blackie
17-01-08, 19:54
Hiya all
I have been having real trouble trying to get over agoraphobia. First time i started going out was about a year ago, then something very stressful happened and i had to see a relitive in hospital. After that i stopped going out for nine months. Then before chrsitmas i started going out again and was getting on well but had a terriable meeting with a lady as i had to talk about things that i found disturbing, in a place i found new and scary. Since then i have not gone out again. I have spent the last 2 days in bed alone and the total amount of human contact i have had ammounts to about 5 mins. I am so lonly and scared i will never beable to get better. Feeling so hopeless and full of despair only makes me more anxious and stressed. I have no energy so that even doing simple things like brushing my hair makes me feel like i am going to faint. I have had little or no exercise for the last 2 years.
I really do not know how to keep up the good work of going out and visiting different places. Something always seems to happen to knock me flat on my face. Its very hard to go out everyday as i live in a village where i do not feel comfotably walking around because there are some people that are not perticuly pleasent. To get anywhere else requires a car and i cannot drive. My parents work all week so that only leaves the weekends to go out.
I have been thinking about joining a gym. There is one close by,only 2 miles up the road thats small and quite. Then i could go at lunchtimes with my dad. Only promblem is i am very unfit and feel embarrased about going.Maybe i should say i am recovering from an illness that has prevented me from exercising. After all thats not exactly a lie. if i go with my dad i will feel like i am a burden. He will want to go more in the afternoon and work out for hours so i will feel bad asking him to come at lunchtimes as well. i just do not know how well it will work. Also its alot of money and i do not know if i will even be able to go and do it. I am thinking about doing a weeks trial but first i need to be able to leave the house. i think i can do that though.
Ok sorry i am rambling. I just have it all swirling around in my head and needed to get it down to try and make some sence of it.
There is also an allotment at the end of my road. I was wondering if i could get a patch there but i have no idea how to find out about it. My parents say i shouldtalk to my next door neighbour but i am scared of doing that which is silly as she is a lovly lady.
Anyway i will stop rambling:blush:
Blackie
p.s. sorry about the title. I have only just realised how dodgy it sounds:ohmy:
I have been having real trouble trying to get over agoraphobia. First time i started going out was about a year ago, then something very stressful happened and i had to see a relitive in hospital. After that i stopped going out for nine months. Then before chrsitmas i started going out again and was getting on well but had a terriable meeting with a lady as i had to talk about things that i found disturbing, in a place i found new and scary. Since then i have not gone out again. I have spent the last 2 days in bed alone and the total amount of human contact i have had ammounts to about 5 mins. I am so lonly and scared i will never beable to get better. Feeling so hopeless and full of despair only makes me more anxious and stressed. I have no energy so that even doing simple things like brushing my hair makes me feel like i am going to faint. I have had little or no exercise for the last 2 years.
I really do not know how to keep up the good work of going out and visiting different places. Something always seems to happen to knock me flat on my face. Its very hard to go out everyday as i live in a village where i do not feel comfotably walking around because there are some people that are not perticuly pleasent. To get anywhere else requires a car and i cannot drive. My parents work all week so that only leaves the weekends to go out.
I have been thinking about joining a gym. There is one close by,only 2 miles up the road thats small and quite. Then i could go at lunchtimes with my dad. Only promblem is i am very unfit and feel embarrased about going.Maybe i should say i am recovering from an illness that has prevented me from exercising. After all thats not exactly a lie. if i go with my dad i will feel like i am a burden. He will want to go more in the afternoon and work out for hours so i will feel bad asking him to come at lunchtimes as well. i just do not know how well it will work. Also its alot of money and i do not know if i will even be able to go and do it. I am thinking about doing a weeks trial but first i need to be able to leave the house. i think i can do that though.
Ok sorry i am rambling. I just have it all swirling around in my head and needed to get it down to try and make some sence of it.
There is also an allotment at the end of my road. I was wondering if i could get a patch there but i have no idea how to find out about it. My parents say i shouldtalk to my next door neighbour but i am scared of doing that which is silly as she is a lovly lady.
Anyway i will stop rambling:blush:
Blackie
p.s. sorry about the title. I have only just realised how dodgy it sounds:ohmy: