The long road to recovery

[billywhizz]

I've been planning to go for a short walk all week this week, and today i finally went for it. I only walked around my estate but i feel quite positive about doing it.

I started out feeling fine for the 1st 200 yards, but as i reached the furthest point from my house the negative thoughts began, i was thinking about my breathing and i was feeling quite anxious, but as i reached the half-way point the anxiety began to subside, and when i reached my road i thought i'd add a little extra to the journey, so i carried on round for another 5 minutes. Although i had the bad feelings, i was in a situation where the only way to escape it was to carry on. So i did.

I got home and jumped on the exercise bike for 10 minutes, i was knackered by this stage lol.

But alltogether i feel a bit more positive about things, I will do exactly the same walk tomorrow and hopefully it will become easy, and i wont even think about a thing. The plan is to keep doing this untill i become completely relaxed with the route, then i will make the walk a little further and a little more testing to push myself just a little further.

So all in all im havin an ok day.

I'll keep u posted on the progress of my long and testing road to recovery and the so called 'normality' of life.

[Lindalou64]

Thats Great Billy Keep Up The Good Work..........linda

[dawny]

Thats Brilliant.....well Done And Good Luck For Tomorrow, It Will Get Easier The More Times You Do It....i Know....small Goals Are Best......

Love Dawny

[chalky]

Hi Billy,

Fantastic post!!!!
:yesyes: :yesyes: :yesyes: :yesyes: :yesyes:
Looking forward to watching your progress.
Keep up the good work.
Best wishes,
Chalky

[Lilith1980]

Billy that's great news, well done! :yesyes:

Keep doing it in small easy stages like you are doing now, that's a great idea!

Jo xxxxx

[cl13]

:yahoo: Hi Billy

Great news..... well done!!

Love Claire

[celeste]

Well done Billy. We're all behind you :yesyes: :hugs:

[JulieAs45]

Great news Billy :yahoo:

That was so brave to keep walking even tho you felt anxious, that's just the way you should do it, even if its uncomfortable push yourself a little more! :yesyes:

Well done, I really think you should do it again tomorrow and if you do could you pop to the shop and get me some milk? :winks:

Julie
:flowers:

[domino]

Wow that,s fantastic, if you need some company you know where i am, domino my dali would never refuse a walk .:yesyes:

[ladygrom]

hey billy well don thats great news xx

[lorac]

Well done billy little steps at a time lead to bigger ones, that's how I'm doing it and it does work.

Carol x

[leisa]

WELL DONE BABE,U DID ITXXXXX carry on till u get bored ov the same walk then u"ll wanna do alittle more/different, keep it up u can do it i no u canxxxx

[billywhizz]

Thanks for the support you guys, you'd be amazed at how much it helps.

Guess what.......

..... i did my walk again today.

I was really nervous before i went because of the feelings i had yesterday, i didnt want to feel uncomfortable again. I was talking myself out of going and i was doing a really good job at it too.

But before i could completely rule out the walk i decided to get my shoes on and just do it. I went for exactly the same route, and i had my bottle of water and my chewing gum, and my mp3 player for emergency purposes.
Fortunately there was know emergency, thank god!! lol. I got to the stage that i felt uncomfortable at yesterday and i couldnt help but start thinking about the breathing again, i tried to relax myself by slowing down and staying positive, and before i knew it i was on the 2nd half of the walk heading back.

So all in all, im quite happy with the way it went, i'd say overall it was a 10% improvement on yesterday, an thats good enough for me, i shall do the walk again tomorrow, and im looking for a slight improvement again, every little helps, and it really makes you feel like this can be beaten. I mean lets not get carried away, i've only walked for like 10/15 minutes, but for me thats massive.

I need to thank everyone for taking an interest, it really spurs me on, you guys are great and i only hope i can help someone the way i feel i've been helped. I know all the therapists and gp's say that anxiety can only be beaten from within, but if only they understood how much a shove in the right direction and a little positive motivation helps.

I must keep trying because tomorrow the sun will rise, and who knows what the tide may bring.

Billywhizz

p.s Special thanks to leisa.... hopefully i can return the favour someday. :hugs:

[JulieAs45]

Billy

Did you get my milk? :shrug:

Seriously tho, well done again today, I know you wasn't feeling great earlier so it was brave to go out regardless. Keep at it and soon you'll be flying (to America hopefully!) :yesyes:

Julie
:flowers:

[BasilCat]

Hi Billy, I am behind you too and know exactly how you feel. You are doing great though. I have only just this last weekend walked into the town centre on Saturday afternoon!! It was the first time in 6 months that I did it on a busy Saturday afternoon. I had done it in a morning when it was quiet but not a Saturday afternoon so I felt quite good that I had been able to do that. Plus I had to park quite a way from the shops so that was good as I have been trying to get further and further away from the car in recent months too. Like you I have my MP3 player with me at all times and a drink too.

Keep going Billy. The more you do it, the easier it becomes.

Take care
Shirley
x x x

[lorac]

Billy don't look for improvements each time you go out just accept how you feel. If you look for improvements it just puts added pressure on you. I have been making great improvements lately and probably do most things now but I still have bad days or even bad moments. Try and learn not to be dissapointed when they happen and just carry on doing.

I wish you well with your journey and good luck it does get easier just go with whatever comes it is well worth the effort.

Love
Carol
x

[BasilCat]

Hi Carol, I quite agree when you say to Billy, not to look for improvements each time you go out, and just accept how you feel. As you say it puts pressure on you if you are always looking for improvements, doesnt it. I have been doing just as you say for several weeks now and I am doing a lot better. I still have a way to go but things are much better than they were at Xmas. Thats also true, try not to be disappointed if you get a rough day, just carry on. I felt a bit rough yesterday but didnt let it get on top of me (it takes some practice) and I was out of the house from 10am till 3.45pm! I am glad you are doing so well Carol and glad that I am making progress too.

I am sure that Billy will get there too.

Love Shirley
x x x

[lorac]

We will all get there in the end shirley.

Love
Carol
x

[BasilCat]

Hi Carol, Yes we will all get there in the end. I have felt unreal most of the day but I managed to drive hubby to a garden centre 8 miles away and we spent about an hour there including having a cuppa in the cafe. Then I drove the 8 miles back again and into town to get the kids from the pictures and bring them home. It was good going considering the unreality. I couldnt have done that a month ago so that was another step forward. Hope you are having a good weekend.

Love Shirley
x x x

[Yvonne]

Billy

I think your positive attitude is marvellous. Keep doing it daily and as everyone else has said don't put any pressure on yourself to feel better next time. You have to get to the stage where t he panic symptoms begin not to matter and you start to pay less attention to them.

Shirley, I think it's pretty amazing considering how rotten you felt to drive all that way. You should give yourself an enormous pat on the back. x

[BasilCat]

Hi Yvonne, Yes I am pleased that I was able to go to the garden centre today and am trying to, as you said to Billy, get to the stage where the unreality etc doesnt matter anymore. I am gradually paying less attention to how I am feeling but its a bit different when it comes to driving, as, needless to say, it can be dangerous cant it. The other side of this afternoons drive was the fact that I took my husband and I always feel better on my own when I am trying to deal with anxiety. So I have been reluctant to go anywhere with anyone in recent months. With this in mind, not only did I go to the garden centre in the car today but I took someone with me. I have to get used to going around with people again sometime dont I. I am getting there, slowly but surely. How about you Yvonne? I hope you are getting there too. Billys attitude is ,marvellous isnt it.

Love Shirley
x x x

[billywhizz]

Thanks for the comments so far, and sorry i didnt get to post over the weekend, its been a busy few days, which has definately helped take my mind off the anxiety. Unfortunately i didnt go for my walk over the weekend, but i was outta the house for a good 4 hours on sunday, looking for a car, i found one and i did the haggling myself which is a first. i definately felt the anxiety but i just kinda sat back and observed myself, and the feelings just subsided.

Anyway back to the long road. lol. Well today is monday and i felt like i should get back into the walking. This time i did the route backwards just to change the pattern a bit and it was a success, the walk went much better than the 2 previous efforts. Thats not to say that the negative thoughts werent there but i was able to rubbish the thoughts in my head and just push them aside. I even managed to walk out of my estate and up a HUGE hill to the post box. This was just a spur of the moment thing, i was feeling ok so i thought id push it a little, and yes the feelings were there but still i was able to just observe and it went no further.
I am definately benefiting from the fresh air, i've slept so much better the last couple of nights and i've woke up feeling wide awake instead of feeling like i could sleep all day.

So far so good, thanks again for taking an interest in my recovery, i really appreciate the kind words and the motivation.

Tomorrow is a new day and we'll take it one step at a time but as it stands im feeling better than i have for years, im so aware that it only takes one bad thing to slip back into the bad times, thats the thoughts that i want to get rid of, i want to look forward instead of looking back and watching over my shoulder waiting for the next panic attack.

Billy x

:yahoo:

[domino]

:yahoo:well, you are a breath of fresh air to us all billy, you have come such along wayin such a short time. Small steps BIG REWARDS:bighug1:

[chalky]

Hi Billy,

I can smell a London Marathon in the air!!!!

:hugs: :yesyes: :hugs: :yesyes: :hugs: :yesyes:

Great oak trees grow from tiny acorns.
Keep up the good work.Varying your route-different distraction-is an excellent idea.
Best wishes,
Chaky

[loopy loo]

Well done Billy!! Remember, every step is a step nearer to success!! Keep on walking!!

Luv Loopy Loo xx:D

[BasilCat]

Hi Billy, Great to hear about the car and that you were out of the house 4 hours on Sunday. You did wonderful to feel the anxiety, sit back and observe your self - how good to know that the feelings just subsided. Well done with your walking too. I think the fresh air is an enormous benefit to us. Great to hear that your walking is getting better and that you are able to rubbish the thoughts in your head, because thats what they are, rubbish.

Like you going out walking Billy, I have been trying to walk further from my car when ever I go anywhere. And I have done better in the last couple of weeks. I went through a stage of wanting to park outside any shop I was going to or any cafe or what have you. But I am slowly but surely getting away from that now and going a bit further.

So keep up the good work Billy and I will too. You are not alone.

Love Shirley
x x x

[BasilCat]

Hi Billy, How are you doing? I hope all is going well for you. I managed to walk round the near by botanical gardens yesterday so that was good, even though I was feeling unreal at the time. It got less though as I walked around. Keep up the good work.

Shirley

[elvira]

When you get to that anxious moment-use your mind immediately to distract yourself. Think about what you will cook for dinner or focus on a beautiful tree-anything and that anxious moment will be no longer.Good luck.

[Veronica H]

:yesyes: you are a real inspiration Billy.

Well done!

Veronica