Jimbo
18-12-07, 14:43
I've been putting it off for ages, but today I managed it and it went really well. :yesyes:
Normally when I go out, I go to do something I have to do, then rush home as fast as possible without a moment to think, which is when I start panicking. I wanted to go and spend some time just doing something pleasurable outside of home and take my time. Someone suggested the library and it seemed doable.
I dealt with the lady at the desk and checked my card was ok. Had a good look round at what stuff they have and found a couple of books to take out. It's just a small local library as I'm quite a way out of the city so there isn't much, but I can request books if I want.
Then I noticed they had some really comfy looking sofas and thought why not, I'll sit down and read a magazine for a while and just watch people coming and going. I felt totally relaxed and no anxiety or panic at all. I actually found it really calming and quiet in there. It was interesting seeing all the strange characters coming and going (They are whole story of their own, lol).
I even felt comfortable enough to take my jumper off and expose my scarred arms, which is an achievement for me. The first time I've shown them in public. No one stared or said anything as I feared.
So I feel good about it, I think I will try to go at least once a week when I'm feeling up to it. It's not much but it's a start at going out on my own.
Jim :hugs:
Normally when I go out, I go to do something I have to do, then rush home as fast as possible without a moment to think, which is when I start panicking. I wanted to go and spend some time just doing something pleasurable outside of home and take my time. Someone suggested the library and it seemed doable.
I dealt with the lady at the desk and checked my card was ok. Had a good look round at what stuff they have and found a couple of books to take out. It's just a small local library as I'm quite a way out of the city so there isn't much, but I can request books if I want.
Then I noticed they had some really comfy looking sofas and thought why not, I'll sit down and read a magazine for a while and just watch people coming and going. I felt totally relaxed and no anxiety or panic at all. I actually found it really calming and quiet in there. It was interesting seeing all the strange characters coming and going (They are whole story of their own, lol).
I even felt comfortable enough to take my jumper off and expose my scarred arms, which is an achievement for me. The first time I've shown them in public. No one stared or said anything as I feared.
So I feel good about it, I think I will try to go at least once a week when I'm feeling up to it. It's not much but it's a start at going out on my own.
Jim :hugs: