Umm,,,,I don't even know a title for this,,,Rant maybe?

[panicagain]

I don't even know if this post belongs here but if it doesn't feel free to move it and i'm sorry but i just hafta get this out, its gonna be a bit of a "pity me" party, sorry.
So its official, tonight my husband and i were talking about my anxiety problem cuz i was starting to get alittle paniced and he finally told me he didn't want me to talk to him any more about it. I knew he was getting frustrated about it but i didn't know it would go this far. Now i don't know what to do, i often wake in the middle of the night with panic attacks, tremmors, crazy thoughts, etc and the only way to get me to calm down is to talk and he would talk to me until the panic was gone. I CAN'T get through the panic with out someone to help me. I don't know what to do. I'm SO scared right now. How am i gonna find someone else to talk to that will talk to me in the middle of the night? Sometimes i think i just need to curl up in a ball and wait for them to take me away in a straight jacket. But i have 2 little girls to take care of so i can't do that. I do feel bad for my husband in a way cuz he doesn't understand this whole thing, the only thing he sees is that he's loosing sleep. What would you do? For those of you that are single, what do you do? :weep:

[coxwit]

I feel the same way rsometimes egards a sense of helplessness and the family getting sick of it...my wife is it her wits end with me...It is importatant to recognize that you have a problem and give it a name be it anxiety or derpression...remember there is no social stigma with it....also important to reinforce to your family that it is an illness like any other and you don't control it...then get professional help be it talk therapy, CBT, yoga and other relaxation, spiritual counselling, and medication if necessary...or all of the above...and then start to move forward through it.

[Alisonj]

My husband and I have the same problem. He truly just doesnt understand it at all. the best we can do is keep going forward and hope that we can get better,
I feel the same way about having someone to talk too. I dont know if you have msn messenger or not but you could add me if you want and then if you need someone to rant at or help you through I can do my best. Just let me know.
Take care

[Catwoman]

My husband is just the same, he says I am 'mad' and has no sympathy whatsoever. I am afraid I have developed like a coping mechanism that when I panic I take myself away and sit somewhere till it passes. I keep it vague and tell him I feel a bit 'funny' and he never talks about it or questions it.
The problem is people DON'T understand unless they have gone through it, no more than we would understand if our husbands wanted to wear pink hats to dinner!
Please PM me if you want.

Sue

[bluesparkle]

my partner didnt understand... and he left me a few months age...but not because of the panic...
you do and will find an inner strength...
i was so upset about him going but also how would i manage etc...
but you will...
and there is always someone here you can talk to...
it is with this site that i have managed to stay stong enough to work and bring up my family...
please pm me if you would like to chat...
it will be ok honest :hugs:

[june]

Hi,
It took me a long time to realise that when I wanted to talk about panic and fear - Hubby did not want to know Because he was afraid - He did not know how to help - he was afraid of ME.

ANYONE who has not seen a person HAVE a panic attack or has not experienced one, MUST find it hard to understand.

One of my daughters is very very good at listening but has some times said she cannot understand why I can't just stop the panic.

Like most of you I have read and re-read many books and this site.
I know most of my problems are in my head BUT as I have said before MY BRAIN takes off on its own and I have no or very little control over it.
I know the deep breathing
I know the visulisations
I know exercise helps
Etc Etc
But from time to time I still panic.
Please believe we all love "a rant" if we do it on here we will not offend anyone or cause family problems.:hugs: :hugs: :hugs:
I really do thank EVERYONE on this site for their help ( even just reading other posts) I know I am not alone:yesyes: :yesyes:
Best wishes
june

[Richie]

Dear Bluesparkle you must have been extremely brave to go on after your husband left you, and i'm so sorry that it happened just proves that anxiety /phobias panic attacks call it what we will can destroy lives and changes relationships between people forever:( :( always my biggest fear is thatmy husband will leave me, my eldest sister won't even speak to me:( the family are torn apart :( :(
well done blue for your courage against all the odds
Richie xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[panicagain]

Thank Y'all So Much:hugs: It amazes me how people that i don't know can be more helpful, supportive, loving, etc. than my own family. I know y'all understand and they don't which is why they aren't as supporting but they're family, they're supposed to be there even if they don't totally understand, there are things that happen in their lives that i don't neccesarily understand but i try to be extra supportive, loving, etc. I wonder if we just are more sensitive to things because we have problems that others don't understand. My husband has a very bad "past" but i always sit and listen to his stories about it and we try to figure out things about it but i never once was annoyed by it. I've even tried to get him to come here to read some of the things here so he could try to understand but he wont do it. So i'm sure i will be leaning on y'all from now on until i get myself figured out, lol,,,,which may take a long, long time. Again Thanks So Much!!!!!:hugs:

[Lilith1980]

I think my boyfriend prefers if its not brought up. I'm not sure - get mixed messages from him. He has told me to "just sort it out" before and for a while afterwards, I became inward and kept my feelings to myself. I said at the time I had been feeling better and he said that seemed to be the case but was it because I just hadnt talked to him about stuff.

But when he has had a go at me like that, why should I feel easy about talking to him. I think deep down he is frustrated and he cannot see what I have to worry about. To him, everything is ok so he cannot fathom why I get into such a state sometimes. He doesnt see why I cant shut it off.

Is there any information you can print off for your husband and ask him to read it? Say you're not giving him the information in the hope he will talk to you, but I think if he is given the facts about the illness, he may understand and empathise more with you.

There are always people to talk to, on here, or have you enquired about counselling? I've only had 3 sessions so far and its such a relief to get things off your chest.

xxx

[jodie]

hiya

well i know how you feel on this one :wacko:

my hubby is just the same i have not realy looked to him for support on the matter as all he ever says to me is dont be silly or i have not got time for this .i think mabe he dose this because he just has never felt the way i do he has not had pa,s or anx at all and well i am not sure if he has any idea what to say to me abuut it and then when he used to say o dont be silly it would get me upset .
i allso get more panicy at night time and have found myself up alone at night but you know i now dont mind it i just sit and ride the panic out there for no one knows about it i havnt bother anyone ect .it is so hard i know but try not to be scared to be alone when you are having a pa and find a way of dealing with it mabe it helped me

jodie xx

[breeze25]

My husband tries to be supportive, but I know he struggles sometimes, On medication once my husband had a few panic attacks, so at least he knows where I am coming from on that score, he just doesn't understand my HA at all. He got a lot better after he attended a doctors appointment and hearing the doctor explain a few things made him a little more understanding.

[joannap]

hi all. i feel really lucky after reading these posts because my husband is v supportive and i could ring my mum at any time - day or night. HOWEVER - i hardly ever mention my panic to my husband unless i feel really bad. i used to mention it to my mum everytime i saw her - to like give her an update but depending on support and reassurance - i now believe - is not the way forward becuase the more attention we give and draw to the feelings - the more it thrives.

don't get me wrong - when you are on the ceiling with panic then its necessary and only normal to seek support - i can't count the number of times i have rung my mum in tears but when we start to feel a little better we need to learn to be our own safe person.

a few weeks ago i had a very wobbly day and rang mum but she was out. i was really distressed at first but then thought - well i;d better get on with my day and by afternoon when she rang me back - i felt much better and didn;t even need to talk to her about it. now when i have similar days i can just carry on - i also spend a lot of time on my own because i work from home and so i decided that i truly had to get the better of anxiety.

the only true way forward is total acceptance. total acceptance of horrible racing thoughts and horrible feelings. if someone close to us can soothe us out of a panic then we have proof that anxiety can be calmed and controlled. i have had intrusive thoughts - too horrible to mention and panic attacks but they are improving all the time because i can now truly let it hit me - observe it and carry on with what i am doing and before i know it it has passed. the only thing that carries on anxiety is our reaction to it - if we could all just truly see it and accept it for the bluff it truly us - in a relatively short space of time we would be just as non anxious as everyone else!

[Meewah]

I used to talk to my wife when it all began but as time went by I stopped talking to her about it as I assume I am meant to be supporting her. We are both very similar and I think I could not cope with her if all she spoke about was "her problems" so I dont bother her with mine. You soon evlove a different coping mechanism. I now think and worry about the thoughts I have being contagious. I agree I would like someone to sound off to on a daily basis but I now find that this forum is just what the doctor ordered.

Its always open night and day.
It never argues.
It always listens to what drivel I cunjure up.
Always supportive.

As said before its like a big extended family.
I know worry if I did not have access to a computer no matter where I am.


Mee