Why cant I trust the doctor, eben though he has 20 odd years of exp. (re lump on jaw)

[breeze25]

A few week before xmas I found a lump on my jaw area (near the back) I made an appointment and was see by a locum who said that as I noticed it about the same time as I had a cold, it was probably a swollen lymph node and should go down in a few days (although she did say it could take up to 6 weeks to go down), I was told to come back after xmas if it had not gone down, it hasn't so I went back last week, could not see my usual doctor, but I did see the older doctor knowing no history about my HA he said it feels like a reactive lymph node and it could take months to go down and nothing to worry about unless it gets bigger or I start to feel unwell.

The trouble is I came away feeling better and reassured, but now a few days later I feeling all panicky again, I mist feel it 50 times a day, I have started to feel unwell, but I sure its the anxiety and I know that thinking about an area your brain muddles up and makes the symptoms worse, I know all this, yet I cant relax and feel as though I am a few weeks away from a .. you have ** months to live chat. Writing this I know how crazy it sounds and tomorrow I might feel differerent, but right now it feels so real.

[bex.d]

Sorry to hear your not feeling too good, I know how hard it is too believe what a doctor says sometimes ( well most of the time) and i think you answered the question yourself by saying the anxiety is making it worse and making you feel ill, try and do some relaxation exercises and try to think posotive, easier said than done i know but you will get through this and feel better soon i promise! xxxxx:hugs:

[countrygirl]

I find that having a plan in place can help enormously with my health anxiety. So for example if I was you I would say okay if after 6 weeks I still ahve this node then I will go back to the Dr and ask for investigations. Or if before then the node gets bigger and I am only allowed to feel it once a day or get a fever then I will go back and ask for investigations.

See if this helps you.

[panicagain]

I wish i could give you advice on how to get over this but i just wanted to chime in to let you know your not alone on this, i'm the exact same way, even when they do tests like an ekg, i get the results and feel relieved but later i start thinking maybe the test was wrong or something and i'm sure there is something they missed. Sorry your going through this:hugs:

[linzi]

i fully understand what you are going through as i have just been through the exact same.i have a swollen lymph node.i was told and told by doctors that it was of normal size and would go down in a couple of weeks.well it didnt and my HA got worse and worse.luckily for me my doctor referred me to the hospital and i had a biopsy and it did turn out to be a reactive node.i know mine is 100% ok ,the reason im telling you is because mine is still there coming up to 3 months.so the can remain for some time after an infection.
please try not to worry,i worried myself stupid and my doctor was right in the end and im sure yours is too.
please feel free to pm me if you want to chat
linzi xxx

[breeze25]

well today I woke up and it felt much bigger, I freaked out all morning and then this afternoon while I was waiting in a queue I felt it again and it felt really small again, I think something in my head clicked and it was like "Sort yourself out" so I noticed that the lump does move slightly and when its on the jaw line it feels bigger and when its just under it feels smaller, so going to try not to panic, doing well so far.

[linzi]

my consultant told me that if it moves its a really good sign.xx

[breeze25]

thanks Linzi that makes me feel much better. xx

[jacq]

Hi all, Iv'e got this lump as well and have had for more than 15 years. I vividly remember the first time i felt it, i was sitting at work with my head resting on my hands when i felt something move underneath my fingers under my jaw. It is safe to say i nearly messed myself and spent the rest of the day asking all my work mates to have a feel and did they think it was cancerous. As soon as the doctors surgery was open i was at the desk begging the seceratary for the first appointment as i was seriously ill, only for the doctor to take one look and say it was a swollen lymph gland. - What a let down!! and to top it off he didn't even want to see me again to check it as i had no other symptoms and didn't feel unwell. Over the years i have seen the doctor numerous times about this, sometimes the lymph has been huge and visible but the prognosis is always the same. In recent years i have also had a problem with the nodes under my armpit and the doc did tests to rule out glandular fever and i have had a mamagram and scan on the area. I have now resigned myself to the fact that i have very sensitive glands that swell every time there is a hint of a bug in the air, and as i write this i can still feel a little pea sized lump under my jaw so something is on it's way, just hope it's not this virus thats going around !!!

Jacq x

[breeze25]

thanks Jacq, its reassuring to hear someone with the same thing as me. I found it pretty much the same way but at home asking my hubby to feel it every day with him thinking it was the jaw bone, I am still feeling it 20 times aday, but to be honest its much less than I was feeling it, so progress.

[celia davies]

Iwent through the same problem it lasted months,found a lump one day in the sam place as yours i kept touchin it an touchin it until i had a panic attack me poking it probbaly didnt help,so i went the doctors an they told me it was a gland i felt fine then un til a few days later then started worrying again went the doctors again an so on now a year an a half later its still there an it is just a gland so try not 2 worry because i was in the doctors every week 4 nearly 2 years xx

[colin]

Hi Mev
whenever i get a new symptom or fear i always go back to this...it's from another site but i think it's so true.

"THERE IS NOTHING DEEP SEATED TO BE SEARCHING FOR!"

If you are recently sensitized from having an experience of anxiety and panic feelings, you most likely will have a foundation belief that, "something is wrong with me!" This seems to be an automatic reaction to feelings of fear that are not immediately resolvable. This can become your basis for approaching nearly every stressful moment of introspection that occurs in your life. It is this belief that conditions every reaction you now have. It keeps your anxiety alert while you search in frustration for the answer - comparing, checking, testing, analyzing. It makes you miserable and you feel trapped.

For example: If I were NOT recently sensitized to anxiety or panic, and I noticed some new twitching in my leg, I would wonder what it was for a moment. If the twitching continued or returned, I might get more concerned. But generally my focus on it would not be considered important or life threatening and I would probably let go of the worrying about it.

Now, if I WERE recently sensitized, my quick assessment about this twitching* would go something like this: "I wonder if that will make me anxious because there is something (unknown and unfound) wrong with me (that makes me anxious)?" This self talk is nearly subconscious but you can catch it happening as your first thought that begins the introspective reaction, even as your first, fresh thought when you wake up in the morning!

(*You can substitute any feeling or situation that causes you stress.)

By this self-talk you are attempting to seek control and test for it. This happens so fast and automatic that most of the time we are never aware of it, only the anxious reaction arrives seemingly "out of the blue!" Of course you want to experience NO reaction to your "test", but guess what? Because of the foundation belief of "something is wrong with me" which you have deemed LIFE THREATENING or at least threatening your sanity, your autonomic nervous system which is controlled by the instinctive part of your brain - reacts! It sends a warning - a shot of adrenaline to gear up your body to run. It wants to protect you - your eyes blur, your heart pumps faster, your muscles clench, your stomach and GI tract are disrupted, your blood pressure rises, you feel giddy, nauseous. Perhaps to all different degrees, or only some of these symptoms, but you feel it!

Now you might make a further assumption that this reaction "proves" that something is wrong with your mental state. You made a "test" and the test failed because you still reacted, anxiously...and you certainly didn't like it. Yet it is still there, in the back of your mind, that issue - that unresolved question: "What is wrong with me?"

But this is based on a false and irrational assumption!

If you can catch yourself in the act of querying your "state of mental health" you can contest it with a proper and rational counter thought or substitution. You can answer with: "Hey wait! That twitching is just a common twitch. I am sensitize to stress these days. That is ALL that is WRONG with me!" Then move on. Let it go. Quit the introspection as to why you react to these minor stresses. You will have resolved it. There is nothing WRONG with you. Nothing SIGNIFICANTLY wrong other than that you are sensitive to some recent stressors.

Can you accept that? THERE IS NOTHING DEEP SEATED TO BE SEARCHING FOR when simple worrying becomes anxiety or even panic! You only THINK that there must be. You can search for decades. You are only fooled into believing that your current sensitivity must be significant and warrant deep introspection to find the answer as to why! It just "must be" something BIG, something so important that you just can't find unless you look deeper and deeper! And you are doing exactly the wrong thing. You are creating the exact tension from your excessive worrying that you so much despise!

If you can practice letting these overreactions to stress come AND GO, with an occassional challenge of rational thinking, the resolution will decrease these reactions over time and you should feel much less anxious. You will have diffused the "mentally ill" bomb that you assumed was near to blowing up. It never blows because there is really NO BOMB!

The "something is wrong with me" belief is a very powerful but false assumption. But if you believe it to be true you will feel trapped inside because it is steeped in conflict that has no direction or way out. It's frustrating...but we all do it. Perhaps you can find some physical trigger that sets off your anxiety then you might resolve the "why do I feel anxious" question. But most of the time it is our currently sensitized state of mind and that's all. So now you can handle a stressful event knowing that you are NOT losing your sanity. Does that make you feel better?

[PUGLETMUM]

colin, that is a brilliant post!:yesyes: this year i have been sensitised by anxiety again, and ive had two small health issues both of which left me worrying. the second one was less severe because my anxiety has gone down over the year, but i had the norovirus and the day after my chest and ribcage felt sore and 'tight' my first reaction was ' is this pnuemonia'! how crazy? so i just started to challenge this thought - 'nobody else has pnuemonia, so why should i have it? all the wretching and heaving have put strain on my muscles all around my chest and abdomen, and what are the chances of someone my age having pnemonia? so this helped, but then i would remind myself of the actress out of four weddings and a funeral who died of pnuemonia andshe was only around my age, but again i just was aware of why i have these thoughts and i could gently but firmly deal with them.

we also have a problem dealing with uncertainty, which is why when weve been reassured the worries still keep coming, and like colin said they come much quicker if you are highly anxious to start with. we have to accept the worst outcome first because the thing is we cant escape sickness and death - we can live healthily but ultimately you will be sick at some point in your life and eventually you will die.so you might as well as make the most ofthe time youve got while you actually are healthy? i think dealing with these fears helps to stop the worrying and give you your life back to enjoy.