Why can't I be like that??

[helpsarah]

Sorry I've been posting so much lately...I don't feel like I can talk to anyone else about my HA and it helps to post on NMP to get it out....Anyway, my husband has a bunch of really big moles on his back. I was scratching his back and told him he should probably get them checked out. He said, "Nope. Their fine. They've always been there. They haven't changed. And, really, I don't care." "What?! How can you just not care?" I say. He explained that it wasn't that he doesn't care, it's just that he doesn't worry about it at all...it never crosses his mind, but if the moles would change, then, yes, he would she a doctor. Later that same day, I was talking to my husband's sister about self breast examines. She tells me she doesn't do it. I was like, "What?! What do you mean you don't do it?" She said, "I know I should, but I just don't think about until I'm at the doctor and have to lie to them and say I do do them." Again, long story short, why can't I be like that? Why can't I be like, "Yes, I'm aware bad things can and do happen. But there are no guarantees and my chances of getting ill are no different than anyone elses?" I want to be like that! I strive to be like that!

[JaneS]

I guess its cos we are all different Sarah. My husband is the same - he never worries about his health but drives himself mad about finances, work etc. whereas I have health obsessions and am not that bothered about where the next penny comes from. If its any consolation I have a lot of moles and have had a few removed (all turn out to be benign). I also get new ones now and again and the specialist has said to watch for any changes in their growth or appearance. If your husband has had them for years with no change he is probably right in assuming that they are OK. I have to go for an endoscopy next week and am driving myself mad with worry - my husband says it wouldn't bother him especially if he was sedated. How can he have such a different attitude - guess we all have our different ways. I do find talking to my husband about these issues does help ie. we discuss his problems and mine and I often feel better when he understands the things that bother me. This website is a gem though for support as so many people are in the same boat.
Keep striving to be more positive - we can do it!