Hi everyone

[didunn1]

Joined this forum over a week ago, but wasn't sure what to write. Have been reading your stories and it helps to feel I'm not on my own.

I've suffered from anxiety and depression for 15 years since the birth of my daughter, and recently it seems to be worse. On waking my thoughts keep racing, my self-esteem is really low, I can't bear to look in the mirror some days.

Even though in my heart of hearts I know I'm a good kind person and have lots of friends, I'm really negative about myself. I've done 2 anxiety management courses and I'm waiting to go on another CBT course which seemed to be the only thing that helped me. I felt I'd got my life back, but then slipped back into negative thinking. My internal bully never seems to shut up and I've tried many ways to do so. I've certainly got a library full of self-help books!!

I really do want to change and get back to work as my children are now in Secondary school. I currently work voluntary in a playgroup and for a cancer charity one afternoon a week, I know I have many skills that employers would jump at but I'm scared to commit to a job in case I can't cope. One of my main problems is that I compare myself to other people and run myself down.

Any advice would be appreciated

Thanx

Di

[jude]

Hi Di,

Im glad you decided to post your introduction. Im sure you will find lots of help here.
The problem with this illness is that it seems to destroy our confidence and sap our courage.
It will help to talk to people here because they offer so much encouragement and support.
Im sure you are a lovely person and I look forward to speaking to you again in the future.

Take care
Jude x

[vernon]

Hi, Welcome to the site hope you find plenty of help and support here as i am sure you will. I know the feeling of dropping back I was fine for over ten years before this session of anxiety and fears returned. I have tried lots over the years but found this time Relaxation and possative affermations repeated over and over has helped me lots. I think its becouse I do the relaxation every and affermations daily even if i feel ok. Have you got the book Exxential Help for the nerves by Clare Weeks? I found this book realy helped me and was a comfort to read a little every night till i finnished the book. anyway hope u get the help u want from here. Take Care. Vernon.

[sal]

Hi Di

Welcome to the site. You do sound like you have lots of positive assets and i am sure if you found a job that you liked you would really gain some confidence. Even if you got and job and it didnt feel right, you arent tied permanently to it.

Look forward to hearing more from you.

Lots of Love Sal xxxxx

[Meg]

Hi Di,

It sounds like your depression is worse than the anxiety and maybe precipitates it so you need help for that rather than the anxiety first.

What other help have you had ?


Meg
www.overcominganxiety.co.uk
You cannot conquer fear until you have learned what it is you're afraid of. The enemy is ignorance. Vivian Vance

[seh1980]

Welcome aboard!! :D

[carlin]

Hi, i've been with this site since last June, making the first post was very hard, now no-one can get shot of me, i have had a lot of support, advice and help, and relieved to know i was not alone in any of this, you do so well working in a playgroup and also your charity work for cancer, and as said if the right job comes along you could go for it and just see where it leads take your time, one day at a time keep in touch

[nomorepanic]

Hi Di

Welcome aboard and good to see that you have posted after reading other people's stories.

I hope that we can be of some help to you.



Nicola

[jill]

Hi Diane,

Welcome to the site,

LOVE JILLXXX

[Karen]

Hi Di

Welcome to the forum. I'm glad you felt able to post your introduction. You will find everyone here really friendly and we'll do what we can to help and support you through this.



Karen



It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere.

[FAN]

hi welcome to the forum im sure you will find it really helpful

fan x

[Tracy68]

Hi Diane
Welcome to the site. I'm sure you will find plenty of help and support from everyone on here to help you through this.
Take care
Tracy
x

[bubbles]

Diane,

Welcome to the forum. Glad you were able to post.
Loads of kind & helpful people here who will support you through this.

Linda. x

Being defeated is often a temporary condition. Giving up is what makes it permanent.

[Jac]

Hi there I understand what you mean, I also think of myself as a kind caring person, but also hate myself, the way I look and the way I am sometimes,
I also compare myself to other people and put myself down a lot, I do think I'm not worthy of things.

I work part time as an admin assistant at our local Council, and I feel so privaliged to be working there and keep thinking I'm lucky to have such a good job but some days I struggle with my self esteem, feeling I'm not worthy of the job etc.

[tracyp584]

welcome diane!

You are in the right place for support and help.

take care

tracy x x

[didunn1]

Thanx so much for all your replies, nice to feel that I'm not on my own. Went to the gym today,part of my get fit regime, didn't feel so good this morning, felt slightly unreal but feel a lot better tonight. Instead of concentrating on my exercise routine, I spent my time thinking I'm the only one there with anxiety!!

I have had some passive therapy in the past from a psychiatrist who went back into my past to try to discover why I feel the way I do, but that seemed to make me feel worse. I must admit reading my self-help books helps, but it just seems really hard sometimes. I think I ought to study psychology!

I don't think an hour passes without my mind going over whether I am enjoying the moment or coping with the daily chores. I definately over-analyse too much and feel relaxation is the way to go.

Di