Quuestion re: 9year old

[kmp001]

I have posted below with regard to my 9 year old daughter - I just have another couple of questions that has been on my mind last few days in preparation for my appt on Friday. Firstly is it hereditory? I only made the connection a few days ago but her dad has been on anti-depressants for the last 18 mths and he told me at the time that he had also been having what they classed as panic attacks. He has had forms of depression in the past. Secondly I have spoken to Alice as she overheard a conversation that I had with her Godmother who suggested anxiety attacks)as she called to see how things were going. I told Alice that I had spoken to Karen because she thought that she may have the same as her sister Claire. I tried to explain the basics to her and said that it was nothing to be ashamed of or scared of and that she is not on her own and I realise that she cannot help it and she burst into tears and said no I can't and I don't why I get so upset. She so desperately wants to understand why and I explained to her about the doctors appt adn she got very upset saying that they will ask her questions that she can't answer and I told her that yes they will but they will also be able to give her the answers that she is looking for. I have promised her that no-one else needs to know unless she wants them to as she is extremely self conscious and worries terribly what other people think of her. Sorry this has turned into a long one again!!! i am going about this the right way? Thank you for any advice Karen

[Meg]

Hi Karen,

Yes , it's often inherited. There is a school of thought that some of this may be down to learned behaviour. ie. if you see Mum panicking you learn that behaviour too.

In studies of patients with anxiety, 18% of first degree relatives also have the same disorder , compared with 2% of distant relatives; 60% of patients have at least one relative with the same disorder, compared with 15% of control patients.
In twin studies it's 45% for both identical twins to suffer and 15% for non identical twins.

I think you're doing absolutely the right things.

Have the books arrived ? It makes so much difference to children that they can associate and not feel so isolated and abnormal.

Roll on Friday ..




Meg

Watch your thoughts, they become your words...
Watch your words, they become your actions... Watch your actions, they become your habits... Watch your habits, they become your character... Watch your character, it becomes your destiny...

[twister]

my mum used to suffer from them before I was born but hasn't done for years and my sister suffers from them still.

[andrew]

hi karen

your doing great, its not a easy situation for anyone to deal with.

i did want to say, do you need to bring alice to the g.p. i might have this wrong but ideally all you want from the g.p. is a referal to a specialist who knows how to talk to children, explain whats happening and aid her recovery. does she need to be there, have you thought about what you expect to happen. my experience is that g.p.'s are hit and miss, you might need to say 'thats what i want'

keep in touch, ask whatever, good luck for friday, try not to worry.

take care andrew

[kmp001]

The books still haven't arrived they have told me that they will be here by the 18th!! I was hoping that they would be here by Friday still what can I do!!! Andrew you are absolutely right - i have considered whether I should take her with me - my only thought was I didn't want the Doctor to say to me that she can't do anything without speaking to her 1st and delay what I suspect is going to be a long wait in any event. I have no idea what kind of waiting list there is for a specialist in this field. I think that I will ask Alice to wait outside in case - although on the other side of the coin I don't want her to feel that people are discussing her behind her back and her not know what is going on. Alice is very old for her years and worries incredibly. I have also considered the fact that more than likely I am going to get the brush off and patronised into 'it's her age' or 'she is just over sensitive' which is what a family memeber has already said!!! But I know her and I know that she needs help and you all have given me confidence in that this needs to be dealt with. Wish me luck!!!! Who said being a parent was easy!!LOL

[nomorepanic]

Karen

That is a shame about the books - would have been some good preparation for you.

I think that you should include Alice in the whole process - let her come in to the doctor's with you, and don't leave her outside wondering what is going on.

Above all don't let the doc fob you off. If you talk calmly and rationally then she will see that it is more than just concern for Alice and I find female doctors are always more understanding anyway.

Best of luck


Nicola

[Meg]

Karen,

We'll be thinking of you tomorrow...

I'd be inclined to include Alice from the start and then if necessary ask her to wait in the reception if the Gp wants a few words just with you. That way she knows what's been going on and won't add to her anticipatory anxiety. She may be cross for being dismissed but that may not be necessary at all.

There is a lot of heated debate about kids and SSRI's at present. I can send you that privately if you want to be aware.

I'm sure you have ideas of what you want to get out of tomorrow. Unless that GP can persuade you they have recent specialist paed knowledge - stand firm.


Meg

Watch your thoughts, they become your words...
Watch your words, they become your actions... Watch your actions, they become your habits... Watch your habits, they become your character... Watch your character, it becomes your destiny...

[Lottie32]

Speaking as somebody who suffers like Alice has, I can honestly say that I think she should be included right from the start. After all it is HER problem.

I know if my mum ever went into the doctors, and I knew they were discussing me, I used to get myself so worked up, I couldn't hear what the doctor was saying, or answer coherently.

Meg and Nicola are both excellent at advice. Take Alice in, explain calmly and rationally what the symptoms are, and let Alice participate as much or as little as she likes.

And above all - good luck and don't worry - you are doing the best for Alice, and I'm sure that very soon, she will start to feel better.


Charlie

[kmp001]

Meg if you wouldn't mind sending me that - that would be great kpickering27@aol.co.uk. I agree that Alice should be included and I will let you all you know tomorrow evening how I get on.