Help comes when you need it most

[Franz]

No it doesn't. I've needed it for 3 years and no one came.

[nomorepanic]

What sort of help do you mean and what for?

[chalky]

Hi Francis,

There are very many people here who are ready,willing and able to help you.

:hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

Best wishes,
Chalky

[Lilith1980]

Hey Francis

Sorry you dont feel too good right now, there are plenty of people on here who will offer you support.

Have you been to see your GP about maybe being referred for counselling? Or have you had therapy and it hasnt really helped?

Jo xxxxx

[Tom_M]

Well here's your opportunity Francis to make some new friends. All the people on this board have experienced emotional problems, so they can relate to any problems you may have. There also a friendly compassionate bunch of people, so don't be afraid to ask for help and support. We all live in the solitary confinement of our own brains, so we all need friendship so we don't feel all alone in this world.

[lorac]

Francis I know how lonely it can be and really do hope that you can find as much help on this board as I have. There are lovely people on here who will offer you loads of support and give you heaps of encouragement.

Love
Carol x

[Franz]

Sorry for my totally negative post yesterday and thanks for your good wishes. I really do appreciate it. I feel somewhat better today; sometimes the despair just gets a hold of me and I get into a downward spiral where I feel nothing but fear and dejection.

Today I had to abandon my violin lesson because I was about to break down in tears. (The stress of controlling my social phobia all day at work means I tend to be nervous wreck by early evening.) Somehow I recovered enough to go to a French conversation evening and managed, though again controlling my behaviour meant I had quite a headache by the end of it.

But I know I'm not the only one with problems and I'm sorry for acting as though I am.

[honeybee3939]

Hi Francis

We all have days like that hun:hugs: :hugs: , glad to hear you had a better day today, WELL DONE for trying so hard today and not letting the anxiety win:yesyes: !

Love
:hugs:
Andrea
xxxx

[Franz]

Another bad day today. Started off OK. I've arranged my desk so the guy next to me is in full view. I hoped if I could just bite the bullet I might be able to work through the fear that I'm making him uncomfortable. But every time he leaves his desk or goes home early I think, "Is it because of me?" It's the not knowing that's killing me. I almost just want to ask him outright if I'm making him feel uncomfortable, but I know that'll probably make things worse.

I'm at work at the moment. Thank God for this site, otherwise I'd have phoned my parents and there'd have been another row and another disaster and my dad not being able to sleep. I HAVE to keep my suffering from them. Yet there's no one else to talk to. My colleagues all think I'm an antisocial psycho freak. Which I am. I just want to hit something :(

[Lilith1980]

Hi Francis

You are not an antisocial psycho freak - do you definitely know that your colleagues think this? I very much doubt they think that of you hun :winks:

I think that's great what you did at work with rearranging your desk - it was a brave step. How has it been going? Have you tried moving onto the next level and talking to him? Even if you're making a tea/coffee you could ask if he wants one?

Why do you have to keep your suffering from your parents? Do they not support you? Remember you always have the people on here.

Its going to take time and you're going to have to push yourself to do some things which you may not find very comfortable, but the results at the end will be worth it :hugs:

Jo xxxxx

[emlou71]

Hi Francis I am sorry you are feeling like this. I also suffer from social anxiety and have done for most of my life. At the moment I am limited to where I will go alone. The only places I will go alone are taking and picking my children up from school, going to a friend's house (near the school) and sometimes going to the local newsagents. I will not go shopping alone or to the doctors or any appointment alone. If its out of my comfort zone I won't do it. I used to drive but i've stopped doing that aswell because I keep thinking i'm gonna cause an accident and that i'm not very good at driving. I am a stay at home mum at the moment and will be looking to start work in September when my daughter starts school and this is a joke really because how the heck am I gonna get the courage up to go for an interview. I'll probably end up being sick the whole time worrying about it. My oh is getting really fed up with me and its causing a lot of arguments and I don't think its right us rowing all the time in front of our 3 children. I really admire the fact that you are holding down a job and it took courage rearranging your work space like that. Look at me taking over your thread! Sending you lots and lots of hugs :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

[artistguy]

Just relax and remember that you are not alone.

[Franz]

Hi Francis

You are not an antisocial psycho freak - do you definitely know that your colleagues think this? I very much doubt they think that of you hun :winks:

I think that's great what you did at work with rearranging your desk - it was a brave step. How has it been going? Have you tried moving onto the next level and talking to him? Even if you're making a tea/coffee you could ask if he wants one?
Jo xxxxx
I do talk to him a bit but when he's sitting next to me in complete silence I just freak out. You ask how rearranging the desk been going. Not well, to be honest. I've had to move my plant back between him and me, but then whenever I get a glimpse of him through the leaves I get a pang of panic. I'm just worn out. Worn out. Constant stomach cramp and headaches. I'm going to have to move so I'm not facing him any more. Today he went home early, as he often does, and I almost just want to ask him if it's because of me.



Why do you have to keep your suffering from your parents? Do they not support you?

At first, they were a big help, but as they (with me) have realised the problem is chronic, they started to feel helpless and get upset and they sometimes get angry with me for making them upset. My mum has said some horrible things to me - you know, "Pull yourself together", "Stop being so self-indulgent" etc. And whenever I Skype my dad he says, "It's good to see you looking well", which is a cue for me to pretend I'm feeling well.

Really the depressing thing is that I've really been pushing so f***ing hard to improve my social life, hoping that I'd get used to being around people, and it just hasn't happened. I feel pretty much as alone as I ever did. Sure, there's the occasional evening where I manage OK, but I just have to accept that as far as work's concerned, I'll NEVER be able to sit comfortably with other people around me.

I'm just worn out.




Remember you always have the people on here.

Thanks, I appreicate that. Even so, I'm sure you'll agree that online "relationships" aren't a substitute for the real thing :\


Its going to take time and you're going to have to push yourself to do some things which you may not find very comfortable, but the results at the end will be worth it :hugs:

Jo xxxxx
I've been trying so hard and waiting so long and to be honest, there's been no improvement in the last couple of months. The question is no longer, "Can I get over this?" but "Is there anything I can find to make life even partially enjoyable?"


Thanks,

Francis