Like banging head against brick wall!

[feelbad73]

Hi, Im 34 and suffer what doctors say is depression and anxiety, have been suffering for 14 years for the last 6 of them I haven't been able to work, mainly due to the agoraphobia thats developed, In the last 3 years I have pretty much no social life whatsoever, I don't go out with anyone due to the shocking feelings I feel when I try to go out with anyone.

The reason I am writing this is because I would like to know if anyone feels the symptoms I am having which disturb me greatly. I know all about anxiety and depression and the hold the sensations can have but I have been having really bad sensations for the last year and a half. The symptoms which disturb me are the constant fatigue, I would say I am a fit person and I walk everyday but I feel like Ive no energy from the time I get up in the morning till I go to bed at night. I usually feel like when I walk I won't have the energy to get home. I pretty much do all the acceptance thing and I really am at the point now when i simply don't care if I make it back or not cause I refuse to let fear stop me anymore. I pretty much have very scary moments everytime I go out and feel extreme torture as probably most of you know what anxiety attack feels like.

I also seem to always be bothered by a exasperated feeling right throughout the day, sometimes it gets so bad and can last hours apon hours. Sometime if I do to much exercise I can feel utterly exhausted for days, can even be as long as 6 days where I feel unable to walk anywhere, but I'm not sure if this is just a feeling or if it is real fatigue.

I also get this feeling in my legs, its like a ache that can get so intolerable, its so bad at times that it feels like Im going to stop breathing due to the anguish it causes due to the pain. I have been to the doctor so many times about it but have pretty much given up cause they just say its tension caused by anxiety and depression. Im not really looking for anyone to tell me any different but am wondering if anyone else feels these sensation. Sometimes the feeling in my legs seems to consume me as if Im going down a large plug hole feet first, and just falling completely helplessly. Anyone relate?

[freakedout]

Hi feelbad, like the name by the way!

It is difficult to know how bad you feel but from what you describe it sounds horrible. Probably not the reply you were looking for.

I do believe that the downside of being an anxiety sufferer is that sometimes the GP may just assume we are being neurotic and put our ailments or problems down to anxiety, it is very frustrating and yeah I can understand you feeling like banging your head against a wall.

Have you had your bloods checked?? It could be something like anaemia that causes lethargy and exhaustion, it could also be down to the depression - which you prob already know (sorry!)

That exasperated feeling, is it like despair? I often feel despair and it can last all day and longer.

I am sorry for my useless reply,

Take Care

Freaky

[franklin2003]

It sounds like you suffer from severe anxiety indeed, but you can be cured, anyone can.

I would start with some very deep relaxation, 3 to 4 times a day for a month and mark your progress thoughts and emotions.

Your body is in a very sensitized state, but you can be cured. Anyone can.

[Franz]

Hi feelbad.

I know the sort of thing you're going through. I've just returned early from a Buddhist meditation retreat, partly because being with groups of people freaks me out (and also because my snoring kept the other bloke in my dorm awake).

I've recently been forcing myself to go out socially and I have coping techniques, like just forcing myself only to concentrate on the person I'm talking to and "blocking out" people on the periphery of my vision. But it takes a lot of effort and I have headaches and stomach pain and stiff muscles ALL the time. I rarely ENJOY going out, but I feel better for it just because I can tell myself I'm still fighting. If it's any comfort to know that you're not alone, I too feel at my wits' end. I KNOW I can't go on much longer like this.

All that said, I agree with franklin2003 about deep relaxation. I've been doing this for 6 weeks and it definitely postpones the moment at which social paranoia sets in. I certainly cope BETTER than I used to, even if it hasn't been the cure I longed for.

[franklin2003]

Francis....

It's no wonder your anxiety and the symptoms remain..you have to learn to let go!!!!

You've got too tight a grip on yourself, rather than learning to accept and live with the symptoms, you have turned yourself against them and are fighting them. This will only continue to feed the symptoms, you said yourself the deep relaxation helps. This is becuase you are doing the opposite of what you've done outside of your comfort zone and let go. Continue to practice the deep relaxation, find the things that help you feel better, and then take them out to those situtionas. And practice, practice practice...you don't have to jump into the deep in the first time..but practice letting go and you will notice the difference. It can happen as little as a month, but could take up to 3 months to see. But you have to be consistant and you have to change your thoughts.

I am telling you this because I did the same things, fought and tensed, they didn't help. It was after continued relaxtion of my body and thoughts that I have turned the corner and am very very close to being cured. The things I have learned mean that I will never ever experience severe anxiety again...I just can't...my mind will not allow my body to anymore. If you have any more questions let me know.

Thanks