View Full Version : Hello another newbie
katiekatie
15-03-05, 15:52
Hi
I'm 27 and live in hampshire, I'm suffering with panics, mainly health related and depression, I'm having a really bad spell at the moment and cant pick myself up out of it, I'm due to start cbt soon, but at the moment i'm not so sure i'll make it to then.....My partner has gone away for a few days, not sure when he's back exactly and I've become separated from my friends so I feel so alone and desperate at the moment!! Just can't stop crying and checking myself for signs of impending horrible death!
I really want to get out of this, but need some help, advice and direction
Katiekatie
Hi Katie
I was where you were a few months back..I couldnt see past the hour I was in...But believe me you have to be strong and you will get thru it.
I tried to hide how I was feeling from my family fiance and friends for nearly a year - I was bubbly and out going on the outside yet on the inside I was a mess.
It finally caught up with me and I lost it. My family and finace have been there for me 100% and I know i still have so far to go. But I will make it.
And so will you.
Have you spoken to your family or partner about how you are? You need to talk to someone about this as take it from me...it doesntgo away and you need all the support you can get,
Im 22 and online nealy all the time - please please speak to me if you need a chat about anything.
Everyone on this forum is lovely and im sure if you read thru the posts youll c your not alone.
Take Care
Tatty B xx
Hey katie,
I know exactly how you feel, and you are in the right place for lots of support. I have found this site to be the best thing ever for support and advice. It is so good, to know you are not alone. Have a look through some of the other posts, you may find something that helps!
Take care
tracy x x
Hi Katie,
I have been through a lot of emotional turmoils in my life, resulting in me suffering from panic attacks etc.. I am now 38 and most of the time much better than I was, but I still panic about the D word and can't face that ever happening to me or any more of my loved ones. You will come through this and please try to get to counselling sessions as these should really help you.
As others have said, read through the other posts and you will find you are definately not alone.
Take care,
Linda.
katiekatie
15-03-05, 16:17
Thank you for your replies tattyb, tracy and linda, very quick indeed, its really nice to know there are people a few mouse clicks away!
katiekatie x
Awww thats ok Katie [^]
everyone on here is lovely and such a great support network.
x
Tatty B xx
Hiya Katie,
Welcome to the forum. Have you read the website pages yet? have a look at first steps page I'm sure it will help.
You will hang on in there for your CBT but there are other things you can do before then.
You say you have become separated fro your friends. i lost contact with some friends after my 1st son was born - one of them sent me a text about a year ago asking if I would like to go round for a drink and I was dlighted to hear from her and have been meeting them a few times after that - could you try that ? I'm sure they would like to hear from you.
This forum is great for advice or even if u just want a chat
Take Care
Lucky
katiekatie
15-03-05, 16:31
Hi Lucky,
I will look at the first steps section,
I'm glad you have made contact with an old friend. I have moved house and area every few years for the last 10 years, my first boyfriend cut me off from them then i moved away from him and tried to contact again but they moved too, then i move again and again, and with the panics is difficult to go out by yourself and make new friends, I have done so a few times but then i have to make excuses when i panic and let them down and they eventually disappear too, I desperately would desperately like to make some but I feel so bed at the moment, I need a rocket or a kick to get me started again. I just left it so long i'm not too sure where to start..
katiekatie
Hi katie
I have been where you are too Katie and know what you're going through. You will find a lot of support on this board. I too don't have many friends, no real close ones anymore so I know how you feel.
Take care
Donna
I know how you feel about needing a good kick up the a**e I have felt it many times before, sometimes though you need to take things a bit slower than that. As i said look at the website and maybe try and get yourself a bit stronger before venturing into the unknown - Do u work?
Maybe you could do some volunteer work when you feel better to get out and meet people - for the moment take care
Lucky
I totally agree Lucky
Although its hard to realise you need to slow down (and when you do your mind still works overtime) somtimes thats just want you need to do.
Taking on and dealing with too much will bring you down if your not ready.
Im not working at the moment....My aim is to go back part time when i feel completly ready too - i dont want to start before then and go back down.
Tatty B xx
Hi Katie welcome to the site you will get lots of help here. I to suffer lots with health anxiety, and have felt I cant take another second but am still here. I found reading Clarer Weekes book Essential help for your nerves helped me loads. I read a little every night before going to sleep. We also have a chat room someone is usualy there every night after about 8 30pm and u would be made very welcome if u fancy popping in? the web address is
http://pub4.bravenet.com/chat/show.php/342349380
Just click that and come for a chat. Take care, hope u feel a bit better soon, Vernon
hi welcome to the forum im sure you will find it really helpful
fan x
Hi Katie
You've already had some good advice, so just wanted to say welcome to the site and i'm sure you'll find plenty of support from everyone here.
Take care
Tracy
x
katiekatie
15-03-05, 17:17
This is amazing, there are so many people replying and i'm not the only person in this boat...
Hello donna and fan!
Linda, no I don't work, when I got with my boyf 3 1/2 years ago he said i didn't need to work so i stopped and thought it was great at first, shopping and lying in whenever i wanted, but as time went on i started to feel isolated and dependent on him which made my self-worth awful, I started panicing worse because i was getting used to my own company so much of the time that i lost grip on reality, i realise now that you need people in your life,
you are right too, i probably need to slow down instead of trying to kick myself out of it, giving myself something too hard to do and feeling worse that i havent acheived it in one day!!
Tattyb I would like to get back to work part-time too.
I have so many things that i want to do, join a yoga class, work and earn some money of my own (lots of it too if the truth be known, its not everything but i am gready), have some good friends that i can drop in on or who pop round ti mine and go out sometimes.
I have had mild panics for a long time and have coped?? with them to some extent but at christmas i had 3 courses of antibiotics which made me feel so rough and sick and ever since I have been in a state!
Hi vernon, i got a claire weeks book years ago but couldn't get into it. i think i have always tried to ignore my problems, but having hit rock bottom feel ready to startfacing them.
katiekatie
hello Katie,
Just wanted to welcome you to the site!! You will receive loads of help and support here, I'm sure.
Sarah :D
Hello again Katie,
My panic is different to yours, because I have always carried on with whatever is going on with my life even in the middle of a full blown panic attack, so I have never been confined to the house as I didn't let them take hold of me in that way. I think mine have affected me in other ways and I know my thoughts are nearly always wrong but still haven't learnt how to change them properly. I have been lucky in meeting people because I have two children and you tend to meet people in a school environment, but when you do get out, just start chatting to people in the supermarket, at bus stops etc.. I suppose thats easy for me to say because thats probably how I disguise my panic, by talking. I can remember coming back from holiday three years ago, from Jamaica and was absolutely petrified on the plane - I hate flying and really couldn't see me attempting a flight so far again, with how I feel these days - but instead of sitting there showing everyone how scared I was, I just kept talking! There was a man near to me who was as scared as me, and I think I made him worse! Also, like you though, I have moved a lot and find that I don't have many good friends locally. Also, I do not have any family as I had lost both of my parents by the time I was 27 and only have one sister, who I don't see. That makes me feel very isolated as I feel I have no network of support, especially where my kids are concerned.
Hopefully if you can get some good help you will overcome all of how you are feeling and get your life back on track. I know its hard, but at least you are trying.
I hope I haven't gone on too much, I feel like I lost tract halfway through, sorry if I did
Take care,
Linda.x
Hi Katie
Welcome to the forum.
Karen
It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere.
Hi katieKatie ,
Glad you feel that now is the right time to tackle these panics head on . You seem to have coped well with them in the past.
What part of them is the hardest for you now ?
Meg
www.overcominganxiety.co.uk
You cannot conquer fear until you have learned what it is you're afraid of. The enemy is ignorance. Vivian Vance
katiekatie
15-03-05, 18:56
Hello Sarah and Karen
Linda, your post put tears in my eyes, I am sorry you lost your parents at a young age, you are very stong coping with anxiety and bringing up 2 children. I am not totally housebound but i find it hard to go out, so worried about being ill and looking like a twit, and i do feel like i am being looked at all the time but i think i will try your strategy of talking to people, will take my mind of it maybe. and no i don't think you went off track half way, i followed anyway!
katiekatie x
nomorepanic
15-03-05, 18:57
Hi Katie
Welcome aboard. I see you have been offered some great advice already.
Do take time to read the website behind this forum if you can - and especially pages like the coping page and natural remedies.
I hope we can be of some help to you in here.
Nicola
katiekatie
15-03-05, 19:06
Hi nicola
i will read the website pages, i feel so lifted already because there is a community here of people who understand, earlier i felt so isolated.
katiekatie
KatieKatie,
I can relate to much of what you say.
I find myself very isolated and have the feeling "when am I going to get a break from this?"
Well, we have to accept that anxiety does not disappear overnight, but we must enjoy the good days when they come.
I have just come through a bad spell to which I could see no end, but believe me there is and end to these patches, and eventually you should get to the stage where you can cope with the normal life you yearn for once again.
Getting chatting to people and being intensley occupied can be a great relief to the symptoms we endure. And doing things, and socialising will help your mental confidence.
It was great that you found us in the chat room last night ~ I find that a great relief and the end of another 'long' day.
This site is great, I too was overwhelmed by the welcomes I got!
Take Care,
Ray
Katie,
Just to say welcome to the site, & I hope that you find it helpful & supportive.
Linda. x
Being defeated is often a temporary condition. Giving up is what makes it permanent.
katiekatie
15-03-05, 19:33
Hello bubbles
hi ray, glad you have got through your bad patch
Meg, The worst part at he moment is the constant thought that any second i will collapse in agony and i know this is because i have got myself in a rut with no friends or work and relying on my boyf, when i think about needing to do something and get myself a life, i start panicking about my health and tell myself i cant do this, that and the other, and just concentrate on my health, ignoring the real issue. But now i need to address my panis and stop avoiding life.
katiekatie
<b id="quote">quote:</b id="quote"><table border="0" id="quote"><tr id="quote"><td class="quote" id="quote">This is amazing, there are so many people replying and i'm not the only person in this boat...
Hello donna and fan!
Linda, no I don't work, when I got with my boyf 3 1/2 years ago he said i didn't need to work so i stopped and thought it was great at first, shopping and lying in whenever i wanted, but as time went on i started to feel isolated and dependent on him which made my self-worth awful, I started panicing worse because i was getting used to my own company so much of the time that i lost grip on reality, i realise now that you need people in your life,
you are right too, i probably need to slow down instead of trying to kick myself out of it, giving myself something too hard to do and feeling worse that i havent acheived it in one day!!
Tattyb I would like to get back to work part-time too.
<div align="right">Originally posted by katiekatie - 15 March 2005 : 17:17:06</div id="right">
</td id="quote"></tr id="quote"></table id="quote">
Hi katie, I don't go out to work at the moment, the novelty of not working wore off very quickly, we can't really afford for me to be at home but it's difficult holding down a job when you have children and no help during school hols etc. Being at home has definitely affected my confidence.
Donna
Hi Katie,
Welcome to the site.
Good idea to try to get back to work part time, ease yourself into it gently!
Over the years of panic I have done various jobs on a part time basis, starting on only 2 hours a day and I now work 5 and a half hours a day.
I still panic there, I still suffer anxiety and depression, but at least having to go to work everyday gives me a reason to get dressed and out of the house for a few hours!
Love your name, by the way! ;)
Love Kate xx
katiekatie
15-03-05, 20:57
Hello bubbles
hi ray, glad you have got through your bad patch
Meg, The worst part at he moment is the constant thought that any second i will collapse in agony and i know this is because i have got myself in a rut with no friends or work and relying on my boyf, when i think about needing to do something and get myself a life, i start panicking about my health and tell myself i cant do this, that and the other, and just concentrate on my health, ignoring the real issue. But now i need to address my panis and stop avoiding life.
katiekatie
Hi Katie
Pleased you have found this site, its brilliant and you will no longer feel alone and get loads of support on here.
Love Sal xx
Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.
Hi Katie
Welcome to the forum, as you already know you will get loads of help and support here from like-minded people, it has helped me enormously.
Take care
Elaine x
Hi Katie,
Welcome to the site,
I suffered PA anxiaty in june last year, since finding this site back
in August I am now 98% better most days 100%.
When I look back at my post I know I got alot of support from the
special people on here, but it was never just post to me that got me
where I am today. It was post to other sufferers and the advice they
gave to them.
With alot of hard work support and time you to can learn how to feel
better.
I to never worked for a long time, I stayed at home looking after my
2 kids, mainly my daughter who also suffered very bad anxiaty PA from the age of 3, she is now 11 and doing very well[^]
Remember Katie you are not alone and there is light at the end of the
tunnel, but as everyone has said it dose take time.
TAKE CARE LOVE JILLXX
"Believe in yourself. You gain strength, courage and confidence
by every experience in which you stop to look fear in the face.
You must do that which you think you cannot do.
Hi Katie,
* constant thought that any second i will collapse in agony *
Have you even a shred of evidence that this may happen..?
You are self limiting yourself by allowing your thought pattern to dominate- we've all been there so its in no way meant that its easy to get out of BUT you can turn it round and change this.
Its not always being sickingly positive either than makes the biggest difference but being realistic and sticking to it !! so we can all be rational for 5 mins its the sustaining it that can be time and energy consuming.
I am not going to faint - I've felt worse than this before and know I am Ok really and it will pass.
Take 1 issue at a time and do something about one of your issues each day.. be it meeting someone or pushing back your boundaries by 1 metre etc anything is good - just do it consistantly.
Meg
www.overcominganxiety.co.uk
You cannot conquer fear until you have learned what it is you're afraid of. The enemy is ignorance. Vivian Vance
katiekatie
16-03-05, 17:24
Meg, I dont have any evidence that i will collapse, but i am at the moment freaked out about anaphalactic shock. briefly, at christmas i had an infection and had three doses of strong antibiotics, made me feel so ill, lost some weight and felt rough, a few weeks later i feel a lump in my throat, see gp who says nothing there, few days later i'm gagging and cant breathe, call ambulance, they cant see anything in my throat and say its panic attack, go to gp again who says there is nothing there but i am convinced there is something in my throat, go to a&e and they put camera down my throat and find, nothing. reassured i feel better instantly. next day i get a rash, go to gp who says probably allergic to something but not very serious so dont worry. my mind then links my throat feeling bad possibly the allergy and starting of anaphalaxyis. seen 2 drs who both said that this is not possible. convince myself that i cant eat anything, losing weight. I'm now 7st10 and 5'7". i have had a few little rashes and dr says it stress. i have started eating again this week and taking vitamins but everytime i eat i feel my whole mouth tingling and tongue, after an hour it goes because by then i have reassured myself that i'm ok. i know the tingling is in my head because i'm waiting for it, but it panics me blind each time. dr has just sent me for more blood tests because i'm so weak and pasty and i'm waiting for cbt appointment, will be soon as i'm going private, i also have an appointment with the allergy consultant, again private as my dr doesnt think it necessary and wont refer me. sorry this is long....i know this is so mad and i have hit rock bottom so i will work so hard at getting out of it,
katiekatie
katiekatie
16-03-05, 17:28
Hello Jill, Elaine, Sal, Kate and Donna, thank you for your replies
katiekatie x
nomorepanic
16-03-05, 19:57
Katie
Is it a lump in throat and sort of not being able to swallow feeling? If so then read this post for reassurance ...
MORE HORRID SYMPTOMS!!!! (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=1957)
Nicola
katiekatie
16-03-05, 20:45
Yes nicola that sounds like it,
i was convinced that there was something stuck in there, couldn't swallow it away, drank water constantly to try and wash it away and tried my hardest to cough it up, sometimes just felt tight but most of the time it felt lika a lump!
katiekatie
nomorepanic
16-03-05, 20:49
Katie - I still get it now so I just reassure myself that it is anxiety and then I think that I went to the docs and he looked and it was all ok.
It is very annoying but it does go in time when you can ignore it.
Hope it helps to know it is quite common.
Nicola
Hi Katie
When I had my first PA it seemed to be out of the blue. Lots of anxiaty and PA after that and I counted in all about 25 symptoms over a long time. Since finding this site, now I know what triggered my first PA but rest of the panics was fear of having another one. Fear of all the symptoms. When in full panic I found it very hard and was sooo scared.
I started to think about the symptoms when I felt ok ish. I would go through them in my mind right throughout the day. Kept telling myself that they will harm me, telling myself that if I did not fear the symptom Mr panic will not come. I also looked for things that made me happy. I would stear clear of news papers and horrors films, ( which I love ) just till I have mended my mind to all these negative thoughts. Which Mr Panic had given me. Also I would think about this site and all the information on here, over and over in my head. I believed that I would get better. Some days I felt soooo tierd. I thought I would try and aproch a symptom in a different way. Heart pounding in chest, I know it will not harm me, mmm still pounding, Kids come and feel this, the kids ran over and put there hands on my chest,[Wow!] mum why's that. I told them it was a drum and I was going to sing them a song.[:I] then it stoped. Lump in my throat, again thinking in my mind this site and all the special people on here, I know it will not harm me.
It is soooo hard for me to explain why I feel better, I just know that it is down to this site and all the special people on here, and me changing my thoughts and not fearing the symptoms, and believing that I will get better. Not to forget my GP who send me for checks.
There is light at the end of the tunnel Katie, and you WILL get better.
TAKE CARE LOVE JILLXXX
katiekatie
16-03-05, 23:09
Jill, Thank you for your reassurance, i am glad you feel better now amd i love the way you call it mr panic, makes it less threatening!
katiekatiex
hi katie
iam new here too hang on in there it is possible to recover fully from these disorders...I DID after suffering for more than 12 yrs
dont worry about crying its a good release for and a safety net
i am here if u want to chat
take care keep positve
della
della smith
katiekatie
18-03-05, 21:47
Hi Della
Thanks for the reassuance, and well done for fighting this and getting over it, i will too because i will not give in anymore.
katiekatie x
glad to hear your being positive and not letting this beat you ......keep it up
fan x
katiekatie
18-03-05, 23:27
Hi Della
Thanks for the reassuance, and well done for fighting this and getting over it, i will too because i will not give in anymore.
katiekatie x
Hi Katie,
I hope I helped you in some way and you can try talking to people. It will help I am sure. You are so young and have your life ahead of you. This panic and anxiety is nasty stuff and if we're not careful, we'all be 75, still posting on here and then we'll finally realise, Oh yes, we are ok, but then it will be too late!!! If only we could be like other people, who don't let things worry them.
Don't even worry about people looking at you, they probably aren't anyway and if they are it just proves they've got nothing better to do!! You take care and try to come through this, I'm sure you will with all the help on this site.
Love, Linda.xx
<b id="quote">quote:</b id="quote"><table border="0" id="quote"><tr id="quote"><td class="quote" id="quote">Hello Sarah and Karen
Linda, your post put tears in my eyes, I am sorry you lost your parents at a young age, you are very stong coping with anxiety and bringing up 2 children. I am not totally housebound but i find it hard to go out, so worried about being ill and looking like a twit, and i do feel like i am being looked at all the time but i think i will try your strategy of talking to people, will take my mind of it maybe. and no i don't think you went off track half way, i followed anyway!
katiekatie x
<div align="right">Originally posted by katiekatie - 15 March 2005 : 18:56:45</div id="right">
</td id="quote"></tr id="quote"></table id="quote">
katiekatie
19-03-05, 17:11
Linda
It really did help, each time I have been out I have chatted to people or smiled and said hi, and people have smiled and been nice back, it has made me feel safer, that they think i'm nice and if I collapsed they would want to help me......that sounds odd doesn't it? but it has made me feel safer because I felt they would help me instead of just stare, and so I've been calmer and not panicked!
Can't wait for the CBT then I will kick this panic and all my baggage into touch!
katiekatie xx
Katie,
How strong do you sound!!! Well done!!
Keep it up, but make sure you don't leave the site I still need you here to talk to!!!! Seriously, you have come on in leaps and bounds and sound so different to how you did a few days ago.
Keep it up and good luck with the CBT.
Love,
Linda.xxx
nomorepanic
19-03-05, 18:04
Katie
What a great positive attitude you have and I am sure the CBT will be a big help to you so good luck with it.
Nicola
katiekatie
19-03-05, 20:55
Nicola, yes I am being positive, I still feel yuck but I am telling myself that I WILL get better and this is temporary.
Linda, I'll be around to talk as long as you want, Message me anytime you want.
Oh heck I've got a huge spider to deal with....
katiekatie
Hi Katie
You are doing really well and hold on to that thought that it is only temporary, and i am sure you will get back to where you want to be.
As for the spider cant help you there as hate them LOL
Love Sal xx
Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.
.... i have always tried to ignore my problems, but having hit rock bottom feel ready to startfacing.......... hi katie welcome to the site .i know how you feel and i feel the same also having hit rock bottom. its now startfacing time for me too .i know sometime in the future i will get there but for now i have no motivation.this site as helped me alot i hope it helps you too
dove x x
Hi
I was suffering exactly the same thing a couple of months ago, you really need to talk to someone,it does help. Hiding it away only makes it worse.
Welcome to the site,hope it helps.
hdouglass
Powered by vBulletin® Version 4.2.5 Copyright © 2024 vBulletin Solutions Inc. All rights reserved.