Anyone made a major life change due to Anx?

[Meewah]

Hi Everyone

I wondered if anyone took the bull by the horns when they were first fightened by anxiety symptoms? What I mean by this is, did anyone move location, may be from the city to the country. Career change? etc..
I would be interested if anyone did and how did it affect you and your family?

The reason for asking is that I cant help feeling that the anxiety I am feeling reduces when I am away from home, with or without the family. I have discussed it with my partner, moving in to the country but close to a tight knitt community and starting a new life. The only thing that worries me is that I am running away from my problems and it may not make things better but actually worse as I would be away from our parents and relatives (support network). Some people say they changed careers and it made a profound difference to there quality of life and happiness. Am I just wanting to bury my head in the sand and hope it all goes away or could a major life change, e.g. Career change,house in the country, living abroad etc.., be just what the doctor ordered?

Comments please.

Mee

[Bill]

Hello Mee,

I think it partly depends on what's causing the anxiety.

If the anxiety is caused by our past and so within our thoughts, then the anxiety will follow us wherever we go. Even with a phobia etc.

However, if the anxiety is being caused by our situation, where we live, the job we're doing etc then yes, by making changes to our lifestyle our stress will be lowered and so will our anxiety because we'll feel happier.

In my own experience, my anxieties began when I was young so wherever I went, whatever job I held, the anxieties followed because the fears were always within me in my thoughts.

However, when things became too much both at home and at work, I found by easing the causes I took the pressure off me and so I felt happier. This in turn made it easier for me to tackle my other inner fears and learn to cope with them better but I found that out by accident rather than design because before I made changes I felt trapped with no escape so I had to do something before I reached a point of no return.

I think if we're not happy where we are and in what we're doing then our anxieties will feel much worse so be more difficult to cope with and yes, they may follow us but they could also then be easier to cope with if we feel happier in our new lifestyle.

[sarajane]

Bill is so right when he says that you have to find out what is the real cause of your anx.
When I was with my ex husband we built ourselves a motorhome and travelled Australia for 3 years while our girls were little. Thought it would cure me!
Well, It didn't matter what town, job or people we met, I still had my depression. It's only now that I'm learning that the people I attracted into my life including my ex husband were a major part of my depression. It's only now that I'm learning what has been causing my anx & depression, but I thought by travelling around that would cure me. How wrong was I! I'm now just starting to look inside of myself, and I've had my first great day today since I can't remember when. Mainly due to the fact that I found this site on Monday, and have found some beautiful caring people that understand. so all we can do is keep trying. Bill has great insight. Cheers mate.
and hugs to you both
SJ

[Pink Panic]

Hi Mee,

I totally agree with Bill too that you have to find the cause of your anx..... i still haven't properly identified mine.

I moved house last year and thought it would make my anx easier but hey it just followed me. My move meant that i was further away from my family which i was sure would also reduce the amount of stress for me as there always seems to be some incident going on but it didn't. I also thought that life would be easier for me as the new neighbours would know nothing of my situation where as the old ones were always enquiring as to if i was getting out etc., to my Mum :ohmy:

I'm working through my demons at the mo and hope to be able to lay them to rest at some point.

Good luck in what ever you choose to do :hugs:

Pink
x

[JennyW]

i have made big lifestyle changes in the past which have helped my anxiety. I know it will never completely go away but the changes help. I'm quite a strong person so if something is making me anxious, depressed, worried etc, then I will take action and change it.

[Allye]

Hi

I agree totally with the other posts here you need to find the root cause first. From my point of view I am going to do some fundamental changes this year. My first PA was at work due to stress which quickly escalated into GAD and depression when I became ill with anaemia. GAD at work then spread to PA at hairdressers, supermarkets etc etc.

Work is definitely the trigger. I recently had two weeks away and only had one minor PA, and virtually no GAD. Through diarising I have quickly noted that I have far less PA and GAD at weekends too.

So I have decided that quality of life is much better than ££££ - I am just training for some evening voluntary work in the charity sector and will change careers later this year. What is the point of being here if you spend ¾ year being miserable at work. I have everything I “need” (as opposed to want) and have worked out what the minimum is I need to pay my mortgage and other bills. I would rather be happy and surviving than in this terrible state with a bit of money in the bank.

The other fundamental change is that my partner and I are buying somewhere together and moving in together – which will be at the other end of the country where we have quite a few friends. We always holiday there and feel we belong there much more than where we are. I think this will help too as I am usually better when I am with him than on my own as I find I have less time to sit and analyse and worry.

[Meewah]

Hi All

Thanx for the replies. I agree Bill, as said, when I leave home either with or without my family I have reduced anxiety. To analyse where my anxiety manifests itself, I think my anxiety is multifaceted I have an eliment of Social Anxiety which exhibits itself as intense self awareness and shaking of hands. Secondly GAD as with an increased anxiety level most of the time causes me to be jumpy and concerned more about daily occurances. Thirdly and finally Health anxiety which exhibits itself as fear of anyone close to me being ill which is also a symptom of GAD and my fear of finding something wrong with myself and so I avoid checking for lumps etc...but also feel dread that something is actually wrong with me and it is life threatning.
So in answer to the question, remove some of the stressors and I can hopefully deal with the rest easier. Sometimes thoughts are triggered by certain things in your house for example, places you go daily remind you of lifes experiences. I am sure a complete change for you Bill would ease and remove many automated thoughts that are triggered visually. Males been very visual creatures learn more through sight than though thought alone. I think that is what is letting boys in school down at the moment, sorry thats another story, A CBT therapist once said anxiety is fear and stress all in one heading and it is like a bath that is continually full and when something that used to cause a little worry is introduced then the bath overflows or your stress level runeth over. (sorry about the shakespere attempt).

Reduce general stress and the body can deal with other stressors easier.

Only my view!

Mee

[Phill2]

I used to be a disabled pensioner but when I had my first panic attack (which may well have been bought on by being at home feeling useless) I did a Real Estate Course and have been working in it for 4 yrs now.
Best money I've ever earnt and we have 3 houses now.
Maybe there IS an upside?
Phill :shades:

[redjeff]

in the early days of my illness i had the overwhelming desire to live in the wilds alone,i was sensitive to noise ,lights i thought escaping would cure me, i had my family,friends around me , i didn't do it thankfully, it was the illness talking. i'd say stay safe and make little changes, mental illness in my opinion often seeks to destroy us and the people around us, i've seen it happen many times. i used to reject a lot of the advice given by professionals ,now i see a lot of it is based on experience and observation, the saying 'take of yourself 'especially applies to mental illness.

[Phill2]

It's easy for me to say now but the only way I've found to beat this thing is fight it.
If it says you can't do something you have to do it anyway.
If you let it win once it will win everytime.
I know that for those in the early stages this may well sound impossible but you CAN do it.
Phill :shades:

[Meewah]

in the early days of my illness i had the overwhelming desire to live in the wilds alone,i was sensitive to noise ,lights i thought escaping would cure me, i had my family,friends around me , i didn't do it thankfully, it was the illness talking. i'd say stay safe and make little changes, mental illness in my opinion often seeks to destroy us and the people around us, i've seen it happen many times. i used to reject a lot of the advice given by professionals ,now i see a lot of it is based on experience and observation, the saying 'take of yourself 'especially applies to mental illness.


Hi Redjeff
Interesting that you think that the words living in the wilds and destroy go together. :) How would you know if you had not tried it, May be instinct is the higher power. You could have changed for the better. I see living in the country with my family as being on holiday, removing the isolation of the city, Healthier, Living in the outdoors. When I feel especially stressed out I run to the hills and nature cures me. When living in a city, even though there is many people there too you feel very lonley. Living with nature you experience life.

Only my views.

Take Care

Mee

[sulmare]

major life changes I have tried are moving house away with just hubby and me to the west country where we knew no-one... this could possibly only heighten the isolation, especially if like me, you find working and socialising a bit scary.

You have to identify what the cause of the anxiety is, I cried and begged to move back to Surrey to be nearer family, and whilst it has helped to get me out of the house, it also makes me realise the feelings of anxiety and despair are actually internal insecurities that no matter where I go I shall carry them with me.

I have given up alcohol and caffeine and anything I think can be a stimulant to the body and hence have become better at listening to what my body needs or doesn't, for me, I don't eat after 8pm as it sends my blood sugar rocketing and then I sleep even less than I do ordinarily.

Listening to your own body and following your own counsel is often the best way forward, I believe we intuitively know what is best for us, and if we sit and reflect, we can identify what causes the pain even if we can't change it..

mental health issues, I would not wish on my worst enemy!!!

[Lexi]

I ve just quit my degree 2 yrs in which i used to love doing and worked so hard to get into ....:emot-fail:

[Meewah]

OK

Losing contact with friends and family is what bothers me. I am a naturally chatty person and will talk to most people its just I find people dont want to talk to me or if they do they put up a wall. They say conversation is 75% body language and 25% Verbal. May be I look anxious and so people feel uneasy with me, once I detect that I find it difficult to continue the small talk. May Be I just dont have the social skills to carry off making friends anymore. May be people just do not trust chatty people and feel uncomfortable.

Take care
Mee

[monique]

Yes I have made major life changes due to anxiety. I can divide my anxiety into two categories. First is the GAD. This is a collection of habitual ways I react to life in general. It does not matter what situation really. So with general anx, it actually causes more stress to start thinking about changing my whole life. I know I just have to use my tools and manage it. The other type of anx is much more acute and debilitating. It has definitely been brought on by situations - a bad marriage, a tragic death in the family, a toxic work situation. In those cases I changed the situation - left the marriage and the job, went through hell after losing a sibling to suicide.

I guess anxiety is the same as depression where they talk about endogenous depression - caused more by internal factors and reactive depression - caused more by external events.

Its not a hard and fast distinction. Someone who is already prone to anxiety or depression may be more likely to go into a more acute reaction if something difficult is happening from the outside too. I definitely think that has been the case with me. My general tendency to anxiety has made me more prone to have major acute attacks during traumatic events.

However the most useful thing has been to begin to become aware of the more subtle levels of my anxiety, to realise that what I thought of as normal is actually already at quite a high level. It is generally better to cultivate this awareness of what is going on inside than make major changes too quickly. I still feel I have a long way to go with this - it may take me the rest of my life.