Solutions to a difficult problem??

[Johnalexander20]

Hi everyone, since I have started to experience Anxiety/depression a lot of friends and family members have open up on the subject. Especially my mother who is worring about the whole situation. I am struggling to find the right words for her as everything I am trying to explain she reacts by worring and getting upset. Is it better just to talk about anything else? Does it become less painfull.

[PUGLETMUM]

not sure of your exact circumstances but yes people can be very very upset by this, the problem is they are usually the sort of people who dont go in for 'soul-searching' so your problems can make them intensely uncomfortable?also parents get really upset because they are powerless to change the situation and may in some situations blame themselves? i think the best thing is to explain it well, but not to expect understanding or sympathy because you wont always get it and then you feel let-down, which is unhelpful. people do care, but they just cant understand.you imagine a woman saying to you 'i want you to understand how having a period or a baby feels' you wouldnt be able to do it would you, so it wouldnt make her experience any easier. but if she discusses this with a whole bunch of women then she will almost definately get similar experiences to her own. i have never known another person to experience what i do in my own life, but then on-line there are thousands, hopefully that knowledge can help you in some way? emma

[sagey]

Hi John, I expect your Mum is quite alarmed at what she thinks you are going through and is more than likely keen to help in any way she can. I know I'd move heaven and earth to help one of my kids if they were having a difficult time. Can you find some helpful literature for her so she can get some outline understanding of your problem? Could you perhaps show her this site so that she could get a feeling for what goes on in this world?
I'm sure that it would become less painful with understanding and she may feel empowered in having tools to support you. Good luck, Sagey.

[Franz]

Hi there. It's awful that when you're going through anxiety and depression, you have the additional guilt about how it's affecting your parents. But that's how it is :\ I have often felt I should be "strong" and not let on to my parents how bad I was feeling, but it was difficult as I didn't have a partner or close friends I could confide in. My dad once said, "Always promise me that you'll phone if you need to", even though I know how much it upset him when I did. And he also said he felt powerless to help, but I told him that the fact that he listened to me and was there for me was everything. I think that made him feel a little better.

There's no magic wand you can wave to stop your parents' worries, any more than you can wave one at your own. You can reassure them that you're doing everything to tackle your problems, for their sake as well as your own. At the end of the day I said to myself that I HAVE to do everything I can to get better because it distresses ME to see my parents upset.

[Meewah]

Hi John

Another cyclic event. My mother is a worrier. I speak only to my sister about my anx. I worry that burdening my friends and family with my problems is counter productive. Unsure if this is a good idea. It feels like I am a black hole, that sucks everyone in to my way of thinking. Its wierd lifes journey never boring always full of surprises.

Started running again yet? Exercise is meant to be a good outlet for all that adrenalin that is produced. Me neither, sorry for being presumptuous, may be thats it get back to what our bodies know is normal.

Mee

[Johnalexander20]

I think I here the quote "one small step for man" in my ear, I'm a long way off putting on my skins and shoes but I'm going to work on getting there.