BaByBuG
26-02-08, 16:48
:emot-crying: Atm im struggling things around me, even tho i went out yesterday( in a diff post) i feel like im being pushed into things with my depression and panic attacks etc being made to do things too fast and im not coping to well.
Im feeling a little wobble and to top it off other halfs brother tried coming around the flat 2day. so i had another attack in the flat. I broke down in tears on the phone to my mum, i feel mean for worrying her and so helpless.
:curse: Other half cant understand why i cant forgive his brother i mean over 2 years of his family picking at me and bullying me has made me like this and i dont want his brother in my flat ever as it is my safe place. So far i had been able to avoid him till today
So im trying really hard to fight how im feeling, i feel crap and to be honest im hurting. Im going to talk to my lady that visist me each week 2mor about this once i get the gutts to call her as im so angry at how im feeling. I have this anger towards other halfs brother :curse:why should i have to forgive him after he treated me like? as it makes me feel like im saying "yes it is ok to be mean" and it not! I have never hated anyone in my life till now.
I have tried hiding how i have been feeling, smiling at all the right times etc. I have tried being strong but sometimes i can't and people can't seem to understand that im not ok. :emot-crying:
I dont have to go out again till friday when i have my meeting with the other lady about my attacks. In a way i dont want to go as i know she is explaining to me what happens to me when i have these attacks but it is soooo scary :wall:
Im Sorry for the rant grrrr just feeling helpless at the moment and need to get it off my chest. xx :emot-crying:
Im feeling a little wobble and to top it off other halfs brother tried coming around the flat 2day. so i had another attack in the flat. I broke down in tears on the phone to my mum, i feel mean for worrying her and so helpless.
:curse: Other half cant understand why i cant forgive his brother i mean over 2 years of his family picking at me and bullying me has made me like this and i dont want his brother in my flat ever as it is my safe place. So far i had been able to avoid him till today
So im trying really hard to fight how im feeling, i feel crap and to be honest im hurting. Im going to talk to my lady that visist me each week 2mor about this once i get the gutts to call her as im so angry at how im feeling. I have this anger towards other halfs brother :curse:why should i have to forgive him after he treated me like? as it makes me feel like im saying "yes it is ok to be mean" and it not! I have never hated anyone in my life till now.
I have tried hiding how i have been feeling, smiling at all the right times etc. I have tried being strong but sometimes i can't and people can't seem to understand that im not ok. :emot-crying:
I dont have to go out again till friday when i have my meeting with the other lady about my attacks. In a way i dont want to go as i know she is explaining to me what happens to me when i have these attacks but it is soooo scary :wall:
Im Sorry for the rant grrrr just feeling helpless at the moment and need to get it off my chest. xx :emot-crying: