Hello All

[pikefish]

I have just joined and am not quite sure what it is that I am looking for. I left work in early November having been off sick for the previous 6 months with anxiety and stress brought about by major changes in my work role. I was a senior manager in the Civil Service managing a large, (over 55 people) internationally dispersed team. Contrary to popular belief, the Civil Service is not always a supportive employer. My own line manager took 11 weeks to make an initial contact with me (after I had sent in my sick notes and my wife had telephoned him explaining what was happening to me. In fact out of 3 attempts to telephone him she only manage to make personal contact with him once), and that was to tell me to hurry up and get back to work (actually written more diplomatically but that was the gist of the letter). This, in my eyes, indifference towards me, was actually more stressful to me than the work issues that caused my original illness. Eventually I decided that I would be better off leaving. Indeed I did feel much improved. But what do I do now?

I had some CBT and drugs. Both of which have finished but been helpful. My big problem is that I am physically well, and because of this have felt a fraud throughout my whole illness. Our household income has dropped by 2/3rds since November and whilst it is enough to live on, I feel very motivated to address the problem that I have caused. My wife has been extremely supportive, but I do not want her to have to shoulder the financial burden alone.

In a nutshell; I am 50, have gained no academic qualifications since I was 16 (I joined the Civil Service as a Labourer and worked my way up. At one time I was held up to junior staff who believed that there was a "glass ceiling" at mangement level as a success story) worked for one employer since I was 17. Have not worked due to mental illness for 8 months now. Do I have a future? All inspirational stories or practical suggestions for help would be gladly received.

[Fall Out Boy]

welcome to no more panic, from:

http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1021/1340867307_4fa42c0327.jpg

[groovygranny]

Hello Pikefish :welcome: to you!

I'm not overly impressed with your boss :( but you'll get plenty of help and support here :) !

Of course you have a future - it just may not be a continuation of the one you thought you'd have !!

Try not to worry too much about your wife (not easy!) we wives are quite resilient! I'm 53 and have been working all the hours I can since my hubby (60) was medically retired over five years ago. He is what he proudly calls himself a 'house husband' - even though he's not physically able to undertake all that that implies lol !!

I too, have worked my way up in my job - but have no paper qualifications.
But you concentrate on getting yourself well for now (sorry, that's the 'granny' in me!) and try not to think too far ahead. I know thats difficult because of the financial burdens, but it is necessary. I was on sick leave for 6 months then had to go back for financial reasons (because my hubby can't work) - but that's my personal circumstance.

Anyway, welcome again - pleased to meet you!

:)

[chalky]

Hi Pikefish,

Welcome to NMP.

:yesyes: :yesyes: :yesyes: :yesyes: :yesyes: :yesyes: :yesyes: :yesyes:

I would disagree with your description of yourself as a fraud.A person's health cannot be judged in terms of the physical part alone.You deserve respect for recognizing that you have problems which you are trying to address.
I also switched roles with my wife-I left a good job following major surgery.My wife enjoyed her new-found responsibilities and continues to do so.
Try to accept your circumstances as they are today.It is imperative that you allow yourself time to treat your health issues.
Life can and will get better.
Best wishes,
Chalky

[honeybee3939]

Hi Pikefish

Welcome to NMP, its lovely to see you here, im sure you will get some great advice, support and make new friends too.:)

love
:hugs:
Andrea
xxxxx

[mingsy]

Hi Pikefish
SNAP
I left school at 17, worked my way up from a Dental Nurse to a Dental Practice Manager, which I had been doing for the past 18 years, due to work overload and drastic changes in the NHS, it all became too much for me and was off work with anxiety,panic depression for 12 months, my employer was very unsupportive, and in the end I decided to leave.
I also had CBT and meds, and was leaving alot better this summer, again feeling a bit of a fraud, but at the grand old age of 42 and with a history of mental illness who would want me??????, and could I manage work again????
Well the answer is yes I was wanted and yes I could do it.
My daughter works in retail, when not at Uni, her boss asked her if she new of anyone who could do him a couple of days as most of his staff had gone down with one of these bugs, she suggests me. One phone call later and 15 mins training on the till, I'm now a fully fledged shop assistant, working at the moment 39hrs a week, the pay isn't too great, my feet throb at the end of the day, but I'm loving it!!!!!!!!!!!!
Also because I was incapacity benifit, I got £250 lump sum for going back to work, plus £40 a week for 12 months and if my symptoms return and I can no longer work I go straight back onto incapacit benifit.
So I hope this gives you a bit of hope, when you feel ready just take it in small steps.
Good Luck

[Nibbles]

Hi Pikefish and :welcome:

You'll get loads of advice and support here while making new friends along the way. You might want to have a look at the links on the left as there's lots of good information there. In terms of your career, have you given any thought from doing a course from home?

Take care,

Mike :)

[manmoor]

Hi Pikefish,

A big warm welcome to you. xx

[pikefish]

Thank you thank you.

I have only been a member of this board for 24 hours and have already received such warm comments and support.:D

[Lindalou64]

HELLO PIKEFISH I AGREE WITH CHALKY ITS AN ILLNESS.......WE SHALL GET BETTER THO..I WELCOME YOU AND WISH YOU WELL.........LINDA

[Pickle]

Hi Pikefish, a very warm :welcome: x

Take care

[Meewah]

welcome to no more panic, from:

http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1021/1340867307_4fa42c0327.jpg

Whats with the daft signature. This is not facebook you know.

[nomorepanic]

Hi Pikefish

I just wanted to :welcome: you aboard and lovely to see you here.

Have a good read of the website pages on the left as well for loads of tips and advice.

Hope we can be of some help.

[trac67]

Hi Pikefish,

Welcome to the forum, you will get a lot of good advice here and make some new friends

Take care

Trac xxx