Sexual phobia

[yorkylover]

I was just wondering if there was anyone else who had or has a sexual phobia.

I used to have a sexual phobia but through counselling and a very supportive partner I worked through it.

Mine started when I had to have an internal examination at 14,it terrifyed me.And caused me to have alot of problems and issues.It took me until my 30s to get over it but I did.If there is anyone out there with the same issues it can be sorted out,there is alight at the end of the tunnel.

Im still scared of examinations,but I have managed to have a proper relationship with my partner.:yesyes: :yesyes: :yesyes: :yesyes:

[ScardeyCat]

Yep, I did after something that happened to me when I was younger and having a very bad relationship prior to the one I'm in now, but have worked through things now with therapy and having a loving and understanding boyfriend :)

Never thought I'd get past it but am nearly sorted now! I highly recommend CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) it has helped me with this and with sooo many other problems. Well worth making myself skint for lol.

xx

[yorkylover]

well done scardeycat:yesyes: :yesyes: I thought I was the only one.

Actually apart from my mum and better half no one knew about this until now.:hugs:

[samc100]

Sometimes Ellen you really run yourself down when in fact you have over come some incrediably hard hurdles in your life. You continue to amaze me in how strong you are.

Just sending you a hug cos' I'm sorry you had to deal with all this. But really glad you and your partner have 'special cuddles!"

[yorkylover]

Thank you Sam for that post,it was very nice of you.:hugs:

Its not something I have really talked about.In fact its embarrassing.I met Richard at 16 and couldnt have a full sexual relation ship untill I was about 34.Its something I used to keep bottled up.

Thanks to nomorepanic and all the great people here I have felt able to share my experience,and open up.I hoped if anyone else had gone through similar they could join me.:yesyes:

[Deadgirl]

i had the same thing, i am over sexual phobia now, mostly because of my boyfriend, but i cant go for an internal examination, when i get smear test letters i just throw them away, i know how important they are but i still cannot face it.

[yorkylover]

Hi deadgirl,I know exactly how you feel.I have been the same.Im 41 and went for my first smear last week.I was terrified.I managed to relax a bit,and the doctor got in there ok,but couldnt do the smear as my cervix opening was at the back.Had to happen to me!!!!:weep:
She also did an internal examination.I wouldnt say it hurt just achey.The more relaxed you can be the better.I used to throw my smear letters away as well.

Believe me I can relate to you.Well done on getting over the sexual phobia,you must have a loving, caring partner like me.:yesyes: :yesyes:

[bottleblond]

Hiya Ellen,

The last time i went for my smear text was at my 6wk check after giving birth to my son and that was 9 years ago now. The birth was a nightmare and i ended up being ripped from one end to the other, i spent at least two hours being stitched because is wasn't a straight tear and they also had to stitch up little veins inside! lol sounds foul!!

I wouldn't say i had a sex phobia but i certainly don't like the thought of examinations.

p.s well done on managing your smear, you did well hun! :yesyes:

Love Lisa
xxx

[panicagain]

I've had similar problems, i met my hubby at 14yrs and i'm so glad he was head over heals for me cuz if he wasn't we would've never got married or stayed married for over 16yrs. He's not very patient or loving when it comes to my health anxiety but when it comes to the other he's Very understanding and i haven't completely got over it yet so poor guy still has to deal with it. I'm not sure but i think my issues come from way back when i was a little girl, i think i was 8yrs and my mums live in boyfriend used to do things that were not appropriate to do to an 8yr old.
I'm so happy that you've over came your phobia:hugs:

[yorkylover]

Im so sorry to hear about your problems Lisa and panic again.I can fully understand your fears.
Thanks for coming here and sharing it.It took alot for me to open up here,but Im glad I did.And Im sure its hard for you and others as well.:hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

[aurora smith]

hello!

i'm new here in this forum and i'm really really happy. this is the first time i've ever read anyone speaking so honestly about sexual phobia. normally, what you find when you type it on the net is just a phobia dictionary or some wikipedia definition. anyway, i have sexual phobia, very strong one. i'm 23 and i could never engage in any serious love/sex situation. i've never even kissed properly. the times i was kissing someone i just felt very strong fear of being raped. so i would just leave as fast as i could. i also had never really fallen in love until this year. it was the first time i was flerting with someone and i was a hundred per cent honest about my fellings. but as it got more serious, i just backed off. but, anyway, it was very important for me. many people might say it was a platonic thing, but not for me. i think that im just begining to deal with sexual attraction with less anxiety than before. i look in the eyes of the guys who come to me and, sometimes, even respond to their flert. that takes me lots of courage. i think im starting to overcome it.

[yorkylover]

Thats good news aurora,I had some counselling,but it the end it was all down to me.A loving understanding partner is a must to help you feel safe,comfortable and relaxed.
Im so pleased to hear you are overcoming your problem.

I have this fear of being around strange men,I dont know why as I have never been abused or anything.But for some reason they make me very nervouse unless I know them well.:hugs:

There is a name for this phobia GENOPHOBIA.
I didn't know this and was so pleased to hear it had a name and was listed in phobias,and not all in my mind.

[milly jones]

hi

thanks for the post hunny

ive had difficulties all my life.

mill x

[TidusRawlings]

Hi All

I Posted On The Forums A Few Weeks Ago As Since Taking My Meds I Have Had A Problem Of Premature Ejaculation, And Since Splitting Up With My Ex Girlfriend Who Was Very Supportive I Have Been To Scared To Do Anything With Anyone New As I Dont Want To Let Them Down. Alot Of People Gave Me Some very Good Reply's But I Am Still Really Worried

[yorkylover]

Hi Tidusrawlings,worrying will make things worse for you.Im sure everything will be ok.Try and explain to your new partner,or if you are really unhappy go back to your gp and have the meds changed.Sometimes these things happen when you start news meds,but if it continues aske to have them changed.:hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

[bluesparkle]

well i was glad to read this post. . .
i have just started counselling for some other issues and this has come up. . . and due to a past experiance when i was 17(am 40 now) i too have this phobia.i just thought i was odd!
i am not currently in a relationship and have a few things to work out. . . but i know one day i will be able to have a "normal" relationship.
you lot on here are great i should have known i wouldnt be alone. . .
and well done ellen for starting this post as im sure it will help others.
rach
x

[yorkylover]

Rach Im sure things will get better for you.Im so pleased Im not alone as well.:bighug1: :bighug1:

[aurora smith]

hello everyone!
thank you very much for your kind words!
=)