View Full Version : Scared about my son 11
Hi, came on because I am in such a state but no-one in chat for reassurance so decided to post my thoughts. I just can't stop crying !!
My son is 11 and last night told me he had been having 'breathing things' where he suddenly felt breathless and had to stop what he was doing and wait for a minute for it to pass. He said he had got it in McDonalds and was so afraid he thought he was going to faint and he was all alone.
He said he had been having them for a few days about 20 a day !
He is having some problems at school and also is stressed about seeing his father, I thought last week everything was getting sorted.
The reason this has upset me so much is that he called me from school and said he couldn't breath, the teachers wouldn't believe him and because they thought he was being naughty had put him in isolation !! hence the phone call to mum. He is now on his way home. The teacher just called back and said it could be stress related asthma.
I don't want my kids to go through any problems that I have to endure and this is the first sign that it looks like he may.
I know a lot of you have children so really need some support with this one.
Thanks for reading this Christine xx :flowers:
Lilith1980
25-02-08, 13:14
Hi Christine
Sorry to hear you're having a hard time of it.
I dont have kids but thought I'd send you some :hugs: :hugs:
Why is your son stressed about seeing his father? Has he not seen him in a while? Does he normally get stressed about seeing him?
I suppose it could stress related asthma (although I dont know the exact symptoms) but the best thing would take him to your GP and get him checked out.
I know it must be worrying and I know you wouldnt want him to go through the same things as you, but if it does turn out that these are PAs then I am sure you will look afer him and reassure him and basically do all the things a Mum is meant to do anyway.
Try not to worry because at the end of the day, you will be able to look after him no matter what :)
Jo xxxxx
Pink Panic
25-02-08, 13:26
Hi Christine,
So sorry to hear that your son is going through this :hugs:
When i first had a breakdown it affected my daughter who was 9 at the time really badly. She wouldn't go to school or leave me alone at all, she even sat on the arm of the sofa and was virtually glued to me.
Children are really resiliant though and she is now a changed wee girl who takes a taxi to school on her own and stays for packed lunch.
She used to tell me that she was feeling ill and when i asked her to describe how she was feeling she described all the classic panic/anx symptoms to me which made me feel very gulity as i couldn't bear the thought of her having to enure panic at such a young age.
I had great support from the school headmistress , a support worker, school nurse, health visitor and my CPN which really helped us get through it. She was off school for weeks but eventually went back for a couple of hours a day and then eventually full time.
I'd say to have a chat with your wee lad and then maybe see if he would like to talk to your GP who can check him over and reassure you with regard to his asthma and then talk to someone at the school with a view to letting them know that your son is
having some difficulties so that they can support him.
Like you i was really worried and blamed myself so i know what you are going through hun. :hugs:
I'm sure you are a great Mum and that your wee lad will get over this with support.
Love
Pink
xxx:hugs:
Well the first thing I would do is to take him to the doctors to get checked out, just in case it's asthma. If there's no physical problems, and it's purely psychological, then you need to reassure him that no harm will come to him if he finds it hard to breath through nervous muscle tension, and also reassure him that it is normal for kids to get like this when under pressure. I've been through all this with my kids, so I know how you feel. The main thing is that you have to take the fear out of these problems so they don't feel that there is anything to worry about, and also tell them it's normal so they don't feel different in anyway from other kids.
Hi Chris, I understand your feelings, I hate it when there is anything wrong with my kids. Like Tom has said, the first thing you have to do is get him to the Doctors. They have machines to check lung function etc. If you can't get into the Dr today, do you have an out-patient at your local hospital.
But Chris, you really have to firstly calm down and take a few calming breaths. You aren't going to do your son or yourself any good if you get yourself all worked up.
SJ
Thanks you so much my son is now home from school, we are seeing the doc in the morning.
I am trying to stay calm as to not worry him, just happened on a day I was already at about 9 out of 10 on my anxiety scale and I just get myself into a right pickle !!
My son sees his father but wants to only go 2 nights a week, rather than 3, but his dad uses emotional blackmail which is so unfair. Harry is also very clingy to me, which I am so aware of, but it is so hard on my 'bad' days, I tend to give in far too easily, but what mother doesn't.
I will report back tomorrow after the doctors, thanks for the support I really need it.
:hugs: Christine xx :flowers:
Hi Christine,
I can understand your concerns. My daughter suffered pa's, high anxiety attacks from a very young, this was many years before I had pa's, high anxiety. She was always moving forward and I was soo proud of her. A few years ago, she was under alot of stress in school and had a pa, in school, I think she was 12 then, I did have a thread going on here, which helped alot. It took her mmm about 5 months to get her back into school, but she did it, with help and support of her family and the school. She is nearly 15 now and doing well.
Hun, please pop off to the docs so you know what your dealing with, Tom has give you some good advice there, please reasure him that no matter what his problem is, IT CAN be sorted.
I do know full well how you feel if its anxiety related, I never new what my daughter was going through when she was young, I HAD NOO IDEA, as the saying goes, to understand something, you have to go through it. When she had her blip a few years ago my haert ripped in 2, I new then, just how she felt, because I had suffered pa's, high anxiety attacks a few yeare before her blip, but I also new, that it WAS possible to get better, with alot of hard work, time and support.
Please, see how he is when he is at home, monitor if he feels breathless at home,the advice Pink has given regarding talking to the school is a must. He should NOT be put in isolation, the school need to know, he's having a few probs right now.
I will leave it there for now, please let us know how things go,
You take care
LOVE JILLXXX
http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/16/16_3_205.gif (http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb001_ZCxdm860YYGB) hiya realy realy sorry to hear bout your son christine my heart gos out to you it realy dos .i got son same age wen i started with anxiety i noticed alot changes in him he was saying he felt dizzy and alsorts had word with teacher and the doctor they said it was bit of stress related it did pass tho .tc ok let me no how hes doing xxbest thing to do is have word with the doc xx
http://www.smileycentral.com/sig.jsp?pc=ZSzeb097&pp=ZCxdm860YYGB (http://smiley.smileycentral.com/download/index.jhtml?partner=ZSzeb097_ZCxdm860YYGB&utm_id=7925)
Hi christine.
I tried to post earlier but computer was being a pain. First if you can I would have a real go at your son's school. They failed big time today and should never have treated him so badly or irresponsibly. They were lucky he didn't have a severe asthma attack whilst on his own.
When I was suffering from pa's when my older children were 11 and14 my 11 year old became school phobic. He missed all of his secondary education. except for the last year when the school put him on an alternative education programme. He had learnt all about panic attacks form me and sadly was unable to cope with school at all. I am still cross with his school for not helping more than they did which was nothing. Looking back we went through hell and we should have had more help either in making school more accessable or at least some home education. He was under the child psych. so it was all diagnosed.
This is really hard if you are having a tough time as well but try and do what it takes to get these people to accept that yu and your son have genuine problems and he is most definately NOT being naughty. By the way I was a school teacher at the time so I really did know that there was no excuse for the schools lack of care. Also I do believe that genetically there is a tendancy in families for members to suffer from mental illness. Obviously patterns of behaviour add to this. I spent ages feeling that I was to blame for my sons panic and I definitley didn't help but I don't think it is all my fault and beating yourself up about it doesn't do any good. Best wishes for the future
Hi, visited the doctor this morning and was sent straight to the hospital for an x-ray - I was really anxious because she said if they let him leave its fine if they keep him in it's not, she knows I like the truth !! But she had listens to his chest and was not happy with the lung on the right.
But I am proud of the fact that I kept so calm even after an hour in the doctors and another in the x-ray depatment.
We are now home and the results will be with the GP either tomorrow or Thursday, so I am not too worried. Harry seems fine and I am just reassuring him it's ok. He is going back into school tomorrow.
I struggle so much with everyday things but it does show me that when it is a neccessity I can do it, a few years ago I would have just called some-one and said I couldn't possibly take him.
Thank you so much for all your support and advice.
I will update you all once the results are in.
Christine xx :flowers:
Hi Chris,
My daughter had asthma when she was about Harry's age.It disappeared of its own accord within a year.
I am so proud of how you are handling this!!
:hugs: :yesyes: :hugs: :yesyes: :hugs: :yesyes:
Don't forget,kids can be resilient little beggars!!!
Thinking of you.
Best wishes,
Chalky
christine,
hope everything works out for harry
thinking of you
dawny
Hi Christine,
WOW, hun, you are handling things great, WELL DONE.
Thinking of you,
LOVE JILLXX
:yesyes: christine you are doing brilliantly well handling this - which goes to show that when the chips are down you can cope, so bigs hugs to you:hugs: it will all work out and things will settle down, your son even if it is something physical will be able to learn from you how to have emotions and how to care and empathise, anx is not all bad even if it feels like it is. you are a good mum and thats all your son needs:yesyes: take care and try to relax and do some deep breathing and remind yourself regularly how brill you are doing:hugs: emma
Pink Panic
26-02-08, 19:47
Hi Christine,
The way you are handling all this is great .... well done :yesyes:
I hope everything goes ok for your wee lad :hugs:
Love
Pink
xxx
I think you are doing really well with this. I know how awful it must feel, no one wants their child to go through what they go through, but the one thing to remember is this: if he has to go through it, at least he's got a mum who knows exactly what he's going through, who won't bury it under the carpet, who will help him in anyway you can, and who won't minimise it. :yesyes:
:footy: Poor Harry, yesterday he went to school, and said he had felt quite good so I let him go play some football, during which he got elbowed in the mouth, a complete accident by his best mate, and has cut the inside of his bottom lip, eventhough I applied a cold compress immediately by bedtime his lip was so swollen he couldn't talk properly.
Just went to see him and it's still as bad so he will have to stay off school, should imagine eating will be quite painful today.
I am struggling at the moment because I feel down, anyone have a nice warm little corner I can come curl up in for the day lol :sofa:
Christine xx :flowers:
Lilith1980
28-02-08, 09:56
Hi Christine you are doing so well hun. Do you get the results today?
Fingers crossed for you and your son :)
Jo xxxxx
Christine Im sorry to read about Harry , how is he now ?
you sound like a great mum :hugs:.
Paddington
28-02-08, 11:59
Hey it never rains but it pours hey hun:wacko: cant believe Harry got clobbered in the mouth ,poor kid:flowers: I do hope the resuts are ok hun.Hey you are doing brilliantly.There is always a dark corner in my house hun..probably as i dont clean corners :roflmao: welcome anytime:flowers: Love Paddie.xxxxxxxxxx
Lindalou64
28-02-08, 12:38
Hey Christine Hun Sorry Just Seen Ya Post.......your Doing A Great Job Us Moms Will Always Worry About Our Kids No Matter What Age.........hope Things Got Sorted Out With Harry.........my Son When 6 Had Bouts Of Anxiety At School Last A Month Or So........not Sayin Thats What Harry Has I Wish You Both Well........big Hugs For Ya Xxxxxx..............................love Linda
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