I can't stand it any longer!!!!!!!!

[xBettyBoopx]

I can't stand being stuck indoors all this time while most people are out and about. I've had to put up with this agora for nearly 3 years, but only went to work before that, no fun, no social life, nothing! I live alone, have no friends, my family don't much care. I'm physically ill as well, the only time this will come to an end is when I stop breathing!

I CANNOT JUST EXIST ANYMORE!!

What's the point in this so called life? I mean whats the bloody point in my life? I HATE IT, HATE IT HATE IT!!

[NewDawnFades]

Dear Elspeth,

Hi. I wish that you were feeling better. I know and understand what you are going through. Agoraphobia has governed my life for over 20 years now. The only thing that keeps me continually facing the world, is the fact that I have to work. But after work, then it's right back to the house. It is such a viscious cycle. My heart broke when I read this, because I really do know what you are going through. If I can help in anyway, let me know. I am sending many hugs your way.

Sincerely,

David

[belle]

Hi Hun..

Its rubbish isn't it. I've had nearly TEN years of no life, no friends and family who think i am agoraphobic on purpose!!!

I wish i could offer you some advice, but i don't have any...

[Granny Primark]

Hi elspeth,
I just cant imagine what your going through.
For a few months I was unable to get out the area which I live and to me that felt horrendous.
Is there anyone in your area that can give you support?
Just taking a very small step at a time and either posting on her or telling my close friends and family helped me. I began to feel good about myself cus of the praise I recieved. It spurred me on to want to do more.
Please feel free to contact me.
Loads of hugs.

LYNN xx

[Dying_Swan]

Elspeth :hugs:

I'm so sorry to read this and see how down you are :weep:

When I was agoraphobic I saw no way out, ever. In some ways I was fortunate as I was living with friends, so I did at least have company at home.

Now I live by myself and I know you can feel isolated at times. I don't have ag. anymore. There is a light at the end of that very long, dark tunnel.

I think you need to see someone as soon as possible. I don't know what kind of support, if any, you are receiving, but I do think a GP/counsellor etc ought to know how you are feeling. Even just sharing your thoughts and letting someone else know what's happening can be helpful.

Have you thought about ringing the Samaritans? I got into utter despair one night and could only see one way out too. I was terrified to call them, but did and they were fantastic. Their number is 08457 90 90 90. I think it's quite cheap to call, and they will call you back if needs be.

NoPanic also have a helpline. I've not spoken to them but I think they are really good. The number is Freephone 0808 808 0545. I think it is a helpline in the day and a crisis line overnight.

I really hope you can get something sorted and start to feel a bit better soon.

Keep talking ok?

xxx :flowers:

[chalky]

Hi Elspeth,

Just wanted to send you some hugs.

:hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

Hope you start to feel better soon.
Best wishes,
Chalky

[manmoor]

Elspeth have some hugs from me too hun :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: xxx

[Panic1971]

Hi Elspeth

Just wanted to send you some hugs:hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

Take care x

[groovygranny]

http://th263.photobucket.com/albums/ii121/pearlnevercry/th_hugs.gifFor you Elspeth, because I have no advice other than what has already been given.

Please, don't lose hope.

xxx xxx xxx

[xBettyBoopx]

Thank you all for your replies, hugs and thoughts.

I have phoned the samaritans on a few occasions. I haven't been to the drs for about a year and a half. All they want to do is put me on anti-depressants, and I won't take them because I am not clinically depressed, I am depressed because I have no life, and never have really. Medication is not going to make by problems go away. Last dr I saw told me that I couldn't see a therpaist unless I wanted to 'jump off a bridge'!! Well, maybe I would if I could get to a fickin bridge:ohmy: :ohmy: :ohmy: No, only joking, don't take that as serious.

My mum helped me a lot but she passed away in 2005 and since then I have gone down hill. My sister her family, and my dad don't understand, neither do they realise how physically ill I am. Perhaps they don't want to know. All my so called friends have disappeared and now I am on my own, my neighbour goes to the shop for me. Trying to live on incap benefit is hard, and I was turned down for disability (*******s)!:shrug:

Thanks for letting me rant on here cause otherwise I cry all the time and that upsets my cat:ohmy: :ohmy: I am grateful at least that I have the internet, as it's my only form of contact with the outside world.

Thanks again for your replies.

Love to you all and: http://www.great-romances.com/wp-content/Roses04.jpg

Rose for you all:hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

[Dying_Swan]

Hey Elspeth :hugs:

I'm glad that ranting on here helps a bit.

I'm shocked that the Doctor said that to you. Then again, I've heard so many awful tales of GP's on this site, maybe I'm not shocked. It's still a disgrace though. I'd go again and try to see a different doctor. If you haven't seen one for 18 months, it's probably time for a check up :blush: Some GP's are good and might allow you to access help, rather than put you on anti-d's. I saw a Doctor recently for advice about a surgical problem. I'd just been discharged from hospital and was quite worried. He just said 'Shall I double your Citalopram?'. 'No, thanks'. I then saw in my notes...'Miserable lady, refuses increase in meds'. How rude! :ohmy:

I'm so sorry to hear about your mum. I'm sure that contributes, in no small way, to how you are feeling. My Dad died in 2002 and that was really the start of all my troubles. It's difficult when your family don't understand at all.

Was it you who was taking Lorazepam and Diazepam? I'm sure it was you who was giving me advice about that. I was wondering whether you find these helpful. If we could just think of some way to help you start conquering the agoraphobia, I'm sure you'd feel a lot better.

Perhaps you could look into counselling services in your area...there might be some free ones, particularly if you go from a bereavement perspective.

If there's any way you could go back to the GP (a different one!) - go back and ask for a CBT referral. I mean demand it. Maybe even print this thread out and show them?

Keep talking,

xxx :flowers:

[xBettyBoopx]

Hi Swan

Yes, it is me on the diaz's and loraz's. They help a bit, but I have been on tranquillizers for about 26 years (not the same ones):ohmy: cause I've had panic attacks since I was 18 years old, and I am now 50:blush:

Sorry to hear about your experience at the drs, some are real pratts! Sorry also about your dad, I wonder why some people cope better than others with a death in the family.

I used to see a physcologist but that was a long time ago, didn't really help, but was good to talk!

I'm not at all trusting of drs, and would find it hard to get there for an appointment, although it's only about 300 yards away:shrug:

I just feel so like I'm at the end of my life, working kept me going, but when I was made redundant for the 4th time back in April 2005, I knew that was it for me. Especially as I've had back problems for 10 years and I knew that no one would want to take me on, but then mum got sick and I was glad I didn't have a job as I could take dad to the hospital during the day and help him as mum always did everything for him and he was hopeless basically, lol. Oh dear, I musn't go on!

Thanks for replying and I will try and get to drs.

Take care

Elspeth

[Dying_Swan]

Hey Elspeth :hugs:

Sorry for late reply. How are things? Are you feeling any brighter now?

Did you manage to get to the Doctor's?

I know it's hard. I remember being at my peak of agoraphobia and having to see the GP....shaking, crying etc. And feeling very foolish in the process. Fortunately, she was very understanding and helpful. There are good ones out there.....

I'm so sorry to hear that you've battled with this for such a long time. I still truly believe that there is hope though.

Some CBT therapists will do home visits. You can check out www.babcp.org.uk which will list those in your area who do. Unfortunately, these tend to be private therapists and therefore expensive. I was wondering about the possibility of telephone counselling/therapy, and even a telephone GP consultation? I really think just having someone to chat to about how you are feeling might be helpful for you.

Back problems can be very debilitating, you poor thing. If someone doesn't employ you because of that, they need to be reminded of the Disability Discrimination Act, and to look at their Equal Opportunities policy.

For now though, I'd try to focus on getting yourself some help, be it in the form of seeing the doc, a counsellor, or anyone who is trained to listen.

I hope you are feeling a little better now

xxx :flowers: