feelfine
17-01-08, 11:20
Hi All,
I stumbled across this website a few months ago and its helped me quite a lot. I really identify with a lot of the people on here so I would like to offer up my story in the hope that it might help others like they have helped me.
I am 37 years old and from the UK. About six years ago, after a chance and innocent comment from my Mum I started worrying about the state of my heart.
I would sit up late into the night, drinking a dispersible asprin and thinking a heart attack was imminent. Eventually after many months of worry I booked myself into a private clinic for a health "MOT". An abnormality showed up during my exercise ECG and I was refered to a cardiologist. After doing some tests including a echocardiogram I was given the all clear.
The trauma of receiving a letter telling me something might be wrong and the subsequent tests really upset me. I have developed a fear of the slightest pain in my chest.
The relationship I was in over all this time ended about a year ago, and a few months later, after an absence of a couple of years, the pains came back. Nobody but my girlfriend knew about this, and I feel robbed of my support network. I am writing this now after a pretty bad night of worry. I have phoned in sick at work and sit here now wondering what next.
I recently went back to the doctor and she told me I was depressed. Over the course of a few appointments, we have talked about some of the things it might be. Arming yourself with facts is a very powerful thing to do, you get back some control. I have read a stack of books about anxiety and depression, some useful information that has come out of this for me is:
(a) "Sensitisation" occurs whereby you are constantly scanning your body for symptoms that will back up your worst fear. Inevitably, you find things, and ignore those that dont back up this fear.
(b) When you are in a state of stress, your body automatically tenses muscles and these tense muscles begin to ache and even spasm hence the pain.
(c) Distraction, movement, exercise all help. Exercise in particular scares me - I feel I should be very still, not making things worse.
(d) Face and Challenge your worst fears. If healthcare professionals are telling you that you are OK, and you cant accept it, prove it to yourself. In my case - do the unthinkable and exercise my heart: I had a fear of flying, and no amount of talking rationally to myself would make flying any less terrifying. The only way was to fly. The rationale goes "well I have flown 10 times now and nothing happened, so it must be OK". Amazingly to me, this was far easier to accept than a distant statistic about one in 100 million would die in a plane crash. I have no idea why but maybe your subconcious wont listen to rational arguments only to first hand experience.
In my case, the last thing I want to hear is that I should get out and get breathless and sweaty, but if I listen closely to myself, I know its true. Its a fear that I dont want to face but its the only path to recovery.
I really empathise with people on this site, I know what constant chronic worry does to you. I feel robbed of the abililty to push myself towards my goals, that it would overload me. In many ways, I feel betrayed by my body and in a state of limbo.
I hope all of this doesnt sound too negative! http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/images/icons/icon7.gif
I stumbled across this website a few months ago and its helped me quite a lot. I really identify with a lot of the people on here so I would like to offer up my story in the hope that it might help others like they have helped me.
I am 37 years old and from the UK. About six years ago, after a chance and innocent comment from my Mum I started worrying about the state of my heart.
I would sit up late into the night, drinking a dispersible asprin and thinking a heart attack was imminent. Eventually after many months of worry I booked myself into a private clinic for a health "MOT". An abnormality showed up during my exercise ECG and I was refered to a cardiologist. After doing some tests including a echocardiogram I was given the all clear.
The trauma of receiving a letter telling me something might be wrong and the subsequent tests really upset me. I have developed a fear of the slightest pain in my chest.
The relationship I was in over all this time ended about a year ago, and a few months later, after an absence of a couple of years, the pains came back. Nobody but my girlfriend knew about this, and I feel robbed of my support network. I am writing this now after a pretty bad night of worry. I have phoned in sick at work and sit here now wondering what next.
I recently went back to the doctor and she told me I was depressed. Over the course of a few appointments, we have talked about some of the things it might be. Arming yourself with facts is a very powerful thing to do, you get back some control. I have read a stack of books about anxiety and depression, some useful information that has come out of this for me is:
(a) "Sensitisation" occurs whereby you are constantly scanning your body for symptoms that will back up your worst fear. Inevitably, you find things, and ignore those that dont back up this fear.
(b) When you are in a state of stress, your body automatically tenses muscles and these tense muscles begin to ache and even spasm hence the pain.
(c) Distraction, movement, exercise all help. Exercise in particular scares me - I feel I should be very still, not making things worse.
(d) Face and Challenge your worst fears. If healthcare professionals are telling you that you are OK, and you cant accept it, prove it to yourself. In my case - do the unthinkable and exercise my heart: I had a fear of flying, and no amount of talking rationally to myself would make flying any less terrifying. The only way was to fly. The rationale goes "well I have flown 10 times now and nothing happened, so it must be OK". Amazingly to me, this was far easier to accept than a distant statistic about one in 100 million would die in a plane crash. I have no idea why but maybe your subconcious wont listen to rational arguments only to first hand experience.
In my case, the last thing I want to hear is that I should get out and get breathless and sweaty, but if I listen closely to myself, I know its true. Its a fear that I dont want to face but its the only path to recovery.
I really empathise with people on this site, I know what constant chronic worry does to you. I feel robbed of the abililty to push myself towards my goals, that it would overload me. In many ways, I feel betrayed by my body and in a state of limbo.
I hope all of this doesnt sound too negative! http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/images/icons/icon7.gif