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Bill
01-01-08, 01:41
I was watching The Railway Children today. One of the rare simply nice films produced in recent times.

There was a scene that started me thinking. The children found out when it was the station masters birthday so they asked everyone in the town if they'd like to give him a present. When they gave him the presents, he immediately became angry for fear that others would think he was poor and in need in charity. It was only when he was told that people liked him and so they gave them because he was so well respected, that he accepted them.

When we think of fear, we think of how it stops us doing things we want to do but there is much more to fear than just the obvious.

Often when we are in need of help, we either don't ask for it or don't accept it when it's offered. These can be simply because we're independent and our pride won't let us but sometimes also it's because if we admit to needing help, we feel weak and so feel bad and guilty for needing it. We're often afraid of being a burden and what others might think of us. Sometimes also if we ask, we fear being let down or rejected, or become afraid there will be strings attached.

Most of these reasons are down to fear, negative thinking and our low self esteem. The causes I think can be involved but to get better we Have to be prepared to risk asking for help or accepting it when it's offered, otherwise we end up suffering in silence alone.

If the station master had returned all the presents, who would have been the loser?

When things became too much for me, one of the causes was my wifes illness. I couldn't cope with the pressure but I couldn't take things out on her because it wasn't her fault so I turned in on myself and self harmed etc. When things became really bad I realised I had to change my attitude somehow. I tried very hard to get help for myself but no one listened or could help. When I heard of others suffering I realised that I could turn my negative ways into positive ways by sharing my experiences.

The point is, fear prevents us doing things in so many less obvious ways, even to the point of not allowing ourselves to be helped either by others or due to our own fears that create barriers that others cannot penetrate.

To get better, barriers have to be lowered despite our fears that make us feel so ill and trapped, otherwise there is no hope.

Anyway that's what the film started me thinking.:hugs:

panicdiva
01-01-08, 03:29
You are so right!!!! Fear can be really obvious, but it can also be so very subtle, to the point that we do not realise just how much fear stops us from truly being the person that we are meant or want to be. Something as simple as accepting help or even a compliment ! Even an innocent compliment makes us live in fear because we fear not only what lies behind the compliment, but we fear how we should react; do we accept it, say thank you or ignore it or downplay it? FEAR is so powerful.

Thanks for sharing that insight with us.