View Full Version : Help with fearful thoughts please
Hi, Does anyone have any advice on how to deal with frightening thoughts. The problem i find is that my fear (possession by demons) is so irrational and a fear of something i can't see so therefore i can't see a way out of it, if it was a fear of a cat, dog or snakes then maybe i could get braver and eventually touch it to help resolve the fear. is it possible to get better from a fear like this, at the moment i'm even thinking that when the anxiety is gone i will still be thinking this irrational thought, thankyou so much, Carol.
groovygranny
07-01-08, 20:47
Hello Carol,
Thank you for giving me permission to move your post - you'll get replies from members in common now!
There is always a way out Carol, please believe that:hugs: - but don't brick the way out up by feeding the fear circle.
Have you considered going to see your GP?:shrug:
These disturbing thoughts cause you fear, and the fear feeds the thoughts -so, a vicious circle is born. But the circle can be broken - usually not easily I grant you, but with help and support from maybe your GP, and others who suffer similarly it is possible.
You need to replace these thoughts with positive, edifying thoughts - try learning a piece of lovely poetry or a song and recite it over and over each time these thoughts start to get a foothold. That may be a good place to start, as it 'trains' your brain to substitue positive thoughts for negative ones.
Don't forget we're all here if you want to chat.
big hugs for you :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:
:flowers:
boogie-woogie
07-01-08, 21:06
hi carol,
there was a technique i read about on the net that helped with this, say the unwanted thought arises rather than fighting or listening to the thought try to let it be and not get swept away with the emotions and feelings the thought has. It is very difficult to break away from the thought but if u can its a start to breaking the cycle. Sometimes we question why the thought happens in the first place or why it happens, but this is keeping you attacthed to the thought. I found just accepting the thought or feeling and letting it go without being taken on a rollercoaster ride. I hope this can be of some help to you.
Thankyou all so much for your help and advice. At the moment it's difficult telling myself the thoughts are irrational especially when there are scary movies etc out there to reinforce the fears. Its strange how logic disappears when anxiety moves in. i just can't imagine ever thinking this without fear hitting in. it is such a help to know i am not alone though, i just wish no one had to endure it , best wishes, Carol.
hello carol
i am new to the site and don't feel in a position to offer you advice but i have got good ears ! i too suffer from ocd and have done for quite some time now . my thoughts constantly involve the fear of contamination . i know these are irrational cos you can't die from touching a door handle . but it doesn't stop me having tormenting thoughts about it all . i am so much better than i was but still live a rather limited life . but ive joined here cos i have reached a stage where i am stagnating with no further improvement . but i have to say i am so nervous about it all though . but read your thread and felt ok to reply cos i wanted you to know of someone with mad phobic fears !
hope this message finds you ok cos im hopeless with technology
bye for now
hope x
Hello Hope,
Something we must ALL keep hold of!...Hope! Very appropriate!:hugs:
Fear of contamination I would guess is probably the most common type of OCD. I've heard of so many people with this including myself! I think it's probably also one of the easier types to cure because it's something we can act on in a physical approach.
I used to wash my hands constantly, even before I left work, Before going to the loo And after, before handling food, touching a toilet seat, covering a toilet seat with toilet paper And not sitting on it, not touching black bags because I connected it with bad things happening, and so on!
My hands would turn white and flake with dryness because of the amount of soap I'd use.
The OCD also affected me in lots of other ways too.
The reason I said it's probably one of the easier types to cure is because I managed to stop the OCD by exposure therapy. I'd push myself to touch things or stop myself from doing things. Once I tackled one fear, the others became easier to resist too......so yes, there is Most Definitely Hope!
If you would like any advice, please feel free to ask or pm me. I'll do my best to help. You Can conquer this!
Carol, I'd be interested to hear where you think your fears originated? If perhaps you can understand the reasons, you may find it easier not to be afraid of the thoughts.
Being afraid of the thoughts is the reason they keep returning. Remove the fear and they'll stop.:hugs:
Thankyou Hope and Bill.
Bill the thoughts came after i lost both parents and a dear Aunt within 6 months of each other. I was very low and vulnerable and at my Mums funeral a religious friend of hers approached me and aske if i read the bible every day, when i told her i didn't as i wasn't overly religious she said i should as i would get possessed by demons if i didn't. That was the start of it all. Since then it has terrified me and i wonder if it happens to people or will it happen to me and immediately panic. Best wishes, Carol.
Hello Carol,
If it's any help to you, I've never read the bible either but to my knowledge I'm not aware of any demons in me except my anxiety!
It's amazing isn't it how someone can say something to us and it sticks as an irrational worry. If she'd never said anything, you wouldn't have this fear.
You need to remind yourself that this was Just "her opinion" based on her religious beliefs. There's no proof, nothing to back it up and no evidence to say it's true so then it really IS just an irrational thought.
I know just by saying it, it doesn't help you but what you need to do is say it to yourself and then Don't dwell on what she said anymore. Every time you get the thought, just remember it was Just Her opinion.
Have you ever heard of people being possessed by demons Because they haven't read the bible? I haven't, other than in horror films.
It only worries you because you felt so vulnerable at the time and she shouldn't have said it to you when there's no truth in it.
Maybe she just wanted to convert you to her religion. They used to use scare tactics in medieval times too. We mustn't believe all we're told or always believe others opinions to be true because sometimes they say things because they've an ulterior motive as she did.
You know deep down that it's just fear talking. I wouldn't believe her myself and I'm happy to reassure you But You need to build faith in your Own opinions and beliefs rather than be swayed by what others believe. I know it's difficult but I really wouldn't give it another thought!:hugs:
ginnungagap
11-01-08, 03:37
You sound like a spiritual-minded person,...
Call on your spirit guide and listen more to your emotional/feeling part than the thoughts.
Yes, it's usually something that someone have said, or something have we have read that scares the living s..t out of us. Someone told me that their neighbour went all truly paranoid, asking them if the person has been listening/spying on them through the TV, because he gets a bad signal. he used to be a policeman/special forces guy and aparently lost it. Of course what do I do? I start thinking that I am also paranoid, and start having thoughts that I also believe that someone is controlling my mind, even though I know it's not true, the fear is so strong it really makes me believe that it's happening. How do you stop yourself from hearing/reading negative stuff? Maybe it's about learning to accept and really truly trust yourself rather than avoidance of triggers. Hang on there, I'm with you, know how you feel :)
s.
michellemumof4
11-01-08, 13:45
Hello sweetie
I too have had these thoughts and worked with other people who have or have had them too , firstly let me say your very brave admitting to these kind of thoughts as some people just hide away from SO WELL DONE for that.
Secondly try to remember these are just thoughts I know how hard that is trust me, It is possible. These thoughts are based on and being fed by Fear nothing more, and when we develop these thoughts they become habbits, a ritual way of thinking , we wake with them sleep eat with them.
I remember one day being by the kitchen sink and the thought I was possesed came to me, so I tried to laugh it off sniggered to myself and said Oh goodie wonder if it likes cleaning bedrooms !!! and for the first time I realised I could turn this around, the thought is only scary if you let it be.
I had many many intrusive thoughts so if I can be of help pls feel free to ask or Pm me
Take care sweetie
Michelle
Thanks so much to you all for helping me with this, at times today when scared and anxious the thoughts have gone from 'what if i get possessed' to 'i am possessed', that has really scared me as it seems more positive and i'm worried if i believe it now then i still will be when the anxiety goes. Is it normal for the thoughts to change a bit like this? Also thanks Michelle for your kind words and for letting me know that you too have had this thought as i really didi think i was the only one at first and felt crazy. Best wishes, Carol.
Hello Carol,
Lots of people have similar fearful thoughts including myself but they are just thoughts of fears that will Never actually cause any harm to you so please be reassured you have nothing to actually to fear from them. These fearful thoughts are Very common so you're Not alone with this. There are lots of us who understand how they make you feel.
The 2 issues are interconnected - anxiety and fear. One triggers the other and so one stops when the other does too so nothing will happen to you.
These thoughts will always have variations swinging from one to another as the wind takes them but you've Nothing to fear as it's just your mind looking for a new way to worry about them.
We all have fears but that's all they are.:hugs:
Hi Bill
thanks for your message . it made me feel encouraged . have not worked out how to send a pm yet but would like to discuss the ocd further with you . will hopefully speak soon !
Hope
Hello Hope,
I've sent you a pm. Just follow the message to open it and you should be ok.:hugs:
hi carol
1 feel so much for you as i have had thoughts like this and i do read the tarot etc for a living and go to the spiritualist church etc so i find these kind of thoughts especially hard - so no - you are not the first to have them! the lady that said that sounds to me like the most unspiritual person ever! who would say that to someone when they had suffered all that loss and in a vulnerable emotional state - no wonder the thoughts stuck! For her to say something like that says a lot about her mental state!!!
even trance mediums who are said to actually allow spirits to take them over do not get possessed and horror films are based on fiction so don;t think of anything you have seen on tv influcence you either! this is one of the most common thoughts in anxiety - i read it in a book on ocd and they advise watching a horror film about soemthing like this until it literally bores you. i would advise that everytime the thought comes to think "ok - i'm possessed - so what" as soon as you truly accept the thought - it will become more of a nuisance than a fright and then it will start to fade. It may resurface from time to time because you have thought it so often but it will soon loose its power again.
its only like other scary thoughts like fear of harming someone or going crazy - also be aware that once you have lost the fear of this thought - a new one may take its place but soon you will be able to dismiss all such thoughts as rubbish. x
Thankyou Hope and Bill.
Bill the thoughts came after i lost both parents and a dear Aunt within 6 months of each other. I was very low and vulnerable and at my Mums funeral a religious friend of hers approached me and aske if i read the bible every day, when i told her i didn't as i wasn't overly religious she said i should as i would get possessed by demons if i didn't. That was the start of it all. Since then it has terrified me and i wonder if it happens to people or will it happen to me and immediately panic. Best wishes, Carol.
Hi Carol,
I can tell you that all your pain has originated from that one chance, irresponsible, stupid comment.
It's amazing how something like this has the capacity to terrify you when your resistance to it is so low. I can't begin to imagine how shattered you must have been at time of your mother's funeral.
I'd be willing to bet you hadn't been eating or sleeping right during those six months?
Our minds can only tolerate so much before losing their resilience.
I'll also bet that if your mum's friend had told you something like that 5 years ago you'd have struggled not to laugh out loud in her face?!? right?:yahoo:
Yet here you are - your life is tormented by that one stupid comment!!
It's all because your emotional resistance was at an all-time low - you were so susceptible to fear that you now find yourself trapped in.
I know, I feel your pain. It's so frustrating!!
The best description I've heard for how these stupid obsessions can ruin our lives is that 'intellectually we know it's irrational and has no basis in fact but (and this is the thing Carol!) EMOTIONALLY it feels SO REAL!!!
It's the ABNORMAL EMOTIONAL REACTION to a strange thought that causes the intense suffering. The secret, and the skill we must learn so that it becomes our new reaction, is to firstly understand what has caused our problem in the first place. Understanding can remove some of the fear. It won't take it all away, not immediately, but it will allow us to overcome in due course.
Don't get we wrong - IT'S BLOODY DIFFICULT!!!! As I write I am currently not enjoying the most relaxing and contended of days, to put it mildly! But here's the thing - despite FEELING like i'm hopeless and back to square one, I KNOW i'm not that low because I understand what is happening now that I've learned how simply these thought and reaction patterns can become ingrained.
Before it was a mystery to me.
When I read your post I could have cried because I could have written your post for myself and my own experiences!
Believe me when I say that there is help out there for you and me and everyone else.
God bless,
Granty
http://www.ocdonline.com/articlephillipson1.php
Hi Carol,
Sorry if that last posted was a tad rambling! I'm at work and keep having to hide the screen when someone walks past! (I don't want everyone to know I'm a nutter!!)
Please take a look at the link I've posted - it makes quite a bit of sense.
P.S. please don't be offended about the 'nutter' comment - I try to make as light of my problem as I can :-)
P.P.S - Do a google search for Claire Weekes if you aren't aware of her work already. Go to Amazon.co.uk and read the feedback people have left for her books. Claire Weekes helped me get my life back two years ago - I still have blips from time to time (like now!!) but compared to before - it really is night and day.
I was going to finish by saying 'Be Strong' but you obviously are - to have gone through what you did in those 6 months and to come out the other side, albeit a touch fragile and frightened - must have taken great courage.
Feel free to PM me if you would like a copy of a good e-book I have regarding anxiety in general.
Cheers,
Granty
I just want to say thank you to the people who posted their replies on this thread eventhough I didnt start it.It has really helped me so much.I have been having similar thoughts and really thought "there was something in me".like something bad/ negative,or I had contracted negative energy.These thoughts would roll around in my head and make me panic.
Not throwing bouquets at myself but I am kind and softhearted and couldnt figure what was going on.
thanks to you guys & NMP once more,
Bet :hugs:
Hi Bet,
Glad you found some peace of mind here. :yesyes:
From my own perspective I think half the battle when dealing with these horrible thoughts is to realise that because we have them it doesn't mean the thing we fear is actually going to happen or that we're bad people. However I also know from personal experience that sometimes it can be almost impossible to convince yourself you're not a bad person or there's something wrong with you making you have these intrusive worries/thoughts/images.
Please notice above I said ALMOST impossible!! It can be done!!
I have found that this is where the work of Claire Weekes really helped me. Firstly, she was the first (and only person to this day) who really offered an explanation for my symptoms that I totally connected with. I would say it was my 'Eureka' moment! When suddenly everything seemed so simple!
The relief I obtained from reading her work was amazing. Don't get me wrong - I still have bad days where I wish it would 'all just go away' but these don't trouble me so much as they used to since Claire also tells you to expect these - in fact she tells you to try and welcome the bad days as they give you an opportunity to remind yourself of the cause of it all and how to pull yourself out of a 'blip' by putting into practice the methods she teaches.
I find that my blips are only every so often now and only last maybe a day or two at their worst. Previously I could be down for an entire week then would spend the next week worrying about the next downer whereas now I just try to accept the blips and when they pass (AND THEY ALWAYS DO!!!) I find myself feeling glad to be alive and being able to enjoy life the way I used too and not worrying too much about the next blip.
Funny thing, when you worry less about the next 'blip' the time between them becomes longer! This is the goal I think we should all have and it takes time and practice and perhaps many 'blips' but it is definitely the way for me!!
As Claire so eloquently puts it: "you know the way out so well that you no longer fear the way in"
Also, sometimes finding out that you're not the only one who's going through it can be a relief in itself.
Take care,
Granty
:D
Thanks Granty,
For ages I was going around really scared to say anything to anyone about these thoughts.I put alot of it down to my catholic upbringing/schooling.Catholicism was very strong in Southern ireland when I was growing up.
I certainly dont mean to cause offence to any Catholics anywhere I'm just giving my opinion.
bet x
I just want to say thank you to the people who posted their replies on this thread eventhough I didnt start it.It has really helped me so much.I have been having similar thoughts and really thought "there was something in me".like something bad/ negative,or I had contracted negative energy.These thoughts would roll around in my head and make me panic.
Not throwing bouquets at myself but I am kind and softhearted and couldnt figure what was going on.
thanks to you guys & NMP once more,
Bet :hugs:
Hi Bet
God this all sounds so familiar doesn't it!! phew :yahoo: at last there may be an answer...
Carol, don't even entertain the 'spiritual' aspect or advice that some have posted, been there done that, there is no answer there, only more anxiety, especially considering your anxiety base. I am not disagreeing that it may work for some, but since I am similar to you in my fear/anxiety base, I know it will cause you more pain. That was really dumb of that woman to say that, some people are idiots and you have to make allowances for that.. :mad:
Granty, what you posted is really helpful... thank you :hugs:
Hi Tina,
Thanks, it's good to know that each of us has our own experiences from which we've learned how to cope and that we can maybe give others some relief or comfort from their own difficulties by sharing on here.
It never ceases to amaze me how a slightly different point of view or perspective can be so helpful at times!
Cheers,
Granty
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