scared of going mad

[peach]

hi all,


i have these odd feelings from time to time, well lots actually....like i feel like my mind is loosing control, i get fearful and scared that i will loose my mind....now i know reading here somewhere ages ago, that mad people dont know they are mad, so this should prove that this is the anxiety, not madness, as it feels...its hard to describe, but its very scary and im not sure what to do about it...is it fixable? can i make it go away? i hope so cause im not sure i can handle another 50 years or so feelng like this. the 'sick spells' are bad enough to live with...anyonethink i can get rid of those as well? any help would be great. thanks for reading. this place is the only way i can get any support or help, i have none in my real world..i really do listen to what is said here and take any advise, help...etc.


any ideas? can anyone relate?

[PUGLETMUM]

:D hi peach, how are you? well obviously you are worried, but how are things otherwise - whats happening with the job?

right, this fear of going mad is a common sympton peach, you are not alone. i have had it a few times(i mean over the years, not just once or twice!) but this last depression ive been through which meant my anx was sky high i did not worry once about my mental health! so it will go and you wont feel like this for the next 50 years! but you must try to stop worrying about it, as the worrying is making it worse? please just keep reminding yourself that it is a symptom (a mental one not a physical one, so this is one of the thoughts we have when we are anxious as well as all the physivcal symptoms youve been feeling) and the slowly it will lessen and you will be able to see that your fear of how your feeling mentally is creating more and more adrenaline which is keeping you in this fearful loop. it will go but you may have to actively help it to go, stop focusing on it, accept it for wha tit is - anxiety, distract yourself with anything that takes up your mind and stops it from wandering (this is by far the hardest thing for me as my concentration is crap when im highly anxious, as im sure lots of ppls is) and also commit to relaxation/meditation - this is next on my list as i feel i need to really unwind myself now. we'll do it together peach!:hugs: all the best sweety, emmaxxxxxxxxx

[peach]

i swear emma you are like an angel here....you always give me good advice and lots to think about...

i hope i can repay you some time....

i start the job on mon...ive been pushing myself a bit lately...maybe thats why im rebounding a little...i guess... ive been getting this 'mad' feeling on and off a few times a week since 2 yrs ago when i suffered a severe panic attack.....you know tho, ive read so much on here about others suffering 'mental' symptoms and always thought that i have none. that i only suffer physical symptoms, and always thinking the physical are much worse then having 'bad' thoughts...but your right, this is mental....i do try to distract myself and am getting terrified im going to mess up this job. i had to be there 2 hours today, so they could show us around etc....i had hot flushes the whole time.....i really hope full time work wont be like that.

yo know what else i hate- how self absorbed this disorder makes me. i just hate it. i hate how ive lost almost all my friends, well, all in fact. i cant tell any of them about what im going through, because when i try they laugh, and joke about me behind my back. they just think im a waste of time. my family think the same. even the only patient person, my hubby, gets angry with me, and can you blame him, i would hate to live with me. blah blah, rant rant..lol....how long will i have to keep fighting this?

not feeling like this for the next 50 years sounds just great to me. bring it on.

[chalky]

Hi Peach,

Emma and you have provided a great example of NMP in action!!!
:hugs: :yesyes: :hugs: :yesyes: :hugs: :yesyes: :hugs: :yesyes:

I can identify totally with your thoughts-and that is what they are.Learning to discard bad or unproductive thoughts is a big step for us,but one day at a time,it can be done.
Best wishes,
Chalky

[PUGLETMUM]

:yesyes: :flowers: :D :hugs: peach my friend you dont ever have to repay me! i know how much youve been suffering and as a long time sufferer i want to help, im glad i do help you.

undoubtedly the new job has increased the anx - remember back before you got like this? even doing new things then was daunting wasnt it? for the first time anyway, but now you seem to expect (or should i say we) things to be like they used to be - they will in time, but while your in the middle of this things will be very very tough, and you have to be your own best friend here to give yourself so much love and support to get better. you can feel like crap and do this job - whats the alternative?

ive been feeling like poo for around a year peach but ive just kept on at it and now its getting easier - you cant ever ever give up with this because there is life after anxiety disorders!!!! also i know how you feel about friends, but this gives you the opportunity to meet new nicer (maybe) more genuine, caring ppl, you get to decide who your friends are:hugs:and also i think it says alot about you that you acknowledge how intropesctive this makes an individual, which unfortunately whether we like it or not is deeply unattractive so maybe all the more reason to get out of it? the better you get, the less self obsessed you are, the more confident you become and then you dont have to feel like a drain on ppl, so you dont have to say, your a pain to ppl coz your not - but the best thing is 'freedom' they cant say your a pain and you get to have the confidence to say ' go screw yourself' when ppl are putting on you and being unfair!!! its a win win situation when you recover:yahoo:

oh yes ive just thought of a way to repay me - you can put me up in oz when i come there for a hol!:roflmao: keep in touch and keep posting i for one am behind you all the way - your friend emmaxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx