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Howler
22-02-08, 12:11
Hello people,

I'm so grateful to have found this website; its nice to know there are other people out there suffering in the same way I do!

My anxiety problems started with panic attacks and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder in my teens -crippling anxiety about my health and wellbeing and that of my family, causing irrational behaviour, rituals and constant intrusive thoughts. I thought I had knocked this one on the head and hadn't suffered for years (I'm 21) until I had a panic attack a month ago.

Since then I have been suffering from dizziness (the 'walking on a ship' type that gets so much worse with anxiety and so much better with booze), blurred vision (mild and seems to swap eyes when it gets bored...), forgetfulness (doing something and forgetting I've done it, difficulty with recall of some people's surnames and general slowness to resolve things), lucid dreaming (dreaming before I actually fall asleep -very disturbing), nightmares, derealization, depersonalisation, tinnitus, mild hallucination (particularly when I'm falling asleep and mistaking things for other things during the day -not the seeing a pink elephant type) and some other weirdness I can't think of right now.

The impact on my life has been fair -I'm unable to concentrate very well at work, my relationship with my flatmates has deteriorated somewhat. I have however received nothing but unwavering support from my fantastic boyfriend, my family and my fellow Buddhist practitioners and for that I am so grateful.

Two visits to different doctors have assured me this is all brought on by severe anxiety and I am now on a waiting list to see a counsellor and possibly going to be put on beta-blockers. Blood test results due in about a week.

I grew up on a farm and the cattle crisis of the 90's left me with a massive fear of losing my mind/memory which is where this all seems to stem from, I have a hard time trusting doctors (which would be insulting to a GP with 20 years' experience) although have had no bad experiences so far.

I'm doing a lot better than I was and putting my faith and effort into my Buddhist practice to move forward, and any kind words or reassurance from fellow sufferers would be appreciated!

Ed

manmoor
22-02-08, 12:19
Hi Howler,

A big warm welcome to you. xx

Lilith1980
22-02-08, 12:23
Hi Ed, welcome to NMP ;D

You'll get lots of great advice and support here, we all support each other and you're sure to make some good friends :)

I think counselling will help you a great deal - I am nearly at the end of counselling and it has helped me unravel issues in my mind and just to talk about things to someone who understands and wont judge, is a great relief.

Jo xxxxx

dawny
22-02-08, 13:11
:welcome: welcome ed:welcome: love from dawny

Howler
22-02-08, 13:15
Thank you all very much! I am looking forward to it, although its irritating to have to remain 'in limbo' until then. I think my main problem is that I'm a 'what-if-er', which is definitely an unproductive but difficult state to be in. Every bit of relief I get just seems to be so short lived -its never long before I'm back convincing myself I'm stricken with some sort of neurological illness. I suppose it just goes to show that with a problem like anxiety you really have to treat the root cause and not just the symptoms!

chalky
22-02-08, 14:40
Hi Howler,

Welcome to the Forum.

:hugs: :yesyes: :hugs: :yesyes: :hugs: :yesyes:

You will get loads of advice and suppport here.

Best wishes,
Chalky

weeble40
22-02-08, 14:44
hi and welcome to NMP you will find lots of advice and good tips on here, hope to see you around sometime

Emma xx

kellie
22-02-08, 15:56
hiya howler (ed) :welcome: to nmp its great to have you here:yesyes:. you will get lots of support and advice from all the great members here. i hope to talk to you in the chat room sometime, takecare :hugs: :hugs:.

kellie.

jill
22-02-08, 16:06
Hi Ed,

WELCOME TO THE SITE,

You have come to the right place, there are lots of nice people here who will help and support you.

TAKE CARE

LOVE JILLXX

Howler
22-02-08, 16:39
Awh wow you're all so lovely! Thanks everyone for making me feel so welcome; I feel far more positive about things knowing I'm not alone. I'll keep you all posted of my progress on this thread,

Ed x

bet
22-02-08, 18:03
welcome Ed,

bet x

groovygranny
22-02-08, 18:57
Hello Ed:welcome: to you!

It's great that you've got such good support from your b/f and your friends.

Plenty more of that here too!

Check out the links on the left if you haven't already, there's some good stuff there.

Yuk, the dizziness and depersonalisation are really horrible aren't they? - big hugs for you :hugs:

Glad you joined us - pleased to meet you!

:)

nomorepanic
22-02-08, 21:56
Hi Ed

A warm welcome aboard and lovely to see you here.

Hope we can be of some help.

Southern_Belle
25-02-08, 00:54
Hi Ed,

Welcome to the site. You will find many here who feel just like you do and will get tons of support.

Hugs,

Laura

sarajane
25-02-08, 13:01
Welcome to NMP Ed,

You are really having a tough time of it arn't you.

We are always here for you, and because there are people from all over the world here, you can always find someone to talk to 24/7.

I have found this site a god send for me, and you will to.





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you will have to excuse my writing, I think I've had to many drinks in Kates 'Virtual Pub.' hick hick, burp. . ..oh sorry. . excuse me.

Love from
Sarajane xxxxx

Howler
25-02-08, 15:04
Thanks everyone; I feel so supported. Suffering a bit today as some people might have seen from my thread about concentration, speech and typing or writing problems. My concentration is terrible at the moment, even when I'm not feeling anxious -I'm mis-spelling things, mis-pronouncing, stumbling over my words and my typing skills have deteriorated (although they were never great...). Scary stuff. I'm determined to overcome this but it seems I have a new symptom every week to panic about.

Ed x

Lindalou64
25-02-08, 16:29
Hello Howler And Welocme.......wish Ya Well...........linda

Howler
26-02-08, 10:17
Just back from another Dr's appointment -blood tests all came back normal which is nice to know and my Dr was supportive and kind as usual... although strangely I don't feel any better! Feeling really quite spaced out today; suffering incessant mind chatter and derealisation feelings and my usual intense fear of losing my memory. Exhausting.

Love to all,
Ed x

Pink Princess
26-02-08, 17:14
http://www.netnax.net/imgs/greets/just-saying-hi3.gif

welcome to the site xx

trac67
03-03-08, 18:31
Hiya,

Welcome to the forum, you will get a lot of good advice here and make some new friends

Take care

Trac xx

heidi
03-03-08, 18:55
http://i226.photobucket.com/albums/dd152/heidi51/myspace-graphics-comments-027.gif

Welcome to NMP, you will get tons of support here and make a loads of friends also.......Don't forget to visit the chatroom !! :hugs: