why cant i just believe them

[linzi]

ive had a lump in my neck for just over a month now.it is a lymph node.i have had the bloods and the chest x-rays and last week had the biopsy.yesterday the biopsy results came back clear.
yesterday i was on a high and now today im back convinced they must have it wrong and i must still have cancer and they have just missed it,cause its some other form of cancer.
ive been panicing and all day,in floods of tears and trying my very best not to call the emergency doctors.
all advice very welcomed xxxxx

[joannap]

hi linzi

this is just your anxiety creeping back in! it cannot be any other type of cancer - if your bloods are fine and your chest x ray is fine and the biopsy is fine - THERE IS NO WAY IT CAN BE CANCER! the biopsy would be to look for abnormal cells - that;s what cancer is and as the bioposy is fine - there is NOTHING to worry about and no other test to have - it is simply your anxiety manifesting itself through this thought - the trick is to accepet you are fine and don't let it manifest through a new symptom. i know its terrible when you feel like you cannot even convince your own brain but try to think of others who are battling cancer - they would love to hear the news you have just had! (this is not to make you feel guilty - just to put it into perspective).

its difficult when we anxiety sufferers are actually faced with the real possibility that something is wrong with our health - and you did right to get the lump checked. the trouble is - when i suffered with some physical symptom - i was like you - on a high when the test results were fine but then plunged back down again because we are not getting to the root cause of the anxiety and so it just finds a new thought/symptom. i think mine was a fear of death but i have become more spiritual and have a faith in life after death so my health anxiety is not as bad now. i do not automatically think the worst and if i have a symptom - i now tell myself that if it ever turned out to be the worst - i could get treatment for it. hope you feel better soon. jo x

[linzi]

aww jo ,thankyou so much for your post.
as i read it ,it makes so much sence and you are so right.
i know you are right and i know deep down the doctors are right,ut my head just wont think that way.death is a huge worry of mine.not because of the actual death but leaving my children who are still so young.i keep running it through it my head what will happen to them if a die.im sure it makes me worse but i just cant seem to stop doing it.
xxxxxxx

[joannap]

hi linzi

my mum had this fear when we were young. she lost her mum as a child and so could trace it back to that. she now regrets being terrified throughout our childhood that the same thing would happen to her - all those years of worrying! every parent must feel this thought but your anxiety is sensitizing you to it - death is the one thing we cannot control and if i think about it intensely - i could panic too.

i think the thing is is to accept you have this worry but do not get into mental arguments with yourself over it - just let it be there and then get on with enjoying your kids. i think everyone has times where they imagine what they would do if the worst happened - maybe it would help if you knew your parents/family/partner would take over? its like making a will - you don't expect it will be needed for years and years but it can give peace of mind.

i am sure you will be around until you are a little old lady!!! try and have a good xmas. jo x

[linzi]

you have me thinking now.i lost my dad when i was 4 years old and i have no memories of him.i think i fear that if i die while my children are young they too wont remember me and how much i loved them.

i wonder if this is where my whole health anxiety stems from deep in my mind.

thankyou jo.your words really have helped alot.i wish you too a good christmas xxx