PDA

View Full Version : New Member - Struggling with Safety Issues



jasemb
27-02-08, 13:27
Hi All,

When I was about 13 I was mugged, not physically hurt, but threatened. I never told anyone at the time, and kept it bottled up (have been told in therapy that my anxiety is leaning towrds PTSD). My mum and dad had split up just before the incident, and I lived with my mum (it happened near her house) so I never really had a father figure or male protector I felt I could turn to. I'm 36 now, and suffer from bad anxiety, which all seems to centre on being a victim of crime. My wife and I have moved home many times just because I fear something happening were we live (nothing has, by my anxiety/paranoia tells me that it could).

I suffer with anticipatory panic, so whenever I hear a noise outside (be it a car, loud voices, or anything) or when I see something out of the ordinary it can trigger my anxiety. I've therefore spent my life avoiding any situation, which I perceive as threatening, and as previously mentioned, moved home quite a lot. I know that there isn't a crime free utopia, but I just want to feel safe.

Recently moved into the country, living in a small on the grounds of a big house, which is on the outskirts of a village, but quite isolated. There is also a stable on our grounds that is rented by a lady. About three weeks ago the stable knocked on our door, a told us to be vigilant, because another nearby stable had been broken into. She mentioned that our stable and some others close by where visited by a 'dodgy couple' Eve (and they may have been casing the local stables). I now feel very vulnerable and uncomfortable in the cottage. Keep thinking about what may happen (I.e. that the stable behind us may be targeted, or worse still our cottage). All I seem to be doing is listening out for noises, and once I go to bed I am having minor panic attacks (http://www.uncommonforum.com/glossary/panic-attacks.html) with 'tonight may be the night' type of feelings (constantly listening for any sound that may be out there). My thoughts just seem to be all consuming, and I just want to get on living my non work life, without this constant fear. The nights are worse (crime is easier under the cover of night; and my mugging happened at night), and I feel better in daylight for some reason.

I'm currently seeing a counsellor who is doing CBT; I've also just restarted medication after a period off them (so I'm sure this isn't helping the anxiety).

Has anyone else every suffered with personal safety/fear of crime issues?

Also does anyone have any tips on how to get rid of my intrusive, negative self-talk or just ways of dealing with this anxiety?

Thanks for listening.

chalky
27-02-08, 13:31
Hi Jasemb,

Welcome to the Forum!!

:hugs: :yesyes: :hugs: :yesyes: :hugs: :yesyes:

You will get loads of support and advice here.
Hopefully,through time with your counsellor,things will start to improve soon.
There are others here better qualified than me to give you personal advice ,based on their experience.
You are not alone here.
Best wishes
Chalky

jasemb
27-02-08, 13:44
Thanks Chalky,

I know we've all got different issues.

It's just good to know there are people out there who understand, and can try to help each other through.

heidi
27-02-08, 16:49
HI jasemb,
First of all i would like to welcome you to NMP. You will fine loads of support here and make tons of friends.
Yes i did have a fear like you do, it all started when are house got broken into right after i had my son, i was away 1 night to town and it was dark when i got back home,(we lived on a lonely dark road with no other houses around) my hubby was a farmer so he was in the fields working at the time, so when i unlocked the door with my baby in my arms i seen right then that someone had been in there or was still in there!... i was scared to death (this is when my panic attacks started)... i ran back out and got in the car and went to my hubby, so we called the cops and they met us there to find out that who ever it was had took all my hubbys guns and are money that we were saving for a vacation.......from then on i was scared to death to stay there at night and i had just had my son so was very hard having to take him out everynight to someones house ....till my hubby was done with his farming and ready to go home, this went on for 5 years till i finally got my hubby to move close to his mom & dads house and i felt much better then , but it still scared me to be alone at night...but i did stay home, not a problems in the day time though. And to what it's worth they never found out who broke into my house. So yes i understand what your going through .....i could just about write a book about my life at that time lol ....it was so hard living with a newborn and having to leave my home every night before it got dark ..... and the sleepless nights cause i had to keep my ears open for noises like you do.... this was 32 years ago also and i now live in a town with many homes around me and i'm never scared any more .........so here are some :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: for you and i wish i had the answer for you hun. Sorry for such a long reply everyone :ohmy:

Lilith1980
27-02-08, 18:24
Hi Jasemb

Welcome to NMP, you will get lots of support and advice here so never feel like you are alone :)

Jo xxxxx

jasemb
28-02-08, 08:53
Thanks everyone.

I'm having a tough time at the moment, but I know I can get though this. Think I just need a bit of support.

jasemb
28-02-08, 09:42
Some days are better than others, it just seems that my anxiety is peaking at the moment, and my thoughts are all consuming. I have a good job, and a wonderful wife, but because I’m so wrapped up in my thoughts I just feel trapped in this constant fear loop.

ladygrom
28-02-08, 10:09
http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/36/36_1_39.gif (http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb001_ZCxdm860YYGB) http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/23/23_3_36.gif (http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb001_ZCxdm860YYGB) hiya jasemb welcome to nmp youl get loads of support on here youre certainly not alone tcx





http://www.smileycentral.com/sig.jsp?pc=ZSzeb098&pp=ZCxdm860YYGB (http://smiley.smileycentral.com/download/index.jhtml?partner=ZSzeb098_ZCxdm860YYGB&utm_id=7926)