what is "it"

[gtrgrl3369]

Went to the doctor yesterday and everything from blood work to ekgs to xrays were just fine. They told me that I am suffering from grief over my dads death that happened back in June. I didnt deal then, just cried and moved on. My dad was very distant at best and mean when I did know him so I figured crying was good enugh for him. Fast forward 8 months later and panic and anxiety hit. Getting better a little everyday, but they say if I deal with "it", "it" will go away. Can anyone tell me what"it" is. I dont have a clue. People tell me that he was your dad you loved him but I have not 1 good memory of him. How sad huh? If anyone knows what I am supposed to be doing please tell me and maybe this will go away. Thanks for listening.:scared15:

[Lilith1980]

I suspect that by "it", they might mean the issues you have with your father hun.

You say you dont have one good memory of him, so you have bad memories? You also say your Dad was distant - are you perhaps grieving because now that he is gone, there is no chance for you to try and grow close to him and have a proper relationship with him?

I'm not trying to pre-empt the issues underlying your anxiety as I dont know, but just thought I'd put forward a few suggestions to help you dig deeper.

Take care hun

Jo xxxxx

[gtrgrl3369]

Thank you very much for responding and yes I do believe what you are saying is true. I do feel that now I cant say what I wanted to him and my memories were bad. I need to get the closure I need. I wrote a letter last night and burned it. It is so funny how in life he didnt give the time of day and now in death I have all the anxiety I can get. Life sure is funny sometimes. Thank you again. It did help. xxxx

[AceR1mmer]

Go to his grave and tell him everything, good,bad,hate,sadness every feeling or thought towards him, and then let that be the end of it.:)