View Full Version : Will the anxiety ever go away for good?
I was diagnosed with GAD in 2004, have had CBT several times and am on paroxetine. But although I can have long good periods, I'm in the middle of quite a long relapse and it just feels like I'll never be rid of the anxiety and tears. Is this a condition you can cure or am I always going to have to work at it? It just feels so unfair - I wish I was someone else.
Hi sfee, I know exactly how you are feeling. I started with anxiety in July 2006. By April 2007 I was virtually over it and had three great months when I would say I was 85 or 90% cured. I was almost back to normal and even able to have a week in Scotland in July with my family. But a week after we got back, in early August I had a relapse too. I have been that way ever since so like you, quite a long relapse. I am in tears whilst I type this and cry often. I just want my life back. It is so difficult isnt it. Yes it feels unfair to me too and I also wish I was someone else.
But sfee, we CAN get over this. I have had anxiety 4 times in 30 years and it has ALWAYS gone COMPLETELY. The second time I had it, it took about 6 months to clear and a year later I sent my Psychologist a postcard from Florida to prove my point!!! You dont go abroad with anxiety do you?!!!
Definitely though, it has ALWAYS gone so I am expecting it to do so this time too.
Do you get out at all sfee? I do. I make myself go out. But I do it in my own time and at my own pace.
My worst symtom is feeling unreal so of course that makes driving difficult. I dont like driving feeling like I am on drugs!!
Take Care sfee.
Shirley x
Hi Shirley - thanks for your message. It really helps knowing that others have the same experience, even though I wouldn't wish this on anyone and really hope you feel better soon.
I do go out because that gives me additional stimuli to distract me. But sometimes I have to stay in and do my work (I have a lot of work I have to do at home, being a teacher) and that's when it gets really bad. What do you do to help you get through those sorts of times?
I don't understand the relapses either. Objectively, my life is fine although we do have an inspection coming up at school. But that shouldn't involve me too much so I don't understand why I'm feeling so low. And how do I prevent relapses in the future if they just come out of the blue?
I just wish there was a switch to turn it all off!
Hi sfee, I agree, it does help knowing we are not alone with this experience doesnt it. Like you, I wouldnt wish it on anyone, not even my worst enemy. I hope you soon feel better too.
Yes, it helps going out doesnt it. I take it very carefully though. Apart from the unreality, my main "concerns" are, not wanting to be far from the car when I do go out, not wanting to drive far and not wanting to go anywhere with friends/family incase I cant come home when I want. So I have been trying to go further and further from the car when I go out and I even managed to take the kids out for a couple of hours the other day - something I have avoided since the summer (apart from once before Xmas) as I didnt know how I would be with the anxiety. But I managed anyway.
I am at home now and feel quite bad so I will probably go and relax in a bath soon and listen to some music and/or read my Claire Weekes book.
I think the relapses happen because something in our subconcious triggers it.
I think you are great working as a teacher when you have anxiety problems. My friend down south is a college tutor and I think she is marvellous too. She really has her ups and downs with the anxiety.
My life, I admit is unhappy. I am not in love with my husband and I am on my own in this town with my twins and hubby and mum in law, none of whom understand the predicament I am in, so I try and hide it. I had a major realisation a couple of years ago, that my dad had been emptionally abusive for over 30 years, and thats why I dont want to be close to my husband or any man, ever again as long as I live. Incidently, before we got married, we had a distance relationship and it was only when we moved in together that the trouble started. It was soon after I had this realisation that the anxiety kicked in.
I had planned on going out this morning but instead am waiting for a mental health nurse to call. I was referred to her a year ago and she was most unreliable so I am wondering if she is going to let me down today too.
At least I was able to have 40 minutes in town yesterday - away from the car - so that was good. But I feel strange now.
Shirley
x
Hi sfee.
You have to BELIEVE you'll get away from it. You say you're "in the middle of quite a long relapse" - but you could actually be near the end of that relapse. Positive thinking!
You've been fine for long stretches before, so you can do it again - you know it's possible.
Once you're feeling that you can cope again, you may be ok for the rest of your life, or maybe you'll have one more relapse. Who knows? It could be years away. No point worrying about the future when it can look after itself. Try to live your life NOW, one day at a time.
take care.
Hi Messed up, Thanks for reminding me of that too. I have been in the "middle" of a long relapse and I agree, me and sfee may well be near the end of it. It is quite possible. I have had long periods of being well too so I know its possible. Yes, one day at a time is the thing, isnt it. Also, as you point out, positive thinking...
Thanks Messed up.
Shirley
Hi Shirley,
How did the visit with the mental health nurse go? I really hope she turned up. I wish I could help you more too but this is still relatively new for me. This looks like a great place for advice though.
Love sfee
My CBT therapist says that he had GAD and that he feels he is cured now! I think it can be cured in time and with a lot of hard work, i need to keep believing that.
The "cure" is within us in our thinking patterns.
Identify the fears that trigger the anxiety symptoms and learn new ways of thinking to counteract the negative thought patterns. The fears will be overcome and the anxiety symptoms melt. There is ALWAYS hope because there is ALWAYS a way!:hugs:
Hi sfee, How are you this morning? I am still unreal and got a bit of an headache too. Yes the Nurse turned up though it was after I had rang to find out where she was! She stayed about an hour and listened to how I had got on last year. When I started recovering and then the relapse etc. And she feels that I need to be doing some sort of voluntary work to get me out of the house two or three times a week, to be with other people and to do something positive. I know she is right. Voluntary work helped me last year and took my mind off me. She also suggests writing down a list of positives and also doing so exercise as that would use up the adrenalin. Anyway she is going to keep in touch with me and also suggests that I e-mail her if I need her. Yes sfee, this is a great place for advice and we all know we are not alone with how we are feeling too.
Shirley x
Hi mlondon, This can definitely be cured in time. Its just so frustrating living through it, isnt it. But yes, lets all hold on to the fact that this WILL go, given time.
Shirley x
Hi Bill, Yes, I agree totally that the cure is within our thinking patterns. And as you say we need to learn new ways of thinking to counteract the negative thought patterns, then the fears will then be overcome and the anxiety will melt. I know just what you are saying Bill. Its so hard to do though isnt it.
I am sat here feeling unreal as I type and feel unreal much of the time. I know this is merely the symptom of a tired mind but its very off putting and doesnt help when it comes to driving, as you will understand.
One thing Bill, I have noticed that when my mind is completely focussed elsewhere (thats not often) but when it is, the anxiety isnt there, neither is the unreality! So another key to all this is being completely distracted and doing something we enjoy so much that we "forget" how we are feeling.
From Shirley
Hello Shirley,
I have noticed that when my mind is completely focussed elsewhere (thats not often) but when it is, the anxiety isnt there, neither is the unreality!
Which goes to prove how powerful the mind is in making us think that we're actually "ill" when we're not. The symptoms are just created by the way our minds have learned to react to thoughts so if we change the way we think and react, then the symptoms will go too.
The "magic cure" is within ourselves. We just need to find the strength to activate the knowledge we learn to deal with what frightens us, that triggers our symptoms.
There is no simple answer and every persons causes and triggers differ but with time we can learn to control our fears.
I am sat here feeling unreal as I type and feel unreal much of the time. I know this is merely the symptom of a tired mind
Distraction is very useful to focus our mind away from our fears but when the distraction is over and the mind becomes bored, it'll wander back to the thoughts that worry us so those thoughts also need to be properly dealt with to obtain a 24hr package of coping.:hugs:
Hi Bill, Yes the mind is a very clever thing isnt it. Yes the symptoms must be created by the way our minds react to our thoughts so if we change the way we think and react, the symptoms will go too. I agree, the cure is within ourselves and we need to find the strength to deal with what frightens us and triggers our symptoms. Yes we can learn to control our fears. Re the distraction, thats another good point, when we are bored our mind wanders back to our worries so yes, our thoughts need to be dealt with properly too.
Thanks
Shirley
Hi Bill, Just thought I would let you know that I had a couple of positives today. I went to the retail park with the car (only 2 miles away) and got a parking ticket. But it was the first time in ages that I was nearly late getting back to the car and felt I could have stayed longer in the shops! Also, I actually chatted to someone I knew in the shops when, in recent months I have avoided speaking to anyone and even making eye contact. That was positive number 1.
This is positive no.2. When I got back from the retail park, I walked round to Homebase and JJb sports with the kids. I have not done this for ages as one of my fears has been that I dont want to be far from the car whenever I go anywhere. So walking yo JJb sports was getting me well away from the car.
Those are my positives for today. Hubby wasnt impressed as he doesnt understand anxiety and its impact on your life although he has seen me upset a lot in the last 18 months.
Thanks for listening.
Shirley
Hi,
I'm feeling a bit better as term has now started which is the ultimate distraction (although a source of more concrete worries, e.g. whether I'm teaching the right material etc.) The more introspective worries, e.g. whether I'm always going to feel anxious, whether it's my fault that I feel like this, have faded a bit.
Thanks for the messages - lots of good ideas. I've been writing down positive things I've achieved during the day and trying to do more things I enjoy.
Hi sfee, Glad you are feeling a bit better now that term has started and that you are distracted. Glad also to hear that your more introspective worries have faded a bit too.
Like you, I am going to have to write down the positive things I have achieved during the day. That is a good idea.
Take Care
Shirley
x x x
all i can say is YES it will go! it just takes a positive attitude towards the fact that it will go. i know plenty of ppl who have had GAD and are now living perfectly happy normal lives.
It will go u jus gotta be strong and stay happy. The best thing i ever heard was 'Emotions are like a game of jenga the more blocks u pull out the tower will eventually fall down....but the tower always gets built up again just takes some time' :):)
Hope that qoute helps it helped me to understand
take care and much love
Lawzy xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
For every negative thought, replace with a positive thought.
If we say to ourselves I felt so ill when I went to town today (negative), replace with I went to town and did what I wanted to, and how I felt Didn't stop me so I should be Proud of myself (positive).
Pat yourself on the back for all you achieve, no matter how small, no matter how you felt at the time and remind yourself you Did do what you wanted so you Are capable.
Positive thinking will have a knock on effect and make you see what's good about You that you fail to see.
Yes, it Is possible to do what we want, when we want without anxiety preventing us but we have to allow ourselves to get better rather than keep ourselves trapped in negativity.
There is Always Hope!:winks:
Hi Bill. I know what you say in the above post is right. We must replace negatives with positives. We must be proud of everything we achieve, no matter how small or how we felt at the time. I need that positive thinking to have a knock on effect on me and make me see the good in me that I find so difficult to see. I for one am not going to allow myself to be trapped in negativity. If you got my PM Bill, you will have seen that I spent 4 hours at Martin Mere today!!! Infact I have had quite a busy week. Heres what I have done so far this week:
Monday; Slimming World in the morning, Hotel re voluntary job in the PM plus a 10 mile drive to the craft shop and 3/4hr at the craft shop.
Tuesday; 2 hours down town
Wednesday: 3/4hr at Asda sale plus a drink in the cafe then a walk to Aldi later in the afternoon.
Thursday: 10 mile drive to Martin Mere then 4 hours there!
When I read that myself Bill it looks quite good doesnt it? Yes I think its been a good week over all, despite how I have felt. Thats the thing isnt it, to be glad with what we have done, no matter how small or how we have felt.
By the way Bill, is it possible to do "too much" when recovering from anxiety?
From BasilCat
Simple answer is Yes, we can do too much but then so can anyone. We have to know our limitations. We all have different limits.
I've always found that if I start to feel too stressed for no apparent reason then I look at how much I'm attempting to do and think about reducing it.
We can normally tell when we try to take on too much.
There's no harm in keeping busy. In fact it's good for us as long as we don't do Too much.
You're doing Really well and you can see your achievements for yourself which will be a boost to your morale. It's a bit like starting a small snowball. As we keep working on the right approach, so the snowball builds as we do with confidence.:hugs:
Hi Bill, Yes, I see, we do all have our limitations dont we, wether we have anxiety or not. So yes, I see now that we can do too much. And as you point out, if we start feeling stressed, we can then reduce what we are attempting to do.
Thats the thing isnt it, keeping busy as long as we dont take on too much.
Yes my achievements during this week look good dont they and do boost my morale. I know what you mean about building a snow ball and it getting bigger as we keep on working on the right approach. As we gain more confidence, the snowball gets bigger and bigger too. It all sort of snowballs!!!! Sorry!
Better stop.
Take Care
Basilcat
Lindalou64
11-01-08, 13:03
I Agree With Bill Its The Way We Think....ya Have To Change The Way Ya Think As In I Felt Bad Ect To A Pat On The Back For Doing It...
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