how to help my DP with his panic attacks

[t1na2008]

Hi

Im new to the forum so hello to all :)

I don't suffer with panic/anxiety attacks myself but my DP of 4 years does and i obviously want to try and help him with this. He has seen a counsellour in the past and is currently looking for a new one. He had a long period of time (2months unpaid!) off work due to his attacks and we are just about back on our feet finance wise due to this. His family have only recently learned of the extent of his attacks (i.e causing him not to go to work for so long) and whilst they are trying to be supportive i don't think they quite understand as they don't often see him having an attack first hand (which i do!).

Basically i want to know what i can say/do to help him, both overall and during an attack to help him get over it?

Thanks for reading,

Tina

[chalky]

Hi Tina,
Welcome to the Forum!

:hugs: :yesyes: :hugs: :yesyes: :hugs: :yesyes:

It's wonderful to see that you are such a caring,considerate person.Your DP is very fortunate.
Check out the main menu-our forum creator,Nicola,has some material in there on your concerns which should provide you with a lot of guidance.
You will get loads of support and advice here.
Best wishes,
Chalky

[t1na2008]

Thank you! I will definately have a look through that info. :yesyes:

Does anyone have any specific things that they like to be told/reminded of when they're suffering with a panic attack? Or things they like to think about/do to try and keep an attack at bay?

[Bill]

Hello Tina,

To add to Chalky's advice I'd say the simplest most effective thing you could try is to hold him and give him a HUG whilst reassuring him nothing will happen to him and the feelings will pass if he takes slow deep breaths.

Also, do you know what his fears are? Panics are always caused by something we're afraid of. If you can find out what the causes are then they can be treated through the methods most suited to him.:hugs:

[t1na2008]

Hi and thanks Bill! :)

Thanks for the advice - but what about when he is having an attack and I'm not with him, is there anything i can say to him over the phone (as he rings me when he feels a panic coming on) that will help?

Also i think most of his attacks occur when he thinks there is something wrong with him, i.e he may have a pain in his head and think hes got a tumour, or pins and needles in his arm and think hes having a stroke etc. He also gets very anxious on journeys (in the car, on the train etc), especially if its to somewhere he hasnt been before.

Tina

[Allwaysdyin]

G'day Tina

When I am alone and having the attacks the first thing I do is grab the phone and call my wife, all I need is to hear her voice and I start calming done she just reassures me that everything will be fine and take a few deep breaths and then she will talk about something that she done that day or what she wants to do on the weekend, anything that will distract me and that seems to work.Try talking about good times you guys have had together or funny things that have happened. I'm 29 and convinced that I've been having strokes and heart attacks for 2 years now(but I'm still kickin). What works for me is distraction and exercise, and I also see a counselor (who is fantastic). Like Chalky has said your DP is very lucky to have such an understanding and caring partner to help deal with his ANX/PA's.

All the best

Greg

[dianes]

Hi Tina

I agree distraction and reassurance is a good way to calm a person down. What also helped me was learning to breathe through my abdomen and not my chest. My councellor explained that most people who suffer with anxiety/panic breathe quickly through their chest causing them to hyperventilate. She gave me two very good tapes teaching me how to breathe properly and relax the whole body down. After listening and practising this every day I am now able to use this when I feel myself getting anxious.

I battle everytime I have to travel anywhere by car, my hubby talks to me about anything to distract me and I constantly tell my self how good it is to be getting out, what a nice day it is, look at that etc. etc. I also have a MP3 player that my hubby has recorded relaxation techniques on along with my favourite music and I concentrate on that when I am feeling very anxious.

When your DP is having a panic attack reassure him that he is o.k. and nothing bad is going to happen to him, talk him through it and try to get him to focus on what you are saying.

It is great you are so understanding and that you care so much, believe me it does help, I know as like you my hubby is trying to help me through mine.

I hope some of this will be helpful to you, as Chalky has said you will receive lots of help and advice from NMP.

All the best to both of you

Diane

[JohnBliss]

I find the best way to deal with a panic attack is to just let it happen.even invite it to happen.I find fighting a panic attack just makes it worse.I also tell the panic attack to get it over with in the knowledge that when it subsides I will feel so relaxed with all that adrenaline gone.I find that this approach which I've only recently started practicing has actually stopped panic attacks from peaking-its almost as if the panic attack gives up because it knows it's not going to win.
Best of Luck
John

[t1na2008]

Thank you everyone for your advice! :yesyes:
Its hard sometimes to know what to say to him for the best - i dont want to start talking about something thats going to make things worse for him (even though i might think im helping!).
He has an appointment with a new counsellor next week and we're both hoping that being able to talk to a professional about his issues will help him.
We have a scan at the local hospital tomorrow (we're expecting our 2nd baby) and im just hoping he will be ok for it. Ive already said that he doesnt have to come if he feels its too much pressure (hes had a few bad attacks already this week) but i know he doesnt want to miss it. Im also worried about how we're going to cope with a second child with his attacks being especially bad at the moment.