help i am sad and lonley

[fretty freda]

i feel like i have come to a dead end in life ! i am not happy at work or in my relationship and i dont have many friends and the ones i do have i dont see much of .

what am i going to do ?

if my relationship ends i will be lost and even more depressed i dont have any mates and my boyfriend of 8 years is my life my life revolves around him ! wrong i know i should have done things different but its too late 8 years on ! i cant commit to him forever but i dont wont to loose him either !

work is boring these is nothing to work towards and i am waiting for the bosses to arrange my reduced hours ! i cant carry on working 9-5.30 mon to fri its getting me anxious every day and in turn depressed !

also cant stop worring about my mum incase she gets sick again really cant cope with any more than i already have

what am i going to do ?

[joannap]

hi - i think you need to deal with one worry at a time and try to get some perspective on it as you are letting everything overwhelm you. it sounds like it is time to tell your boss that your hours need to be reduced immediately or if you feel need a break - can your gp sign you off or maybe look for a part time job that is more interesting.

regarding your boyfriend - if you are unsure of how you truly feel then don;t make a rash decision - wait and see as when we feel down and anxious - everything feels worse than it really is. you cannot just stay in a relationship however because you are worried about being lonely as that is not healthy for either of you. start to have time away from your boyfriend - make the effort and see the friends you do have or pop round and see family - i know its difficult but if you want things to change then you have to start making changes.

i know its easy to say but however much you worry will also not change the health of your mum but if you focus on feeling stronger and more in control of the other areas of your life - you will know that you will have the inner strength and confidence to cope if she does become poorly again.

hope you feel better soon. jo x

[fretty freda]

thank you for that sound piece of advice i shall try my hardest to start making changes and then will things change ?

[fretty freda]

i am still looking for advice if any one else has ideas

[Richie]

hi there Freda,
can't say any more or give any more advice than Joannap has said,
Life can frequently overwhelm us, and the more things we have in it the more stressed we get, (having nothing is a big stress too!) you need to try and find a balance and trim down what you are taking on (easier said than done)
But if you feel stronger whatever life throws at us we can cope with it better obviously.
I have same problems worrying , about my mum especially but when i'm stressed it just makes her worse so not doing her any favours ! ;)
Do things in Bite Size chunks if you can.
Sorry for the poor advice, do take care of yourself and try to value yourself. xx Remember that as a human being/ not a super hero you are doing the best you can.
Love Richie xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx