ginnungagap
09-01-08, 16:33
First real post about my own experiences, and I hope you'll forgive the banter - but sometimes after having an attack I feel so overwhelmed and/or crackers (?!) that taking over a phone or face to face with friends just isn't an option. Typing is much safer!!
I just got back from shopping in town about an hour ago, after having one of the strongest attacks so far for a few months. I hadn't been feeling particularly anxious about anything, although I was rushing about a bit as town seemed pretty hectic (people everywhere, erk) and I was competing with a gale-force head wind.
Anyway, I'd got most done and headed into the last shop for some householdy bits n bobs. I go there quite often (not sure if I will again for a bit) and was fine until I reached the checkout queue. There were only maybe 4 people in front of me, but I could hear something buzzing above me on the ceiling and I become very aware of the tills beeping and assistants chattering. Suddenly just then the lighting in the store seemed to go all strange and before I knew it, I could barely breathe. I was starting to shake and look around me nervously (sure everyone was looking back and thought I was mad, but you can never quite tell..) and my whole vision sort of "melted" - a bit as if you'd put a watercolour painting out in the rain. I got the whole detachment thing quite suddenly and became so petrified, I had to hobble forward, push someone out of the way, leave my stuff on the till, and I literally RAN out of the place.
So it's been about an hour now just over, I feel mentally and physically wiped out, and really quite the village idiot lol.
Maybe just maybe one day I'll get a handle on myself and stop this from occuring, it really does limit me from doing a lot of stuff because of the fear it happening. They're not always this bad/strong but I'd give this one a good 9/10.
I just got back from shopping in town about an hour ago, after having one of the strongest attacks so far for a few months. I hadn't been feeling particularly anxious about anything, although I was rushing about a bit as town seemed pretty hectic (people everywhere, erk) and I was competing with a gale-force head wind.
Anyway, I'd got most done and headed into the last shop for some householdy bits n bobs. I go there quite often (not sure if I will again for a bit) and was fine until I reached the checkout queue. There were only maybe 4 people in front of me, but I could hear something buzzing above me on the ceiling and I become very aware of the tills beeping and assistants chattering. Suddenly just then the lighting in the store seemed to go all strange and before I knew it, I could barely breathe. I was starting to shake and look around me nervously (sure everyone was looking back and thought I was mad, but you can never quite tell..) and my whole vision sort of "melted" - a bit as if you'd put a watercolour painting out in the rain. I got the whole detachment thing quite suddenly and became so petrified, I had to hobble forward, push someone out of the way, leave my stuff on the till, and I literally RAN out of the place.
So it's been about an hour now just over, I feel mentally and physically wiped out, and really quite the village idiot lol.
Maybe just maybe one day I'll get a handle on myself and stop this from occuring, it really does limit me from doing a lot of stuff because of the fear it happening. They're not always this bad/strong but I'd give this one a good 9/10.