Bit anxious

[Lilith1980]

Hi all,

Just need to a bit of advice/support.

I'm due to be meeting up with a friend tonight, well....I met her via an online friendship site. We met in July/August last year for the first time and havent seen each other since.

So we finally arranged to meet today, and I am getting more and more nervous as the day goes on.

I'm worried about how the conversation will go as it was a bit awkward last time, although not sure if that was nerves. I'm not really sure if we have much in common, I'm just getting myself into a state.

Also paranoid cos I'm sure my b/f will find mates to go out with - nothing wrong with that I know - but I always become anxious when he goes out alone as I worry about what he's doing/who he's speaking too and whether this is "the night" that my worst fears will come true and he will ditch me for someone else.

I know it sounds far-fetched but that is how I feel. This in turn makes it hard for me to relax as I end up just wanting to leave and be with my b/f again to make sure he's not found someone else :wacko:

I also feel bad (god knows why) for going out on my own. Thing is, I only know his mates so if he wants to go out with them alone, I have no choice but to stay in as I have no one else to meet up with. So this is my chance to make my own friends.

I'm just feeling a bit sick in the stomach. I know I have to do this. I mean, so what if the conversation doesnt flow and it turns out we really dont have much in common. Its not the end of the world. Arrgggh!! :wacko:

xxxxx

[GemmaAnn]

Hey Lilith ... you just described a dilemma I had not long ago!

I also felt guilty for going out on my own with the 1 friend I had that my bf didnt know. I felt bad that I was leaving him on his own, even though I knew he didnt mind. I also feared he would go out with his mates and find another girl. There really is no other way to calm that fear other than to just have faith in your bf and your relationship. And remember that our worst fears very rarely come true and theres probably no basis to your fear that he will find someone else!

Mates are the most important things we have, they are the family we choose and if anything ever goes wrong you know you can rely on them! For that reason it would be very good for you to go out and make friends of your own that you can meet up with when your feeling low. Think back to when you talk online, what you chatted about and what she said she was interested in and talk about those things.
I used to get very nervous about going out without my bf, but the more you do it and try not to worry the easier it gets!

Good luck, go out, have fun and let us know how it went!!

xx

[chalky]

Hi Lilith,
Forgive me but you seem to be looking at this evening as some type of "job interview".
The reality is that you are meeting with someone with whom you have shared a friendly relationship for a year.
It is obvious that this person values your company-or else you would not be meeting.
Your meeting tonite is a positive move on both your parts.It is an event to be enjoyed not endured.
Have a blast!
Best wishes,
Chalky

[Lilith1980]

Thanks for your replies guys :)

Gemma Ann - you are totally right, I need to relax and have more faith in the relationship. I also know that the more I do this, the more relaxed with it I will become.

Chalky - I know, I am far too serious-a person aren't I! I am getting myself too worked up about it. Just need to relax and chill out! It just comes down to self-worth and me worrying about saying something wrong/being too boring etc.

Thanks for talking sense to me though, both of you :)

xxxxx

[Lilith1980]

Well just to let you know that I had a really nice evening, we had a good old chin wag and I really relaxed. I wasnt a nervous wreck like I thought I would be :D

The girl I met siad she'd have to indtroduce me to another friend she'd met via the same online site and we'd have to all go out together which is cool :)

Its never as bad as you imagine it to be!! xxxxx

[SammiB]

Hey lil,

i am so pleased to here that you had a great time. its great when you can really laugh at yourself for being so anxious before.

i think its great to meet up with new friends but i can never find one just for friendship.

again glad everything went well, good luck for next time.

xxxx

[Paddington]

so glad you had a good time lileth:hugs: i know part of the problem is the trust thingy..oh boy we know about that one hey hun:wacko: I think the more you have a life outside your bf..the better you will be hun:flowers: now i just have to take my own advice:huh: Love Paddie.xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[GemmaAnn]

Hey, Grats on getting the courage to go and do it!!
So glad you had a good time :)

hopefully next time you will find it easier!

gem xx