Eating Out!!!

[dianes]

:ohmy: My daughter her partner and grandkids have invited myself and my hubby out to our local chinease for mothers day. Great, you might all think! I am suffering with panic disorder/agoraphobia.

6 months ago my sister-in-law and hubby came to stay with us for a long weekend. They are a lovely couple, even though my sister-in-law tends to be a bit like 'Mrs. Bucket' from the television series. I tried to explain to her about my panic etc. but she didn't really understand. I couldn't get out of going with them for a meal. Yes, you have guessed it, we went to the chinease. I managed to sit in the back of the car and make the short journey to the restuarant by closing my eyes, concentrating on my breathing and praying half a dozen 'hail marys' to myself. It is a buffet restuarant, so I found it alot easier than having to sit and wait for our order to be taken. I put a small amount of food on my plate, reasoning the sooner I had finished the sooner I could return home (and get some food to stop the hunger pains!)

We had been in the restuarant nearly an hour and I was just about hanging in there, when a waiter came over to our table and asked if we wanted anymore drinks. I shouted out No! Just get us the bill please at the same time that my sister i.l said 'Yes, can we have some more wine'. Panic set in, rather than try to throttle said s.i. l. I jumped up, sending my chair flying, took off and ran through the resturant shouting at the top of my voice 'I need a fag, I'll see you in a mo.' Hubby caught up with me running down the road and managed to pull me into a shop doorway to calm me down.

Needless to say, I couldn't return to the resturant and my sister-in-law ended up apologising for my 'totally bizzare behaviour' (as she put it) and paying our bill!!!!

All I can say is, please, please, please pray for me tomorrow!

Happy Mothers Day to you all.

Diane

[Lilith1980]

Hey Diane

Sorry to hear about your last experience, your sister in law doesnt sound very understanding but if she's never suffered then she wont know how you feel. Dont worry about her, I'm sure she doesnt mean to be as blunt as she is.

Is it your fear of being trapped in there hun?

Just try and remember that you are not trapped - if you feel a bit edgy you can easily pop outside and get some air, take some deep breaths etc before you go back in. You are by no means trapped hun.

I think you should go and try and enjoy yourself - make sure your kids pay seeing as its mother's day ;)

Jo xxxxx

[kaz79]

Mothers day should be about relaxing and enjoying the day so I hope you can do just that. Hopefully you will enjoy it and try to take your mind off the situation. I know how hard it can be and you will probably do what I do and think of every worst case scenario and plan escapes but I really do hope you manage to keep it together and have a good time.
Good luck:D :D

[dianes]

Thanks for your advice Jo. You are right, I think it is the feeling of being trapped. I know I have that problem everytime I travel by car especially if we have to stop at lights, round-a-bouts etc. I have an uncontrolable urge to get out of the car!!

I am going to see if we can get a table near the door. If not, just try to relax and enjoy myself.

Diane

[dianes]

Thanks for your reply Kaz. I have spoken to my Son this morning, he can't make it as his two girls are unwell at the moment but my two grandsons have already been on the phone telling me what they intend to eat!!

I am going to listen to my relaxation tape and do my breathing exercises before I go, I had a dreadful nights sleep worrying about worse case senarios but I intend to enjoy myself.

Will let you know how I get on.

Happy Mothers day

Diane

[kate]

I did have to laugh at the running through the restaurant saying you were going for a fag :D

It is the trapped feeling that causes the panic and the fear of looking a complete wally! BUT, try to cope with it in small 15minute chunks and stay only as long as YOU want to.

Oh and don't forget your fags :)

Have a lovely time

Kate

[Pink Panic]

Hi Diane,

I'm sending you good luck wishes for your meal tonight :hugs:
I'm going out with my 2 girls for an Indian Buffet and going to try and enjoy it too.
My partner is my safe person but he's Offshore so i have to go it alone so to speak!
Lets meet back here later and post of our success!

Happy Mothers Day.

Love
Pink
xxx

[missy_c]

I hope you are ok tonight, I find that in those situations I either have to tell everyone about the panics, or have a diazepam before i go! Its a struggle sometimes, and I work myself up too much over it. Sometimes I'm fine eating out, sometimes I'm not, its strange.

Have you maybe tried a bit of rescue remedy? Sometimes (not all the time) it helps take a bit of the edge off the anxiety. The 15 minute chunks is a really good idea, as well as having a safe place (mine is back in the car, and just wait til I calm down).

You're running out reminds me of when I had a tattoo done last April, I was fine for ages, then about 5 mins before i was to sit in the chair i started getting the waves of anxiety, tried to think calm thoughts, and was fumbling for my diazepam (i only take them if i feel a real bad one coming on), when the guy said "ok, just sit here", I pretty much did the most dramatic exit (embarrassing my mate who has loads of tattoos) shouting "I can't be here", running out of the hall (it was at a tattoo convention I had it done), with all these bikers and the like looking at me! Some bloke came running after me as i'd dropped my meds on the floor...but i was to panicky to be embarrassed!! Needless to say, i returned to the car, only had half a diazepam, and walked in there half an hour later, cool as a cucumber...and love my tattoo!

[Lilith1980]

Hey

Just wanted to say all the best for this evening hun. Its my b/f's birthday today so we are off out for a curry.

Hope you enjoy your meal, and just remember, you can go outside at anytime if you feel edgy honey.

Jo xxxxx

[kazzie]

Hope it went ok:yesyes:

Kaz x x x:hugs:

[Nibbles]

Hi Diane,

I hope you had a nice meal and everthing went okay. :hugs:

Take care,

Mike :)

[dianes]

Hi everyone, thanks so much for all your support. I am still here, and I made the meal....

I had planned my distraction techniques, breathing etc. etc. But did not need them thanks to my two young grandsons. Sam is nearly eight and Luke is nearly five. Their father had taken them to St. Albans museum yesturday. They had seen five skeletons at the museum along with everything else and couldn't wait to tell me all about it, the conversation went like this:

Luke: 'Nanny you will never guess what we saw yesturday, we saw some boney men!! didn't we Sam?'
Sam: 'Actually, they were called skeletons nanny'
Luke: 'Yes, boney men nanny and do you know what happens to you when you die? One part of you goes up to heaven to God, then all your flesh falls off and you turn into a boney man and live under the ground in a place called graves, all the boney men live there but I don't know if they have a Sainsburys!!!'

You can see why I didn't need any distraction techniques! I had a wonderful time and I hope you all enjoyed yours as much as I enjoyed mine.

Diane

Your imagination is always much worse than reality

[kazzie]

Nice One:yesyes:

They cost us a bomb but god they are worth it eh????

Kaz x x x:hugs: