Bit selfish but....

[Lilith1980]

Could I request some hugs for myself please? :blush:

I notice alot of people asking for hugs for other members but I just needed some at the moment, but didnt want to come across as "woe is me". Well I guess I do feel a bit like that at the moment :wacko:

I feel really down, I feel like my head is falling apart. I made myself ill last night after not having done so for about 18 months. I was upset about things and thought it would help take the pain away like it seemed to when I was deep into my eating disorder.

But it didnt. And I know not to do it again. I just felt it was a new low for me. But its seemingly come out of nowhere - I was ok a few days ago.

My boyfriend doesnt really understand and feels bad about it. As much as I try to explain, he doesnt get it. He does try to but due to his lack of understanding the things he says to me tend to make me feel worse. They make me feel like I bring all this on myself. I feel bad for how I have made him feel so I then feel even worse about myself.

I want to be able to talk to him but I dont think I want to anymore. He said "There is always something that you're not happy with. I feel like I could try my hardest to give you what you want and you still wouldnt be happy." and "I'm fed up of hearing about it everyday".

And he wonders why I shut down. Well I'm fed up of him getting so frustrated at me. He's fed up of me and I am fed up with the lack of support :weep:

It was never going to be easy for either of us, I know it cant be easy for him. But I just want him to be a bit more supportive because he's my b/f and he's the one person I should be able to talk to (I think anyway).

He says I have got worse recently. He says its like he's going out with the anxiety instead of "Jo" :weep:

I feel so rough this morning. I didnt want to come into work. I just wanted to stay in bed under the covers, but I am here and just want to get through the next few hours.

So, if you could give me a few hugs, I'd really appreciate it :blush:

Thanks guys xxxxx

[bluesparkle]

hi
here you are :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:
afraid i cant do the nice fancy ones though!
you have done really well to get into work so see that as a posative.
i work and i know what its like to drag yourself in whilst feeling so down.
things will get better but i know and am going through it too at the moment and sometimes it just doesnt seem that it will, but try to look at the posatives even if it is getting to work, or whatever you manage to achieve.
i hope your day gets better
rach
x

[SANDYJANE]

Im so sorry you are feeling like you are at the mo,
:hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

Love Sandyjanexxx

[dawny]

big massive hugs for you

hope you feel better as the day goes on

love dawny

[denize]

hello lilth im sending some hugs to you :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: well done for going into work when feeling so low:yesyes:try and stay positive xxxxxxx love and thoughts Denize xxxxxx:hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

[ade]

not selfish at all my love
i send you oceans of love
i wish i could take away your pain
i send you nowt but peace and the tranquility you deserve
love ade x:hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs::flowers: :flowers: :flowers: :flowers: :flowers: :flowers: :flowers: :flowers: :flowers: :flowers: :flowers: :flowers:

[Lilith1980]

Thank you for all your hugs and kind words, I was almost in tears, its so nice to have people here to give encouragement.

Thank you all, have some hugs from me now :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:

xxxxx

[manmoor]

Lilth have some from me too hun to tide you over :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: xxx

[Paddington]

oh my lilith hun have loads of hugs..:hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: i think you and i are in a very similar place at the moment ..3 steps forward 4 steps back some days aye hun:weep: But you have done so many positive things hun...so proud of you for that:yesyes: you contact me any time you want thru here or face book hun..more hugs :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: Love Paddie.xxxxxxxxxxxx

[Lindalou64]

HUGS FOR YOU LILETH HOPE THINGS IMPROVE FOR YOU STAY POSITIVE I WISH YA WELL.................LINDA XX

[groovygranny]

Oh Lilith,

'course you can have a hug - here have millions!

You really are going through it at the moment aren't you, what with work as well.......

.....but honestly, you are doing well. You didn't stay home under the duvet, you got yourself into work (somewhere we know you'd rather not be) and are still there.

Try and take it hour by hour, or even half an hour by half an hour.

Glad you posted here so we can all support you. xxx

http://i198.photobucket.com/albums/aa97/Lilyan_album/hugs.gif


:hugs::hugs::hugs:


:flowers:

[jodie]

:bighug: :bighug: :bighug: :bighug:

jodie xx

[Lilith1980]

Thanks guys, I really appreciate your support :)

I only have another couple of hours, then I finish for the weekend, thank goodness!

xxxxx

[Richie]

Sorry to hear you are down, i'll send some massive big hugs to you:) :yahoo: :yahoo: :yahoo: :bighug: :bighug:
Richie xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxx

[chalky]

Hi Lilith,

You are so amazing!!!
:hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:
:hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

In spite of your feelings,you still push yourself on through the pain.That determination will be a great asset to you.
I hope you feel better soon-you are always so supportive of others-you deserve it.
Best wishes,
Chalky

[kazzie]

:hugs: :hugs: :hugs: for you

Kaz x x x:hugs:

[Lilith1980]

Thanks again guys, its so touching to have your support :)

I feel a bit better, not great but I had some good news today.....

I am going to see someone at a charity for an informal chat about a job they have on Tuesday next week so that's a positive step! Thanks again for your hugs and support, they mean so much :)

xxxxxxxx

[Granny Primark]

Loads of big hugs Lilth.:hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:
Its not selfish to want a hug.
Life can be a bitch at times.
Hope you begin to feel better soon.

Lots of love and good wishes

Take care
LYNN xx

[louwilliams]

:bighug1: :bighug1: :bighug1: :bighug1: :bighug1:

Hun Keep in touch with your PM's- I didnt realise how much of a rubbish time you are having at the moment.

My partner is exactly the same as yours and has said exactly the same thing as yours has. I realised that I wasnt going to get any better with his constant pressure so I told him I was leaving if he didnt at least TRY to understand what I'm going through. I made him read a claire weekes book and even though he still doesnt understand it, he knows what NOT to say now, which is better than him saying nice things.

We are all here for you :grouphug:

Take heart in the fact that you WILL get better :yesyes:

Keep your chin up-there is light at the end of this dark tunnel.

Much love
Lou xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[julieb]

hi jo,

think weve spoken before, i live quite near to you in newchapel. if you want my number to text or anything please just email or im me. i know how hard it is to go to work like this, i struggle too. try to stay posiive. here for you.

ju x

[Neilr1978]

[quote=Lilith1980;298030]Could I request some hugs for myself please? :blush:

I notice alot of people asking for hugs for other members but I just needed some at the moment, but didnt want to come across as "woe is me". Well I guess I do feel a bit like that at the moment :wacko:

I feel really down, I feel like my head is falling apart. I made myself ill last night after not having done so for about 18 months. I was upset about things and thought it would help take the pain away like it seemed to when I was deep into my eating disorder.

But it didnt. And I know not to do it again. I just felt it was a new low for me. But its seemingly come out of nowhere - I was ok a few days ago.

My boyfriend doesnt really understand and feels bad about it. As much as I try to explain, he doesnt get it. He does try to but due to his lack of understanding the things he says to me tend to make me feel worse. They make me feel like I bring all this on myself. I feel bad for how I have made him feel so I then feel even worse about myself.

I want to be able to talk to him but I dont think I want to anymore. He said "There is always something that you're not happy with. I feel like I could try my hardest to give you what you want and you still wouldnt be happy." and "I'm fed up of hearing about it everyday".

And he wonders why I shut down. Well I'm fed up of him getting so frustrated at me. He's fed up of me and I am fed up with the lack of support :weep:

It was never going to be easy for either of us, I know it cant be easy for him. But I just want him to be a bit more supportive because he's my b/f and he's the one person I should be able to talk to (I think anyway).

He says I have got worse recently. He says its like he's going out with the anxiety instead of "Jo" :weep:

I feel so rough this morning. I didnt want to come into work. I just wanted to stay in bed under the covers, but I am here and just want to get through the next few hours.

So, if you could give me a few hugs, I'd really appreciate it :blush:

Thanks guys xxxxx[/quote

:hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:
keep ya chin up hun you can do it .I know its really hard when ppl donr understand ive been there before an its not a pretty place i know.All of us on here are with you ,you can beat this !!!!!

[ladygrom]

hi lilth heres big hug from me aswell all the very best elaine xxxxxx

[sarajane]

http://www.cybergifs.com/hearts/hug.gif

I hope this hug helps everyone that needs it.
All the way from Australia
Love Sarajane

[Angel64]

Hi Lil, lots of hugs from me to you :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

Its tough when the people closest to you don't understand, I know from experience ! But my therapist once advised me "He can't understand, but he loves you, so let him just be your boyfriend, not your therapist".


Now I come on here for support from those that understand, to either have a laugh when I'm down or vent a little when things are so frustrating.

Hope that helps a little, take care Lil. xx :flowers:

[IrishPrincess]

Hiya lilith,

:hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

I don't think u are selfish I think you are very brave,you deserve loads of hugs.


Karen:hugs:

[Nibbles]

Hi Lilith,

Good luck with the job. To carry on working and going about your day takes tremendous courage and shows you are taking steps forwards. It can be frustrating when others don't understand but don't feel guilty because you can't help how you feel. Here's some big hugs coming your way.


:hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

http://i108.photobucket.com/albums/n20/akroneddyelvis/Sharons%20Stuff/Hugs.gif

Take care,

Mike :)