Hi, new and wondering if there's anyone with similar feelings

[londonj]

Hi,

I just came across this site - I've been scouring the web for some help. I'd really appreciate any feedback - I'm feeling very low and worried.

OK, so for a start I am having trouble separating real from not-real. I feel like I have many layers of worries and that there has been some kind of sudden explosion of them into my life - which seemed fine before.

Here's what happened - I had a couple of quite traumatic events back to back a couple of weeks back. One was being mugged/beaten up, the other I'm not crazy about going into. And ever since then I have had growing panic and anxiety - to intolerable levels. The anxieties don't even seem to be related to the events - for example my primary worry is a health anxiety that is totally unrelated, but all-consuming and has convinced me I am going to die. Even when I manage to achieve a slightly better balanced viewpoint on my health anxieties there is still this enormous sense of panic in me - almost like it just waits there looking for the next foothold to attach itself to.

There is a bit of other background: I have a really stressful job, and I wonder if somehow the events have 'unleashed' something that was building there in the background anyway. I have some other life things going on this year - am meant to be getting married, though I am really happy about that.

Well, my current frame of mind hovers between 'bad' and 'intolerably awful' - with a sense of weird unreality like I've somehow stepped into a parallel universe. I kind of feel like I can't get back - like there's no way back to the happy life I had before. Physically I am just in this constant state of tension, sometimes very tearful, sometimes just blind panic. I'm having difficulty keeping it together at work.

I don't know. Does any of this make sense?

[Lilith1980]

Hi Londonj

Welcome to NMP :)

I can relate to the many layers of thoughts you're having, together with the real and unreal states. Many people will relate to this on here hun.

I'm sorry to hear you went through what you did - you might also find it useful to look under the Post Traumatic Stress Disorder section and you might want to post in there too.

You'll get lots of great advice and support in here hun so you have come to the right place :)

Jo xxxxx

[londonj]

Jo

Thank you so much for your kind post...I really feel I need some kind of support and hearing that I'm not completely alone is a help. The only thing that's keeping me going just now is the chance - it seems like a very remote one - that this is mostly in my mind and that life will at some point feel worth living again.

Londonj

[Loobs]

:welcome: Londonj
Hi

I only joined the site myself a few days ago, and I'm amazed that there are so many warm understanding people here willing to share their good advice no matter what. I can relate to how you feel, I have suffered from anxiety and panic attacks for many years. Mine started through lots of family traumas and at first I coped, blinkers on, but then things started to feel really strange, I just wanted to run and hide most of the time, it felt so unfair, as I kept trying to face things, but I found it quite hard to tell people how I was feeling, but to cut a long story short with time and speaking to the right people (my GP got me a referal to see a counsellor) and after quite a few sessions and talking about things that were really getting to me, I started to feel a bit better. Along with cognitive thinking, medication and being made to face my fears (cruel) I finally conquered it.

I am having a bit of a blip at the moment though, I was happily getting on with my new life, that I've enjoyed so much for the past 3 years, but unfortunately I was assaulted by a pupil at the school I'm working at. I was left humiliated and confused, and through lack of response from the school, I feel as though I've gone a few steps backwards. Thats why I got in touch with this site. I'm sure you'll get support and good advice from lots of decent people, who will share their experiences with you and help you all they can. You take care and good luck, your life is worth living, promise!

[chalky]

Hi Londonj,

Welcome to the Forum!!

:hugs: :yesyes: :hugs: :yesyes: :hugs: :yesyes:

You will get loads of support and advice here.
Victim Support can provide you with an experienced view of the trauma of being attacked-as well as the folks here.
The fact that you are getting things out in the open and trying to take positive action will stand you in good stead.
I wish you every success.
Chalky

[kellie]

hiya londonj :welcome: to nmp. sounds to me like it has been building up for a while with the stressfull job and the wedding comeing up, even though it is something you want it is still a very stressful time. i think the attack/ mugging just made it get a better grip of you. the real/unreal feelings are called derealization and is totaly harmless but can be scary.you may be suffering some post traumatic stress aswell. have you been to see your doctor? if not plz go and talk about how you are feeling. and yes this can be over come with your determination and support. you will get lots of that here from all the great on here. dont forget to visit the chat room where we would love to talk to you. take care hun:hugs: :hugs:.

kellie. xxxxxxxxxxx

[manmoor]

Hi Londonj,

A big warm welcome to you. xx

[Nibbles]

Hi Londonj and :welcome:

You'll get loads of advice and support here while making new friends along the way. What you describe is very common amongst anxiety suffers so you are definitely not alone.

A counsellor I used to see said that anxiety is a natural emotion and as such comes in many forms as a release of stress. For example, you can love people in many different ways such as a friend, family member partner etc. Therefore your stress can be released in many different ways as well such as health anxiety, social anxiety etc. So although health anxiety isn't directly related to the mugging it may be your bodies way of releasing the stress.

I strongly believe that anxiety can be controlled and therefore overcome in the sense that you can lead of fulfilling life. There are lots of things you can try such as therapy, medication, diet, exercise, natural remedies and I recommend you have a chat with your GP if you haven't done so already.

Take care,

Mike :)

[sarajane]

Hi londonj,

Welcome to NMP, you will definitely get lots of support and understanding here.

Any chance of getting a referral from your GP to see a counselor, I've always found they help heaps, and suggest ways of helping you through it all.

There are also heaps of old threads to read from other members asking about the same things as you, if you have a look at these previous threads, you will be able to read the advice other members posted in response.

You probably need to make yourself a cuppa before you start though, because there is a lot of reading ahead of you.

But remember we are always here for you, and empathize with what you are going through.

Welcome to NMP

Love
Sarajane

[londonj]

Thank you all so much for your kind responses...really helpful and touching.

I have booked an appointment with my doctor tomorrow morning - so I will go and talk with him then and see what he says. It would make a big difference to talk to a professional counsellor - someone who has seen it before I guess.

I think part of the horror of the whole experience for me is a kind of shock: literally weeks ago I felt happy with my life, and then suddenly I am contemplating suicide - so strange and nightmareish.

[trac67]

Hiya,

Welcome to the forum, you will get a lot of good advice here and make some new friends

Take care

Trac xx

[heidi]

http://i226.photobucket.com/albums/dd152/heidi51/385.gif

Welcome to NMP, you will get tons of advise and support here and make many friends along the way........Don't forget to visit the chatroom !! :hugs:

[groovygranny]

Hello londonj:welcome: to you!

Crikey you should have written my intro post 18mnths ago!!!!

Understand exactly what you mean.:hugs:

Hope all goes well for you tomorrow, don't forget to let us know ok?

Pleased to meet you?

:)

[weeble40]

Hi and a big warm welcome to NMP you will get loads of good advice here and make lots of friends in the process, hope to catch you some time in chat

Take Care

Emma xxxx

[londonj]

Hi again

Thanks to all of you for all your supportive and understanding responses. It is a great relief to hear that I'm not alone. In my darkest moments I try to retain the tiniest hope that there is some way out of this and try to keep site of the idea that there is a chance that most of this is in my mind, and hearing other people in the same position helps with that a lot.

Just thought I'd update the group...had my GP appointment this morning. Boy, that was the right thing to do. He talked with me for a good length of time, was understanding and helpful. Took me through a structured questionnaire to try to categorize how I was feeling, which I think helped us both. He is referring me to a CBT practitioner and has prescribed a mixture of drugs to help with the depression and anxiety to begin with. Feeling a bit more positive already!

Londonj

[groovygranny]

That's great news londonj! :yesyes:........and very encouraging.


Thanks for letting us know!

Take care:)

:hugs:

[londonj]

Thanks GG...amazing how much difference it can make to talk to someone about it, even if I was a wreck when I started to do so in the surgery.

I still have mountains to climb but I feel much more positive just from the last couple of days coming on here than I had in the previous few weeks - thanks!

Lj

[nomorepanic]

Hi London

:welcome: aboard and lovely to see you here.

Hope we can be of some help