worried about hiv

[jenfen1982]

Please I need you advice. Ill start from the beginning.

I have had 2 sexual partners. One of them I am still with and we have a young baby.

About 6 weeks ago I went to a male lap dancing place for a giggle with my friends. My friend gave one guy a token so i could have a private lapdance as it was my b day. I was very very drunk at this point so went along in there. I went in the cubicle which is situated just off the main stage where they have drag queens etc to entertain. The guy was very goodlooking and started to dance, I was very turned on by this i any girl would be..THats there job to do that. I had a dress on. He then started to dance in between my legs...thats where my mind goes a little fuzzy, i remember him rubbing against me and i also remember a thrust. anyway i leave the cublicle after that and say to my friwnd i want to go home. Something happened in there that shouldnt of. I felt so dirty and upset that i have cheated on my partner.
Anyway i go to the doctor who said i should take morning after pill to be safe..and also i should get tested for hiv as he is a sex worker and may also be gay!. he aint he is a stripper, i contacted the club to see what went on on the tape.they have cctv installed in there but it can only show from there backs. it just said that it looked like he was dancing sexily in between my legs...anyway i track this guy down om myspace and he says he has not got hiv. i asked if the sex happened or nor. he has not replied. apparently he has got sacked from the place. i feel violated. anyway i have been getting a lot of symptoms of late. like skin crawling sensation and trembles etc and i know i shouldnt google hiv symptoms but i cant help myself, what i have been describing are listed. im so scared and have to wait to get tested, this is destoying my relationship with my partner, i hate myself that i cannot remember, i jusr remember a thrust. please give honest responses. Thanks

[chalky]

Hi Jen,

You have had a truly awful experience.

:hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

I think you will need the support and advice of people with experience in such matters.

Are there any support groups near you who you could turn to?-e.g.rape crisis centre,women's aid centres.
I understand that these groups can provide you with confidential assistance.
Please accept that your panic symptoms are a response to this terrible ordeal and are not permanent.
My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Best wishes,
Chalky

[Janieb]

Hi Jen,

Sorry to hear about what happened and you shouldn't be blaming yourself about these things that's why they are called Accidents! because we never plan for them to happen.

if you feel like you need to speak to someone about the HIV maybe call the National AIDS & Sexual Health Line open 24/7 or any others Chalky has recommended. It's important to talk about it.

do you know why he was sacked? I think they should give you that much information! but don't beat yourself up about it, these things unfortunately happen and men like that should be put in jail if they are so slimy that they abuse the trust of a vulnerable woman!! At one stage I convinced myself I had HIV because I get tattoos done and had some of the "symptoms" don't Google please.


:hugs: :hugs: I hope you get your results back quickly! I hate waiting for test results expecially these ones. Sorry I can't be much more help.

Take care
Janie

[happyone]

Many years ago (when I was19) I had a one night stand and without being too vulgar, I thought I was being careful, but he removed the protection half way through.
What a state I got in. I got really really ill with anx but I refused to take an HIV test. It ruined potential relationships for many years. Eventually I tried to put it behind me and I had a relationship. However, every time my anx got high, I thought I had infected him too. I didn't take a test until I was 31!!!!! It was negative. That was 12 years of unecessary worrying.
The point I am trying to make is, it sounds like there is a very small chance something happened but you are dealing with it in the correct manner. ie getting a test, taking the morning after pill.
Try not to let this cloud too much of your life hun. As the others have said, it wasn't planned or out of malice.
Are you able to tell your partner what happened?
I also think the idea of phoning up one of the helplines sounds like a good idea.
Take care
Happyone
xx

[jenfen1982]

Hi, Thanks for the responses.
I have told my boyfriend what happened and he tells me i should never of got that drunk, but says there is no way i would have hiv because 1 in a 1000 people have it and there is another 1 in a 1000 chance of contracting it if the person did infact have hiv, also because the skank did not finish(every girl knows when a bloke has finished im sure, you would feel it or notice it?) lowers the risk again. he is happy to sleep with me. But i just feel awful.
When and if i take the test im going to be so petrified. i had clamidyia and gonnerrreah test done, they cam back negative. Do you think im reading to much into it and its just anxiety causing these stupid symptoms?? thanks

[nomorepanic]

They are NOT allowed to get intimate with people so you won't have had sex trust me.

All is ok

[jenfen1982]

If I did not have sex then why when i asked him out right on an email he said i dont have hiv or std's. He didnt give me an answer if we did or didn't. I have emailed him loads of other times but he just keeps ignoring me. He propbably thinks im mental. I want to put this behind me. I mot the kind of girl who goes around sleeping with people behind there boyfriends backs.

I need to stop thinking about it but is is always there especially when my bf tries to get intimate with me. Should I take the test or just try and get on with things?

[Janieb]

Hi Jen, I would just take the test for peace of mind at least you will know 100% that you are ok, as I am sure you are. If it doesn't cost you anything maybe test and put your mind at rest I know I would.

Good to hear you told your BF hopefully that has taken some strain off your worries.

Take care,
Jane

[Lissy43]

If you had sex with him and he did infact have HIV the risk is less than 1% of you catching it. From 1 exposure esp if he didn't finish the chance is something like 0%;-)

I honestly would not worry, have a test at 6 or 12 weeks to put your mind at rest but honestly HIV is very hard to contract.