It was anxiety after all!

[davidr]

Many Thanks to everyone for replying to my introductory post, I am not sure where it is now or if I am now posting in the correct place, please accept my apologies if I am in the wrong forum section.

I have been absent for a week or so as my heart fears took me to see a private heart consultant last Monday and he suggested I have an angiogram to once and for all silence my doubts of dying of a heart attack. He said the cardiac EBT scans would not pick up narrowing of the actual artery but rather calcification and only an angiogram actually answers the narrowing question and if the heart is receiving adequate or reduced bloodflow.

I was in hospital 2 days later having the procedure and he declared my coronary arteries to be 'Pristine'! He Actually used this word and said he had seen worse arteries in people in their 20's my choleterol had also fallen to 4.7 from 5.6 in a year purely on dietary changes and exercise. My other bloods were also good. So some £1500 lighter in pocket but no longer terrified each day I wake up that I will be in A&E or dead by the evening.

So it was anxiety after all, how have I done this to myself to be internally so well yet externally feel so ill and so sure I would die. I still have the palpatations and picked up a leaflet on the subject before leaving hospital. Sometimes I sit and can feel my heart beat all over my body, my stomach was actually beating today and moving in rhythm to my heart which was very strange. I am now concerned that this will become a new focus or obsession and I will need to go back to the consultant again convinced I have an abnormal heart rhythm.

I have started taking valerium root and this does seem to help calm me, I have also purchased something called powerbreathe which is a device to help improve breathing as I am sure my shallow breathing is causing too much adrenaline to keep being released and creating the fight or flight response. The device is amazing in improving the depth of my breathing and making my weakened diaphragm and breathing muscles more effective.

Sorry for the ramble but my mind is all over the place and I have dificulty switching off the millions of thoughts racing through it. It looks like I have to face up to this new illness I have and start working on beating it, they say your depression never really goes but comes back again or else manifests itself somehwere else, there was me thinking I could get on with my life after depression and now this!

I was thinking of doing a Neuro Linguistic Programming and stress management course to try and put my mind into a better place, but can one learn things when I am obviously mentally ill?

[Tracy68]

Hi David
You must be feeling some what relieved though that all of the tests came back with GOOD results. The palpitations is something we all suffer and you now need to concentration on all the positive things going on :D. Keep posting on here as i'm sure with the help of everyone you will get through this and come out smiling.
Take care
Tracy
x

[Meg]

Dear David,

Welcome back.

Very glad to hear that all is well with your heart and you are in the pink ...

Very well done for getting your cholesterol under control so well .. Thats a brilliant job.

**my stomach was actually beating today and moving in rhythm to my heart which was very strange.** This is completely normal . There is a whole thread on this somewhere in the past and I once lined up a few friends and checked each of them and they were all doing it too ...

Did you get the powerbreathe off the net - if so can you post the link as they are very good .

David *but can one learn things when I am obviously mentally ill?* you are not mentally ill at all . You currently have a nervous system on red alert - you will get through this.

Lean on us, post your worries and let us help you along a bit.

Take care




Meg
www.overcominganxiety.co.uk
You cannot conquer fear until you have learned what it is you're afraid of. The enemy is ignorance. Vivian Vance

[davidr]

Thanks Tracy,

I do feel tremendous relief, but also intense disappointment as I thought rather childishly all my problems would go away once my results came back as good. I am fed up that I still have palpitations etc and chest pains, extremity pains, jaw pains, headaches, sickness, fatigue etc as I thought once I knew I was not going to die then these would vanish as would any anxiety, but sadly that is not proving to be the case.

I have more gastro tests next week involving a tube being fitted through my nose and into my stomach and left in for 24 hours which is now the next road for pursuing the cause of all these chest pains etc.

My GP does not seem concerned about this level of pain and it worries me that it could be cancer etc as the pains are very bad. I also recently read about an illness called Fibromyalgia which is very like my symptons and can be found amongst people with previous depression etc.

Am I becoming a Hypochondriac? My mind is furiously trying to rationalise what is going on and I keep trying to fill in the blanks because no doctor can tell me what is wrong with me.

[Meg]

David ,

Have you read our latest Symptom and Health anxiety pages on the home site ?



Meg
www.overcominganxiety.co.uk
You cannot conquer fear until you have learned what it is you're afraid of. The enemy is ignorance. Vivian Vance

[sal]

Hi David

Pleased the tests worked out for the best although cost you a lot of money.

So now you know it is anxiety you know with the help of all of us on the site you will get through this.

Howver we can help we will, just so pleased to hear it is nothing more serious like you thought.

dont get me wrong suffering from anxiety myself i couldnt think of anything worse to suffer from when i am in the midst of it but when reality kicks in although i know im not blessed i know that i am lucky.

Hate how i feel just like you will but it can be cured, however long it takes.

Take care.



Lots of Love Sal xxxxx

[lisarose]

Hi David, it is good to hear from you again:D

I am really pleased that all your tests were fine, congratulations!

I was the same as you though and hoped that my symptoms would just dissappear once I had had the all clear, but sometimes things just aren't that easy(if only!!). You sound like you are doing all the right things for your health though and I am sure the symptoms will ease in time. I still have symptoms after nearly 5 years but I now know they are all part of the anxiety and I try not to worry about them too much now although it is very hard not to worry sometimes.

I would be interested to know more about the powerbreathe device as it sounds very good, where did u get it from and how much does it cost. I tend to breathe from my upper chest and not my diaphram and I also take really shallow breaths and sometimes I seem to hold my breath alot too.

Unfortunately Hypocondriasis is very common in people suffering from anxiety but it doesn't make you mentally ill!!!

Take care and keep posting and we will all try to support and help as much as we can.

Love Lisaxx

[clickaway]

So glad to hear that your cardiac system is in great working order.

I think now you have to teach your mind that all this is just anxiety, and that can be a long process, and will have its setbacks as well, especially when you have new symptoms that occur. I find new pains very alarming, especially if they first occur at night.

If you have the cash, I think its a great idea to spend money on your wellbeing. I am spending some of mine seeing a private therapist - one of the benefits of seeing him is the reassurance he gives me when I feel all the aches, pains and other sensations.

True, there's a loads of support and reassurance here which is very good, but having one-to-one sessions with a professional reinforces that .

My one costs £40 per hour, but you should choose which kind of therapy is the one for you, and also get one from one of the two registered organisations.

Stick at it, David. Its not an easy road, and is not short.

Ray

[davidr]

Thanks again to everyone for taking time to reply and lovely to hear from old friends as well that I spoke to before my treatment :)

The powerbreathe is £49.99 which is expensive but it really is helping my breathing and as such is priceless. You can purchase it at www.4mywayoflife.com enter 'powerbreathe' as a search term.

I breathe exactly like you LisaRose and doctors etc keep telling me this is putting my nervous system in a fight or flight response, I am sorry that you have these symptons still after 5 years that must be very very difficult to deal with. How has your course helped you with your symptoms if at all, as I would like to do something similar but not sure I am well enough.

I am visiting a reflexologist clickaway and looking at yoga etc. Amazingly the reflexologist picked up my neck pain problem and an adrenal gland problem within minutes of feeling the soles of my feet, before I had any chance to mention these to her or give her any clues.

Thanks for your love and kind words Sal, lots back to you as well :)

Meg I will look at the site you mention is this your site? It looks very interesting, I notice an anxiety pack do you think it would be a useful thing for me to purchase? Can't believe your friends had heartbeat rhythm in the stomach I have mentioned it to some people and they look at me as if I have two heads!

[Meg]

Lie them down and take a look !! Most people just haven't noticed it .

Thanks for the link - Good one to have around.


Meg
www.overcominganxiety.co.uk
You cannot conquer fear until you have learned what it is you're afraid of. The enemy is ignorance. Vivian Vance

[nomorepanic]

David

So pleased to hear that you are well and it is anxiety and nothing more serious.

I was so relieved when they gave me a name for all my problems "Panic attacks and anxiety". It kind of helped me to realise that I could then start tackling something with a name rather than wondering if I was going to die soon.

Thanks for the info on the powerbreathe too. Sounds interesting.

Hope you start back on the road to recovery now.

Nicola