Scared of childbirth

[bex.d]

Hi, i have posted on here before about chest pains and being pregnant, well i have been ok-ish for a while and now i'm 35 weeks pregnant with my 2nd child and my old fears are coming back, think it's because the birth is getting nearer, the pains in my chest have come back, not very strong but still there, i'm really breathless, i know these are signs of anxiety but just latley i keep thinking what if, I also get a funny feeling in my chest/throat that feels like someone is pressing down on me, i only seem to get this when i sit or lie down, it goes off after about a minute but it feels like i cant breathe and it scares the hell out of me. I also googled (stupid i know) chest pain and pregnancy and found a headline of a woman who had palpitations during pregnancy and died in child birth...my worst fear, i didn't read the whole thing but now i'm sat here thinking it's going to happen to me! My 1st birth wasn't that traumatic i just had a really spaced out feeling and felt really dizzy for a couple of weeks later, which scared me at the time thinking i had an aneyrysm or something but looking back i think that was my 1st anxiety attack! I just can't get this fear out of my head that i'm going to leave my children motherless and i look at my 4 yr old and i think how is your daddy going to explain it to you, as if it's a certainty that it's going to happen! I just wish i could feel normal and enjoy being pregnant but i can't for the fear of whats to come.

[Granny Primark]

Hi just want to give you some big hugs and loads of good wishes for the birth of your 2nd child.
My daughter had her first baby 5 months ago and went on brilliantly.
She had and still does have loads of advice from a website called emmas diaries.
She had the leaflet about the site given to her from the midwife in a baby pack when she first found out she was pregnant.
Its been her lifeline along with the support shes recieved off family.
Hope this helps.

Loads of love and good wishes.
Take care
LYNN xx

[sheba2]

Have a good chat to your midwife and tell her what you have said here. I'm sure that if you had any problem with your heart they would have found out now through the normal monitoring of bp etc. When you lie on your back in late pregnancy the baby can put pressure on your stomach and blood vessels. I think I read somewhere that it is best to lie on your left side to alleviate this. When I was expecting my children I was always frightened that something would go wrong during the birth and that they would only be able to save one of us I always made my husband and midwife promise that they would choose me. I think I saw this in a film somewhere daft but it stayed with me. I'm sure that everything will be fine but do talk to the midwife that is what they are there for.

[Alisonj]

I can relate completely! I had my third baby in May. I was terrified. Even though I had just had one 14 mths before!!!
I have postpartum problems with my blood pressure so I was terrified that things wouldnt go well etc,
right now your hormones are a wreck. It is completely normal to be scared. If you want to chat further pm me

[mirry]

Bex , oh I worried myself sick thru my pregnancys , and really got myself worked up about nothing. You will be fine and so will your 4 year old :hugs: .
Once babys here you will be so busy and can forget all these thoughts :yesyes: .

[helenclaire]

You are bound to have concerns, having a baby is a big thing, i was fine with my 1st and 2nd but when i was expecting my 3rd i had high blood pressure and starting thinking what if something happens, i think it shows that you are a caring mum as you are obviously concerned about your children, i felt the same even though i knew they would be well cared for.
Speak to your midwife about your fears, i am sure she will able to reassure you.
Remember you will have the best care around when the time comes.
So look forward to holding that beautiful new baby, the second you do i am sure all your fears will fly out the window.
Take care
Helen:hugs:

[jodie]

hiya :hugs:

i feel for you i realy do i was just the same having my children i was so panicy about the birth and you know when it got to doing it i was fine the nurses were realy good they knew how i felt ect.
it is funny how you just get on with it when it comes,dont you think it is all the wory befor hand .
i had pals all through my pregnancy every day ,i was so scared but i was fine the doc sead it was just coz the baby was taking up so much room in the tummy it pushed things up next to the heart nothing to worry about i even got pals when having my little on and still i was ok

jodie xx

[pinkdante]

The fact that your anxious is a sign that your palpitations are more than likely anxiety related.
I'm sure things would've been picked up during your b.p checks etc.

My pulse rate went sky high when I was pregnant with my 2nd and gone for a blood test - I had to wear a heart moniter and it all came down to the fact I was so nervous about having the blood test!

If your 1st birth went ok I'm sure this one will follow suit.

The bit where you say you looking at your 4 yr old as if its already a certainty is I'm sure part of ocd, or extreme anxiety.
I'm exactly the same, I become so convinced of things - but that is your mind!

I'm sure it'll go fine and at the time to be honest you're just concentrating on getting baby born......try and focus on the lovely things - how lovely it'll be when your kids can play together etc.
Big Hugs!

[AngelHeart]

Lots of hugs to you honey :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

Childbirth is a scary thing. I was petrified and I've had 3 now :)

My HA started after having my 2nd and was like you convince I had everything wrong with me and for the past 6 years have been worried about leaving my children, which is a natural thing for any mother. I also had heart beat problems through my 2nd pregnancy which they picked up on straight away and I had to go for further tests. I'm sure they would have picked up if you were also having problems as this is a major part that they check for when your pregnant as the heart turns. Everything was ok with me and I had a normal birth.

The presure your feeling I'm sure ( as well as anxiety ) is the baby getting bigger and pushing on your chest. A very common thing in pregnancy.

I would just have a little chat with your midwife to give you some reasurrance hun as I'm sure everything is fine.

With my 3rd child I was absolutly terrified of giving birth and was having panic attacks all the time but when the actual birth came I was very focused and the pnic went away and I ended up having him very fast. It was a fantastic birth , much better than my other 2 and I felt elated afterwards.

Everything will be fine hun and your in the best of care with the midwives and Drs. :winks:


Pauline xx

[Ma Larkin]

Aw bless. I really feel for you. I'm sure the breathlessness is just due to baby pressing on your organs. My grandson is 5 weeks old and I was at the birth and with my daughter for nearly every minute of her pregnancy and have 2 other children as well, the youngest is 7 so I know my baby stuff.

I coped with my anxiety throughout childbirth and I'm sure you will have a wonderful experience. We all get a bit anxious especially in the last few weeks when we feel apprehensive and breathless. Once you're at the hospital the team will take very good care of you. Just tell them how you are feeling and I'm sure they will monitor you're blood pressure throughout to put your mind at ease.

Good luck and keep us posted.

Les

[Coni]

Bex, just wanted to reassure you on the breathlessness and the feeling something is pressing on your chest....you have been growing a baby who is almost full term now, and along with the fluid around the baby and the placenta this takes up an awful lot of room in your abdomen pushing upwards towards your chest and limiting the space available there so you may not feel able to take such deep breaths....carrying the baby also means theres more demand on you to supply oxygen for the baby so you tire easily and get out of breath quicker....its common to feel breathless towards the end but discuss your anxieties with your midwife as the others have said and hopefully that will help, and will also make them aware of how anxious you feel so they can make sure you get the best care for you.

Good luck with it all and I look forward to hearing how you get on.

luv Coni XX

[Sax]

:hugs: :hugs: I really am feeling for you! oh gosh I as many can appreciate what it is like being in the situation with only one way forward - closer to the birth.

I didn't suffer thankfully til after the birth of my third with anxiety however the thought of going through it again would terrify me. But I will say this - what you already know is its inevitable, therefore you will cope! you know you will really cos our bodies equip us with the mechanisms to do so. I gave birth to my third son in an hour, he was 11 lb 3oz, I have no idea why so big or why he was the easiest birth, all I can say is remember no labour is the same and so long as the outcome is a healthy child then i'm sure you WILL cope cos u have to.

All the best and remember lots have been through it and how special you are to be able to give another a special life.

Take Care love:yesyes:

[bex.d]

Thankyou all for your advice, it has got me through a really hard week, the only thing is i'm still getting the pains in my chest which worry the hell out of me, and i'm scared to go to the docs cause i've been trying really hard not to seek reassurance from them all the time because allthough it works for a little while, i never believe them 100% and end up back at square 1 again and i feel like if i could do this by myself i'll be a bit closer to understanding how to make myself feel better but It's not working and i don't know what to do anymore, my hubby is getting so fed up with me i feel like i'm hiding everything from him to make him happy which is making me feel worse!!!!!!!!!!
Sorry to keep going on but a couple of you mentioned blood pressure monitoring at my antenatal appts, well they have always been quite low like 90/50 so do you think if there was a problem with my heart it would be higher?:shrug:

[sheba2]

low bp in pregnancy is common and can make the breathlessness a nuisance.

My big girl (aged 28) is going through her first pregnancy. She is 17-18 weeks. She is at high risk as she was due to have her gall bladder removed just after she found out she was pregnant and has had to put that on hold. She has also had a lot of bleeding even up to last week so she is super anxious understandably. Her bp is often 90/50 and has been as low as 85/39 she had to stay in hospital then. So she has a lot to worry about and because of this she needs loads of reassurance just like you do. The only ones who can do this really well are the midwife and obstetrician she must phone them every few days and she has almost weekly scans. But this is what they are there for it's there job to help you. By asking for this reassurance you are not being silly or a nuisance you are just trying to get through a difficult time. The only thing you can do is make them aware of your worries if you don't do this then they can't help. Remember they are not mind readers. Maybe you could take your hubby or mum with you and get them to explain just what you are worried about and how badly this is affecting you.

Big hugsx

[sam gallop]

Hi .. I know EXACTLY what you are going through. I have suffered with health anxiety for years and usually am able to nip things in the bud, although following a very stressful relocation, I am 'sinking' a little bit at the moment.

I have two children .. the 1st was born by C section and the second was an idyllic water birth. I suffer from palpitations ... quite bad ones. I also have the occasional panic attack ... all of which I experienced during my second pregnancy due to total irrational fear of dying and leaving my little man without a mum. Nowadays though I think it is correct to say that although it is normal to have these thoughts, it is still a fairly irrational fear due to how unlikely it is to happen.

Your breathlessness is likely to be caused by your reduced lung capacity because of the growing size of your little one. I had that too ... I am 5 foot 3 and had a 9 lb 12 baby so my lungs were really squished. I found it impossible to lie on my back (unwise anyway in pregnancy) so keep to lying on your side... try flower remedies or homeopathy... I use arsenicum and aconite but speak to a homeopath. good luck and try to enjoy! Don't let the anxiety rob you of the happiness of pregnancy. I try to see my anxiety as the enemy!! Big hugs .. and don't use the internet!!!!!

[curly P]

:hugs:
I really understand how you are feeling. My daughter is 15 months old and I suffered terrible worry and anxiety all though my pregnancy. I had awful palpitations - to the point where my doc sent me to see a cardiologist. He said palps were very common in pregnancy - its the extra blood your body is pumping.
My blood pressure was also very low - so much so I keeled over twice in work! I had breathlessness too - again common. All that extra pressure - no room for your lungs, plus you are tired and uncomfortable. If you have chest pains I would go and tell your doc you are anxious and that you would just like to be reassured that its ok . don't worry about seeking reassurance. Your peace of mind is much more important right now. I was upfront all the time - told my midwife, doctor even those in the delivery suite that i was a worrier - my doctor put it on my file and made sure everyone explained everything to me - it put me at my ease a little more.
Don't worry about panic after the baby is born - it's in the future and for all you know you will be totally fine. You will have a wonderful new little person to worry about and I know my thoughts turned instantly from myself to my daugher when she was born.
Put yourself into the hands of those who know what they are doing and go with it - the best thing you can do for yourself and baby is try to relax. These are precious times and you should enjoy every second.
Wishing you lots of love and happiness - and good health to you and your bubba. xxx

[bex.d]

Thankyou all again, i really appreciate all your advice and help, i will keep you all posted! thankyou. becky xx

[april tones]

Hi bex, i know this is a old post but i could of wrote it my self! it is exactly word for word how i feel and what im going thru now, its my 2nd pregnancy, 1st was fine, 5 and hal yrs ago! my bp is fine, had few etopics, all being lying in bed and feeling breathless, feel so scared, how did ur birth go?Xx

[jobear]

heya
i felt the same as you i was so scared i thought i was guna die when i was giving birth i wouldnt push haha! i was screaming and biting! but before i had her i had that heavy feeling on my chest and breathless when i led down. its perfectly normal its just cuz of all your organs are so squashed!
my anxiety all kicked off when i had my little girl to and that was 3 months ago. i was breathless and dizzy for 2 weeks after.
but you'll be fine youve done it all before!
and dont read things on the internet its sooo the worse thing anyone with anxiety can do. i should know when i use to do it i ended up in AnE lol
stop worryintg you'll be fine!
jo xx

[bex.d]

Hi April tone i know it's easier said than done but try not to worry:bighug1:My little man Zak was born in April last yr and the birth was perfect:) when i went in to labour it was as if something else took over and all i focused on was getting the baby out and didn't worry at all about myself which is something i hadn't done for a few yrs!!! and after he was born i was on cloud nine and could have done it all over again, i thought if my body can cope with labour then there can't be much wrong with it and in a way it almost cured the way i thought!!
Also i was angry with myself for letting my thoughts completly ruin the pregnancy! Zak is 10 months now and i very rarely worry about myself, more about everyone else which i don't know whats worse as i can't control them lol!!

Try to enjoy the rest of your pregnancy and you WILL be fine. Focus on holding your little bundle in your arms:D and everything your going through at the moment is just your mind playing tricks on you, don't let it ruin what beautifull thing is happening to your body right now.

Feel free to pm me if you need a chat. Good luck hun, when are you due??