I just dont know what to do anymore ...

[GemmaAnn]

Hey guys, I dont often post, but im here quite often just to read posts and even that gives me some comfort.

This xmas has been the worst iv ever had. My anxiety hasnt been bad, but my grandad died just before xmas, and then on boxing day my boyfried of nearly 2 and a half years broke up with me, completly out of the blue :weep:
He was the one keeping me grounded and happy, all my probems were in perspective when I thought of him.
We loved each other, and to me there wernt any signs that this was going to happen. Im absolutly devastated and i dont know what to do :(

To top it off, we lived together at uni and hes moved out of our flat. I dont want to live there alone as not only will I be lonley but it will be so sad without him and all his stuff :weep:

This has happened less than a week before my final exams for uni are about to start and im a complete mess.
I planned my life with him. I needed him and now im lost :(

sorry for whining on ... but I just need some hugs.

[Believe]

:hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:


Hi GemmaAnn,

So sorry to hear this hun. Not really sure what to say here, but remember you aren't alone, we are here.

I know it's hard but please don't let this mess up your finals hun, you have worked hard to get there. It seems dark today, but the sun will shine again .

Am here if you need a shoulder.
Take care,
Tina

[doglover]

Hi :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

Im so sorry to hear you're having such a terrible time. I hope you have someone to confide in about how devastated you are, dont bottle it up and cry as much as you need to.
Everyone goes through heartbreak at some time in their lives and it doesn't get any easier to deal with, I know.
Sometimes the hardest part is not only in missing that person, but its all the dreams you had for the future which are taken away too.
I do hope you will find the strength to keep going with your exams. You owe it to yourself.
Sorry Im not much use but you will be okay in time.
Take care
Donna :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

[groovygranny]

Gemma, you have as many http://i210.photobucket.com/albums/bb56/gemluva/Hugs.gifas you need...

and more!

Wise words from Tina and Donna.

It is difficult for you to see beyond your hurt and pain at the moment but with help and support from family, friends and/or on here, one day you'll suddenly realise the pain is a little less than the day before.....and so on...until it either bearable or doesn't hurt anymore.

Lots of love to you......and you try and go for it with those exams - please, keep us updated so that we can support you?

:hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

:flowers:

[Granny Primark]

Gemma what a terrible thing to happen at this time in your life.
Its tough at the moment but hopefully in time youl look back and think and realise that things werent meant to be and that something good comes out of something bad.
You are young and tho it doesnt seem possible at the moment you will have other dreams.
My daughter had dreams when she went uni. However her dreams changed and she has found complete happiness in a way I never thought possible.
Take comfort from friends and family.
Do things for you and no one else.
I wish you loads and loads of happiness.
You go girl!!
Loads of love
LYNN xx

[GemmaAnn]

Thanks so much guys.
Im just trying to study for my exams and not look further into the future than tomorow, tho i dont even want to look there because waking up is the worst time for me :(

Hes talking to me on msn right now, its our 1st proper converstion and im shaking like a leaf. I dont know why.
I dont even know why im talking to him, he says he feels awful and is obviously looking for sympathy, I cant be mean tho because im still in the phase where more than anything I want him back :(

Oh its such a mess ... thanks for your advice tho

xxx

[Nibbles]

Hi Gemma,

I'm sorry this has come at such a difficult time with the passing of your grandad and your exams. Concentrating on your studying and taking things a day at a time will help distract you from the inevitable hurt. The shaking is because of all the emotions you're feeling I'm sure and very natural. Please don't bottle things up, talk to either your family or us.


:hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:


Take care,

Mike :)

[trac67]

http://i37.photobucket.com/albums/e64/jennpooh/Hugs.gif

Just wanted to give you a hug

Love

Trac xxx

[Southern_Belle]

Hi GemmaAnn,

Please accept my condolences on the loss of your Grandfather. As for your boyfriend, I know it is a cliche', but only time will heal the pain you are feeling. Do try to focus on your studies as it is so important to do well regardless of whether you get back with your boyfriend or not. I do know how difficult that might be so try and pamper yourself by doing lots of things you enjoy. This is the best time to lean on your friends and family.

Please know you will get through this...

Love and hugs,

Laura

[GemmaAnn]

Hey, Thanks again for the support. Just wanted to update on the situation, as Im home alone and have noone to talk to.

He came by for some stuff a bit ago, we were supposed to be having a chat, but when he got here he sed he only had 10 mins cuz he had a family friends party to go to. How typical of him, to promise me time then go do something else. Its these little things that make me realise I need someone more supportive and more emotional than him.
I talked to him for a bit, I had so much to say but I couldnt remember any of it and he was so unemotional like he didnt even care tho I know he is sad about it. He just kept saying 'I cant do it anymore' which makes me feel like iv been beating him up or treating him really badly ... which just isnt true. :shrug:
Anyways the end of it all is, I had about half an hour of his time where I wept and tried to talk to him and he just looked at me and occasionaly said 'Im sorry' then I got his stuff and he left, giving me a short hug.
It really is over, I hadnt let myself believe it before, I was convinced he still loved me because of all the things he said and did. But there is is ...

And now I feel like I cant get over him alone :lac: If we have any hugs or advice to spare im greatly in need ...

Thanks

[Panic1971]

:hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: Big hugs to you!!!!!

Take care:hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

[doglover]

Hi,
it sounds like you dealt with the situation of him coming round very well. There is no feeling in the world like that of a broken heart. Nothing I can say will make you feel better, the only healer is time. You WILL be okay and be able to look back on this relationship one day and realise it really wasn't as good as you thought it was. Be strong and remember you are special and the right person for you is out there somewhere, but for now, try and do the things YOU want to do, buy the food YOU want, watch what YOU want on the tv, spoil yourself when you can.
Thinking of you
Donna x

[GemmaAnn]

Well I thought id update on the situation.

I sat two 3 hour exams, one on monday and the other yesterday. I stayed at my mates flat at uni over this time, and for the 1st exam we revised together which really helped keep my mind off it. for those 3 days (I went on sunday) I was ok ... managed not to cry or anything :) but then I had to go back to the flat me and the bf used to share to pick up some stuff.
Hes moved everything of his out and just left my stuff everywhere where hes separated it out from his ... it was awful seeing the place like that and reminded me of how it was when we first moved in, and how full of excitement and hope i was :weep:

I know now that I cant live there alone so the next step is to figure out how im going to commute from Cheshire to Liverpool for uni :wacko:

I feel really down today after a really realistic dream last night where he hugged me and told me he loved me. And I woke up and believed it, then theres that moment of realisation, I tried to fight the thought coming into my head but it was like it happening all over again :weep:

Anyways sorry for going on ... I guess for now I should just be pleased I made it through my 1st 2 exams and be proud.

xx

[doglover]

GemmaAnn
you should certainly be proud of yourself for getting through your 2 exams. Well done for staying focused. Its only natural you are feeling down but you have proved to yourself how strong you can be on your own.
Take care
Donna

[Granny Primark]

Well done for for getting through 2 exams.
To me it shows youve got strength.
Be proud of yourself.
Have you thought of changing uni?

A new year a new start.

Good luck in whatever you choose to do.
Loads of hugs.

LYNN xx

[GemmaAnn]

Hey,

No theres no point in changing uni, as my ex isnt at uni and hes moved back home and not only that but im graduating in June (one of the reasons im so angry he messed this up for me, cuz they are my finals!).

Anyways I thought id add to this post to tell you all im feeling a lot better, and starting to look forward to the future ... going out with mates and things that I didnt do before! I still feel a bit lonley but its amazing how many people come out of the woodwork when you really need support :)

Hes talking to me on MSN again now, for the 1st time in a while ... he keeps asking me what im up to and stuff ... so I thought id show him I wasnt sat crying over him by telling him my plans (last time he saw me I was a mess about the whole thing) unfortunatly its only made him mad.
I know he has no right to be mad, and im the one thats been let down here, so I dont feel too upset, only confused!

Anyways thanks guys for listening :)

[kazzie]

Hi Gemma:D

Take it from me (and Im 45) the sweetest revenge is for him to think you are happy , busy, and enjoying life!!!!

Im sure Mr right is around the corner!!!!

Kaz x x x:hugs:

[Paddington]

Gemma a HUGE well done for sitting those exams:hugs:and ,yep,the best medicine for him is to know you are happy and living your life to the full.never waste your precious youth on regret! Love Paddie.xxxxxxxxxxx

[Lilith1980]

Hes talking to me on MSN again now, for the 1st time in a while ... he keeps asking me what im up to and stuff ... so I thought id show him I wasnt sat crying over him by telling him my plans (last time he saw me I was a mess about the whole thing) unfortunatly its only made him mad.
I know he has no right to be mad, and im the one thats been let down here, so I dont feel too upset, only confused!
:)


He would probably feel better thinking you were moping around about it all, so maybe his ego has taken a bit of a dent knowing you are moving on with life :emot-shakehead:

But its great to hear you are doing things with your mates and looking to the future. Best of luck to you hun :hugs: xxxxx

[anxious]

Well done you for coming through this and getting on with your life.
I wish you much happiness,

love anx xx