View Full Version : contiuously obsessed with dying
Hi, can anyone else tell me if they continously obsess about serious illnesses, i can miraculously be dying of a brain tumour and then get a pan in my side and decide its my appendix, i can have the symptoms of about 4 illnesses that could kill me at one time, what are the chances of that really? see now i can be rational and say dont be so stupid but at the time i am dying of all these illnesses its terrifying, i really freak out, please someone tell me they have the same,
Love me x
Angela Hemsley
Hi Angela
This is very common with anxiety, a lot of people worry that their symptoms are more physical, but they are due to anxiety, you will be amazed how many symptoms you can get from anxiety and some do resemble other illness. Go to your doctor to get a full check up if that will put your mind at ease.
Trust me you will be fine and with our help we can guide you through it and you will know that you are not alone.
Lots of Love Sal xxxxx
Thanks Sal, what im worried about is that the anxiety maybe hiding something nasty, when i go to the docs he just says oh thats stress or thats anxiety, but what if it isn't? im so scared of getting ill and dying,
Love me x
Angela Hemsley
Hi Angela,
After my First PA I too was scared that I might have a serious
illness. To put my mind at ease my GP sent me for blood test
checked heart and chest exray, all came back normal.
Peace of mind goes along way.
I know you are scared right now but remember you are not alone,
we all know what you are going through.
TAKE CARE LOVE JILLXX
When you fear something.
Learn as much about it as you can.
Knowledge conquers fear.
Thanks Jill, its nice to know there are other people out there that feel like i do, although i wish that no body had to feel like this, before i found this forum i thought i was going mad, i didn't think it was ever possible for any one else to feel this bad, its given me some reasurance x
Angie
i used to be the same but now when i get a pain ill say to myself stop being daft nothing will happen and sure enough the pain will go away.
I think alot of it is in our mind and our mind plays tricks on us.
funny you should say that taylor, iv found that when i have a headache, i seem to control the severity of it, one moment i will think this is it, iv got a haemorrage and im going to die and the next it will just be a dull ache, our minds are such powerful things, just wish that i could use mine for good things instead of driving myself insane,
Angie x
Angie
Please take some time to read the Health Anxiety page on the home page.
Meg
www.overcominganxiety.co.uk
You cannot conquer fear until you have learned what it is you're afraid of. The enemy is ignorance. Vivian Vance
Hi Angie
Yes, as everyone's written above it's a very, very common and very, very affecting part of the disorder.. Morbid thoughts, fear of terminal disease are often associated with it.. the good news is that, as you say, the mind is very powerful and, with some effort, it can be trained to be positive and work for you instead of against you.. positive thinking is hard but rewarding and half the battle is recognising that the condition is making you feel this way/have the dark thoughts..
My first PA felt like a heart attack and I was convinced I was dying.. ever since, I've been struck with morbid thoughts and the true nature of mortality.. it was very hard to deal with but I've made progress by a mixture of making myself stop thinking the negative thoughts and by thinking more positively about things..
There's a lot of information here as well as a lot of people who genuinely understand how you're feeling.. it's nasty and feels lonely but you're not alone and you will get better in time, start fighting back against the negative thoughts and start by making small gains and you'll get there..
Hang on in there and think positively.
Good luck and good health
J
Hi,
I'm feeling this wayat the moment and have been for the past 6 weeks. My current obsession is with MS as the symptoms I have seem so vague (Aching legs/muscles, tingling sensations). Every doctor I have seen has said I do not have MS. I saw my GP last week and she ordered loads of blood test (Ii think to keep me happy) and they all came back normal. Strangely all my symptoms went after the blood test and only came back a few days later. Last year I was suffering form tension headaches and convinced myself that I had a brain tumour and even now the slightest feeling has my anxiety/panic/fear going off into orbit.
I used to spend a lot of time symptom searching on the net, which was not good for me. My wife says I have only developed symptoms after reading about them. A little knowledge is a dangerous thing; Ignorance is bliss.
At the moment I really don't know how to deal with it.[Sigh...]
Take Care ,
Stuart
Hi Hemaluta, I get the same, I was always at Doctors and always realy worried as like you every pain or illnes was it. this is It its real this time? so back to th Doctors just to be told oh Its just the anxiety there is nothing wrong. I got so so uptight becouse the Doctor wouldnt even leave his chair and like you I thought, I know I have anxietybut surely people with anxiety can still get ohysically ill too. but now I have a better doctor and had loads of tests and all where ok. This has been happening on and off for close to 40 years so the Anxiety can realy trick you. take cre. Vernon
Hi Angie, I know exactly how you feel, I was the same and still am to a certain point but am a lot better now. I used to read medical books and look up my symptoms and convince myself I had every illness under the sun. I was at the doctors every week and had so many different test, blood, brain scans, camera down throat, chest Xrays, ECG's etc and they all came back normal. I would feel o.k for a while and then I would get another pain somewhere or some other strange symptom and it would all start over again. It was only when I learned to accept that it was anxiety and not serious illness that I started to make progress towards getting better. I still have bad days when I get pains in some part of my body or my heart will miss beats etc but I try not to think too much of it. I used to spend a fortune buying magazines just to read the health pages but I try not to do it anymore as it would make me feel worse If I read about people with brain tumours etc. As stuccoo says "A little knowledge is a dangerous thing"!!!
It has helped me so much coming on this site and knowing that I am not alone with this thing, and I am sure it will help you too.
Take care
Love Lisaxxx
Hi hemaluta
I agree with the rest of the gang, even now, every little pain i get is something life threatening but i guarantee finding this forum has been a life-saver for me and it can also be for you. ANy time you wanna compare diseases:D, is fine with me
Rach xx
Hi Angie, I'm Jacqui, I went through a bad patch of thinking I was going to die, I still have those feelings at the back of my mind but now on prozac i've learned to dismiss the feelings as mental illness and it is highly unlikely I do have anything seriously wrong at my age (37) let alone you at your age (20)
I know the fear seems so real when you're experiencing it but try and take a step back and look from other peoples point of view, how many people in their 20's and 30's die from illnesses (not many)
I get pains in the head or chest etc and automatically think oh no its a brain tumour or a heart attack etc, but you just have to try and block it out and say to yourself its stupid thinking like that.
You'll be fine and most probably live to a ripe old age
luv Jacqui x
nomorepanic
08-03-05, 19:43
Try Meg's new website page - www.nomorepanic.co.uk/healthanxiety.htm
May offer some help.
Nicola
Hi Angela,
I am sorry to hear you are in such distress. I went through a period where I was similarly obsessed with dying convincing myself I would be dead before I was 40. As I was 40 in October this assumption made the whole of my 39th year hell. It spoiled several plane journeys as I was convinced this is how it would end, it spoilt a holiday at Christmas as I was convinced I would die whilst on holiday. The anxiety created in these periods made me quite ill last year and still I feel the impact even today. My coping strategies have improved immensely in the last month or so thanks to this group, some good test results and a more disciplined approach to my own wellbeing.
It is hard to describe to others just how real these feelings of dying are, you wake up thinking about this being your last day, you go to your wardrobe and think about which clothes to wear in case you will need to ring for an ambulance that day and so on, it takes over your life and the life of those you live with.
You are not alone Angela even though your in a dark place at the moment there will be better brighter days for you. Talking to others about how you feel is a major start, visit your GP and tell him or her how you feel there are many out there now who understand and will put you in touch with kind caring helpful people who will work through this with you.
NEVER suffer in silence Angela this isn't a permanent state and you will get better.
Hi Angela
Hope reading Megs advice helped you.
Let us know how you are getting on.
Lots of Love Sal xxxxx
Hi Angela,
I am just like you and so many others on this site. You said earlier, what if the docs have missed something? That is exactly what we all think but how can we ever be sure. I am seeing a counsellor at the moment and he tries to convince me that constantly worrying about the symptons does not help me and by the time I get to 65 - 70 still with the same symptons, will I eventually realise that they were anxiety and after I have wasted 30 years stop worrying then! I have had the same sympton (ectopic/missed hearbeats) for three years. They started six weeks after I lost a baby - I was five months pregnant and he had died inside me - and they have never really gone away, but like you, if I get a headache I focus on that, pains etc.. it is all a vicious circle.
I hope you can find help and reassurance on here.
Take care,
Linda.xx
Hi Angela
How are you feeling today, hope you are feeling a little better.
As I said in my relpy I do know how you feel:(
Since finding this site back in august last year, the information
on this site and the special people on hear have tought me sooo
much.I am now alot better. It was never just post to me, I always
read the advice they give to other sufferers.
My daughter also suffers anxiaty, she is alot better these days but
when she has a little blip which do not last for long[^] after she calls
it, ( mending her mind ) she knows that it is her thoughts that are
making her feel that way. She is only 11 years old. Her little blips only last for about 5 mins[^] Thats in another post under my daughter if you wish to read it.
It is hard to change the way we think but it CAN be done.
Always remember Angela there is an end to all this, it just takes time.
Please keep posting your thoughts and fears as I have said this site
has help me feel 99% better most days 100%.
In time you too can learn how to feel better.
TAKE CARE LOVE JILLXX
Believe it is possible to solve your problem.
Tremendous things happen to the believer.
So believe the answer will come. IT WILL.
Thankyou everyone to replying, i feel so much more at ease now. I know that these feelings will go away, since finding this forum i have felt so much better, trouble is i spend all my time reading what people have been writing instead of studying.. whoops [^]
Thankyou again,
much love xx
Angie
Hi Angela
Better add me to the list as well. I'm forever worrying about my health [V]. I've only got to get the slightest twinge and thats it i'm about to die. My biggest fear at the moment is that what will my kids do, i'm on my own for now (partner away working) and frightened to death (excuse the pun lol) that if anything happens to me in the middle of the night what will happen to the girls. Stupid i know but its how we are but we'll get over it eventually.
Take care
Tracy
x
I think it is important to keep a written record of how you are feeling and then use this to help you to try and rationalise future episodes when they occur. The big problem with health anxiety is catasrophising sensations we are feeling and linking them to expectations of dying which creates a closed loop and intensifies the discomfort and stress and exacerbates our fight or flight response.
A diary is important because it will identify patterns of feelings that preclude an attack and enable you to focus your energy on key areas and reduce mental confusion.
Hi
I too suffer from the continuously thinking i'm going to die from something anxiety. You are not alone, but i've decided to cope with this you have to think logically. Think about your symptoms, you cannot be suffering from six different things at the same time.
My councellor say this is all from anxiety and things that have happened in my past, this makes you focus on every ache and pain that happens. This then makes things seem 10 times as worse. Try and take your mind off it,its the only way, then if your still worried go to your doctors. If they think it is something serious they will do something about it.
I know its hard cause i'm going through another episode of it at the moment, but keep trying.
Hi Hdouglass
Welcome to the forum. It sounds like you are doing well with this and the counselling is helping. Good for you for having such a positive attitude.
I hope you find it helpful being here.
Karen
It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere.
nomorepanic
15-03-05, 22:10
Hiya Hdouglass
Welcome aboard
have you read the Health anxiety page on the website - makes sense doesn't it?
If you want to tell us more about yourself then please post your own message. Hope you come back.
Nicola
april tones
15-03-05, 22:57
hi angie, i have had this problem. do a search on my posts or p.m me.
stuart- i have your problem at moment. i think its different though as we ahve symptoms which are proobably didderent to ones we have had before related to anxiety. i have tingling in ceertain places,aches,pain,twitches,shooting pains, love april. i understand as i worry of ms. love april x
apriltones
jollywalrus
17-03-05, 09:55
Hi All,
I used to have this problem. I was always worried about dying, usually in my sleep, and I used to stay awake as long as I could until I was exhausted. I felt a great responsibility to be alive because three young children were depending on me. Then I realised that one day I will die of something, but if I spend all the days I am living worrying about it, then I might as well be dead!
Here is a technique I used which cured me. Every time I worried about dying, I visualized putting that thought into a purple box, sealing it up and throwing down to the bottom of the garden. I then slept peacefully. It sounds daft I know, but it worked for me! Maybe there are more forum users with ideas that can help too. Just a thought.
Love Christine
nomorepanic
17-03-05, 20:19
Christine
I was taught a similar thing in hypnotherapy. I had to put all my troubles in a box and wrap a pink ribbon round it and put it away in a cupboard where it wasn't going to harm me!
Weird huh?
Nicola
jollywalrus
18-03-05, 20:33
Hi Nicola,
You're right it is wierd. I think it is a visualisation technique, but it works for me!
Christine
hiya i am new to this site and after reading your post i have realised that its not just me and i am not just going mad! i am exactly the same as you if anything worse! thankyou so much, it really has made me realise that im not alone!
jday
whatisitnow
07-06-06, 22:49
I think its normal to get reassurance from the doctors, go away & feel better physically, then within days, start doubting the doctors words & focusing on the symptom & causing it to go full steam ahead! Ive done it many times now to be honest. But it doesnt matter how many times i do it, its still different the next time & something serious [:I]
Pete to win Big Brother! He is Daddy Fantastic with pants made of elastic!
jessicalittler79
28-12-11, 17:19
hello i can relate with u i also have the same thing ive had it now for 1 year and i can say its awfull....i can also have and worrie about 4 illness at one tome and i can make my self have all the symptoms of them also...if i fear i have brain tumour i will google and i will have all the symptoms google says ...frist thing is to never ever google it will only make u worse ....i hope u get better soon and please fell free to inbox me if u wanna chatt :)
Okay, add me to the list as well! Yes, I'm always thinking about dying, this is nuts! It's to much really, it makes me much more fearful and anxious, it certainly doesn't help! But, I can't help it.....all the same thoughts that I've read here on this thread go through my mind as well, and you just live in fear .....
I admit I have the same issue too. I always walk off from the doctor's office feeling good and reassured, but a day or two later I'll start doubting the doctor and the anxiety cycle starts again. For some reason, I also keep deliberately finding new symptoms to get anxious with. Even during the days when I am completely free of any symptoms, I will doubt myself and sometimes go all out to find totally new symptoms.
I'm not really obsessed with dying, but more with the anticipation of finding a serious disease. It's hard to explain. For me, it's the anticipation that breaks me.
I would not say 'continuously' applies to me, buy certainly very often, on a daily basis.
I never used to worry much about death, until I had my first panic attack 3 1/2 years ago, which I thought was a heart attack... the experience left me traumatised, and I've been obsessed with death and feelings in my body every since. Like other people here, I'm usually reassured by a visit to the doctor, until a few days after when doubts and symptoms creep back in, eventually freaking me out enough to make another visit (sometimes weeks or months before visits though). I'm lucky in that I have a doctor who is sympathetic to my anxiety, and he always explains things thoroughly when ruling things out in terms of diseases or the reasons why he thinks I don't have heart disease (my main fear due to family history of it on my father's side of the family)
For me, it's not so much the fear of death itself, but more the process of death. MY biggest fear is a sudden (lasting from a few seconds to a few hours), painful death, such as heart attack, stroke etc. I do not have the same fear about cancer for example, which would give me more time to 'die'.
That's my main obsessive thought, i'm contstantly worring about just dropping dead suddenly. I sympathize with everyone here and that they are going through.
hug
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