View Full Version : Not sure where to turn next...
Hello
I'm 23 and am so frustrated at the moment, I don't know what to do.
I live at home (after a few attempts at living away from home), and I cannot leave the house on my own (or be in the house on my own). I have my own car, yet I cannot drive it anywhere alone. I do work, but only because my boss gives me lifts in and home every day, and everyone at work knows about my panics.
I can't go very far into buildings either, which makes life interesting!
I know this sounds like a lot of "rules", but I just seem to be frozen with fear every time I try anything.
I have had various pyschotherapy/counselling for years now. I saw a psychiatrist a while back, and was diagnosed with "panic disorder", and she prescribed some medication - which basically make me so sleepy I couldn't panic - not too good for work though - I felt like I was slurring my speech and almost fell off my chair so many times at work!
Recently, medication was suggested, but I really don't want to do that, as I am quite ambitious, and I just know that if i'm that sedated again, I wont be able to study.
I decided to try hypnotherapy, but that seems to have had no affect yet - even the hypnotherapist was surprised that I hadn't seen any improvement.
Being this bad really upsets me - on Thursday I have to go with my mum and her boyfriend on their Valentine's Day meal!!! I hate the fact that I can't enjoy time with my friends, go on holiday, go to see client's (work) etc etc
Does anyone have any advice? Because I just don't know where to turn!!!
Kate
xx
Hi Kate,
I think it would be in your interest to have a thorough review with your G.P.-my reading of your post suggests that you have tried many treatments but do not have a properly defined treatment plan in place.Take along a print-out of your post as it really does set out your issues quite clearly.
I understand your reluctance over Meds yet there are many available which would not have such a debilitating effect on you and which may provide some help to you in the short term.This needs to be discussed with your G.P.
It may sound hard but you seem to have people on hand to re-inforce your problems.For example,your boss's willingness to transport you may reflect respect for a valued member of staff but in so doing,it is stopping you from facing and dealing with your fears.
I do not underestimate the depth of your fears and how traumatic they can be but they must be treated.
Could you be receptive to C.B.T.?
You sound like a very clever,determined and ambitious person.With hard work and a proper programme in place,I am sure you will succeed.
Try not to view your problems long-term,i.e. at the moment there are things which I am unable to do but by working calmly and consistently,change will come.
Best wishes,
Chalky
Hiya Kate
I have never been convinced that meds are the answer. I tend to see them as a tool to help the sufferer "chill" enough to respond to therapy.
There must be a root cause to the anxiety. My own was health anxiety = panic attacks and a constant feeling of doom.
I tried several meds on the GP's advice without any success. I started to research anxiety for myself, using the Internet (although this can be daunting as so much rubbish is written on the net) Claire Weekes books and journals I could find.
After a few years of turmoil, I finally came to terms with the fact that, how we think, is directly related to how we are going to feel. This is key to over-coming and coping with anxiety and panic.
I would agree with Chalky in that CBT may help you correct the "faulty thinking". I would discuss with the GP your options on talking therapy, and in the mean time maybe get hold of a copy of Claire Weekes books.
I also had a lot of success, overcomeing panic attacks with exercise. Although initially going to the gym with ultra high anxiety was not fun, after a few visits, my anxiety seemed to drop off significantly.
Also, have a think about what you eat, there is strong evidence to suggest that a good healthy diet can lessen anxiety.
Now just to agree with Chalky again (becoming a habit this, I try not to agree with Gers fans ;)) another key component is not to avoid situations, but to "practise" them, but do not get dis-heartened if you flee a building or shop etc. Just practice it again another day.
Good luck
Jaco
pink daisy
11-02-08, 15:24
Hi Katie
It sounded like i was reading about myself.. A year ago i couldnt drive on my own.. and I couldnt stay on my own ever in my house, I couldnt walk anywhere with or without people really.. and same as you in buildings.
I then started to have eft its emotional freedom teqnique its a form of tapping i had therapy over the phone.. after a couple of sessions i was able to drive a little bit i my town.. and i got more confident and i really started to believe that i could get over this.. i then stoped as i just thought i could see someone that got taught by paul mckenna could just wave a wand and make me better but didnt happen and never will...
I now have taken up eft again and i can now stay on my own in my house if i know one of my friends r in there house in my town so they could coma and rescue me lol
and now i have started to walk a bit on my own actually 25 yards to my car cos i decided to move it further away from my house to practise.
I have had 3 sessions of eft on the phone in the last two weeks and i do some cbt with same lady on the phone.
She sets me homework to do and i do the tapping everyday on my own i even taped my last session on my video recorder so i can go over it....
my sessions cost £35 a time but u like have 3 or 4 sessions and then you do alot on your own and contact therapist when u want and that is a bonus and then have a therapy session like one every three weeks or more or less..
you can get other eft therapists that cost £100 a time on the phone but the lady i have is in her last bit of training and is already a therapist i cbt and nlp and she is a counciller too so its not like a hobby of hers....
i think that is a long enough post from me lol ..
You you would like to know more write back or give me a private mail or i am on msn if u want to chat..
Kate xx aka Pink-daisey
Hi kate,
I had all the same difficulties as you are having.I was tried on every kind of medication one can think of.In fairness some helped a little others just made me think I was going completely daft. In saying this for some people medication is certainly a useful tool.
I had Thought Field Therapy and it knocked chunks out of the old panic and agoraphobia.It lifted the intensity it but I still wasnt as I would percieve"normal".I was still avoiding doing a good lot of stuff and certain places.
I was lucky enough to find a therapist that combines EFT with hypnosis a few miles from where I live.
I downloaded the free manual for EFT from www.emofree.com (http://www.emofree.com)
and set about the "the basic recipe".I use it on everything.It really has helped.
Of course sessions with a good therapist are important but there is alot we have to do on own unfortunately,
best of luck hun
bet:hugs:
Thanks to you all for your posts.
I have tried CBT, and I take a lot of exercise (as I thought that that might help, but doesn't seem to have as yet). I also try to eat fairly healthily, although I have taken wheat and dairy (temporarily) out of my diet because I might be intolerent to them.
I had never heard of EFT before, so I shall definitely look into that more.
I know what you're saying about having to do a lot of it ourselves, but I just can't seem to do it. Some days I say to myself, right, this has gone on long enough, i'm just going to do it (go in there, drive somewhere etc etc), but when I actually come to doing it. I just can't. I'm hyperventilating before I even leave the house/get in the car/go in the building!!! I do try to drive in front of my mum in the mornings - to get practice, but I just don't seem to be able to pull away from her or anything.
It's definitely reassuring to know that some of you have had success at fighting it, and therefore that it is possible that I will one day too. I just hope it's before the whole of my "young" (23-30) life has disappeared!! :)
Thanks again for all your advice. Much appreciated.
Kate
xxxx
Kate cbt got me off meds and I have not had any panic attacks since then. Have you read the cbt book by Sam Obitz. You really have to work on the TEA forms everyday to get the most out of it in my experience. I still do them almost daily. We really do have to help ourselves to get better but the good news is that once we do it boosts our self-confidence because we know that we got ourselves better:D I hope you find something that helps you help yourself get over the PA's!
hi kate,
apologies I dont know what TEA forms are but I think its important to be gentle with yourself.One of the best ways to help yourself is start small.whether its driving a few extra yards walking a few extra yards each day or whatever.its important to stick with it.I know its not easy.
the way I look at it is I didnt choose to have this anxiety disorder but I am choosing to let go of it.
Bet x
What's a TEA form?
TEA stand for Thought Error Analysis and is the main exercise you do in cbt. They help you learn to think more realistically.
Thanks Bet for your message. I keep making progress and then slipping right back to the start without even realising!
And thanks to cece for explaining TEA. I know what you mean now. Thanks again.
Kate
xx
Hi Kate,
As you can already see , many of us have been through similar things to you and do understand what you are going through.
But you are unique so none of us can truly put ourselves in your place. Some things work for one person but might not for another.. Its a real mine field isn't it?
The only answer is to keep trying ...new treatments or therapists. Keep looking til you find the right one for you. I have been in dispair too and thoughts of "nothing seems to work " and "will I ever recover" going through my mind.
As everybody has already said though it really does begin with you....You are doing this to yourself... You are responsible for what is happening and you have to deal with it.. All the advice in the world cannot take that away.
Dont be hard on yourself though because this is very important.....ITS NOT YOUR FAULT... Even though it comes from you its not your fault. Something in your life or disposition has brought these terrible panics on beyond your understanding.
So do take all the help you can get. Be gentle with yourself and become your own counsellor. ask yourself what advice would you give to someone in exactly the same position. what would you tell them to do. Be patient with you and take small and gentle steps to recovery. If you have a bad day ....well, its what you would expect isn't it? Nobody just miraculously recovers ...everybody takes the odd step backwards. Its up to you to take back control of your life and no longer be a victim to your own mind. This is the best advice I can give... AS SOON AS ONE SINGLE NEGATIVE THOUGHT EVEN BEGINS TO APPEAR WIPE IT OUT WITH A GIGGLE AT YOURSELF... get rid of it immediately. and if another appears , do the same...and again,...and again. Train yourself to wipe out those negative thoughts with positive ones. It wont happen straight away as It takes a lot of effort and practise but you can get rid of those attacks.
At the end of the day when all is said and done its upto you .
You can and will do it...just give it time and keep trying.
The main factor that has helped against my agoraphobia has been getting into the situations that lead to anxiety. Taking good care of yourself will help, but as you know, it ultimately comes down to facing the fears. I still have a lot to improve, but looking back I've made immense progress, I never would have thought I could go places when a couple of years ago I couldn't get to the nearest shop. Also like you I felt like I always had to have someone with me. I still have fears about being on my own, but I think I'm on top of them now.
Thanks Bet for your message. I keep making progress and then slipping right back to the start without even realising!
And thanks to cece for explaining TEA. I know what you mean now. Thanks again.
Kate
xx
No problem and best of luck to you:)
How's your life going Kate? I hope you are doing well:)
Thanks for thinking of me.
Things have changed....for the worse :(
My sister came to stay with us for a week, and I had a few night-time panics, and my mum really got angry, so we went to the drs who gave me beta-blockers (propanolol - but don't tell me anything about it, coz the dr made me promise not to read the leaflet). I took that (10mg 3 times a day) for 2 weeks, and felt slightly more relaxed, but felt that I needed a little more, so then the dr upped it to 20mg twice a day. Well, felt sick (have emetophobia too) and I panicked..at about 10pm....and my mum couldn't handle it. She was really mad and I felt so alone. In the end I stayed at my friend's house, and then a different friend stayed over the day after. I managed to cope the last 2 nights.....just.....but i'm not eating anything (so that I can get rid of the panic about being sick), so the dr has upped the medication again to 40mg twice a day!!! (as of today....)
So, I guess i'll just have to wait and see what life has in store for me!!
I did however write a diary last night, and it helped me to see how I don't actually have anything to worry/panic about....although easier said than done I have to say!
I wish I could visit this site more often. I don't have the internet at home (mum doesn't want it - she says she can't afford it), so I can only use it at work (during lunch - ie now, and before I go home!).
How are you getting on?
xxxx
Kate it is good to hear from you but sorry to hear you are going through a rough patch:mad: I think it is great that you wrote in your diary though!!! The more stuff you write in it (and it does get easier with practice) the more stuff you can go back and look at and counter in a TEA form and hopefully begin to gain some relief for yourself.
Life is going really well for me right now and I am sorry I have nbot been posting more often. I am in the midst of one of the better stretches where not only my anxiety is under control but work and my personal life are great as well. I have been waiting a long time for this so forgive me for being a bit self indulgent recently. Anyway it's good to check in and please keep me apprised of how you are doing and of course keep writing in that diary!!!:hugs:
Am really pleased to hear things are going well for you. :)
You should definitely enjoy it!!! :)
Take care
Kate
x
Thanks so much Kate :hugs:
I hope you feel better soon and please keep in touch!
Hugs!
charmain24
21-05-08, 21:18
hi i too was like u i was house bound and didnt like to stay in the house on my own and i couldnt go out i travelled as far as my door step i started to rely on my sister alot. i always tried to get someone to come to my house if my sister could not come down. but time is a heeler i now have no probs with staying on my own or going out on my own. hope this helps you xxx
hiya kate, although im not much use on agrophobia i just wanted to say welldone cos from your threads you seem very strong and a fighter and like charmain says time is a healer and sometimes we do have to face our fears head on and keep at it no matter how hard it gets, cos in the end after all the panic and worry u will feel so much better. not the same i know but i have mega dentist phobia and sat for week with pain getting worse in the end it was so bad i had to go and have a filling then few days after he must have done something cos the tooth next to it wot did need a filling but never hurt starting hurting so again i was in pain and even though i was so scared i went and do u know it never hurt one bit and now ive registered with them. i will still panic wheni go but i know it will get easier each time, so keep fighting hun and u will get there xxxxxxxx
Thanks for your posts. The night before last, I decided that I was going to walk round the block. I spent most of the evening psyching myself up to do it, and then at about 10pm, I went for a walk. Had to call my mum half way round after having a bit of a wobble, but I got ALL THE WAY ROUND BY MYSELF!!!! I was so pleased!!!! Last night, I thought, "why don't I take a drive somewhere? - on my own" but then I lost all enthusiasm and motivation when my mum said something nasty to me. even though I knew why it had gone, I couldn't get it back :( Will keep trying!
I hope you're all getting along well.
xxxx
HI,
I am new to this forum, I also find it difficult to go out, and I have a fear of being on my own at home and going too far into buildings.
I also have my own car but I am struggling to drive it although over the last few weeks I have had a few days were I have done well driving my car. Just over a week go I went out in my car (I almost didn't go) I only planned to drive around the block (it takes about 3 minutes to drive around the block) but as I was out my confidence must have increased? and I actually managed to drive locally near where I live, I ended up driving for about 1 & 1/2 hours I am not sure how I managed to do that but I did.
I tend to find it easier later at night to go for a walk when its darker? I take our dog (German shepherd) for a walk at night about 10.30 pm. Some nights its difficult and then some nights I can walk around the block not too bad at all I do have my mobile phone with me, having that gives me reassurance.
GREAT JOB Kate! Every step you take will get you closer to where you ultimately want to be :) I'm really proud of you.
Indigo keep trying and you will get there too.
Thanks Cece. Will keep trying. Hope you're still getting on well.
Rsindigo - well done for your driving recently!! That's really great! :) I wish I had a German Shepherd to take with me!!! I think dogs can be a great source of comfort. It would also give me a reason to walk round the block so slowly....my neighbours must think i'm a bit strange going out in the dark and walking SLOWLY round the block - almost turning back several times!!! :) Keep going and you'll get there in the end :)
Take care everyone
xxxx
hiya and welldone u are really doing well, stay strong and positive and you will get there in the end, small steps are the best onesxxxhugs xxxx
Hi Kate:)
I'm still doing well thanks for asking. I hope you are continuing to make more progress as each little victory eventually can add up to big progress:hugs:
Hi cece,
Unfortunately i'm not continuing to make progress. Things feel really bad at the moment, and I don't have a clue as to why!
I just feel so alone at the moment :(
Glad to hear that you're still getting on well though :)
xx
I'm really sorry to hear this:weep: I wish I had more advice for you but all I can really say is keep trying things until you find what works for you. I hope things turn for the better soon:hugs:
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