guilty!!!

[sue447]

hi everyone
im so fed up, ifeel awful that i cant even go up to my sons school to take him or pick him up ,i havent been up there for a couple of months, my daughter has to take him, hes 7 shes 10, i think its affecting him a little cause he keeps crying and sais he dont want to go, he does this nearly every day, the reason i wont go is because every time i used to get by the school gates id have a panic attack, and its really scared me into not going, now my son sais he wants my daughter to take him and bring him home [he dosent know about me as i hide it] i do walk so far and meet them, which is stupid, cause the school is only a 10 min walk, i havent got any freinds up the school, only people i say hiya to
can anyone relate sue:(

[sammy]

Hi I have been there you get to the gates the whole panic thing starts, is there a way of going but being able to leave when you want so you are more in control.

[sue447]

hi sammy,
its because im away from my home, i feel insecure, and then i panic and now im to worried incase i panic.

regards sue

[vernon]

Hi Sue. I have been real bad with agrophobia too, but you must keep trying, its not the place that gives you panic its inside you. Mabe you should try and go a few yards before the gate for a while asnd over time go a little closer but not to the gate? I have suffered this and its very hard, My wife was in hospital having our last child when i had it bad and i was at the irth of all my kids and felt so bad that i might not get to be with her on my last. Well my sister came for me and took me and i did make it but i did realy panic and felt so bad, I realy dont know why i didnt pass out with the feelings. But these things realy have to be done or we just feel guilty for not going and that also keeps the anxiety alive. You will get better and better if u keep trying even a little at a time, but it is slow hard work. I also found a book called Essential Help for your nerves by Claire Weekes realy helped me its a 400 page book but well broke up and easy to read. I read a little every night before settling down and this realy helped me. hope some of this has been of some help to you. Take Care. Vernon

[sue447]

hi vernon
thanks for reply, i do go to work, even though i feel jittery most of the time im there, i just cant seem to go up the school,wierd aint i sue

[vernon]

no sue its not weired thats normal with agrophobia I can go some places and not others. Its becouse it was at the gate you got a Panic attack and your mind tells you you will have another there? try that book its great. Take care. Vernon

[sal]

Hi Sue

Once a panic attack happens in a certain place it can trigger attack just thinking of that place. In your mind now you will associate the school gates with panic and not been in control.

Have you tried when you dont have to pick your son up during the day walking a bit further everytime to the school gates and see how you get on. If you do panic which is horrible you wont be having to wait to pick your son up and can leave or turn back if you feel uncomfortable.


Lots of Love Sal xxxxx

[Meg]

Sue

The only way through this is to slowly introduce doing that whole walk to the school gates yourself.

As has already bene mentioned - it has nothing to do with school at all but how you view it and what you say to yourself internally as you make that trip.

You need to change this internal dialogue to comfort, reassure and persuade yourself and slowly get closer and closer to the school rather than talking up what did happen there previously and that you're probably going to panic and how awful it is etc.

You can do this... 1 step each time





Meg
www.overcominganxiety.co.uk
You cannot conquer fear until you have learned what it is you're afraid of. The enemy is ignorance. Vivian Vance

[lainey]

Hi Sue

I always used to have an attack in S ainsbury's, it would put the fear of god into me having to go shopping, so I started just doing little shops. Took me 6 months to use a big trolley again and still don't like them. So try little steps a nd set yourself some goals and you will feel so much better and before you know it you'll be at the school gate feeling very proud.

Take care

Elaine x

[nomorepanic]

Hi Sue

Try going to the school when you don't have to - i.e. at the weekend. Wander up there and just see how it feels then.

It is fear breeding fear so by avoiding you are making it stronger I am afraid.

Stick at it ok?

Nicola

[stimpy]

Yep.

It is very difficult to cope with agrophobia and the school run.

I think it is an excellent start that you are able to walk part of the journey to meet them.

It is horrible when you don't really know anyone, and you find the whole playground area opressive.

Every day try to walk just a few steps more.
It takes a lot of practice, but eventually you will get there.

Love, light and Best wishes
Liz xxx
With hard work and determination and all the things you know.
The world is there for you to take. There's nowhere you can't go.


[:p]Scatty Eccentric & 'Poet Laureate to panic and anxiety'

[sue447]

thanks for your replys guys, i will try and go up the school, in stages as suggested luv sue

[jude]

Hi Sue,

I had this very same problem. Every morning and every home time.
I didnt have anyone else that I could ask to take them for me.. Believe me I would have jumped at the chance if I could of!

Try thinking of it this way.....
Ok so you had a panic attack every time you went there. BUT it didnt hurt you or kill you or make you insane...it was just very uncomfortable for a while.
I know it sounds cruel, but the best way to get over this is to keep doing it, feel the panic and realise it isnt going to do anything to you. Then you will lose the fear of it and it will disappear.
You may find this too difficult and too scary. I, fortunately for me in the long run, didnt have a choice. I either took them or they stayed home.
So I went through this every day, twice a day until I realised it was JUST PANIC. Nothing else!!!!!
Some people will strongly disagree with me here, you may also. But it worked for me because it had too. I felt like running home many a time, but couldnt bear the thought of the embarassment, so I painted a smile on my face and carried on. Good luck with whichever way you choose to conquer it.
Jude x