How come they dont know whats up??

[mad4it]

HI
I am a long term sufferer of Panic Disorder. Ok i was only diagnosed about six months ago but at last now i have a name for this thing i have experienced for the past four years. My question to you all now is how do you cope with the fact that even though family and friends know what it is you are suffering from why do you still have to explain the problem to them. My best example is that leaving my house to pick my kids up from school induces a massive panic attack. Most days, thank god or any being really, i manage to do it, you know you talk yourself out through it and look like a real looney sometimes, but some days i just know i cannot step outside. Therefore i have to ring round family and friends and ask them nicely if they can go to school and get my kids. Then comes the questions. Why? Whats the matter with you? I even find myself telling my husband again and again what is wrong with me. After all the Mother of his children should at least be able to take the kids school without having to stay in bed all day afterwards. Shouldn't she? Is this problem artificial. Is it real. Nobody I know actually takes it seriously. I dont want to have remind people everyday what is actually wrong with me. Sorry. Probarbly just ranting. But anyone who has to have the same conversations everyday talk to me. Thanks for listening.

K.

[cattttt]

Anyone who has never suffered from this, or has never heard of it ( alot of people haven't ) finds it very difficult to understand. They don't see it as an illness, and may think that you are putting it on, or exagerating in some way.
None of this is much help to you, but somehow, you have to get the message across to them that you have a genuine illness and need help just as if you had a physical illness that needed an operation or something.
The first place to start is your husband, sit him down and lay it all out for him, tell him exactly what's what. You may have to go over things several times so he understands. Once he's got it, get him to help you tackle the rest of them.
Not an easy task, and some people may never understand, there are quite alot who think that you can "pull yourself together", including doctors, so if you have a good one thank that being.

Good luck

[domino]

It is difficult to explain really, i believe that everyone suffers some sort of anxiety in their lives they just do,nt know it yet.Mine came out of the blue, yet my g.p. says to me what caused your anxiety , if i knew that i would try and "sort it out", but you do need to start with husband , if anyone should understand you it should be him. Mine took a while to "get it" but he now helps me though it and family understand too.It,s down to me though at the end of the day.Do try though not to fight this just go with the flow for now ,it will get easier for you, practise your breathing tell yourself this is,nt going to take over your life even thoug you feel it already has.:hugs::hugs:

[mirry]

when i had a breakdown because of it , suddenly every one was listening very well :winks: .

All the time we pretend to cope , they expect us to it seems.

[nikita]

same as what mirry said - im 37 and have been suffering with panic attacks since i was 19. My family never "got it", it was ignored or else seen as an attention seeking thing when everyone who gets them knows that the last thing you want to do is draw attention to yourself when you have one. a few months ago i had a breakdown of sorts, not serious, but then my mum for first time stepped in and she has started to read up on it now. even so, most family members have still no idea i have them because we hide it so well dont we, and my best friends only know recently. It is not seen as something serious, and usually if i have one in company of a sister they will say "oh you must have a hangover"!!

[joy]

Well if I dont understand my anxiety how can I expect others too?

Joy

[chalky]

Hi Mad4it,

Firstly,your problems are very real.
Expecting non-sufferers to understand our problems can be very frustrating for us.Trying to educate them is perhaps a more realistic target.Try printing off some of the information about your condition from this site and give it to your nearest and dearest.
Do not let your frustration at this impasse with your relatives get you down!
It will take time to overcome your problems and it will take time for your relatives to come to terms with it too.If they are better educated about your problems,they will be able to help you face and deal with them.
Best wishes,
Chalky