Hello, just joined

[sotonstuart]

Hello everyone,

I thought i had better introduce my self.. firstly i would like to say i was given details from this website though a dizzy support forum.. *better not say which.. i dont want you all thinking i am spamming* :hugs:

Anyway... my name is Stuart, i live in southampton UK, i am 30 years old.. single gay man.. *a good friend of mine calls it's a "happy Man"*

I have suffered with depression from a very early age... so i am decades into this.. urggg

Found personally that doctors are limited in their support, but the reason for joining this forum today is i have been struggling for months now with everything... and last night found my self saying out loud.. i cant take anymore... dont panic i am not saying i am going to do anything silly.. as i dont think i would.. i do have a lot to live for..


But forgive this long post.. but if i give you a brief history to my life, it gets it all out in the open..


Childhood was moderate at best... father was in the navy and away at sea ALL the time. my mum, who i do love to bits has been agoraphobic all of my life time so we * me and my 2 brothers and sister* never really got out much.. but it all started to go down hill a few years back..

I was with my ex partner for 8 years *not a great relationship* but i loved him none the less.. we had everything together, house, business.. dog... everything lol but he out of the blue one new years morning went.. packed his bags while i was sleeping and went without me knowing.. only to phone me a few days later to tell me it was over... after months of legals battles it was all sorted .. the house, the company... the dog... *poor rosie*

Anyway... year and a bit later.. over coming that, i met a really nice guy.. who for me was perfect.. ok it had it's up's and downs.. but on the whole it was right for me.. for the 1st time someone treated me right and i was happy.. *rose colour glasses i know* anyway suddenly and out of the blue he died of a mass brain bleed one morning.. next to me in bed... :weep:

That was nearly 3 years ago now... which i do admit i did struggle.. did the best i could... gave him the best funeral i could afford... said nice things in the eulogy..

September last year i started feeling woozy and dizzy all the time.. my gp is has no idea why.. not treatment... for the last few weeks i feel sick all the time.. i hardly go out.. i dont see anyone.. the only time i do go out is get some milk and bread from the shops *living alone* but thats run there as quick as i can.. and run home again..

So now, i am feeling like my limits are way behind me and surviving on luck, and luck alone... every night i go to bed.. i am scared, worried will tomorrow be worse.. like huh.. can it be?! lol


Anyway.. sorry long winded.. i am not asking for answers or help in this post.. just wanted to introduce my self.. but me being me.. i have to do it the long winded way! lol

I hope i get to speak to you all... and the coffee is on me.. :)


Stu x

[dawny]

:welcome: welcome stu:welcome: love dawny

[buzzing bees]

hi heres a quick hi and warm welcome youv joined a fab lot of caring frends on here by for now

[sheba2]

Hi Stuart. I'm new too. Sorry to hear you're having such a bad time at the mo. You sound as if you have had a lot to get through in the past few years so maybe it isn't surprising that you're feeling a bit low at the moment. Take some time to look after yourself that's what I keep reminding myself to do and I know it is easier said than done but it helps me. I'm just going to post my intro on here as I only joined yesterday.

[manmoor]

Hi Stuart,

A big warm welcome to you. xx

[f1widow]

Hi Stu - ive just joined today also - reading your message i totally understand why you feel like you do - I am sorry that you've not had a great time with relationships - you've given a lot - like one of the others said - look after yourself - the thread i started i made a joke about "my chair" (im agoraphobic and have panic attacks etc etc ) and ive just said if my chair were bigger you could all come and sit with me (you can make the coffee though!!!)
They all seem a great bunch here - really understanding - if you need to chat though im happy to talk - take good care of yourself - big hug - f1widow xxx
ps I have a wicked sense of humour hope the above didnt offend you in anyway xx

[chalky]

Hi Stuart,

Welcome to the Forum

:hugs: :yesyes: :hugs: :yesyes: :hugs: :yesyes:
You will get loads of support and advice here.
I am so sorry to hear of your loss-a tragic ordeal for anyone to deal with.
Best wishes,
Chalky

[weeble40]

Hi Stuart and a big warm welcome to NMP you will get loads of good advice here and make lots of friends in the process, hopeto catch you some time in chat

Take Care

Emma xxxx

[ladygrom]

http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/4/4_1_115v.gif (http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb001_ZCxdm860YYGB) hi and big welcome stuart tc xx





http://www.smileycentral.com/sig.jsp?pc=ZSzeb097&pp=ZCxdm860YYGB (http://smiley.smileycentral.com/download/index.jhtml?partner=ZSzeb097_ZCxdm860YYGB&utm_id=7925)

[kellie]

hiya stuart :welcome: to nmp its great to have you here :yesyes:. you will get lots of support and advice from all the great members here. i said hello to you in chat but had to go just as you asked who was up for a sing song.id love to join in ( always fancied myself as a karaoke queen). hope to talk to you soon takecare:hugs: :hugs:.

kellie.

[jill]

Hi Stuart,

WELCOME TO THE SITE,

There are lots of nice people here who will help and support you.

TAKE CARE

LOVE JILLXX

[sotonstuart]

awwww this is such a great place.... thank you for all your warm welcomes :)



Stu xx

[Lilith1980]

Hey Stu, I'm sorry to hear what you have been through hun, but you will get some great support and advice on here.

You're certainly not living each day on luck alone, you are living it because you are a strong person and you are facing these things. You should be proud :)

Jo xxxxx

[nomorepanic]

Hi Stu

A warm welcome aboard and lovely to see you here.

Hope we can be of some help.

[trac67]

Hi Stu,

Welcome to the forum, you will get a lot of good advice here and make some new friends

Take care

Trac xx

[groovygranny]

Hello Stu:welcome: to you!

Crikey, it's no wonder you're so down - what an absolutely awful time you've had :hugs:

I also have an agrophobic mother (since I was 5 - and I'm 53 now!) and that had a profound effect on me, an only child.

You've come to the right place for help and support..... I've never regretted it for one minute!

Pleased to meet you!

:)

[jodie]

hiya

welcome to no more panic :grouphug:

jodie x

[kazzie]

Hey Stu:hugs:

You are alone no longer:D

You now have me to bother you:D

Dont forget our date this week

Ring Me

Kaz x x x:hugs:

[Southern_Belle]

Hi Stu,

Welcome to the site. I too am so sorry for your loss. You will meet many here who feel like you do and will find support. Again, welcome.

Hugs,

Laura

[Lindalou64]

Hello Suart And Welcome .....i Wish Ya Well...............linda