View Full Version : I found a cure....you can get it too...
franklin2003
24-01-08, 16:23
Anxiety can be cured!! I wanted to share my steps as to how I overcame anxiety and if you have questions please feel free to post them.
It was very simple..
Rest
Nutrition
Acceptance
One day I just stopped, I just stopped rushing from one thing to another, with tense shoulders, racing thoughts, fear of blacking out, fear of being hurt, fear, fear fear....and I realized it hasn't hurt me for 4 months why would it hurt me today. And with that thought, I allowed the rushes, I allowed my body to scream at me telling me the end was near. The dizziness, the tension, the unsteadiness, the lack of concentration, the fatigue. I allowed it to do what it had to do. I accepted it was there, but then I did what I had to do. Walk to work, go grocery shopping, read a book.
Yes sometimes it was hard, sometimes I was just tired and wanted to rest, so I did. But I didn't rest as an excuse for the anxiety, I rested because my body just needed to digest the mistake it had made, reinforce the calm I COULD CONTROL!!, and then in an hour or the next day I would go back to my life.
I'm not 100% maybe 75%, but I know I have been cured and I know I will be 100% because I understand now that it just takes time, maybe a few weeks, maybe a few months. But, the feelings don't bother me, if I feel pressure and dizziness instead of racing to get home or somewhere safe, I just slow down, I let it come and then I let it pass, maybe its still there when I let it pass...but I just keep walking. I never have fallen from it, i've never gone blind from it, i've never passed out from it. It can hurt, it can be painful, but with rest (maybe even a few days/weeks) it will pass. It won't be so bad. When i've learned to accept it, it's learned to go away. My body says yes you're muscles are tense, but WE CAN STILL FUNCTION, so we will lower the pain and allow you to keep doing what you are doing.
Sleeping, I couldn't sleep a full night, I would wake up with the weirdest thoughts, have the weirdest dreams, scary thoughts of what I might/could do. But one day, I just allowed them to happen and focused on things I enjoyed. Maybe a hobby, maybe a story, anything that just kept my focus, made me feel good, and put me to sleep. I now sleep full nights 8-10 hours. No problem. Waking up still sometimes feels weird, sometimes there is still anxiety there, but I let it happen. I get up, get in the shower, I don't stress out or worry about what I need to do today. It will get done, if it doesn't, maybe I will do it tomorrow or maybe it just wasn't important.
The truth is I did this without pills, I did do this with a Psych, but they brought reassurnace, not a cure. The cure was within me not giving in, but giving up. Giving up thinking anxiously, and giving up reacting to the feelings of anxiety.
Good luck, you can do it, but you have to let go.
hi I really like the sound of what you did i am trying to do something simliar myself at the moment like you said its hard at first to fight it,or rather to fight not fearing if that makes sense, but i am really going to keep trying, thanks for great post
Take care
Emma
franklin thanks for that great post and I am so pleased you are doing so well.
You are absolutely right the only cure is to ignore and let those feelings float right through you and carry on. I have been doing this for a few months now and my life is improving and the anxiety is far less. It isn't easy to do but I agree if you stay strong and determined you can do it.
Well done
Carol
I agree.The only way to beat it is to accept it even tell it to do its worst as if you care! It is difficult but it is the only way.If and when the dreaded panic attack happens what is it anyway.it's all over in minutes and how relaxed do you feel afterwards when all that tension has dispersed.
All the best
John
thats what i'm trying to do at the moment but i still find i darent push myself that final bit. im scared of what will happen?
glad its working for you, i think youre so brave x
franklin2003
24-01-08, 23:16
What's important to remember is that you are doing it to yourself!!! Anxiety is due to the decisions you make, you have the power to both stop and start them. It will take time, but I encourage anyone who has been diagnosed with anxiety that when they have their next high level of anxiety or panic find some place "safe", put in a relaxation tape, and just truly accept the feelings and try to relax. You'll be amazed in 30-60 minutes how you feel, maybe tired maybe have "anxiety hangover"...but you will feel better. If you accepted and tried to relax.
burberrygirl72
25-01-08, 00:24
im too trying to except it i have stopped my meds and going back to work monday since stopping my meds i have had up to 5 panic attacks a day but like you say i keep telling myself they wont hurt me im not going to die im not going to faint or go insane i really hope this works for me but no its going to be hard i wish you all the luck with getting over your anx and hope i have the strenth to will myself on without taking my meds
franklin2003
25-01-08, 00:30
Burberry.... you're on the right step!! you're doing the right things keep it up...stressful events in life will bring on panic attacks more easily for us than others...the important thing to do though is to rest when you can and find things you enjoy. Keeping occupied and allowing our body to digest the anxiety, while reinforcing positive behaviors will help.
Hi,
Congrats. Even I am trying the same practice. may be it will help. In short you should accept your anxiety.
Frankin your post made me smile. It was such a joy to read and mirrored the techniques that I use to recover from this illness.
You are spot on mate, and may you continue on your journey of wellness.
Luv darkangel x:flowers:
franklin2003
25-01-08, 16:44
Just to again reinforce it's a process, I had some dizziness last night, where I have a hard time focusing on something because I feel like things are shifting, not spinning. I think this is related to my neck tension, but I want some reassurance it is because I have not been given that definante diagnosis. I'm going to the doctor on Wednesday to discuss it. In the mean time, I had a tension headache after the dizziness so I went to bed and woke up feeling better. I'll accept it since I don't have anything serious and i've experienced before...but I will get the reassurance from my doctor and then if he feels it's anxiety I will move on knowing it eventually will go away.
franklin2003
26-01-08, 00:41
I took it easy today, but i'm going to go out tonight, I can't stay in worried about worrying...I need to go out and learn to accept. I challenge you to too..!
Frankin, after reading your post I went out to our local indoor market. Yes I still was apprehensive and on one occasion felt lightheaded and a bit dizzy but the awful thoughts didnt come and I just said to myself, OK accept this is how you are cos you are still practising and the more I do it the easier it will become. When we dont add on the frightening thoughts then it abates. Like you I have a lot of neck tension which causes me to feel disorientated but with rest it does go away.
Hope all goes well with the doc on Wed, but Im sure you already know its anxiety related. Eventually you will be able to let this go to.
Take care and keep up the good work on your continued journey to wellness
Darkangel x:flowers:
sandramick
26-01-08, 12:02
brill post . it got to come from within ive learned that . just putting it into practice the hard bit . well done an good luck x
franklin2003
26-01-08, 15:54
Way to go Darkangel!
I had a good time last night, felt odd leaving the house, but it went away. Felt odd towards the end of the night, but i'm here in the morning typing this so nothing bad happend.
I think it's important to remember, what is it about our safe places, where we run to in panic that makes them so safe? Why can't our safe places be anywhere? That's what we all are begining to learn, we can ride out panic or anxiety at the mall, store, bedroom at home, on top of a rollercoaster.
At the end put faith in your body, treat it well, sleep well. Even though I had some (not terrible!!) anxiety last night, i was still able to put faith in that it's just an over reaction of my body and slept like a rock. I always kind of feel weird in the morning, I need to learn to no test for anxiety at that time. Because, I control when I feel anxious and when I test for it. It will always be there.
Take care everyone, I challenge everyone today to go out and do something, accepting themselves and the feelings that come. Try to put a spin on the anxiety and enjoy it! That's my challenge for today, to learn to enjoy anxiety.
Feel free to post any thoughts or questions and remember to let go....you are safe.
could you give me some tips on relaxation and nutrition please franklin? if you want you can pm me. i really am trying hard at the moment and want my life back. any help you could give me i'd really appreciate.
thanks ju x
hello Franklin
thanks for a great post ive had health anxiety for almost 14 years now, and i experience panic on a daily basis, always thinking that each day is my last due to a illness ie; heart etc, that the docs have missed.
Do you think that this method would work for me too?
Thanks again
tracie
franklin2003
27-01-08, 03:41
I'm glad we are pulling together either silent or posting, lets get through this together!!!!
Julie - We all want our lives back and these thoughts and feelings overwhelm us, I understand! Nutrition is nothing more than getting away from foods we all know aren't good for us and getting back to basics. Three square healthy meals a day, salads, fruits, vegetables...all of those things keep our minds and our bodies full of energy. When we have panic we need it!!! But remember that this does not cure us...it helps us..but we are the ones who cure ourselves not the food we eat or anything else..remember the food helps us keep in top shape...but we take it to the next level. As for relaxation I have a tape I listen to, its 45 minutes long and it walks me through relaxing my body, I try to use it 3-4 times a week either during/after a panic attack or at night to relax before bed. There are tons of these types of tapes out there, try amazon.com for user reviews. Remember though you need to let go...let your body drift...allow yourself to face the fear and absorb it...it does take time
traciec- we live in a time of the great medical equipment/people that have ever existed. Look at the technology available to find the smallest spots, we have pumps that can keep your heart going for years!!!! Wow! Also remember we have 1000s of years of medicene..it's time to trust that and let go.. Yes you can beat this....you've been given a gift...you get to enjoy the last day of your life everyday!!!!! Wow, what energy and power you must feel....be empowered with that energy...accept it..thank God he has given it to you and Let go...I challenge you to this traciec..the next next time you have panic if you need to go somewhere comfortable and then accept it...and drop your arms your legs..just melt into the chair or bed you lying in...just let it happen..don't think about it..just melt..maybe put a movie or tv show on and watch that..you might hate it, but just melt into all of it...give it 30 minutes and if you've really let go...go out and celebrate becuase you probably feel better!!!!!
Today was good and bad, I slipped but I kept pushing, I was in a stadium with thousands of people, neverous...i bounced up and down..i couldn't let myself relax and then i could. It was terrible, it was torture, it was a part of recovery.... I made it through it, I didn't feel great, I went home.
But then I went out to eat..and I was nervous again..until about an hour into the meal I finally just listend to what i've been preaching and I let go...
AND IT FELT GREAT!!! I had a very good time and then we went to another bar... but I drank too much.. the alcohol relaxed me, but then my thoughts overcame me and I had a panic attack...thank god it was the end of the night and we could leave...but unlike other times..i let go as much as i possibly could during the attack and i'm here now typing this.
I made it through the attack, i don't feel great but i'm here..i'll sleep and tackle the rest tommorow...
We make mistakes, but hey i'm happy right now and 1 hour ago I had a terrible panic attack where I couldn't focus on anything neither did I want to..but I let go...
Keep reading, keep sharing, keep asking..lets challenge ourselves to get past this..go out and do something!! Tell me about it!
franklin2003
30-01-08, 17:05
Anxiety still here....yes...more managable yes!
I'm improving, I know I am I can feel it, I'm so close.
Went to the doctor today to discuss the little bump on the back of my head, once he felt it..said without a doubt it was a cyst that would go away or maybe not. Has no effect on me whatsoever or the dizziness or headaches i've been having.
He also provided xanax to try out for the dizziness and if that doesn't work he suggest I see a neurologist, even though he feels it's probably more of an anxiety thing than anything.
Anyways, i'm also seeing a chiropractor and i have to admit i've seen a huge huge improvement in my tension headaches. They are very mild and I know will disappear once the anxiety leaves.
This all just leaves some unsteadiness and anxiety in public places, I think the xanax will be helpful if I use it to reinforce that it is just anxiety and gives my brain a break to condition itself for lower anxiety levels.
Just an update for someone on the road to recovery...post your comments, success stories, or questions if you feel like it.
Southern_Belle
03-02-08, 16:43
Franklin,
I know what you speak of is the truth and I'm so glad you found something that worked for you. I do believe that we need to live in the present to conquer anxiety yet sometimes it can be so difficult to do. I'm so happy for you.
Hugs,
Laura
Hi Franklin, I have been doing what you have done for the last month or so and the anxiety is definitely getting less. I have been this way since July 2006 and I was 85% cured during April, May and June last year. Then I had a relapse back in August and I have been trying to get over it all again ever since. But you are so right about accepting how we are feeling and stop thinking anxious thoughts and reacting to the feelings of anxiety. As you say, nothing will happen to us will it and I am just getting to the point where I am able to go down town on a busy Saturday afternoon. At least thats what I did this Saturday for the first time in months and I was quite proud of myself!! I felt unreal but I kept telling myself to just carry on enjoying shopping and that nothing awful would happen and of course nothing awful did happen. In fact the feelings got less as I carried on looking around. I am not cured yet but I am a lot better than I was at Xmas.
Take Care
Shirley
x x x
Hi Franklin, I have been doing what you have done for the last month or so and the anxiety is definitely getting less. I have been this way since July 2006 and I was 85% cured during April, May and June last year. Then I had a relapse back in August and I have been trying to get over it all again ever since. But you are so right about accepting how we are feeling and stop thinking anxious thoughts and reacting to the feelings of anxiety. As you say, nothing will happen to us will it and I am just getting to the point where I am able to go down town on a busy Saturday afternoon. At least thats what I did this Saturday for the first time in months and I was quite proud of myself!! I felt unreal but I kept telling myself to just carry on enjoying shopping and that nothing awful would happen and of course nothing awful did happen. In fact the feelings got less as I carried on looking around. I am not cured yet but I am a lot better than I was at Xmas.
Take Care
Shirley
x x x
Hi all, I have just been for a walk and was away from the car for about 1.5 hours. I have had difficulty getting far from the car till a few weeks ago when I started making myself walk further. I suffer largely with unreality but I find that the more I do things and DONT get het up about it, and focus elsewhere, the less it bothers me. Also, as I said in my previous post, I just keep telling myself I will be ok and that nothing bad is going to happen. It seems to be getting less intense as time goes by. I was even able to go into town on Saturday as I said in my other post - that was the first time since about August last year! I have a way to go yet but I feel that if I take things steady, I will get there.
Love Shirley
x x x
franklin2003
05-02-08, 19:16
Wow Good for you!!! It does get easier doesn't...I'm on a rollercoaster ride right now, some days i'm overwhelmed other days i'm not. Really i've gotten it down to certain situation. I feel safer and better at home, I just need to work on being out in public. Finding that same acceptance that i've found at home. It does take time, don't get discouraged, you will have ups and downs. Enjoy the ups and practice in the downs. Remember you were here yesterday, live for today, and enjoy tommorow.
I hope everyone else is doing well!
franklin2003
05-02-08, 20:46
You know an additional thing, it's important for those who want to be cured, to cure themselves, to focus on the positives. So thanks to everyone who posted their thoughts and experiences. When we begin to think positively, when we actively force ourselves to think positively both mentally and physically..it is how we reverse the other thoughts. So thank you
Hi Franklin, Yes it does get easier though it takes time. I think that thats the whole thing with anxiety etc, everyone feels safer and better at home. And I too am working on being out in public and away from the car. Yes it does take time and there has been ups and downs but you are so right. I must enjoy the ups and practice in the downs. Its hard not being discouraged at times isnt it. But I am trying very hard. I agree with you about the positives too.
I am just going out for a run in the car, only 7 or 8 miles, to a nearby town and have a look in the charity shops there. I will let you know how it went when I get back. Thats another thing - I am having to get back into driving again. Been a driver for 25 years with no trouble till the anxiety set in a couple of years ago. So I am trying to get myself back into it again.
Take Care
Love Shirley
x x x
Hi all, It is now 1.30pm and I managed to drive to the nearby town and look in their charity shops. I felt quite unreal at first but kept telling myself that I was ok and that nothing bad was going to happen. Anyway the feeling got less as I wandered around slowly in the lovely bright sunshine and spoke to people in the shops. I walked well away from the car too. So that was good. Then after a couple of hours I went back to the car and drove another 6 miles to Skem where I had lunch in their cafe. I was trying to push myself to drive further and it worked. I had a look around the store too. It was May or June last year, when I last did that!
Anyway I got some nice things in the charity shops and I am now back home as I have got jobs to do. So I feel like things are looking up - I see my Psychologist on Friday at 11.30am.
Best Wishes.
Shirley
x x x
PS. When I said I had lunch in their cafe, I meant Asda cafe.
Shirley
x x x
franklin2003
06-02-08, 19:56
Wow good for you, i'm so happy your begining to realize you control those feelings not the other way around!
I want to remind everyone, that it's not a switch that turns on one day and everything is cheeky. It actually starts months in advance when you prepare your mind to accept the feelings and thoughts you are having. It's very very slow because your body still over reacts to EVERYTHING. But overtime when you are prepared to live with your feelings, practice changing your thoughts, it will come...it will come
Then when it comes and you see the successes we see above you have to do it ALL the time. Enjoy the highs, practice in the lows. Will you fail some days, of course you will, but you will find that the failures are a little less each time. Maybe you were out too late and got tired, maybe you pushed your body to hard during exercise, maybe you just had a stressful day. Those things will still tirgger panic and anxiety, but what I think many of us who work at cure find is..that we are now more able to bring our OVERALL anxiety level down..we begin to find more of an inner peace. This helps with those stressful situations, which helps our bodies realize that we are in control, which reduces the anxiety.
Rest
Nutirtion
Acceptance
those will cure you...not tommorow, not in days, weeks, but months...
I'm going to shift myself up today to 80% cured...i'm just feeling more empowered when the anxiety strikes and i'm begining to really crack true acceptance..which in my mind is the ability to continue living with the panic and not fearing it...true acceptance leads to cures..
I encourage you all to begin today...in a few months you will thank yourself.
Well done franklin
I want to thank you for posting your story because everything you say is so so true.
You've given me the kickstart i needed. I've been sliding back to my old panics/anxiety/agoraphobia...feeling sorry for myself...worrying...but...Im not going to let this beat me again.....I beat it once before...so i can do it again. Lifes too short.
Cheers
:hugs: :hugs: :hugs:
Hi Franklin, Yes, I am beginning to realise that I control the feelings. And I agree completely when you say that any cure starts months in advance. I have had this "challenge" 3 or 4 times in 30 years so I know how true that is, also your words about acceptance. Have you ever been to www.anxietynomore.co.uk (http://www.anxietynomore.co.uk) Paul David who wrote the site speaks a lot about acceptance and I know he and you are totally right with that too. Nutrition and rest are part of it as well.
So good to read that you say you are 80% cured and are feeling more empowered when the anxiety strikes. Yes true acceptance is the ability to live with the panic - or anxiety in my case - and not be scared of it. Also, by accepting it, we are not fighting how we are feeling and of course fighting only keeps us anxious longer. Accepting and relaxing is the way forward isnt it. Have you ever read, "Self help for your nerves" by Claire Weekes? Or, "Essential help for your nerves". They are great too.
Keep up the good work.
Love Shirley
x x x
So yes, I feel I am beginning to accept this completely too as I have been doing much more lately.
franklin2003
20-02-08, 18:31
Claire Weekes has been the basis for finding myself again....it was the base from where i turned my thoughts outward instead of inward.
Just an update..i subscribed the website anxietycentre.com and purchased there techniques. If you are a fan of Claire Weekes you'll be a fan of this website. It teaches you CBT techniques, teaches you why you have panic attacks, and gives you the courage that you can cure yourself!! I believe its $20 for 6 months, I want to help someone so PM me with your story, efforts of recovery, and I'd like to give a gift to access this site. If you can afford it but still want to chat, PM me, but I want to help someone get up and realize some of the things I have who may not be able to afford the help.
I've had a few rough days, Monday was really rough and I had a pretty close PA and bad anxiety. This is the rollercoaster ride of anxiety, the physical symptoms play us SO WELL, today I was anxious when driving but I road it out. I continually reframed my mind to tell myself it's just a feeling and that it can't hurt me. I've lived through it a million times before, I will again. I still feel a little anxious, but i'm not letting it bother me too much.
I hope I've provided some good info for those looking to actually get past this. Sometimes I think we learn to live in this condition and a cure seems so far away. It really isn't. I look forward to hearing from you and helping someone.
Acceptance
Calm
Nutrition
Calm
Calm
You are safe
You're symptoms are a bodily over reaction
You have the cure
It takes time
Avoid the negative
Avoid "what if"
Avoid the search for a cure
Avoid searching symptoms
Reframe your thoughts
You are safe
You are okay
Calm
Calm
Even when you can't be calm, think calm
You're body is ready to go back to normal whenever you choose
Calm
franklin2003
25-02-08, 01:06
Today was another good day, it was the first time I was able to go for a walk...a long walk...a lot of my dizziness has disappeared since i've accepted my symptoms as anxiety. I have a ton neck and shoulder tension on my right side and i've accepted this the cause.
On Friday I did have some greater panic on my way home in a car..I just couldn't shake it in the car and once we got home as soon as I stepped out I felt better. It will be hard to ride in a car again, but I have to..to keep beating this. It's bee.en almost a month since I said "stop" that one day...and my life is getting better day by day. As Claire Weekes has said Accept, Float, Let time pass. It probably has taken me 2 months to get there..but I feel I finally am. It takes so much time, but at the peak of the panic you have to willingly surrender and relax to it. It's an amazing cure, to open your eyes and stand brave to feelings that can't hurt you. I hope many of you are inspired by my postings to start today.
franklin2003
28-02-08, 16:15
Just wanted to drop another line, this is more theaputic for me to track my progress, so i'm sorry if you feel that i'm bumping this thread..i hope you can use it in your own recovery
I was nervous this morning..didn't feel right..but i went to work anyways, i'm lucky and cursed in that i can work from home or at work, i went right through it accepted every feeling..it took about an hour...but it went away and this is the first time in months i've been able to sit at peace at my computer..
Are all my symptoms gone? No...they are still there..but i'm relaxing as much as possible allowing them to come, not giving them much thought and letting them go..
This is a progress...up and down..but once you utter surrender and accept that anxiety can do you no harm but give you FALSE physical symptoms..you will be healed....with patience..A LOT of patience
Hi Franklin, Your posts are great. I am still up and down with the anxiety and dont feel right myself this morning, like you on Thursday. But I am trying to accept how I am feeling and let the feelings come and believe that they cant harm me. Yes it takes patience, tons of it. But I am just so thankful that I can get out and about a bit. And that I have a voluntary job too. I think its great that you were at work the other day and accepted how you were feeling and that it went away after an hour.
So like you, I am going to have to relax as much as possible and not give how I am feeling, much thought. Also, I think I will print out your list starting with Acceptance above.
I see you mention driving. This has been a big thing for me too. Largely because of the unreality - I dont know if this is an issue for you. But I am slowly building myself up to driving to Yorkshire (70 miles) and back on my own again. I drove back with my husband the other week but am not ready to go all the way there and back on my own yet. On Tuesday I drove 20 miles to Preston Dock on my own and I admit I felt better once I got out of the car and had a cuppa in the cafe.
Yes I am improving and getting there, slowly but surely. And I will be following your posts and progress from here onwards. I need that push! I am close to tears now but I must not let this beat me. If you can accept how you are feeling Franklin, then so can I.
Thanks Franklin
Shirley
franklin2003
02-03-08, 16:56
Yesterday I was reminded of how much my body over reacts when i'm in a car. I had not felt that level of anxiety in well over a week and i need to put it on my to dos to start to tackle. This time I was riding in the car and not driving it...my heart was pounding, it was hard to breath, it was so hard to focus.
What are some of the positives of this experience, I was able to continue doing what I needed to do once I got out of that car...that was a first..before I would have been in a blind panic and not able to perform.
I needed to ride back home though and that increased the anxiety I was feeling. It was very hard to get my body to relax and process those anxiety hormones, the ones that take a while to work out of system when we are struck by severe anxiety. I contemplated taking a Xanax, i held it in my hand when it was time to get back in the car. We drove home, I was able to talk more on the way home, able to focus more, but the anxiety was still there. It also may have been because I was going home, but who cares I was able to bring it down to some degree. Once I got home I threw the Xanax to the ground and crushed it with my shoe. I then went home and relaxed allowed the anxiety to pass and went out for a long time. I was hesitant though to go out further for fear of that attack, today I'm going to do some errands around down, instead of me driving i'm going to ride. Hopefully with a few practice runs it will begin to disappear, and like walking around the city, the anxiety will no longer have that type of hold on me.
Don't dispair, truly we are effected by a harmless annoyance, i've come a long ways, I know longer have that creeping underlying anxiety in most things I do and when it does come I ignore it and it goes away. I visualize every day having my life back and that gives me focus, I don't dispair about it, I visualize knowing I'll have it. It will come it just takes time I guess.
Hi Franklin, I understand how you felt about being in the car the other day. My anxiety started 2 years ago with a panic attack when I was driving and one when I was a passenger and I have been working on getting back into driving ever since. Only a year ago I could barely get into a car. Then only 2 weeks ago I drove back from Yorkshire, 70 miles. Hubby was with me. I am not ready to do it on my own, or with the kids, just yet though.
So glad to hear you were able to bring your anxiety levels down a bit on the way home in the car and also get rid of the Xanax when you got home. How did you get on with your errands around town? I agree, if you go as a passenger for a few times, as you say, on practice runs, the anxiety will get less. It did for me. I am not perfect yet but the anxiety when I am in the car is getting less.
I will try not to despair Franklin and see that we are only affected by an harmless annoyance. Great to know that most of the time you dont have that underlying anxiety and that if you do, you ignore it, and it goes away.
Thats a good idea too, to visualise having your life back and even knowing you will have it back. I know that I will have my life back one of these days - as you say, it will come. It just takes time.
Keep up the good work.
Back soon
Love Shirley
journeyman
05-03-08, 20:44
Hi Franklin
I would climb in a Vehicle with hugh anticipation, Heart thumping and when the Driver took off up the road i would I would go into a panic, My Stomouch would Not up with such intenensity that i would grab the door yelling i want to get out , And all that happend in seconds, and I would then spend the rest of the journey in a state of shakeyness. Only for the driver to give me strange looks. That was with me for 20 Years. This is how i started to beat it.-- Id get in the vehicle with an attitude of bring it on, I dont care anymore, (Im talking to my sub conscious by the way, almost like its another person.) and when i would get the beginning of a panic i would NOT TENSE UP, I would think of myself as floating, But at the same time thinking to my self, Panic if you want to But im not helping you, Come on give me the best youve got, you cant hurt me , So do your worst. What i did not do is try to stop it, Because that is the fuel to feeding it. Im not saying that every body actually panics, However my anxiety was always based on the fact that i could lose it and panic, Not fighting it as been my My best Tool for Recovery.
franklin2003
07-03-08, 20:08
Thanks for the post JourneyMan...I always enjoy reading your posts just keeps the confidence going..
Just an update to anyone who is interested, it has been over a month since I had my "STOP" day and changed my attitude to what's been happening..
It has been up and down, but there have a been a lot of ups happening now..i know have the cognitive power to sit through the anxiety (which has decreased in severity tremendously) and ride it out, the amount of time it takes is getting lower and lower.
I wrote down a number every day to track my progres starting out at 7 on teh day I said "STOP" and this is the first day i really feel at the end i'll be able to put down an 8.5..moving up from a lot fo 7.5 a few 8's but today is an 8.5 so far.
I no longer fear/fear, i've ridden out so many of these attacks I now need to jump out and face everything and ride those out..i'm ready to have my life back finally
man my muscles are so around my face/neck/shoulders...i'm hoping this is because they are relaxing....it causes my tension headaches and dizziness..but those are next to gone..and sleep takes care of anything left..
I'm sleeping better
I'm eating better
I'm enjoying going out again, even though it can be hard at times
I'm just writing this because I hope everyone reads the steps I took and builds up the courage...it has been the hardest bravest thing i've ever had to do in my life. I won't joke it is pure hell, and the pain gets so much worse before it goes better, because you have to face everything that has been avoided. But, i'm getting there..it may take a few more months before i'm back but i'm happy just to be here now typing this without wishing I could run home....
Hi Franklin
I really enjoy reading your post and am so pleased you are making such good progress, that goes for everyone else on this thread also.
This time last year I was a total wreck, couldn't do anything without being in a constant state of anxiety and panic, just walking down the garden made me a nervous wreck. I'm not saying I am cured yet but with the help of Claire Weeks books and tapes I have regained alot of my life back and have learned to deal with panic and now know how to see each attack through without running away. It's not easy, as you will know, but it does make life alot easier and far more enjoyable if you just accept face and float as she says. It took a while for me to understand this and at first I felt worse but I guess that was because I was putting myself in situations I had avoided for a long time. Claire Weeks was the only person who made me understand what I was going through and I am truley thankful to that woman.
I totally agree with you facing the anxiety and accepting it and putting yourself into situations that make you feel so uncomfortable is probably one of the hardest and bravest things that I have ever had to do and yes it does get worse before it gets better but I would adivse anyone wanting to regain there life to do it coz it makes you feel so dam good when you start to see the benefits of your hard work.
Keep up the hard work it is all worthwhile and I am truley pleased for you.
Love
Carol
xx
I am doing just the same and have been doing since New year when I decided enough was enough and I had to make the effort and REALLY try and be able to move around more freely. Every hour of every day is still tough but it really does work the more your accept it and ignore the firsts 'blips' of panic and carry on the easier it becomes.
I believe this is just a bad habit we have got ourselves into and like smoking or drugs we can 'quit' but it takes determination and lots of time.
I also now accept the setbacks as just that, take some rest from 'practicing' eat better, treat myself to some 'me' time and sleep well !!
Franklin you are an inspiration......well done !!
Christine xx :flowers:
franklin2003
08-03-08, 14:57
I'm sorry my last post was so messy, I was trying to crank it out quickly and forgot to review it!
Anyways i'm happy these posts are helping some people see this in a different light. As Christine writes it's not an illness of our body, it's an illness in the way we think. When we decide to think differently we can change. But, the challenge in this is breaking through that level of anxiety we live in every day and don't even realize it. The hormones and chemicals our bodies produce in the flight and flee response chemically incite us to think really fast about a lot of bad things. It's like finding Waldo in a busy crowd, there are tons of ways to distract you, but it takes a lot of focus to find the man and get yourself out of there.
One thing I have realized is it takes a fundamental shift in what we are doing today to change this. If your anxiety is high and you live with it every single minute of every day, you need to make the commitment to scale down your life for the next 3 months. You need to do less, sleep more, relax more, think less..you need to power down and let your body just heal. It's not a long term problem, a few months to get the rest of your life back is well worth it. Except we have kids, financial responsiblities, work, and all these other things. Really focus on getting these stressors down so you can let your body heal. Remember a lot of people experience anxiety when first trying to relax!!! That's how high we have it turned up, our body is set to that level, and we have to slowly bring down that temp.
What does healing feel like? It's your mind relaxing, your thoughts being less fearful, more rational. It just happens, your body and mind can reset themselves very quickly once they experience that calm. Remember the stress hormones in your body make you feel like you could never be normal again, take out those hormones and there is nothing to make you feel like you could never be normal again. You just are.
Again this all takes time, yesterday was the first time in a long time that I wanted to go out, that when the cold hit my face I didn't tense up, that on the walk home it was freezing, but I just walked home. I never thought I would see that again, but my body wasn't releasing those high octane stressors.
If you have any questions about recovery, steps, setbacks..feel free to post them. There are a lot of people that can respond. If you are still searching symptoms and doing all the negative things...and trying to recover at the same time. You need to stop and go a few days without doing those things. That's how you show your mind and body that there is nothing wrong with you. Accept what the future may bring, tensing your body and being scared won't stop the future. You can't physically or mentally stop things out of your control from happening.
HI Franklin, Glad you were able to walk home the other day. That was great. I dont have time for a full reply now but I will get back here later today or tomorrow ok.
Love Shirley
x x x
franklin2003
14-03-08, 01:09
This is my story the good and the bad..i've been having so much good lately...
But today was bad...the anxiety came roaring back...I'm writing this just to get my thoughts down now so that I can look back seeing I came through this.
I'm not calling this a setback, i still feel that I can back to where I was in those other posts with some relaxation and what not..
I've been going out and facing things I haven't in a while..and maybe that loose trigger acted up and released some extra hormones into my body...
It is what it is though you know...3 steps forward..1 step back..i still have the other two to hold on to..
This is such an odd thing...anxiety...it's so uncomfortable.....
I've experienced some peace for the last few weeks and I truly believe in my heart that my body needs to heal right now, like a cold, and there isn't much I can do about the way I feel now. A good night's sleep should hopefully help me heal...
I can't say i'm afraid of these symptoms...they are just very hard to continue to doing what you're doing when they're present...the breathing...that sour feeling in the body..
It's like trying to preform surgery on the space shuttle at launch....
Anyways, i've read enough times that this is apart of recovery so all I can do is accept it for what it is....
It hasn't hurt me yet, I can't imagine it will tonight and that's why i'm writing this..so tomorrow I will see another day and it hasn't hurt me....I hope you all are doing well...
Just let go...do the opposite of what your body says..and you will be cured.
franklin2003
14-03-08, 21:17
Just a quick update..
I'm here!! Just all the hangovers of anxiety with it..tense sore muscles..ugh
Oh well.. went for a nice walk...really a nice walk..no anxiety..just sore..ugh
Hopefully I can recoup this weekend and be back to previous times soon..just getting out there and facing it...a challenge...but I really don't fear anymore being out walking and having a panic attack..because I KNOW I can make it home if I need to...
It's been at work, in car, in a place where I can lay down and relax...and I feel like I can't breath, my body is sore..those are the challenges right now...
Any tips from people on how they cracked through this?
Another day of progress..just wanted to update that my body is a little sore, but i'm bouncing back...
Franklin
I enjoy reading your posts.i am using your approach totry to beat the anxiety and panic attac.ks but it is hard and like you I often feel I've taken one step forward and two steps back
What I am finding is that inviting the panic attacks to come on in and do their worst is preventing them. the continuing problem for me is stopping the anxious thoughts.so I'm in the strange situation of fearing the panic attacks which aren't happening anyway but
I can.t stop the fear!!
Hope you have a good weekend
John
franklin2003
16-03-08, 01:31
Thanks John for the comments and remember it's two steps forward one step back..not the other way around!
The anticipatory anxiety sucks, but it just takes a number of good days and good trips and good experiences and it lessens.
Just wanted to post an update after having a bad day a few days ago..i'm back to where I was actually feeling even better my anxiety levels at home have dropped to 0, when i'm out walking in the neighborhood ,probably a 2 and when out in the city probably a 2-4.
So it's progress and as my symptoms start to disappear or lessen i'm finding that it's more and more easier to start to move past this. I'm truly excited and ready to get out and do things with or without the anxiety. It just took going out there with a different mindset, the mindset that nothing will happen to me..nothing....and that's that....
I hope all is well in your recoveries, I love reading the success stories on this page and i'm begining to feel that in another month or so..I may be able to leave this forum for good...
Franklin and everyone
Thank you so much for this post you are saying so much sense and it means alot to me as lots of other people.
Can I ask some advice? I've had anxiety and pa's for years and years and really it's only been the last 5 months or so that I've made some significant improvements. I now know that it is possible to recover from anxiety and this alone had a huge impact on how I felt, a real shift. I also had some great advice about "being comfortable with the uncomfortable" which as you've also said is about not running away, now cowering but sitting with the feelings and realising they are feelings or thoughts only and they can't really hurt you.
This helped me so much and I was so full of hope (a good 9 out of 10) for the future that my anxiety lessened to such a degree that I could live fully and did so for a good 4 weeks of so recently. However, I've got a few beliefs and phobias and slowly they have kicked in a little. For example, my mom has been poorly for a very long time and we are finding it very hard to get a consultant/doctor who can really help. She's not been good recently and I take it all on board, I find it hard to switch off and I know I can't control it, I can only help but my emotions do what they've always done, they go out of sinc and my thoughts go over and over and I spend hours on the internet trying to find someone to help her. Then last night, after feeling tired, worrying about mom, other things I had full blown panic attacks which knocked me for six. Really nasty. After about 2 hours though I took control I think and I went to bed, opened the window and lay there and breathed and thought how well I've done recently and I managed a couple of hours sleep. The rest of the time I focussed on enjoying the mild night and listening to the birds this morning. This morning I got up, did everything I need to do, got myself together and came to work. Okay, had a little cry but determined again.
What I want to know is, does this sound like improvement to you? Am I doing the right things? I think I'm after reassurance if you wouldn't mind and any tips.
Thanks everyone.
Sarah x
franklin2003
17-03-08, 21:21
Sarah...thanks for the great comments I appreciate them.
Anxiety is a series of ups and downs..its no suprise that with your mother's condition that feelings come back like a wave...your body in the habit of just kicking out these excess hormones at will..a little bit of stress can go a long ways.
So I wouldn't say you failed or are back to square one, once you begin recovery you are never truly back at square one.
However, stress is stress and in a sensitized state it's just something you have to live with. But, there are things you can do, just looking at your post it seems like you began to obsess and stress yourself out way too much. When you feel that surge of anxiety and the symptoms, a feeling that you're losing out to the bodies hormones, it's time to stop and do something else if possible. I know your mother's health is important to you, but hours on the internet searching are fruitless because I can imagine your mind was running a mile a minute, your vision was blurry, you had a hard time breathing, you just feel ill..you were in no shape to deal with that stress.
You have to break the cycle..anxiety..symptoms..anxiety..thoughts..anxie ty... it goes around and around
This means relaxation and doing something else for a bit. Your body needs time to process the anxiety fuel and by not changing your thoughts and habits it just keeps being fueled. If possible I would recommend taking some extra time every day and doing some relaxation, letting your body go loose, doing some breathing exercises. Then I would implement a distraction something to take your mind off the stress and just accept that's how you're going to feel for an hour or two...or even maybe until tommorow.
You've made some good steps, you've demonstrated that you have the ability to bring down your symptoms. Remember that anxious thinking produces anxiety, so if you find yourself going down the road of worrying...tell yourself to STOP (as many times as you need to) and then reframe that worry.
In time as you become good at turning off that anxiety hose on your body, the symptoms will begin to disappear, and then they won't come as strong when you do need to handle stress. But it takes time..recovery is a very very long road of learning refocusing no positive experiences.
Good luck, if you have any questions feel free to post them. Happy to help.
Hi Franklin
Thanks so much for the reply. I've some good news. I was so tired yesterday but stuck it out at work. I went home and had a little sleep, picked up my son from school and came home and felt a bit wobbly so I did all the things I needed to do anyway, his tea, played with him, washing up etc and then I rested. Got into bed at about 8.30pm and read some info I've got on anxiety busting and focussed my mind on more positive issues. I relaxed, did a bit of breathing and I slept all night!!! I'm so proud of myself for having the blip, dealing with it and moving on bit by bit.
Your reply is helpful also thank you so much. Yes, I do obsess and want to fix the world and somehow need to come to terms with the fact that I can't fix my mom or anyone else and bit by bit I'm coming to terms with that. My goal is to be able to be okay when things aren't so okay and this i struggle with. I think it's because I have a belief which is "if everything's okay then I can cope" and that's not very helpful is it.
I agree with your ideas about relaxation and breathing and also to make my recovery a priority. I'm willing to do whatever it takes to recover and that is now my priority. I know it may take time and there are ups and downs but I'm on the road now and I'm heading for a good future.
How are you doing Franklin?
Hugs
Sarah x
franklin2003
18-03-08, 14:47
Hi Sarah....
You just wrote the most perfect post on how to recover, i'm so happy for you!
Even though you were tired at work you stayed - This demonstrates to yourself that you have the power to overcome the physical feelings of anxiety and get what needs to be done. You accepted your symptoms for what they were and in a rational way moved forward.
When you were able to demonstrate that, you then had the power to go home and do the things there and looking back at it, it wasn't as bad as it seemed at the time was it?
You then did some positive review work on anxiety, didn't obsess over it! (this is key because many people focus too much time on it), then you accepted again, let go and relaxed.
Wow fantastic!!! I hope everyone reads your post and at least today tries one of the things you did..just one of the things you did is a great step in recovery and you did so many!!
Like a cold, we can still function, but our body needs time to heal. If you replaced I had a cold and cough where you wrote anxiety, that's how you treated it. You did what you needed to do, you accepted it for what it was that it would bring no serious harm, and then you got some rest to allow your body to heal.
Keep up the great work! Live your life and your symptoms will disappear, change your outlook as you have stated and you will never face anxiety at this severity ever again..
Hi Franklin
It's so lovely to get replies from you. Your posts have encouraged me so much over the last few days. Thank you.
I DID do really well didn't I!? Even better than I thought actually and I am sooo proud. Can I tell you a bit more?
Yesterday I went to work again and carried on, did bits and pieces at work, a little more slowly than usual. In the afternoon I felt quite tired again and got a bit wobbly but I left work at the usual time, collected my son and focussed on seeing his little face coming out of school and the sun that was shining and the excited feelings I get now when I KNOW my future is going to be good and my low mood lifted. Last night I was going to the NEC with my sister and I did it. I printed out the route beforehand, picked her up, drove there, found it, stayed and came home again in the evening. The concert was average but I was so proud to have done that. I DID IT!
Today I've been okay. Bit wobbly and thoughts trying to creep in as seen mom and it upsets me and I just want to fix her because I love her but at the same time I've been okay and been okay is good. I don't have to be fantastic all the time, life doesn't have to be fantastic for it to be okay. I'm getting there.
Is this the sort of thing that you have done to recover?
Sarah x
franklin2003
19-03-08, 17:54
Sounds like a perfect strategy to me, you're going out and facing things on a daily basis. That's key, you need to make strides on good days and bad days, just to build the confidence on the bad days that you will survive no matter how painful and then when the good days come it reinforces that anxiety is just a harmless monster. Even though it has very true physical symptoms, it can bring no harm.
As for me i've been having good days, a hard day today because now i'm going into situations that I once avoided. I had a meeting with my boss today who I don't see more than a few times a year and it was very challenging to keep my focus. The panic was surging inside of me and there was that fear of just looking like a klutz. But underneath I knew this would bring me no harm, I was more fearful of letting the physical symptoms show (nervousness, the jittery, sweaty, can't sit still, shortness of words and breath) That was very hard, over an hour in that state. But i made it through, I had to go to a lunch and I just had to give in and take a xanax..it was just too important that I make a good impression. I took 1/2 a 1mg pill, it was enough to slow things down, make me tired, but able to perfrom. I really don't like taking medication, but I think in recovery where you need to face stressful situations for the first time and there is no easy escape, I see it as being a tool and not a dependency or cure. And when I looked at my journal the last one I took was exactly one month today. But that was in a situation where now I would be able to bring myself together without having to take it.
It's all about how we approach situations and in recovery it can be hard the first few times when we have to go in and face them. There is no doubt about it, it's going to be very hard to face things you've avoided for a long time, but you have to do them day after day after day after day. With the right attitude
"this will not harm me, even though I am uncomfortable I can still function, I have been through this many times and made it through, it will pass, I will focus on what I need to do if thinking is hard that's okay, I will feel good about myself after doing this"
day after day after day after day after day after day and then one day you go to do it and there is no anxiety..and that is key..that will reinforce that you can beat this thing. Even though it may return the next day, you now know that that situation was nothing more than overwhelming physical sensations. so you do it again the next day, and the next day, and the next day....
See my point?
There are no fast cures, there are no fast cures, there are no fast cures.
I'm living through this too, this is something i actively experience and have seen it work, I do understand how hard it is!!! Don't get me wrong, you will have symptoms when you face things you've had symptoms before, the key is now to change your attitude to them, the symptoms at first will not go away, but if you change your attitude things will improve.
There are no fast cures, there are no fast cures, there are no fast cures.
If you've been reading your 40th website on anxiety, your 1,132 time i researching your headache, muscle twiching, shortness of breath, cheast pain, weird thoughts, depersonalition..thinking something you read will trigger off the stress you are wrong. If you been seen by a doctor assured its anxiety, it's time to get out there implement these steps. Trust me I've been there, the only thing that is stopping you from recovery is not implementing the steps of recovery. Facing, accepting, letting time pass.
Sarah, this wasn't directed specifically towards you, you get it..you are well on your way, the only piece of advice i can give you now is to truly believe that what you are doing is right, don't second guess it. Go towards the panic, go towards the feelings, go towards them and allow it to do its very worst, but survive the fight still going towards it.
I know this is all hard and in the mist of anxiety I have a hard time doing it myself..but I am having few times in the mist of anxiety so I know this working.
If you have any more questions Sarah or just want to post an update on a great day or a slip up...i'd love to hear it. That is what this about, making record of where we suceed and then learning from when we don't have as much success...and then learning from it.
I want to write more about many of the fast acting cures to anxiety, things that people claim will reverse it, just to give an opinion. Maybe at a later time, I hope to hear from more people, I hope that even though you may be uncomfortable responding you find some help in this. Have a great day, I challenge you to face at least one of your fears and see if you can remain in the situation until the fear passes or even just lessens..use this to learn that your body can handle this and you will one day control it.
franklin2003
20-03-08, 01:41
Just an update after today's post..
Went back and had over an hour meeting with my boss..some anxiety but very little..i went back and faced it again just to knock down the anxiety...
Went driving on the freeway no issues, on the side roads absolutley no anxiety..
Went to a restaurant to celebrate that I haven't been to in months no anxiety..
Drive home no anxiety...
I do not fear this anxiety anymore..it cannot hurt me..and when my mindset is in this fashion I don't have anxiety...I have my life back most of the time and when I don't I patiently wait until it comes back....
Hi Franklin and others (please feel free anyone to join in, this is between just Franklin and I)
Thanks so much for the posts, the encouragement, the advice and lovely to hear how well you have been doing AGAIN!
I had a pretty tough day yesterday, I was so upset about my mom and cried alot at work. I still stayed though and worked the whole day. I was then meeting a friend after the kids finished school and I still went and still had a nice time and then came home, had a bit of tea and rested. Felt so much better later on when mom text me to say she was feeling a bit better.
This is a bit of a sticking point for me. My belief is that I can cope with anything as long as everyone I love/everything is okay. Once it goes out of sync I do too! I start to think how can I possibly be okay because XYZ is happening. I know it's so much healthier to enjoy today and not worry about tomorrow, I truly do but actually doing that is another thing. Do you think this is about changing thoughts also, bit by bit? For example, if I get a text from mom saying she's not very well should I think something different? Trouble is, its' not a very nice thing to hear so how can I be positive about it? I'm confused a little. Would love to hear some advice as to how to go about it if you can think of any.
Love
Sarah x
franklin2003
22-03-08, 04:40
Hi Sarah good to hear from you again...
Have you ever tried to challenge those thoughts, by surrending to them. And by surrending I mean just letting your body go towards everything with the thought I will let what will happen..happen? It's a very challenging thing to do with people who experience anxiety, to just allow your body to go limp and allow what will come to them come. When experiencing anxiety the thought is to hold on tight because we must protect ourselves from what will happen.
I understand how these thoughts can grab ahold of you and drive you down, try allowing these thoughts to come and accepting them. At first you can't change these thoughts your mind is in the habit of going towards them. You're mother being ill and having an impact on you is normal..in fact anyone in your situation would experiece the same emotions, feelings, and thoughts you are. Who could be positive about it?
But what you can do is put it into perspective, you can't change the situation, you don't have the power to heal the situation. I find something that works a lot is stopping the thoughts of obession. This is done by simply telling yourself to STOP and then telling yourself the honest truth.
My mother is ill
I must do something to fix this, I have to do something to fix this!!
STOP!
I cannot change the circumstance, but I can be a postive force of comfort for my mother....
But what if things change, what if she needs me now, what if she asks me to help find treatment...
STOP!
I can help her, I can be a source of comfort for her, but there are things out of my control I can not change and I must accept this...
What if...
STOP!
I need to be a source of comfort for my mother, this is the best I can do...
See the pattern, when the mind starts to go down a path of unreleastic expecations and thoughts we have the power to stop it and go towards something else...
It may take all day to do this, but we begin to train our mind to follow a healthy path of healthy thoughts and expecations..they don't necessarily have to be positive..all is well I am happy..no one can expect this..but we can reframe our thoughts to more realstic expecations...
Stress is stress...it's a very human experience, but in anxiety we allow it to become the overiding experience and allow it to control our thoughts and emotions..
Spend time with your mother, spend time helping her...but also spend time with your child and things you enjoy...try to find a balance, when you feel yourself slipping into anxiety over this issue allow yourself to do something else for a bit and then revisit it...you can't change this overnight, but if you go through it with the right attitude you'll find it isn't as overwhelming as it seems...
I hope this helps have a good day!
pink daisy
22-03-08, 09:59
Hi Franklin
First I'd like to say thankyou for your reply on my driving thread.
plus I wanted to ask you if you made CBT aproaches to your recovery? I am more confident in driving alone now and feel more in controll if panic starts..
But havent got the same confidence in starting to walk even a little distance from the car :weep:
I suffer from Agoraphobia and my house and car r my big safty things really and walking like 20 steps or a little futher just scares me as I feel so out of controll :shrug: Did you find that the more you did, the other things thas were harder to try cos anxiety was so severe just got easier?
Daisy xx
Hi Franklin and everyone (SORRY MEANT TO SAY IN MY LAST POST THAT THIS ISN'T JUST BETWEEN ME AND FRANKLIN PLEASE JOIN IN)
Thank you so much. I've found myself in tears over your post, it's soooo helpful and soooo full of caring that I'm just so touched.
How did you get to be so knowledgable? Your suggestions seem to be the suggestions of an expert!
The line where you say that I can be a positive force of comfort to my mother IS positive isn't it, I can be. I like that alot and it makes somuch sense. My negative thoughts have been so powerful over the years that I'd like to find ways to change them as your suggestions are excellent and those are the sorts of things I'd like to be able to come up with. I wonder if there's a book anywhere that guides you to changing your thoughts and ideas to come up with?
At the moment I see mom and it effects me for the rest of the day so that when I'm playing or doing things with my little boy my heart isn't in it, as the mom thing has affected me. BUT what I can do then is be happy with playing with my little boy and doing things I enjoy and then when I get to spend time with mom my happy thoughts and feelings will continue? Is this the right sort of thing do you think?
Thanks again.
Sarah x
franklin2003
22-03-08, 16:13
Hi Sarah-
I don't claim to be an expert, i'm just telling you what has helped me in my pursuit to get better. The only two things that have really helped me is Claire Weekes and anxietycentre.com both take a self-recovery approach and teach you to empower yourself to overcome anxiety...
I see great beneift in turning towards your son as a form of distraction away from any problems you face. Spending healthy time with him in and outside of the home makes senes to me. He brings you great joy and those are the things you focus on in your recovery. This probably empowers you to deal with the stress of your mother's illness better. You can bring that positive energy to your mother that is probably the best things you can do for her now.
Have you thought about doing things for your mother that are outside of her health issues. You stated before you get into an obessive state in trying to find something for her. Instead maybe you can take those energies and do something positive for her. Does she have a hobby, enjoy a certain food, is there something you can bring to her that will lift her spirits. Not only will this make your mother feel good, but those emotions will also lift your spirts and serve as a distraction to your negative thoughts. Plus you'll actually be doing something constructive for her and this will help beat down those thoughts and feelings that you cannot help her. You will find you can....
franklin2003
22-03-08, 16:28
Hi Daisy - (Sarah I have a response to your question on the previous post)
Great job again for getting out there and facing your fears...
As to your questions on CBT and your successes...
What is so very simple (yet so hard at first) to your question is that you already know how to cure yourself yet you have a lot of doubt and apprehension. And that's okay!! Your now driving, you faced those fears and no harm came correct, what is it about walking that is different about driving in having the same result of decreasing anxiety....???
Nothing!! You use the same approach you did to your driving with your walking.
The first thing you need to come terms with is that there are no safety spots that will cure your anxiety. You feel lessened effects of anxiety in your home, car, and what not because you change the way you think when you're in these places..
Let's look at it for what it is..is there something magical cure that exists in your car or home that cures your anxiety? Maybe the air has a special compound in them that takes away your anxiety?
Of course not!
Of course I understand that these are places you go to because you feel safe and I understand also their importance to you in your anxiety state, i'm not making fun of you or your thoughts I had many of them myself! But, we need to look at these "safe places" and change your attitude towards them. If I can find comfort in my car and home, why can't I take that same approach to walking down the block or walking into a store?
In a car or at home you have a form of escape from your thoughts that create anxiety....
Well what is anxiety again? It's a hightened emotional and physical state that our bodies use to get us to do something! To run away to safe places, up the tree to get away from the Lion chasing us, to our cave to get away from the storm, to our cars and homes...because?????...wait...there are no tigers, we have umbrellas, there is no one chasing us causing us harm..but our bodies are telling us there is!
So how do you "cure" this? You change your mindset to it, you do the exact opposite of what you want to do, RUN!, and you tell yourself over and over..if I relax...if I stop these thoughts..if I just stay here...NOTHING will happen to me..NOTHING...I am fine, I am in control...
At first this is pretty hard, because you have very little to look towards as support to know you will be okay..because so many times you have RUN!!!!
So the first time you take some short distance from your car or home you are going to feel nervier than ever..so have a plan. Decide today that I will walk to the end of the block. Slowly....very important to go slow...
I will then get to the end of the block and stop...and wait...for 2 minutes..at the same time I will tell myself..I am okay, relax, anxiety cannot hurt you..I am okay, relax, anxiety cannot hurt you..and then maybe enjoy that you are away and still alive!!!
After 2 minutes walk back to your home or car..slowly! and then relax...get out a good book, listen to some music, do some mediation..because chances are your body is raging with fear hormones and the best thing to do is demonstrate to yourself that they will pass when you are ready to allow them to...
Then when you feel better..do it again...and again...and again..and again....but you don't have to be 100% better, sometimes it is good to go out when you have anxiety, because it demonstrates that you can do it with or without anxiety.
You'll find that when you get to the end of the block you'll be so excited at some point you'll want to go even further, then you'll go further, then you'll go further..and then you are cured.
We need to retrain our thoughts about whatanxiety is ,then we need to go out and demonstrate to our bodies what our thoughts are, because your body is very much in the habit if shooting high octane stress the moment you leave the safe spot, you need to retrain it to not do that. The only way you can do this is by having a positive attitude and going out and facing the worst of your anxiety, thus building up the experience that it will bring you no harm, that it is a feeling that will pass..
You will have your life back again!
pink daisy
22-03-08, 21:02
Hi Franklin
Thanks for the reply, it does make sence i just have to keep trying.
Do u want to come and live me and get me through this!! lol
franklin2003
27-03-08, 01:10
I wish I could meet every single one of you, i'm so proud....
How is everyone doing, anyone else have some success going out and facing their fears..do share!
Hi All Of You, I Dont Get On The Site Much But Today This Wee Gem Of A Post Found Me Just When I Needed It
Basically The Last Few Months Have Been Extremely Tough. Even Though I Have Found Meditation And Yoga Of Great Help My Anxiety Has Ironically Got Worse
I Have Felt Like Giving Up, My Thoughts Are All Negative And I Have Lost Myself To Anxiety.
So I Picked Up My Faithful Claire Weekes Book, And Am Trying To Do What Has Always Scared Me, Accept, Face Pass Through The Eye Of The Storm, Let It Do Its Worst. And Now I Find This Post And You Are All Trying To Do The Same
I Hope I Am Not Intruding And I Also Hope I Can Get On Site More As I Feel This Could Be Just The Help We All Need
I Hope I Can Do It, I Just Seem To Fail Every Time I Try To Accept The Feelings Of Anxiety And Agitation
Can I Join This Road Please
Jackie
Hi Franklin Jackie and all
Lovely to hear from you Jackie. I've had some great advice about facing my fears. It's basically what Franklin has been talking about which is accepting but the words used are slightly different. You sit in a quiet room, get comfy, take a few deep breaths and if you can close your eyes. Then focus on the feeling most prominent whatever that may be, a symptom or a feeling and just be. There's no agenda, no intention to change anything you are just being with the uncomfortable feeling. Do this little and often and you will begin to be with yourself unconditionally. Say to your feeling over and over and mean it sincerely, "I understand and accept that you have been angry/afraid/scared whatever it is for so long". You will need to be brave and do this but this is being comfortable with being uncomfortable. Remember, anxiety is a symptom or often many many symptoms but that is all, just symptoms, it doesn't mean you are broken.
This is something I am doing, little and often, every day for as long as I have to. Remember, there's no agenda, just sit with the feeling.
How are you Franklin also?
Hugs
Sarah xxx
PS: Jackie - you are not intruding of course not! Lovely to hear from you. x
franklin2003
28-03-08, 22:32
I'm doing great...0 anxiety...0!!!!! anxiety!!! 0....i went on the longest walk today...a looooooooonnnnnnngggg walk...something I would never had been able to do even 3 weeks ago...
I lived my life..like a normal person..like I used to...
Anyone who has read this post long enough knows it hasn't been hunky doory..in fact the start of this post goes back to sometime in February I think..when I still had full blown anxiety..I had just decided to stop letting it control my life...
I have an upper respitory something or another..it makes me feel tired and like crap...
But read above I went on a loooooooonnnnnnnngggg walk today...yeah that simple...
It hasn't been easy to get here..I have had a few bad days earlier this week..high anxiety just not feeling good..but i've been going out everyday. Every day....every day...regardless of how I felt..because how I felt in no way could prevent me from what I could do..
My body is still in the recovery phase I imagine it will take a lot of days like today to get me back to 100% but I 100% believe now that I can get there..because even on my bad days..I know I can accept them and wait until they pass..sometimes its not until the next day but they always do...ALWAYS DO!
This has been an incredibly hard journey...very hard...I cannot stress how much I felt like many of you...I cannot stress enough how I thought it would never get better and I felt as though I just exist.
I am here to tell you whenever you are ready...whenever...you can recover...
I don't know I can say anymore other than it's just a change in your attitude in panic..it's the acceptance that if panic is going to kill you today you are okay with it...that's right..if panic is going to kill you today..i was ready to go..
Not depressing..because it was like sitting at a blackjack table with $2000 and you have 21...you can't lose..panic can't kill you..you will always win at this bet..
Anyways i'll post more later, if you're interested in seeing how I recovered please see the previous posts..and then if you are resigned to having panic for the rest of your life..i say give yourself just 6 months and bring yourself through the hell of facing it and getting your life back..and then let me know...
franklin2003
29-03-08, 20:23
Another day of anxiety at levels form 0 to 1...
I don't really know if I should continue to post on this forum because I really don't have anything more to say... I love to read posts where people have implemented these steps and are seeing success..that's such a high for me
I also love to read the questions that you post because I believe the solution is very simple when it comes to anxiety..
I browse these forums somewhat and I think everyone experiences anxiety for many different reasons..that's why its very hard for someone who even has anxiety to empathize with the persons thought process that leads them into this habit...
As for medication, I read a lot of people searching for these magic herbal cures or prescriptions that will take them back to "normal"...I believe that in some ways that these things can assist you in your recovery. I did begin to eat better and I also started taking a basic multivitamin, I also had Xanax available to me, but I took it very rarely in only situations where anxiety overwhelmed me and i HAD to perfrom...
Really what these medications do is relieve you from the anxiety so that you can perform, but what's important that many people on here miss and go thorugh hell of medications that don't work and/or have ugly side effects is that the only way you will have recovery is if you change your attitude. I read all these posts about people who are trying numerous types of medication in hopes that it will take away the symptoms and heal them. The truth is you have to come to the acceptance that your symptoms are nothing more than physical feelings...
But people say..yes its those physical feelings that make me so anxious and scared!!!....
Right...and that's why you have anxiety...you're scared of physical symptoms that cannot harm you, but you think that they can...
So many times people take medications that may make them feel better, but their habits remain.."What if..." "Oh my god..." "How can I..."
People have asked me how does CBT work, what do I need to do? The truth is CBT is very simple, but it's not a magic potion where you tap your shoe, blink your eyes, and walk 3 steps..and your cured. CBT is the process of recreating habits where you are in a physical emotion and you mentally do the opposite of what that physical emotion is telling you...
Heart begins pounding....
"Oh my god my heart is pounding what if this is a heart it attack..it stops and I die, what is going to happen I must get home to rest this pounding heart, I HAVE TO GET HOME NOW! OH MY GOD!!!! IT'S POUNDING HARDER..ANY SECOND NOW I WILL DIE..OH MY GOD!!!! MY FACE IS SO HOT I CAN'T BREATH..WHAT IF I SUFFICATE..OH MY GOD I'M SO DIZZY..I CAN'T FOCUS...IT'S POUNDING HARDER!!!....THIS IS AWFUL..THIS IS TERRIBLE...OH PLEASE STOP....I'LL DO ANYTHING..."
that is anxiety thinking turning into a panic attack...
CBT solutions
Heart beings pounding....
"My heart is pounding.....the heart is very strong and this is a normal reaction to stress hormones, my body is over reacting...am I safe? Of course I am..I should look around does anyone else sense danager at this time..No..this means that my body is over reacting to stress.
It's pounding harder..and I feel somewhat dizzy, and it is hard to breath...
These are all normal stress respones..the situation I am in is okay, I will be okay, I remember I've exprienced these emotions before. I have to admit this does not feel good, but I should remember that at this point I can safely relax...I will go for walk down to get the mail and back..then I'll have a short read of it..then i'll lay down for a few minutes...
It's begining to not be so bad, my heart has slowed down but I still feel somewhat out of breath...
That's okay my body has plenty of oxygen, the doctor told me that the last time I was in, said I was perfectly healthy...I'll just go about reading the mail..
30 minutes later
Wow..it did pass..good for me!!! I was able to ride it out now I can continue to do what I was doing..maybe i'll go for a short walk with my friends..to use up those extra stress hormones...I will remember this next time it happens that nothing happend
Yep..that's it, but I guarantee you that you will have another anxiety attack at some point..it's 98% certain that this episode will not be the last if its your first time trying CBT..but notice how I went through it..I had the symptoms but I allowed them to come..and I allowed them to pass..then I reinforced my ability to sit through them without resorting to running home or doing anything else that reinforces that I am not safe...
You have to do this over and over for a period of probably months..if your anxiety is low it may just be a few weekes..but my guess it will take a person who has never done this before about 6 months to fully recover. Why? because at first you will attempt to do it, but probably still subcome and panic..and that's okay..as soon as you begin to change your attitude towards panic you are 75% on the way to recovery.
Remember my first post when I said I was cured? I was cured but I was not symptom free..I just had realized that day that doing absolutley nothing when panic happend..was the only way to retrain my thoughts and body to do nothing when panic is not an appropriate response..
Going back to medication...
Medication many times will help with your symptoms and it's a great tool in recovery when you allow it bring your symtpoms down so that you can at least practice controlling the anxiety..in some people anxiety is just to much to do anything..and you need to bring the anxiety down somewhat so that you can at least get into the situation and experience existing with anxiety, allowing it to pass, and then continuing to do the things you want/need to do..
Always work with your doctor/theripist and discuss with them the treatment options available to you ,as I mentioned before anxiety is different to each person and the reasons that lead up to it can be very different so it's important to discuss this with someone who is trained to analyze your situation. But, I truly believe that these techniques will work, and I believe in the majority of cases a doctor would approve of the things I discuss above..
I hope you find this of use, and I hope that more of you post your success and questions in failure. But, embrace failure and embrace anxiety it's the only ONLY way that you will ever become anxiety free, you need to learn how to become master and must fall off the bike many many times before you have the courage to ride that bike any day any night...
I wish you well..hope to hear from you soon, because I don't have much to talk about anymore!
Hi Franklin and everyone
Thanks Franklin for your all your help. You are so brave and have persevered and so many many congratulations to you for your recovery.
I've been interested in CBT for a long time but have been stuck in actually HOW to do it. Just change your thoughts I've been told over and over but HOW!!! I've found a really good website called threeminutetherapy.com which is basically a book that you can order BUT there are some chapters on the website that you can read through and which tell you how to complete the exercise you and gives you many examples of others who have gone through similar situations to us and how they went through the process of CBT exercises to help them.
If anyone's interested then have a look. I'd be really interested to hear what you think. I've ordered the book but have found the website very helpful already.
Sarah x
franklin2003
06-04-08, 01:10
You know i'm making strides every day, i have near 0 anxiety..but I must face all situations that made me anxious over and over agian..and i'm branching out to my more larger fears and it's a battle, but i'm going through them with the physical symptoms but with very little to no anxiety..because I know Anxiety cannot hurt me..i truly believe that now..it feels terrible but i've witnessed that if i go into the situation over and over again it goes away..
It's actually quite simple it just takes a lot of practice every single day..
:yesyes: :hugs: :flowers: :yahoo: hi franklin, i have only just seen this thread - i dont understand how i missed it!:doh: i havent read all of it because at 7 pages it is pretty long - but i wanted to say im sooooo glad you posted this thread in the first place to show how this problem can be over come from within and how empowering that is!!!! it seems that plenty of people agree with you that the way you are tackling your anxiety is infact the most positive way of going about it, and you have suffered and you continue to suffer but you get a great deal of confidence from facing up to a life with anxiety than you did from a life lead in fear of anxiety - well done to you and im sooo pleased for you that you have made this very important breakthrough and tha tyou are helping others to see that thye can make it too - almost alone without depending on anyone or anything:yesyes: so thankyou and well done again:bighug1:
:hugs: :yesyes: :yahoo: :D hi to all the guys and anyone else following this thread - can i just say to you daisy that what franklin is talking about in great detail and length - thankyou franklin! - is cbt - he is re-training his thoughts and he is doing things continually that make him feel anxious so tha the can say all different things to himself while he is feeling crap - so instead of feeling yuk and trying to find ways of avoiding that feeling he has continaully faces it but he has changed what he is saying to himself - this is cbt!!!! and we are almost always doing it ourselves anyway even if we were left to our own devices - this is what claire weekes did - she suffered herself, she worked out how to stop it an dthen she shared it with everyone else - because she was a doctor obviously this was easier for her than if say an ordinary person had tried to tell this to the world.also this was at a time when women in particualar were being given tranquilisers like sweets for things like 'nerves' or 'womens problems' - so that would be pms then?
also to the lady whos mum is sick and you find yourself going off into a scary world of what ifs? this is a really hard time for you and you are doing better with this anx than you could possibly imagine - im not saying anybodys suffering isnt genuine - it is i know coz i suffer too - but the stress of a loved one being sick is more real than the fear of fear itself and you are still doing brilliantly well to cope with work, your son, socialising and still finding time to see the world in a positive light - like you said you felt happy to see your sons face and to see the sun? i know how hard it is to cope when someone is sick, buts thats all you can do - cope as well as you can - and apply the same tecniques franklin is discussing to your what if? thoghts regarding your mum's illness - try to stay away from thinking too far ahead and use the distraction tecniques and relaxation to keep you calm and focused and rational while you deal with this very emotionally upsetting time - whateve rthe oputcome you have the mental and emotioanl power to deal with it! tkae care ALL, and well done for keeping it all up, when it gets soooo tiring and painful:hugs: respect to you all, emma:yahoo:
bluebell68
06-04-08, 11:43
Franklin...... you are so right .... i had accute anxiety two years ago and it has just reoccurred but i know now that i can beat it, it just takes time. My moto is "activity is the enemy of anxiety" the more active i am the less the anxiety can take hold..at the hieght of an attack, instead of all that "fight or flee" adrenalin just coursing thru my body with nothing to do but make my heart race and body shake...i give it something to do ... i just get up and do something...anything... i clean the kitchen or sort some cupboards out, pull some weeds in the garden, put on MTV and dance like an idiot....anything at all will work... its hard at first cos my body just wants me to curl up in a ball, but i force myself to focus on the activity .. i burn off some of that adrenalin and the panic attack/anxiety starts to deminish.. it works... it really does....
Activity is the enemy of anxiety!!..... we can all beat this.
Bluebell68 :yesyes:
franklin2003
06-04-08, 20:15
Isn't it odd that with anxiety if we just got up and did something anything we think we couldn't do at that moment because we are going to fall, pass out, make a fool of ourselves, kill ourselves, stress our body to have a heart attack, stroke, seizure...we just got up and said..okay if i'm going to do any of those things i'm ready for it...bring it to me...kill me...hurt me...bring me pain..and we did something as simple as walk across the room and maybe make a sandwhich..we could find that we could function so well...even if you just lay down..and rather than rolling up into a ball...make your body do the opposite and go loose..
Our anxiety would be cured...
I have to admit last night I almost had a full blown panic attack...I was out all day doing new things I hadn't done in a while..and it does increase anxiety...and your body may fire up and shoot you into hyperventilzation (as was the case) but I did just what I said today..."well if i'm going to stop breathing..it might as well be today, because i'm sick of worrying about it happening everyday..." and then I relaxed my body...and it sucked..no joke..I felt terrible..but it went away a lot faster than if i had just worried about it...so mr body..if you decide today you want me to pass out, have a heart attack, or stop breathing..i'm okay with that....
Another inspirational post and so right.You've just got to face it- it's the only way!!
Thankyou
John
"well if i'm going to stop breathing..it might as well be today, because i'm sick of worrying about it happening everyday..." and then I relaxed my body...and it sucked..no joke..I felt terrible..but it went away a lot faster than if i had just worried about it...so mr body..if you decide today you want me to pass out, have a heart attack, or stop breathing..i'm okay with that...."
Never a truer word spoken. BRING IT ON!
:yahoo: HERE HERE FRANKLIN!!!!!!:shades:
franklin2003
18-04-08, 16:56
Anxiety can be overcome without the help of medication.
However we have been blessed to live in an age where medication can be used as a tool to help assist our recovery faster and longer lasting.
This is a discussion you should have with a psychitrist and what's important to remember is that these people are trained with the knowledge to treat our condition. If you find they are not as knowledgeable as you would like then find someone else. But trust their decision and opinion more than anyone else. They are a voice of reason when we are in a cloud of doubt. Anxiety can effect the way you reason and make decisions so it's important to have someone you trust in a corner that can assist you.
50-60% of people who overcome anxiety do so by using both medication and CBT. While CBT can solve your problems medication can assist in getting over that first hump and keep the symptoms low so that you can go out and build up that confidence in the world again.
Doctors who are not trainined in mental health will often just prescribe medication because they lack the training and knowledge. Remember a doctor's job is to assess and treat organic conditions in our body, they are accomsted to treating us when we have conditions that require us to be treated with medication. Mental health is a complety different subject matter and the only experts are those who are trained to understand and treat the issue.
In reality Mental Health and Physical Health..it doesn't matter which category we fall under when either is not optimal our quality of life suffers. In our society though they are accepted differently and they shouldn't be. People with high cholestrol need to make both behavioral and sometimes medical changes to deal with the issue. They may need to excerise more and take medication to bring it down. Once they have gotten into the behavior of exercising and eating right they can often get off the medication after it has assisted them in bringing down the high cholestrol.
Put this in perspective of anxiety, we need to change our behaviors while at the same time sometimes taking medication. The medication assists us in bringing the anxiety level down and can be discontinued once we have learned the behaviors to keep it down. The person with high cholestrol has exercised, we have learned to fear our world and symptoms less.
The important thing to remember is that if we do nothing, it will only get worse. Our cholestrol will get higher our anxiety will get higher and eventually both can limit our lives severely.
In closing if you are against medciation in all forms, that's fine...almost all doctors will also tell you that's fine, because anxiety can't hurt you it just makes you feel bad. You could go through the rest of your life with panic attacks and while it would be miserable you wouldn't die. However, to overcome this (and it can be overcome) you need to practice every single day the techniques to overcome anxiety. Everyday. At the end of the day that's your decision. But, if you are afraid of the side effects or other things of medication have a talk with your doctor. Really anxiety sucks and truly if side effects are going to exist for a week or two to acheive a lifetime of no anxiety disorder I will make that tradeoff. 2 weeks versus the rest of my life are important. But at the same time in conjuction with the medication you must practice every single day.
It saddens me to read some of these forums of people who suffer, some are new to this, many are not. It's important to know that 90% of people with help recover from this illness..90%...that's pretty good odds. I hope today you start to change your attitude of one fear to one of acceptance. Then do what you must.
Hi Franklin
Im so pleased for you that you have found something that works for you and I hope anyone reading this will try and do it.
You have started a very good thread that Im sure you will be an insiration to alot of people out there.
keep us informed how you are going.
Take care of you
Smudgie
franklin2003
19-04-08, 17:00
Just an update as you can probably guess from my previous post I've decided to take medication. Ativan and Zoloft. I feel at this point that I have come to terms with what anxiety is, something that cannot kill me, and I have no fear of taking these medications. Where a few months ago I would have been freaked out at the through of an antidepressent and what not, I have grown to learn what these things really are. At this point i see anxiety has not growing from my fears, but growing from a behavioral habit to trigger and overanxious endocrince system. So it must be retrained, it's time to get on with my life, and I think medication is the next best step in my ability to recover from this. The psychitrist had no doubt in her mind that a 6 month treatment should yield a lifetime of results.
That's all i'll post for now, if things change i'll post..but I feel like these are the last days.
:yesyes: :hugs: all the best to you franklin:yesyes:
franklin2003
02-05-08, 22:02
Well Everyone..2 weeks on the Zoloft..its begining to work, i'm feeeling really really good...this is it..i'm done...my last post. Its been a hard journey but I no longer have the overwhelming anxiety and panic I once did. My life is just normal. I'm coming back to post one last time. I'm on the Zoloft if anyone has any questions let me know, but along with the work i've done..everyone is okay. I'm happy now I can do anything ANYTHING!
Thats great bud! Hope all goes well for you in the future..
Just remember you are always welcome here :D Take care!
franklin2003
24-06-08, 04:30
Just wanted to post an update to give courage to others, I'm still doing great, I do have moments of anxiety, but my agorophobia and panic attacks have ceased. It's a long road of acceptance and i feel as though i've made it through a long dark tunnel. I'm happy i'm able to do the many things i once did and when anxiety strikes i've just been able to handle it. I take about .5 mg of Ativan a day sometimes 1 mg on a bad day. It helps take the edge off, I've never felt the need to increase it any further.
I sometimes think I waited too long to try medication to manage this, but at the same time i'm happy I did live through it because i've built up so much knowledge about how panic can't hurt me. I don't know how to describe it, but there was just a point where I felt anxious, but I didn't feel as though today was the day I was going to die or pass out.
I wish you all the best of luck, medication was a tough decision for me, but i'm glad i've done. I've had little to no side effects and i'm so much better on it than off of it. I think it's important to figure out how you are going to get better. It can take a really long time to get there (for me a year) but you can. I wish you all the best!
I'm so annoyed i've only just found this thread! It is so inspiring!!! I haven't even had a chance to read it all (as I only have the internet at work), but I have made a few notes to myself to read tonight (when my panics are there worst), and hopefully it'll help! I do pole dancing (FOR FITNESS), and I think tonight, if I panic, I will go and pole dance rather than sit and shake and see what happens then!
Thanks Franklin.
Hope everyone else is getting on well. Sorry I didn't have a chance to read everyone's posts thoroughly.
xxxx
franklin2003
03-07-08, 04:14
Thanks for posting Kate, I'm glad that you find it helpful!!! It's always great to hear.
I'm doing very well, very much back to my old self which I never thought would happen!! The best part is that the anxious thoughts that I once had are now in the past, using the techniques I learned in therapy along with the medication I've turned it, and i've been cured.
I do have some days where anxiety is a little strong, but nothing near what you would have read in my previous posts...I can do anything anytime anywhere, by myself, with others doesn't matter.
I credit and standby everything I talked about in my previous posts..I think the positive thinking along with the medication has helped have a whole new outlook.
These posts go back to the begining of the year, i've suffered with panic disorder with agorphobia and generalized anxiety for about a year. But from the moment i discovered and ACCEPTED what it was, i've been on a path of recovery. I no longer fear ever have a panic attack or anxiety attack again. I can't explain, I just feel more in control. Best of luck, if you have any quetions please feel free to post!
BLONDE PANIC
03-07-08, 23:02
what a great post franklin!!
i have been trying this approch, i've been reading a book by dr claire weekes and her teachings are very like what you discribe! by letting panic come willingly! loosen, accept, float and let time pass! it is very difficult to do but i think it is the only way to fully recover and get back control off your life! for good!! because when panic no longer matters you'll have peace!!!
Franklin You are spot on.Acceptance is the key,it breaks the fear adrenalin fear cycle.Claire weeks expalins this beautifully and I was gifted 2 of her books by a member caller Krakers from the site.
I now wish to pass the books on to anyone who would like them for free.
I am also reading a book right now that I believe will free me for ever.
THE POWER OF NOW by Eckhart Tolle.
Knowlege is the key to cure from this anxiety thing and like Franklin I am well on the way to success.It's knowing how to deal with the rough and tough events of life that I am working on now.
HEAL YOUR LIFE by Louise Hay is another inspirational piece of work.
please feel free to email me at tamo2007@hotmail.co.uk and I will send you Claire weeks books.
I am also open to any suggestions from other members and feel free to add me to MSN
:) hi tamo, i have read the power of now, and i was really inspired by it, but i failed to actually get any benefit from the philosophy, life just seems to get in the way!!!!! but i have found mindfulness more beneficial,(alot of others ppl use it on here aswell) with mindfulness i dont have to stay permanently in the present which i found so difficult - i can think about the past and the future and just accept what i am feeling without judegment which i find much easier to do?
Lindalou64
19-08-08, 13:30
Just Read All These Post, Good For You Frankie And Everyone Else For Accepting, And Keep On Going With This, Dont Let It Beat You , It Is Hard But Can Be Done, I Wish Yas All The Best, Linda X0x0x0
Captain America
19-08-08, 14:53
yes i agree this has worked for me for the situation stuff...like going to a carnival or dealing with a rapid heartbeat. but i haven't yet found a way to apply this to my health anxiety. any ideas on how to do that i'd love to try.
:) i am currently suffering health related anxiety due to having a missed miscarriage and having to have a small op for the first time in my life - im 36! and i was terrified - i was convinced i would die! and i am still not feeling okay and i wont go back to work, and im taking antibiotics that im frightened of!!!! however the only time i get any relief is when i 'accept' that i cannot control what is happening in my body and i never will be able to! i beleive that health anxiety comes from a fear of death - well it does for me anyway - so every time something happens to me, i dont think 'okay, i have a problem, the docs will sort it out, and ill be okay' i think 'i have a problem and this is going to result in my death, and im too young to die, and i dont want to leave my daughter without a mum, and i havent got over my fear of living and i want to before i die'!!!! it is always sooooo extreme, its always the worst case scenario. and that does happen to ppl and one day somehting will happen to us, we may not be sick but we will die. so i think you just have to do the same for health anx - ACCEPT - but i sometimes think its harder because i think the fear of death is harder to deal with and to accept?
Yes this is the cure and I also have found success this way. Its the concept outlined in the writings of Dr Claire Weekes. Any of her books will explain this recovery technique. Once I had mastered the true art of acceptance I only had to wait for my sensitized nerves to calm down. Acceptance is giving in and giving in to the fear takes away its fuel - adrenalyn. Eventually your nerves react more normally. Recognizing negative thought processes is also important. Realizing my thoughts always assume the worst and pro-actively changing them - finding a less pessimistic view of the world.
Initially I've also used diazapam and beta blockers to help me face my fears but now I can float through these situations unaided. The fear has dissipated and recovery is on the other side of panic.
franklin2003
28-08-08, 18:34
Hi everyone!!!!!!!!!!
Just wanted to leave a post to let you know how well I have been. I've recently been travelling and was promoted in my job!!!
I haven't had a panic attack in a very very long time and I can do the things I want to do!
Acceptance truly did get me through this and it took me much longer than I ever thought it would, but I am better for it.
I am still on medication, I currently take 150 mg of Zoloft and .5 Mg once a day if I feel tense of Ativan.
This combination of medication and acceptance has snuffed out all anxiety, I truly don't believe I will ever suffer from the thoughts of anxiety again, the physical symptoms are all but gone. I can deal with stress much better;
I was a strong hold out to medication, I think I really feared what it would do to me, that I would become addicted. Truth is the medication helped me to do the things I had been practicing and reinforced them. Some may say, hey but you are still on the Ativan, true I do take it when I feel "tense" (I could proabably make it through without, but it helps me keep my focus at work) but it's limited to .5 MG once a day and I wait to take until I feel I should. I'm happy with both my practice and medication and as long as my doctor feels comfortable, I have no reason to worry.
I know how terrible of a hole anxiety, panic attacks, and the whole lot are. I know how lost it can feel that you are disconnected with anything and everyone around. But, I am proof positive, that with the right attitude and approach you can get past it.
good for you franklin i said stop two days ago and i feel a lot better for it since i said it my anxiety has stopped in the house well not stopped but its stopped bothering me:D i have read all this thread and it has been such an inspiration to follow ur journey! well today i plan to go out just a short walk on my own i am nervous thinking about it but i Will do it !!! i will be back later to say how i got on:yesyes:
well i went out walked to the shop came back put my shopping in then went a walk to the park and i felt fine a few wobbles but i just floated past them it really does work i suggest to anybody to go out and get claire weekes book such a help just say stop x
Snoopy1980
21-09-08, 01:43
Hi Franklin & all you brave people :)
Can I please ask you something?
Can I get rid of my anxiety when it has to do with my current relationship? I have been suffering from bad anxiety whenever I get into a realtionship and it progresses to the next level, or I try and pick out all the negative things about my partners. It gets to such a state that I have full blown panic attacks.....and it usually ends the relationship.
I have been sexually abused as a child and a few times as a teenager. My current partner and I live in different countries, which is hard, but we have been going out for almost 2 years and I have seen him thrice in that time for 3 weeks each time.
He is wonderful and I can so see a future with him, but out of the 3 times I have seen him I have had major panic attacks twice.....and basically ruined our time together. He knows I have a problem and is just wonderful, and wants to support me through this.
I am seeing him again in Feb......I guess I just want to get over my fear!!! It terrifies me about what might happen, but I still want to go through with it. This guy means a lot to me and I want to do it for myself and get over this fear.
As time nears by I feel my anxiety build more and more....I have good days, and then I have bad days, when everything seems doom and gloom, on those days I dont have any feelings for my man.....and I wonder why I am with him. It is very scary!!!!! After a day or so, I am back to normal. This is driving me crazy!
Also my man has the most amazing qualities but is average looking, and I keep disecting him and comparing him to any guy I come across. Its terribly shallow, but it is totally consuming me!!!
I know this is not me! but I cant stop it!
It worries me day and night....its like an automatic switch...
Can you please advise?
Thanks
Snoopy1980
I am finding this thread SO reassuring.
I am only three weeks into 'recovery' but i'm finding it very hard to 'accept' and new problems with my panic keep cropping up, the first week it was 'what if this never stops' the 2nd week it was negative thinking and scary thoughts and this week i've had trouble sleeping, just the thought of having to sleep makes me panic.
What a great post! Thanks!
franklin2003
02-10-08, 18:31
Snoopy,
This is a very common reason to have anxiety. My first question will be, have you spoken to any type of Doctor or Psychologist about this and are you currently on medication?
I'm not a doctor, but until you are able to resolve your past problems, the anxiety will continue to stay. Thankfully there are many places you can get help and you shouldn't try to solve this on your own. I happy to know that you have found someone who will support you through this, it makes it much easier.
franklin2003
02-10-08, 18:36
Wow, I saw today that this thread had over 4,000 views!!! Wow that feels great to hear that my story is helping many of you!
I don't get on here very often anymore, you tend to forget about anxiety, a miracle isn't it?
I continue with the medication daily, however I am now slooping down to .5 mg of ativan once every other day.
My life is wide open, there is NOTHING, that prevents me from doing, ANYTHING.
Many of you have sent me PMs with your questions, I'm always happy to share my honest exeperience and am open to talking to anyone. I know that helped me a lot on my road to recovery. I don't check in everyday, but be patient (hard to do when you are anxious, i know!) but I will get back to everyone!
No panic attacks, some anxiety sometimes, but always managable and doesn't prevent me from anything. Just wanted to share with you, stick with it, practice practice practice! Success starts out small, but it grows with time.
Frankilin im really happy for you and mind-over-matter is what its about,
Keep it up,
CONS
franklin2003
04-01-09, 23:50
Just wanted to post an update to everyone so they know, i'm doing fantastic my life is back to normal. Yes we all feel stressed, maybe I feel more stressed than others sometimes, but I have it under control when it happens. My life is normal ::sigh::
bubblefizz
05-01-09, 12:59
I just want to ask....when you feel the anxiety/panic and you "go" with it (sorta speak) i find it makes me really unwell does this happen to you?
i mean.... like im getting the flu, them flu type of symptoms.
not sure if im explaining very well lol
franklin2003
11-09-09, 02:27
:yesyes:
Keep working everyday I am 100% cured still.
Veronica H
11-09-09, 10:58
:) thanks for continuing to share your insights with us Franklin. Acceptance is definitely the key. Your determination is inspiring.
Veronicax
great inspiration, i just dont think i understand my anxiety or myself at the moment to just "accept it" but i know i will one day
Hi Franklin, It gives a great amount of comfort to read that the cure is as simple as letting go.It really did affirm the method for curing anxiety that i found earlier today (http://www.controllinganxiety.com/dsp_downloads.php hope it also helps any and all of you) . I just wanted to applaud you for being cured for as long as you've been. Congratulations. I too hope to share my experience of being cured.
ladybird64
02-10-09, 10:28
Hi Franklin, It gives a great amount of comfort to read that the cure is as simple as letting go.It really did affirm the method for curing anxiety that i found earlier today (http://www.controllinganxiety.com/dsp_downloads.php hope it also helps any and all of you) . I just wanted to applaud you for being cured for as long as you've been. Congratulations. I too hope to share my experience of being cured.
Or, rather than forking out more than £60 for a recovery programme that is such a blatant rip off of Dr Claire Weekes work, you could instead order her books (Self help for your nerves and Essential help for your nerves) from the NMP bookshop for under £7 each.
Thanks for the post Franklin
I've hit a nasty blip lately, but you've really inspired me to revisit the 'accepting' technique.
Bexie :)
its gave me hope reading your post had a really bad week bit just reading your post has give me the pick me up i needed.
I have gone back to reading this thread a few times when I have felt extra bad. It reminds me what I should be doing and that if you stick with it the "acceptance" method does work.
Thank you Franklin.
BabyRachel
07-10-09, 10:08
http://www.panicend.com/
This website is along the same lines. In a lot of detail. It makes so much sense in my head but I cant do it... Im too afraid.... I have tried and failed... I just don't think Im strong enough at the moment but i know this is the way to helping me...
hi..yep float..float on float on float on..thats so true. dont let it hinder you, consume you..its just a feeling thats all. Great post and congrats for doing so well x
I am getting there too. You're post Franklin and all the replies are very encouraging - even though they are going back a year or more, they are still relevant to helping people today. So thank you! I will think of you next time I am driving and let the anxiety wash over me and away.
ann
Thanks for posting the link to that site Baby Rachel. I have checked it out and it is really good. As you say it has much the same advice as Franklin gives but in greater detail. As the guy says it's also based on Claire Weekes ideas but I like the way writes. I suggest other people on here have a look at it. It's SO good to see someone willing to give advice for free. You know he has suffered as we are and really wants to help.
Thanks again. Judy.x
i to want to come off meds and cope myself but im so frightend, well done to you. xx
franklin2003
11-12-09, 17:27
My visit was so long ago, but remember in the midsts of my Panic Attacks/Anxiwty/Agorophobia I just wanted to keep positive and know that somoene has made it through it.
I want to follow up and say yes today I am 100% cured. I have not had a panic attack in a long time, over a year for sure.
Have I had anxiety? Stress? Just not feeling "right"? Of course, but because I have learned to tell myself, "this too shall pass", it always does. Without an escalation of additional fear and anxiety.
As someone who could not even walk out the front door some days, I have travlled over 50,000 flight miles this year. I travel for work and vacations. I see friends and do the things in the worst of my days I thought I could never do again.
For those who have tried and think they have failed, YOU HAVE NOT FAILED! That is very important, just making the effort and still have a panic attack or anxiety send you rushing home is the begining to understanding that you have the confidence and deep down the realization that anxiety cannot hurt you.
When I created this post I had no idea what would happen, would I look into the future and slipped back into a false relaity. I am here to say that everday I practice the teachings of claire weekes, its second nature. And to you that suffer from anxiety and panic that's your second nature. And as with all second nature, they don't become habit until we've practiced them over and over and over. So continue to practice accpetance, continue to face the fear, see yourself through it and you too will be cured.
I appreciate all of your comments, sometimes every few months I like to come back and remind myself of where I have come from. Your comments inspire me to continue updating you on my recovery.
:D
margaret jones
11-12-09, 17:53
Fantastic Post and Fantastic advise this is what i am trying to do .
Fed up off anxiety ruling my life i want to be back in charge i know it is not easy but there is no other way to get my life back
Take Care Margaret
Fab post, you sound like such a strong person. And I agree with the rest thing- in fact, all three of your points. Well done, I hope this is the start of an anxiety-free future for you.
Acidomoduso
05-01-10, 02:32
I'm kind of hoping that what you say will fix in my brain somehow. It may take time but i'm willing to try. Thanks for your post!
littlekaitlyn
13-01-10, 20:19
Congrats! I hope I get to that point someday soon :D Thanks for sharing and for giving us hope!
I am not surprised that this post is still getting replies because what Franklin says is completely true - except I would say that relief from anxiety depends on just one thing. Acceptance.
Accept the feelings you have are anxiety and nothing more.
Accept that with time those feelings will pass.
Accept that despite all the sympathy in the world from others, only you can make you better.
Accept that some situations will make you more anxious than others but that avoiding them is not the answer.
Accept that medication is not a cure for anxiety. Anxiety is not an illness or a chemical imbalance, it is your nervous system behaving in exactly the way it supposed to when you are afraid.
Accept that "fighting" means swimming upstream and that "accepting" means going with the flow.
Wow! that was really inspiring! Thank you!
I agree with franklin
I have had chronic anxiety issues for the last few months and only had one panic attack in my whole life but I know the symtoms of anxiety only too well.....sleeplessness, fear, adrenaline surges, weight loss.... the list goes on. The symptoms that really bug me.
I agree with the general sentiments in that if we give in to our fears or focus on them too much, then the anxiety continues. I felt I was making no progress until I accepted there would be pain and went back to work and accepted I might have discomfort and yet be able to function well enough if not perfectly. I am still heavily stressed with personal issues at home but still coping better.
So my list for coping is: Feel the fear
Accept it will go eventually
Don't have great expectations
Treat yourself well occasionally with a pat on the back
Good diet
Rest and exercise. Both if you can.
Take what you can find useful from CBT and try to be positive
And keep on keeping on
franklin2003
21-06-10, 04:46
It's been almost 6 months since I last updated, while I do not visit this site often anymore some days it pops in my mind to come back read my story and get updates on all of your comments.
Not to just *bump* this post, but instead to give periodic refresh of where I am. I know in the darkest days I enjoyed reading stories of people who could recover and those that remained so long after.
I am still recovered today enjoying life. I must say I am in probably the most stressful points in my life. To have the strength to go through what I have before to really see the power of the mind is what continues to keep me 100% cured.
I would never say anyone who suffers from anxiety is lucky, its all too misunderstood by those who cannot understand the pain and anguish we face. Instead of being lucky though, I feel much more empowered to take on challenges, learning the ideas of acceptance and that I truly do have control has helped me become more successful in life. So while we are not lucky or blessed to have this condition. Remember that once you recover, and you will recover!, you will be a much stronger person on the other side.
I love to read your comments of success, it truly does warm my heart to see this post as one of the most read, and maybe I selfishly update this post so that I have a record of what I was able to accomplish. But, I do hope you take encouragement from knowing today you can start on the path of being in control of your anxiety.
Take care.
Hi there
Glad to hear you're still winning with the approach I so agreed with when you first posted. I too have the same approach and whilst there are still blips generally I'm much better for the "acceptance " method
Warmest Regards
John
There are so many replies to this thread & I didn't have time to read them all...but I'll ask the question anyway! How do you achieve that acceptance?? My rational head tells me that the feelings will not harm me, but the anxious head shouts louder that I AM going to faint, panic etc and I just don't know how to keep it quiet. I find the feelings so overwhelming that I feel unable to ignore them. I've had anxiety & panic for about 4 1/2 years and, at the moment, am going backwards. :blush:
Hi Kirsty,
You could read Claire Weekes which would be really useful but the way I like to explain acceptance is like this:
Suppose you're stting there, at home in front of the TV or at work and you start to suffer from indigestion or a slight headache. What would you do?
Chances are you would take some ibruprofen or an antacid.
You know you will have to put up with the discomfort for a bit longer until the tablets kick in, you accept that and carry on working/watching the TV. You are aware of it but you are not giving it that much attention. Your mind is mostly focused on the task in hand.
You have to master the same trick with anxiety. You accept you are feeling anxious but you don't let it dominate your thoughts, neither do you try to push it away, you just let it sit there while you carry on with whatever it is you are doing.
Thanks for the reply! I guess it's something that is going to take practice. I'm not too bad when I'm at home feeling cack, but I find it really hard when I'm out. I will try & find that book, a lot of people have spoken about it, so it must be good. I HAVE to believe I'll be ok, so I will continue to work at it!!
franklin2003
08-02-14, 05:48
I have not posted in here in some time, but I wanted to post again to tell you about a set back i've had and how i've recovered. It happened about a year ago when I started to again experience anxiety. I had a job change, a new relationship, and a lot happening in my life. I quickly allowed the feelings of anxiety; the urgency, the panic, the fear of death happen again. I feel into what I call the "thought trap" where if I think it, it must be true and disaster is a breath away.
Over the past year I went up and down progressively getting worse, where even the slightest interaction with someone was so painful. I even took a prescription from my doctor for benzos and antidepressants. I felt defeated, like I had concurred this before and why could I not get past it again? However this time, deep down I knew that if I could only not care I could recover. So I began the painful process of putting myself again in situations that made me feel uncomfortable, out of control.
It did not at first feel like I could conquer this, that it would never ever go away. Everyday I put on this brave face, looked at the fear, and was often pushed to run away.
But everyday, I got up and did it again and again. Was a afraid and hide some days, yes. But I deep down knew I could defeat this. Eventually those fears began to fade, it took much longer than i expected. But the single that always worked for me and does to this day when I feel an anxious feeling is to tell myself...
"if today is the day, that is fine, I am ready let it happen" Every time I've said that and let myself relax to the best I could it eventually has passed. And over time that feeling of giving in, letting go, and accepting that whatever will happen has reduced my anxiety.
I did this without 1 benzo or 1 antidepressant. Though I fully understand and support those who do need the support.
I don't know if I will ever not be an anxious person, most post go back many years. I've experienced many good years without a relapse. But it happens and next time I will just give in.
If my doctor tells me i'm healthy, will survive, I will. I have to have faith in giving into the things I can't control.
At the end of this all i'm trying to tell you is as bad as it feels, and i've been through every moment you have, is that at the end giving up and giving into it will do exactly what you want. Bring the freedom you need.
Anxiety can be cured!! I wanted to share my steps as to how I overcame anxiety and if you have questions please feel free to post them.
It was very simple..
Rest
Nutrition
Acceptance
One day I just stopped, I just stopped rushing from one thing to another, with tense shoulders, racing thoughts, fear of blacking out, fear of being hurt, fear, fear fear....and I realized it hasn't hurt me for 4 months why would it hurt me today. And with that thought, I allowed the rushes, I allowed my body to scream at me telling me the end was near. The dizziness, the tension, the unsteadiness, the lack of concentration, the fatigue. I allowed it to do what it had to do. I accepted it was there, but then I did what I had to do. Walk to work, go grocery shopping, read a book.
Yes sometimes it was hard, sometimes I was just tired and wanted to rest, so I did. But I didn't rest as an excuse for the anxiety, I rested because my body just needed to digest the mistake it had made, reinforce the calm I COULD CONTROL!!, and then in an hour or the next day I would go back to my life.
I'm not 100% maybe 75%, but I know I have been cured and I know I will be 100% because I understand now that it just takes time, maybe a few weeks, maybe a few months. But, the feelings don't bother me, if I feel pressure and dizziness instead of racing to get home or somewhere safe, I just slow down, I let it come and then I let it pass, maybe its still there when I let it pass...but I just keep walking. I never have fallen from it, i've never gone blind from it, i've never passed out from it. It can hurt, it can be painful, but with rest (maybe even a few days/weeks) it will pass. It won't be so bad. When i've learned to accept it, it's learned to go away. My body says yes you're muscles are tense, but WE CAN STILL FUNCTION, so we will lower the pain and allow you to keep doing what you are doing.
Sleeping, I couldn't sleep a full night, I would wake up with the weirdest thoughts, have the weirdest dreams, scary thoughts of what I might/could do. But one day, I just allowed them to happen and focused on things I enjoyed. Maybe a hobby, maybe a story, anything that just kept my focus, made me feel good, and put me to sleep. I now sleep full nights 8-10 hours. No problem. Waking up still sometimes feels weird, sometimes there is still anxiety there, but I let it happen. I get up, get in the shower, I don't stress out or worry about what I need to do today. It will get done, if it doesn't, maybe I will do it tomorrow or maybe it just wasn't important.
The truth is I did this without pills, I did do this with a Psych, but they brought reassurnace, not a cure. The cure was within me not giving in, but giving up. Giving up thinking anxiously, and giving up reacting to the feelings of anxiety.
Good luck, you can do it, but you have to let go.
Fantastic news :) yes i totally agree, I overcame it when i realized, I needed to accept it and go with it, after a while the anxious habit vanished
ddonaghey1989
13-02-14, 22:14
hi franklin im so glad i came across your post. your so brave. ive been suffering with dizziness, unsteadyness, brainfog, cant concentrate or see right. cant sit still or relax. the dizziness terrifies me. this is going on over a year now. im so much better than what i was then but i seen to be stuck now with good days and bad days. bad days where i feel like im being pulled to one side. ive seen an ent and neurologist who said they think its stress and anxiety but i just cant accept that anxiety is what started my dizziness.
when your facing your fear and letting it pass how do you feel? are you dizzy? im so afraid to just sit and let it pass i feel like i will pass out or something.
danielle xx
franklin2003
28-02-14, 20:22
being afraid to sit still is a very common issue with anxiety. When we sit still we are very aware of the uncomfortable feeling of anxiety. When we are up standing, moving around, or doing something it makes us feel like we have control of it. That we can prevent whatever bad that is about to happen.
I think the most disappointing thing people feel when they are fully prepared to accept the anxiety is that the physical sensations remain, much much longer than anyone would like. Dizziness or unsteadiness as many describe it is probably the worst in my opinion, because it constantly brings our attention back to the the anxiety and fear.
There is no simple cure, in order to get past it you have to learn to live with it. That simply means that you have to practice just letting go and allowing it happen. You may think you have the control, but your brain's automatic response is impossible to control, so when it strikes with anxiety you have to learn to accept it.
The way i've learned to combat this, as scary as it sounds, is just to allow what is going to happen, happen. The reality is that anxiety will tell you that you are going to fall, pass out, scream, throw up, die. You will not recover until you say "Okay, let this happen" And then I promise you 101% of the time none of them will happen. Once you have formed the habit to say "Okay, let this happen" you will learn that the effects of just not caring actually decreases the anxiety.
Not at first, maybe not in the first day, maybe not in the first week, maybe not in the first month. But, over time you're going to begin to realize that nothing happens and you wake up the next day and that you still exist.
So instead of your previous instant reaction to run home, into your room, and lie in bed with overwhelming fear. You now have a tool to sit through it.
good post franklin, glad you are coping with it.
xrachykinsx
24-03-14, 08:27
This is reassuring, however although it all makes perfect sense...It's just so much harder to not let the feelings bother you. I've tried so much to just say to myself 'come on then....make me feel bad' and I know nothig bad happens in the end but I still do nothing but think about the anxiety! :/
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