View Full Version : Why? where does it come from?
A good question huh....
I introduced myself last night as a person for whom life is pretty good. So why the anxiety and panic attacks? I can find triggers but no obvious underlying issues.
I suppose what I want to ask is - are there reasons for my anxiety, reasons that I have just not unearthed yet. Perhaps there may be no obvious issues, is it just a lifetime of trying to please people.
This is the issue I struggle with, I have accepted the panic attacks and anxiety. However what I have not come to terms with is why? why do I have anxiety when to be honest my life is pretty good.
Is this just me, do others suffer but with no apparent reason.....
I would love to hear if you suffer in a similar way to me..
Angie
I know your life is happy etc etc as you say. However, I am wondering if there was a time when you were under a lot of stress or if you have suffered some trauma which may have scared you. You could have panicked during such a stressful period and the severity of that panic has left it's mark and now certain things are triggering those panic symptoms.
Panic can become an awful habit - this is something I know.
Take care xxxx
Yvonne Hi and thanks for the reply, this is the problem though I can honestly say there is no trauma or stress I can put my anxiety down to. I can find the triggers, i.e weekend abroad with work colleagues (not my idea of fun), first christmas of entertaining for the whole (extended) family - but not an underlying cause, am I just not looking hard enough?
buzzing bees
12-02-08, 20:40
hi my new friend iv tryed so many times to rite down how i feel ,,[ youv rote it for me in the right way ]]
what i mean is i too at time av, the same thing going on my life at times just latly cudnt be better but stil anxity comes a calling, i hope ive worded this right wat i mean is your not alone,, i hope this short mesage elps ,, take care my new friend
Angie, my life has always been good and from the outside people wondered how I could be so messed up, but I was. It took years to find the real source of my problem and it turned out to be the way I was processing my thoughts. You know how two people can have the same experience and one person is happy and one is sad? I was the sad or anxious one and it sounds like you are too. I joined a cbt group and I have not looked back. Once you get the hang of using a tea form and correcting your thinking errors your brain becomes your friend instead of your enemy. I think cbt would help you.
Cece, Thanks for the reply, what you say makes so much sense. I do often question my thought processes as I am quick to err on the negative side especially about how people perceive me. I have considered CBT - you obviously have benefited from it. You really have given me food for thought - Thank you
I have found over the years that during the bad times I never get panic attacks but its when things are quiet in my life and there are no dramas and I should be feeling great, thats when I start to get the panic attacks. Like now!! Recently have moved away from what was an extremely stressful situation to a much much quieter lifestyle and my panic attacks have returned tenfold. ???
Nikki Hi, perhaps it is because when we are focused we do not have time to think. In the quieter periods we have that space to think and then because our thought proesses tend to be on the negative side the anxiety kicks in? As cece said perhaps CBT is the way forward, if we can challenge our thoughts perhaps we can challenge the anxiety?
Whats CBT? ive never heard of that
Hi Angie, I was like you and ended up seeing a psychologist through work after my third emotional meltdown in my lifetime (I'm 40). I started, like you, by saying how my life childhood etc had been much better than other peoples (materially), nothing terribly bad had happened that I felt could justify why I was a complete wreck with no self esteem. What I discovered through talking and taking the time to examine my feelings was that there were huge chunks of my life that I had filed away and kept a lid on because they were so traumatic, I never ever denied that they had happened but had completely denied the effect these events had had on me growing up, and I carried an unbelieveable amount of guilt over events I percieved as being 'my fault', guilt I have carried around for over 20 years and never until recently taken the time to think and speak about it.
I know this doesnt mean that for everyone there are issues from the past but for me I definitely think its the key....what I found amazing is that the feelings are so intense now I have started working through them I cant believe I managed to convince myself that everything was ok for so long...I thought everyones life was like mine lol!
Anyway sorry didnt mean to turn this into my story...maybe if you want to explore further you should consider some sort of counselling....but maybe acceptance is the key without having to understand why (if that makes sense?). I believe the everyones needs are different when it comes to finding a way to move forward.
Sorry if this isnt much help....but good luck in your recovery.
luv Coni XX
Hi Coni, yep can empathize with that I am the type of person who does tend to box things off that I don't want to deal with. I am seeing a counselor but to be honest I think I possibly give her more info than she gives me (she appears to be training). Acceptance - yep I agree perhaps I need to accept that this is happening to me for a reason and make that reason a positive one. This whole experience has made me make changes (for the better) in my life and it has definitely made me more aware of others (you lot included). To think I used to sail through life oblivious to those around me when those around me were perhaps the most important people (back to my introduction, making time for others).
Thank you you're story is of help, lol to you
Nikita Hi, CBT is Cognitive behavior therapy (NMP details this quite extensively) It is a case of changing negative thought patterns which then become actions into positive ones. I am going to ask my GP about it, maybe you can too?
Ah yes, ive heard of that, thanks
Hi Angie,
Learning about the whys will be an integral part of your and our recovery.From this,you will develop new patterns of thinking,a recognition of what causes you pain/anxiety and the steps to take to decrease it.
One day at a time to recovery.
Best wishes,
Chalky
Thanks Chalky, that is the hard part though, understanding the causes. If it was an obvious thing, perhaps I could come to terms with it - but I have a nice life. Understanding and loving husband, nice kids/ home etc, what have I to be anxious about? Perhaps I need to understand my thinking, my need to please people, is that the underlying thing? One day at a time? Absolutely, I now take time to take pleasure in a moment, in the birds singing at dawn (blimey how many dawn’s have I watched) a beautiful sunset, a friends greeting. All the things that passed me by before PA's. But again why am I anxious when life is good? Am I just sticking my head in the sand about something?
Cece, Thanks for the reply, what you say makes so much sense. I do often question my thought processes as I am quick to err on the negative side especially about how people perceive me. I have considered CBT - you obviously have benefited from it. You really have given me food for thought - Thank you
I'm glad my advice was useful and I hope you can attain similar results with it. Let me know how it goes for you:shrug:
Angie
I'm like you I have a nice life or could have if the anxiety would B****r off.
There doesnt seem to be any reason for it and meds dont seem to work either so what do you do
Joy
hi angie
i feel the same, dont no were it comes from, im so lucky great hubby, 5 great health kids, all good boys, looked for year to find a reason for anxiety and panic because always felt there must be a medical reason for it, but gave up in the end and just have to get on with it, really annoying sometimes, but just have to remember how lucky i am.
and nikki im the same, whene anything going on in my live, cope really well, but week later, when all quite wham bam, (not thankyou man lol) it hits me. really pis&*&*& me off 2 think any stress i have to pay for it later, no matter how hard you try to unstress and relax.
sandy
Angie
Exactly like you I suffer from constant anxiety for no apparent reason.For me it is literally the fear of the fear.as others have described it.I know that the occasional panic attack that may result from the anxiety is nothing to worry about-it will pass in minutes and I will feel much more relaxed afterwards.I guess it's the embarassment of having the panic attack in company that worries me.I'm trying to adopt a "so what" attitude but it is difficult.also trying to change the subject when the anxious thoughts arise.
Best of Luck
John
.
Gryphoenix
16-02-08, 04:09
I feel the exact same way. I had a great childhood and currently have many great opportunities. I don't have a lot of things to worry about in the big picture, but my mind seems to drege up little things to worry about! I noticed that the more I have to do, the less panic I seem to get, even though I have anxiety?
During high school I was sooo busy since I was one of them 'honors' kids and had exams and cramming and stuff. The later years of college weren't hard at all and I only had a few easy classes and I didn't have a job and lived at home. Guess what happened? Panic! Now that I'm incredibly busy again I don't seem to panic as much. So maybe there is a correlation? I'm a big people pleaser too, I hate confrontations. I also have a tendency to think negatively. Some of my fears I can attribute to a certain event (my fear of my heart comes from my dad's health problems and fearing that I'll get them).
I just seem to fear the things I never used to fear, mostly because I fear having a panic during them. I feel like I can't go back to the old level of anxiety during anxious events (like drivers tests, I'm stressed but I cope) cause I might panic.
Angie
I totally relate to what u are saying but will give u one little tip that in all honestly saved me from going nutty (not literally but you feel like you will). Stop looking for the cause, you may never find it and that in itself will cause anxiety. I too had not really had any major problems, no childhood issues etc. etc. and was hit with anx very hard in my mid twenties. I used to drive myself round the bend trying to find the reason why me? I truly do not think there is a reason, I just think it is like any other illness, you either get it or you dont. You are I suppose trying to find the answer as would someone who got cancer with no family history of the problem and them asking why me or where did it come from. As hard as it is and I do mean this in the nicest possible way, dont worry about why or where it came from just use all you efforts to get rid of it. Also, I am not sure if I missed it on your post but not too sure what type of anxiety you suffer from ?
Hi, a book I would recommend is 'Stop thinking and start living' by Richard Carlson.
I also have come to the conclusion that it is the way we percieve life, and mostly in a negative fashion, that causes the stress. When the post arrives I always dread the worst, before even opening it !! When my mobile rings and its the x I always expect an argument, but there are not usually any gremlins in the envelopes and my x may just be asking when the kids are arriving at his !! I live life expecting the worst, and want to live life expecting the best !! But I do believe the past is gone and the only thing keeping it alive are our thoughts and over time things get distorted in out minds.
I am trying to overcome the negative way I think but realise it will take a lot of time.
Christine xx:flowers:
Thank you Lindylou and Christine, it makes so much sense written down. I suppose I am looking for a trigger and like you say there may not be one. Negative? yes I can be accused of thinking in negative terms - something I am addressing but boy is it hard to change a lifetime’s habit. I will get the book you recommend Christine as I am reading quite a lot at the moment. Let’s rise a glass to us all for effort, as effort is something we all have in bundles!
Hi Angie
I totally empathise with you, I too look for reasons why and try to pigeon hole what I am experiencing. I think that the responses to your post are really useful... I cant offer much advice to you other than that I too experience such similar feelings and so as I am sure you know..you are nopt alone. Good luck x
Doing the CBT exercises like the TEA form everyday will retrain your brain to think more accurately about things and reduce your anxiety in a surprisingly short period of time. Read the cognitive book by Sam Obitz and start doing the TEA forms everyday and you will be amazed at your brains transformation
Hi Angie, how are yopu doing? I have not signed on recently but am wondering how things are going with you and your anxiety?id you ever give cbnt a try? I hope your life is going well:)
Angie are you still posting here? I would love to hear how you are doing now. I hope things are going well for you:)
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