Is this it?

[Juneie]

Ive tried and tried to deal with panics, anxiety, depression and agoraphobia for 20 yrs, I want out of this, I want to be a normal person. A person who can do the shopping, go out of an evening, make friends, have a life. Instead I feel im stuck with a life of hell, I have no friends, apart from my 17yr old Daughter I have no one. And what can she do? I dont want her listening to me moaning 24/7..If I talk to her about my problems enough, wont she develop my problems too? Id rather not be here, let her go live with her Dad and have a happy normal life with a parent who can give her the attention she needs. Im not going to kill myself, but I surely want to die. There is no point to my life at all. My life is just about fear, how scared am I today? How scared will I be tomorrow? Who cares anyway. Apologies to all, I just cant do this anymore.

long term panic/anxiety sufferer, add agroaphobia to that, fed up

[Tracy68]

Hiya

<b id="quote">quote:</b id="quote"><table border="0" id="quote"><tr id="quote"><td class="quote" id="quote"></td id="quote"></tr id="quote"></table id="quote">
There is no point to my life at all.

Well i think you'll find your daughter will argue that point. Sorry to hear that you are going through a rough time at the moment but it will get better. Ok maybe not tomorrow but in time it will. I think you'll find that most of us on here have gone through these feelings on numerous occassions.
Maybe by posting on here it will help and i know for certain we will all listen and give you all the support we can.
Take care
Tracy
x

[jude]

Hi Juneie,

Sorry to hear you have been suffering these problems for so long.

You will find lots of help and support here.
Have you ever joined a forum before. Discussing your problems here will really help. You will find everybody is very understanding and they are all lovely, lovely people.
You will never be critisised or judged here because we all know how you feel and how hard it is.
Maybe a fresh approach to conquering this illness may help.

There are lots of people with experience here who can recommend lots of different methods to try. Dont give up the battle to get better. Life can be so wonderful with recovery. We must try every concievable method and if they all fail, try again.
Have you had any help from the medical proffession.

Have a good read through the posts. You will be suprised at how much you can relate to.

Take care
Jude

[Karen]

Hi Juneie

Sorry that you are feeling so low. I understand how everything can get on top of you and you feel life isn't worth living. I have these thoughts a lot myself. It is important to remember though that they are just thoughts and you don't have to act on them.

Suffering with depression alone makes it very difficult to think clearly about anything, and having anxiety and panic on top just adds to the distress and feelings of hopelessness. However, this is how you feel today but it doesn't mean it has to be like this for the rest of your life. You can overcome these problems, although I know it isn't easy.

Your daughter would not be better off without you. She would miss you terribly if you weren't here anymore. I can understand you not wanting to burden her, I feel the same about my friend, who is the only person living close by who I can talk to about how I am feeling.

Try not to think about tomorrow, or even how you will be in an hour's time. Instead concentrate on doing what you can to get through the here and now. Take things an hour at a time. Coming online is a great distraction for me and perhaps you can find something which will help to distract yourself from these gloomy thoughts you are having. The constant rumination just causes to make things seem even more bleak.

We are here for you and I hope it helps that you can tell us how you are feeling and know that people understand. I value my internet friends so much, and they have helped me get through some really difficult times, and continue to do so.



Karen



It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere.

[vernon]

Hi Junneie, Welcome to the site. I too have suffered years close to 40 years, but have had good years between too. I used alcohol to hide my anxietys and fears for 40 years daily and heavy and then stopped drinking 14 months ago. for months after stopping i realy went downhill and realy bad but it is getting better now. You are not moaning at your daughter I am sure she feels needed and usefull to be able to help her mum? and I am sure she needs her Mum like her mum needs her. Well I am so sorry to hear how you are feeling now I feel like this lots but will not give in and I am going to get better (even though its hard to think this way at times when we are realy bad) I have realised now If I can stop Drinking after 40 years of daily drinking I am sure I can and will get rid of this anxiety, and you will to even though you dont think so at this time. In the past I have tried relaxation many many times without any luck, but this time I am doing relaxation together with affermations every morning before i get up, even when i dont feel bad I keep it up and it is I think starting to work, but it does take time. I also read a book, Essential help for your nerves by Slaire Weekes, Its a 400 page book but well broke up and so easy to read and understand. I read a little each night before I settled to sleep and it also helped me a lot. I also go into No More panic chatroom most nights there is usualy someone in there after 8 30pm, you would be made so welcome and could have a chat or just look, everyone is so friendy there. the chatroom link is

http://pub4.bravenet.com/chat/show.php/342349380

just click on that link and it will take you there. hope this has been of some help and hope you feel better soon, take care for now, Vernon

[vernon]

jude you are so right. WE WILL GET BETTER

[FAN]

hi , sorry you feel so down , but being here will help you can see we have all been or are where you are now and there is light at the end of the tunnel, read some of the other postings and keep posting yourself it really will help to have us helping you along

fan x

[nomorepanic]

June

It takes time to get better and hard work I am afraid.

The turning point for me was when I said that I couldn't carry on like I was and I had to get better and had to make changes to make that happen.

It won't happen overnight and there will be very very bad days and then there will be the odd good day but it will come in time.

You have to commit to it though and do everything you can to face it head on and look after your body and mind.

Once you decide that you want to do it then the next step is working out what to do. Sounds easy huh?

Well we all know it isn't easy but we can take little steps each day and gradually it comes together.

Stick with us ok and we will do all we can to support you and offer tips for your recovery.

Nicola

[jill]

Hi June

Who cares? Your daughter cares your family cares and WE care.
It must be sooo hard for you suffering for so long. I do believe
that weather it be a short time or a long time with this illness there
is always light at the end of the tunnel.
There are lots of nice people here who will help and support you.

TAKE CARE LOVE JILLXX

"Believe in yourself. You gain strength, courage and confidence
by every experience in which you stop to look fear in the face.
You must do that which you think you cannot do"

[sal]

Hi Juneie

How you are feeling now is horrible and we can all appreciate that, but however bad it gets there is always a reason. You will make friends on this site and you have a very special daughter who will love you regardless how you feel.

How scared you are today or even tomorrow will get easier, trust me this site will show you how you are not alone and how much hope you have for the future.



Lots of Love Sal xxxxx

[Juneie]

Thanks to everyone for their replies, It really helped. Im feeling a bit brighter today and still determined to find some kind of answer to all this. I have had some good times over the last 20yrs, have gone sometimes a couple of years without any symptoms at all. So I know I can do it again. Somedays though, as with a lot of you im sure, its hard to find the energy to keep motivated and to be positive. I often think if I had a partner or a good friend who I could spend time with it would help, but would it? I cant be the only person alone, even if it feels like it.

Thanks again.

June x

long term panic/anxiety sufferer, add agroaphobia to that, fed up

[bluebottle]

I've sent you an email June.

I'm also on my own now after separating from my wife. So you are not the only person alone, the world is full of people on their own, the tragedy is that they can't all get together and end their loneliness. Being in the house or outdoors, it is still lonely isn't it?
Still June, there are great people here who will help you to feel part of the No Panic community. They have kept me together these last few weeks.

Regards,

Blue
--
This Years Love - David Gray -
If you love me got to know for sure, Cos it takes something more this time than sweet sweet lies

[rachel25]

Hi June,

Hope you are feeling better. I just want you to know that i have been on this site now for 2 weeks and i can already feel the difference in myself and you will too. We all have a long way to go but any time you want to talk, drop me a line

Rach xx

[sal]

Hi June

Hold on to those good times you have had over the past 20 years and plenty more will come round. Like you said you have had anxiety free periods that lasted for up to two years so you can get there again.

Take care.



Lots of Love Sal xxxxx