what shall i do

[mumjoe]

I am starting to feel the onset of a panic attack. I have to go to the hospital tomorrow with my daughter and have been freaking out about getting there. I am so tempted to take the easy way out and let her dad take her but i know she wants me there. i cant let her down but i hate this feeling that is happening. I Know it will be ten times worse in the morning.What should i do.. stay at home or make myself go for her sake. please help!

[kate]

Well personally I would go. How will you be getting there? Is it far away?

Do you have any relaxation exercises you could do?

What exactly is it that you are so scared of?

Kate

[Kim Baker]

Hi! mumjoe,

I can understand fully how you are feeling:hugs:

You don't say why you have to go to the Hospital with your Daughter - could it be this that is making you anxious.....?

I would suggest that you go with your Daughter and your Hubby goes to so there is someone to support you:)

Good luck! tomorrow, try and do some deep breathing and get in an early night, will be thinking of you.......

Love,
Kim X

[PUGLETMUM]

:) hi mumjoe, well i would say it will depend on your exact problem, are you agoraphobic? do you go anywhere on your own with your daughter or is this a first? if this is something you already do and you know you are okay when you do the thing that is upsetting you, then you can remind yourself of your successes - otherwise if you are trying to do too much too soon then this can create this reaction - high anticipatory anxiety - unfortunately for me i usually take the easy option and find other ways of doing things to lessen the anxiety or i avoid it altogether, but that is agaoraphobia. im not sure wha tyour situation is, but if you know you can succeed then you just have to keep reminding yourself of this, otherwise you could try to adapt the situation so that you succeed - get your husband or a friend to ring you while your there to just check in with you that your okay and that if your not they can come and support you? i think youll get the picture of what im suggesting - try to make it so you CAN go? take care emma

[mumjoe]

Thank you all for your comments. Yes i am agoraphobic but not totally house bound. i never go places on my own and always depend on support. i will try my best and get there but if i dont i feel such a failier.
To your question Kate i am really scared of being sick. It is a real big issue for me.

[honeybee3939]

Hi Mumjoe

Have you got a MP3 or Ipod you could listen to if its the journey thats worrying you. I find if im nervous while on journeys a MP3 player really helps to take my mind off things. Also, while at the hospital,if you have to sit around, i would take something to read or a crossword/puzzle book to take your mind off things.

Good luck hun, hope everything goes well for your daughter too.:hugs:

Love
:hugs:
Andrea
xxxxx

[PUGLETMUM]

:) hi mumjoe, im agoro also and the same in that i am not housebound but i am dependant. so this is a major step for you, because you want to be there for your daughter? this is exactly how i would feel too, i would want to go myself but id be worried that i would panic while there and not be able to cope - i dont have a fear of being sick, but when she had her ears peirced 6 weeks ago i had to go out of the shop because i was panicking that if i saw them go in i might faint! that day my mum-in-law was with me but i felt id failed as id took her with me in the first place! so i understand how hard it is, but it wont be easy if youve not been doing this sort if thing. are you going with somebody else as well and your still worried? if so that person can still be responsible for your daughter if say you had to go and get some fresh air or sit somewhere alone to compose yourself? and also you are in a hospital and thats a pretty safe place i feel but you might not agree? also this is anticipatory anxiety and this is what stops us from doing things, its so hard but can you try to ignore all the negatives and keep telling yourself that you will be okay? this is the hardest part i find because it is thes feelings your going through that keep us trapped, i wish you well and i hope you feel better soon whatever the outcome,please let us aall know how you get on? take care emma

[blossom]

I know exactly how you feel, I have suffered Panics and agoraphobia for many years, there has been short periods when I could go with someone, and thought this horrid complaint had left me, but it always comes back, when one gets something to trigger it off.
I should have gone to the hospital with my husband this morning, but worried with the anticiparatory thought for days working myself up, so know how you do feel. In the end I had to ask my son to get the time off from work, to take his Dad, I felt so guilty, but try as I might I could not go.I felt I had let him down, but he did understand. There are days when I can go out with someone in the car, NOT FAR MIND and feel I have achieved something, but I have depression with it, and get home and cry. Hope you managed to get there, I tell myself FEEL THE FEAR AND DO IT Much easier said than done,
I wish you luck love if you do decide to do it. Love Blossom

[belle]

Hi.
I was in your position (twice) with my son. He went and had his adenoids out in 2005. I was terrified of going. My mum took me (i don't go anywhere without her) and i can honestly say i coped fantastically until about 6.30pm (i'd been there since 7am). Like you, i have a fear of throwing up and i was concerned that it would/will happen when i am out. But we know deep down, that it won't.
I had to go back to the hospital with my son in 2006 because the operation didn't work, luckily he was allowed out the same day that time. I coped fine.
Is the hostpial far away?

x

[freakedout]

Hi mumjoe

I think you deserve credit for contemplating going. I always rely on my hubby to do the appointments these days, especially hospital ones, so good on you for thinking about going.

I have no advise really but things that have made it easier for me in the past are parking so I can make a quick gettaway, only going into the building at the very last minute and I would rather stand in a waiting room than sit (I know this draws attention to me, but I feel easier on my feet somehow and make some feeble excuse about having a bad back if someone offers me a seat!!).

If you decide to go, good luck, I hope it goes ok for you

Freaky

[groovygranny]

Hello mumjoe,

You really want to go don't you? And really wanting to go goes a long way to helping you cope with all the anticipatory feelings that you're having.

As has been suggested, have your hubby go as well and you won't feel so alone or 'depended upon'.

Mints for the nausea and the deep breathing will help greatly. Have you ever tried Rescue Remedy? If you haven't and have time before you go, pop into any chemist and get some and give it a try. It certainly works for me, and many here. It just helps take the 'edge' off the panic should it rear it's head.

Wear loose-fitting, comfortable clothing and keep uppermost in your mind that you're going to do this - not just for your daughter, but for you too.

But, in the event that things don't work out - don't beat yourself up about it, at least you tried....and there will always be another opportunity to try again.

Sending you big hugs - let us know how it goes, ok?

:hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

:flowers:

[helenclaire]

Hi Mumjoe,
I totally sympathise with you, i know exactly how you feel.
I worry for weeks about any upcoming appointments and end up in such a state.
I always have my husband with me for support but would love to be able to go on my own. However i realise its anticipating what will happen which makes me feel so bad, because when my son had a accident on his skateboard a few years ago somehow i managed to go with him in the ambulance without my husband and although obviously very scared i coped fine, and i think it was because i didnt have time to think about it and dwell on it, i knew he needed me and i just did it because i was thinking about his feelings and not mine.
I know how much you want to be there and if you feel up to it then you will do it, but dont feel bad if you cant, your family will understand and you will be there for your daughter when she comes home.
Take care
Helen