View Full Version : It's recking my life, how do I cope?
I feel as if my life is in a toal mess. OCD, Agoraphobia, Depressionpanic attacks.
It takes me all my time to get out of bed in the morning.
I have lost contact with all my friends and just feel so iscolated.
I only leave the house for Doctors appointments ect, how can I start to get my life back in my hands.
I make so many mistakes if I have to meet new people I get myself into bother by creating stories to cover the shame I feel of my illness and now I am more or less housebound with anxiety and panic attacks.
I am 37 years old and have to live with my parents who do more or less everything for me.
How do I beging to grab back my life.
I am fed up to the back teeth of how my life is right now.
Eddie
Hi Eddie
Welcome to the site, you will get loads of help and support here I can assure you, be isolated no more you'll make lots of friends in here.
There is also a chat room which becomes busy from about 8.30pm which you access throught he home page.
Take care
Elaine x
hi welcome to the forum .......you have definately come to the right place we will give you all the support you need and help you to get your life as much back on track as possible
read through some of the postings on here you will find lots of people are or have been where you are so your definately not alone with this. it does make you become isolated and it wont be solved over night but by reading some of the stuff on here you can get yourself back to a much better place and build on that there are loads of nice people here who will give you lots of helpful advice and im sure you will feel better once you see that you can be helped
fan x
Hi Eddie
Welcome to the site. On here you will get loads off support and help. You will see you are by no way alone in how you feel. I am sorry how you are feeling and i appreciate how hard it when you lose friends, that happened to me. It is peoples lack of understanding of the illness.
We will help you all we can and hopefully in time you will start to feel a lot better.
Lots of Love Sal xxxxx
I have such low self confidence, I feel as if I am wearing a hat with 'Mad Axeman' on and people look at me.
I now never leave the house unless it's for special Docotrs appointments.
And yet on the other hand I feel sick if I have to go to my out-patients appointments and very upset at having to go.
hi it does knock your confidence but im sure you will get it back as you get better
i dont think people looking at you will even be able to tell you have any sort of problems so dont worry about what other think of you
fan x
I have decided that honesty is now the best policy no matter how much it hurts.
I would always get very cross at my parents if they told my Psychiatrists anything that I didn't want public knowledge.
As I see nobody else apart from members of my family, it is often Mum and Dad who get the brunt of my verbal aggression, nver snd physical aggresion.
I absoultly hate myself after shouting or arguing with them afterwards about things.
Trigger words realy set me off, I my Dad is joking around and says something like ' Don't be stupid or thivk ' I find that realy hurtful even though they don't mean it.
nomorepanic
09-03-05, 19:17
Hiya MRC
Welcome aboard.
As you probably appreciate this isn't just going to go away on its own. It has to be tackled in stages and by taking "small steps" each day to move towards a more copable life!
Firstly read all you can on the main website at www.nomorepanic.co.uk. Read the FIRST STEPS post right away.
Do you eat well and get any exercise atall?
Do you have any hobbies or interests?
To tackle these issues you need to be strong mentally and physically well (i.e. a good healthy diet).
Get yourself a good relaxation CD and listen to it religiously every day.
Read the posts on here and you will soon see that there is hope but it does take hard work I am afraid.
I hope we hear more from you soon.
Nicola
My sleep pattern is all to heck, it's like it could be any time of the day or night realy.
I sometimes sleep due to being toaly bored and it passes some time away.
I have found that some medicaton has made me gain weight.
Ii have a terrible short term memory and even forget if Ii have eaten a main meal.
Even though things like medication are to be taken every day, I constantly have to be reminded by my folks as to take my tablets ect.
Eddie,
Welcome to the site. Loads of support & friendly people here, so you are no longer alone with all this.
It's so easy to become isolated because many people do not understand these conditions+when we feel really low we cannot keep up the social contact.
It's great that you have come here---& taken that 1st step towards getting your life back. Most people here have been through some, or all, of what you are experiencing & will help & support all they can. You can & will get better, it takes time
& commitment---but things will improve.
Linda. x
Being defeated is often a temporary condition. Giving up is what makes it permanent.
Thank's Linda and all the others.
I decided that I needed a froum where I could be myself with all my failings.
Somtimes I have felt that I need to cover up the fact that I have been ill for nearly 10 years now.
the last couple of years I have got in control ab it more of my depression but otherwise I sem stuck.
I have felt very anxious about going to any groups and talking about my problems.
I used to have to go past the proper 'Ppsychiatrict' ward to go to my Psychiatrists appointment and it developped into such a phobia that I would go and never be allowed out again that it has stopped me from going to some of my appointments.
hi you say your "failings" but you havent failed at anything these things happen and sometimes we dont know the reasons, try not to let your fear of the psychiatric ward put you off going to your sessions as im sure they will be really helpful in getting you well
fan x
I pushed myself so much to achieve that I totaly wore myself out. I had a lot going for now I feel as if I have waisted my chances.
Hi MRC
Welcome to the forum. It is easy to become isolated when you are feeling ill with these problems. I live alone and the only contact I have with people most of the time is through forums like this. This is partly my own fault because my depression and social phobia mean that I don't feel up to being around other people.
I can understand your fears of attending the appointments with your psychiatrist due to worrying about being kept in. I try to avoid all contact with mental health services due to similar fears, although mine originate from threats made to me by my parents when I was a teenager.
You have not wasted your chances at all or failed. You are here looking for help and that is a really positive step. All the time you continue trying to help yourself to recover you are doing the best you can to get well again.
We are here for you.
Karen
It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere.
Clive Edwards
09-03-05, 21:43
Hello Mate
your chances are only wasted if you don't take them.
one thing i read in your earlier message was about being bored.
its easy for me to say but you have got to find things to fill your time.
boredom is stressful and that doesn't help. this is when the mind dwells on all that is negative. exercise is supposed to be good. try a bike ride if you can, thats not an appointment you have to keep, its wherever you take it and home again for as little or as long as you like.
keep your chin up and don't despair. When feeling low log on here and someone will be there. i only joined the other day and this site is fantastic. you're not on your own any longer you can share your fears and people will help you. before you know it youl'll be on here giving encouragement to others.
see you later Clive[8D]
Hi MRC,
Welcome !
We can help with the panic, anxiety and depression if you really want to start making progress but we are not true experts in OCD.
A few questions ?
Do you know what triggered this initially, what was your life like then ?
What sort of help apart from meds have you had ?
What do you do during the day - exercise , hobbies etc.
What sort of things do your parents do for you that you are uncomfortable with ?
How far out do you venture at present and what are your fears surrounding this ?
Meg
www.overcominganxiety.co.uk
You cannot conquer fear until you have learned what it is you're afraid of. The enemy is ignorance. Vivian Vance
I hardly ever go out but for the first time tonight for a long time I actualy stood on the doorstep for 15 minutes.
My heart pounding and my head spinning but at least I managed to get to that point.
I have been more or less housebound with agoraphobia.
I don't exactly kow what triggered it. I have had bouts like this over the past say 20 years.
I took on too much when I was at University, it was like anything other than a first was a failure. I pushed myself to the limit and crashed and burned after about 18 months.
For some reason I have always wanted things just so, a perfectionist.
hello MRC,
We have all felt like you are feeling at some point so you are definitely not alone!! It takes a lot of work but you are just as capable of getting through this as anyone else is. Stick around and I'm sure we can help you out..
Sarah :D
Hi Eddie,
Firstly,welcome to the site,you'll find plenty of help and support here.
Up until 2 weeks ago i was also housebound the diffrence was i would't go out at all,i did't go to the doctors so your already a step ahead of me.
To break the cycle of agoraphobia your doing the right thing by standing at the door, it is horrendous i know, but try to stand there for 5 mins a day it really helps and you will start calming down over a few days, try and get a hold of a relaxation tape the benefits are endless.
With the isolation i fully understand what you mean,i started by chatting to people in the chatroom, just talking has really built up my confidence, now i'm possibly one of the loudest people in there!:D:D
You will get better it is possible it took me 2 1/2 years to come to a disicion that no-one but me could get make me get out of this cycle, it can be done as Nic said one step at a time , as i said 2 weeks ago i could't get out my front door now i'm getting nearly as far as my high street, still scary, and sometimes panicy but it can be done.
Good luck Eddie.
Take care
Maxine
MRC,
Well done for your progress today.
If you want to get better you need to find yourself good dollops of:
proactiveness, positivity, persistence, perseverance and practice to equal progress.
The good news is that every one can get back the freedom and independence. Do not expect miracles overnight and you won't be disappointed .
Being a perfectionist is a very common trait amongst chronic anxiety sufferers . This in turn leads to/ is derived from having a low self esteem and thus low confidence.
If you've now read First Steps see what points you can integrate into your life.
If you haven't been out have you been exercising in any other way - if not this is somewhere to start.
You can pick up ex NY resolutions bits of fitness equip for next to nothing in ad mag or alternatively 20 times up and down the stairs wil get you started .
If you have been home bound for long you will have started to lose muscle mass.
We will be here to support and encourage you and give you a gentle shove occasionally and also to pick you up when you find it hard going but only you can choose whether to go for it.
Meg
www.overcominganxiety.co.uk
You cannot conquer fear until you have learned what it is you're afraid of. The enemy is ignorance. Vivian Vance
nomorepanic
10-03-05, 19:11
<b id="quote">quote:</b id="quote"><table border="0" id="quote"><tr id="quote"><td class="quote" id="quote">I hardly ever go out but for the first time tonight for a long time I actualy stood on the doorstep for 15 minutes.
My heart pounding and my head spinning but at least I managed to get to that point.
I have been more or less housebound with agoraphobia.
<div align="right">Originally posted by MRC - 09 March 2005 : 22:54:44</div id="right">
</td id="quote"></tr id="quote"></table id="quote">
I bet if you took a few steps outside the house the anxiety and panic wouldn't get any worse. Once it reaches a limit it will in time come down again.
Try it tomorrow - just on step off the doorstep and stay there - you will see that it won't get any worse.
We will get you out soon if we help and you work at it.
Nicola
Eddie,
A big warm welcome to this site. I hope that you would have sussed out by now that the people on here are so very supportive ~ I was really knocked back when I joined up last month.
Now, you are not alone, you have people around you here. Maybe you have been lost not having any understanding of your anxiety, phobia and depression.
Like all of us here, the road to recovery is not short, but I'm so glad that you have done the right thing by just standing on your doorstep.
It seems that in the past you have pushed yourself TOO much, and if you feel that you have such a mountain to climb, do these things gradually at your pace. People are advised to push themselves, but I'm not sure if you should be doing this until later.
Just take it one stage at a time. If that means only going to the front doorstep for the next week, so be it. But maybe you will soon get to the end of the front path. Its a confidence building thing.
I think logging into the chatroom would be excellent - it will give you a chance to mix with others, even if its only in cyberspace. The chat there is a mix - general chat and banter and also 'serious' talk about our probs.
http://pub4.bravenet.com/chat/show.php/342349380
I hope in time you will find the confidence to get out in the real world more. I can relate to the 'living with parents' scenario, and it can be hard to break out. One day you will get there, and it will have been worth it.
Take Care,
Ray
Thank you ray, you are right I have pushed myself way too much in the past.
It was like when I was at University if I got a first but 85% I would be upset about not getting 100%.
I always put impossible goals as my aims in life.
At least I understand that part but it's hard to change the habbits of a lifetime.
Eddie
You did really well doing what you have.
I know you feel you have to give a 100% everytime but you honestly dont, one step forward will lead to another step.
Lots of Love Sal xxxxx
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