moaning and self pity

[matt1981]

I have been doing this recently and it really annoys me because I dont want to be like that. I have nothing to complain about really. Does anyone else get like this?

[chalky]

Hi Matt,

Moaning and self-pity are human emotions of value.It is entirely normal that you experience them along with other emotions. The fact that you recognize them and the discomfort they cause you is an important part of dealing with them.
From time to time,I am quite susceptible to having a pity party-"Woe is me/Life is so unfair!".
Distract yourself but do not dwell on this.
This too shall pass.
Best wishes,
Chalky

[PUGLETMUM]

hi matt, i agree it is normal, but i think it is good that you dont want to indulge in it, because it makes you worse long term, if you have nothing to be unhappy about its probably negative thinking which isnt helpful.

do you feel its wrong because you compare yourself to other people who are suffering more, or do you just 'think' its a selfish,bad thing to do?

[Lilith1980]

I've been there too, feeling like the world is against me and "Its so unfair".

I think its normal to get like this when you feel low, but I agree with the others that its best not to dwell on it because if you keep feeding your negative state of mind, it will prevent you from pulling yourself out of the low feelings. xxxxx

[MessedUp]

I had to learn the hard way a few years back.. that moaning and complaining achieves absolutely nothing. No-one wants to hear it! Even people who care don't want to hear it. It drags you down, it drags everyone down.
So although I thought I was letting off steam and people should have given me some sympathy, I realised I was wasting my time and resolved not to do it any more. If I really need to make a point about something crummy where I feel a change is possible, I find a way to bring up the subject without saying how lousy the current situation is. Or I wait and bide my time until someone else moans about it!

Basically it's a cry for attention, a need to communicate. There are better ways to start that off that don't alienate people.

cheers, and moan here if you like.. we'll listen! :D