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srostron
16-03-05, 17:49
First off, I just want to say thank you!!!! I have been recently diagnosed with anxiety and have been feeling completely overwhelmed by the situation.

I have been researching the condition a lot on the internet. Specifically, I've been scared by the depersonalization symptom, which is how I found this forum. Jude had a post on January 20, 2005 that said her mind is trying to answer the question of "the meaning of life" or "where did I come from" but can't get there. That is EXACTLY how I've been feeling, along with the feeling I must be going insane! :) I had never had these thoughts before, and I feel like my whole life has changed since my first panic attack. I was so relieved to read that I wasn't alone.

I had my first panic attack January 9, 2005. After my first attack, I had another about a week later, but since then I've been okay, thankfully. But I do have the general anxiety that has been very frustrating. I went to my doctor at first, thinking I had a heart problem. He ran all the tests on me and everything came out normal. I was a psychology major in college, and decided that my problem might be a mental one.

I went to a psychotherapist, who suggested I see a psychiatrist to help alleviate my physical symptoms. He put me on Ativan for 2 weeks, which helped a little. However, it made me depressed and moody, and I felt like a zombie. He then decided I just needed help with my insomnia (that began right after my first attack) so he put me on Restoril. I was on it for over a month, and last night was the first night I didn't take it. It wasn't helping me fall asleep any faster anyway.

I guess my main concerns are that this will never go away and I will never feel normal again, that I am going crazy, and the whole depersonalization. I really hate it, but I've been trying not to think of it. I find the more I read about the anxiety and symptoms, the worse I feel sometimes. But there's always that nagging feeling of "how can I fix this."

I am trying to keep a positive attitude and realize that I can overcome this. But it is very difficult. I am a natural kind of girl and would like to avoid medications, if possible so I've been doing the following:

--Went to one session of acupuncture so far
--Recently started Bikram yoga
--Work out about 5 times a week

If I can just stop thinking about myself and how I'm feeling for five minutes, it would be such a relief! :)

I can't tell you how nice it is to know that I'm not alone.

Cheers,
Stephanie

katiekatie
16-03-05, 17:53
Hello Stephanie

How do you find the yoga helps, i have been thinking about it and have found a class that starts tomorrow, anxious and unsure about going..

I too like to avoid medication, had it in past and will avoid it at all costs now.

I hope you get some help and relief from this site, i have.

katiekatie

FAN
16-03-05, 17:56
hi welcome to the forum im sure you will find it helpful

fan x

tracyp584
16-03-05, 17:58
Hey Stephanie,

I think you will find you are in the right place for lots of support. I also have tried yoga, and find the relaxation side of it to be brilliant. I have been interested in trying acupuncture, but so far have been too nervous. Are you finding it beneficial?

Take care,

tracy x x

srostron
16-03-05, 18:00
Thank you!

I just took my first Bikram yoga class last night. As you may know, it's yoga done in 105F degrees. I have to say, I was a little anxious because it was so hot in there ;) but I ended up really enjoying the class! It helped me focus on something other than myself for a little bit. I am going again on Friday.

I hate how hyper-sensistive I am to all my feelings. Every time my heart beats faster (even from exercise) I start analyzing how I'm feeling. I think it's a vicious cycle.

srostron
16-03-05, 18:07
I actually only did one session of acupuncture because I went on a trip and haven't been back since. I think you have to go several times before it helps.

I went mainly for my insomnia. I swear I haven't had a decent night's sleep since my first panic attack.

linjane
16-03-05, 18:11
Hi Stephanie,
Welcome to the site.

I can totally understand how you are feeling, sometimes you just want to be 'normal' and not worry about every pain, ache, feeling etc.. The unreal feelings are horrible, but I don't get them much now but I constantly worry about one particular sympton, but I am trying hard, especially with the help of everyone on here, to learn to ignore it. It is hard because you always think there is something wrong with you, but keep trying.

I also see a counsellor and I hope this will prove to worthwhile too, I just wish we all had a miracle cure and could get on with our lives and stop worrying, but I suppose that is how we have been made and we'll have to work with it as best as we can.
Take care,
Linda.

srostron
16-03-05, 18:21
Hi Linda,

I am also seeing a therapist. I've only been twice so far, and have another session tomorrow. I too hope this gets to the "root" of the problem, which is what my therapist believes in.

I think you have a good attitiude in seeing this as something we have to deal with, like you would another obstacle in life. But it is hard and scary at the same time.

linjane
16-03-05, 18:26
Hi Stephanie,

Too right about it being scary, I find it sometimes takes over my whole life and with two children I have more important and fun things to do than worry about things that will probably never happen, just haven't learnt how to do that yet!!!

As to my attitude of dealing with it, my counsellor said that is what I have done with everything that has happened in my life (lots of close family bereavements, husband had an affair, two miscarriages and lost a baby boy at five months) and I never actually faced any of it, just got on with it because I was too scared or even shy to show my true feelings. I'm suffering for it now though! We will all help each other and one day get through it. It is so nice to know there are people on here to talk to.

Take care,
Linda.

srostron
16-03-05, 18:40
Linda,

I read something really good recently from a guy that had suffered from anxiety. He said he was always the type to bottle things up and not speak his mind, which I could really relate to!

He said anxiety stems from all these things you want to do and say, but never express. He said that once he started being more open, the anxiety subsided.

I have been trying lately to address people when they make me mad, and confrontation is really hard for me. I do feel a lot better after I speak my mind.

It makes obvious sense, but I still thought it was interesting.

linjane
16-03-05, 18:47
Yes you're right. My problem has been not facing up to the things that happened to me. I can quite easily say what I think about a situation, so long as it is not about my intense emotions about something. This is what my counsellor is trying to get me to talk about. Hope it works!
Linda

mico
16-03-05, 18:57
Hi Stephanie

It's very common to think you are going insane when suffering these symptoms (I know I've questioned my sanity before, as probably have about 75% of the members here). You can worry about it all day, but it won't happen.

What you're doing already is good. Regular exercise will help burn up excess adrenalin, and yoga will help with relaxation. I've never tried accupuncture before, I'm always a little sceptical of these things, but I have heard good reports. It seems that you have done a little research and are already have a good idea of how to go about this, so that's good too (took me three months before I had any idea of what was going on!).

As for medication, in 8 years of anxiety I have never taken it either. It can be great to get people back on their feet, but it isn't a miracle cure. If you want to get better then it's down to you, no external force will do it for you.

Stick aroud and you'll get lots of good advice

And welcome

mico

maxine
16-03-05, 19:15
Hi Stephanie,
You have the right idea with relationation and exercise, you'll find that after a while you will become a lot calmer.

Welcome to the site.:D

Maxine

nomorepanic
16-03-05, 19:16
Hello Stephanie

Welcome aboard the forum. Glad you have settled in ok already and hope you stick around.

Nicola

bubbles
16-03-05, 20:15
Stephanie,

Welcome to the forum.
Hope you find it helpful & supportive.

Linda. x

Being defeated is often a temporary condition. Giving up is what makes it permanent.

Karen
16-03-05, 20:55
Hi Stephanie

Welcome to the forum. I've been having some acupuncture, as well as hypnotherapy, and find I feel much more relaxed afterwards.

I hope you find it helpful being here.



Karen



It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere.

jill
16-03-05, 21:13
Hi stephanie

Welcome to the site.

LOVE JILLXX

jude
18-03-05, 09:48
Hi Stephanie,

Thanks for the PMs. Hope my replies have helped. As you can see, there are lots of people here who suffer from the psychological symptoms as well as the physical. During this illness, we begin to realise just how powerful own minds can be, and how easily they can fool us!
That old devil FEAR is running riot, and although it is trying to keep us safe- it makes us feel horrid.

I have decided to ask Father Christmas for some 'peace of mind' in my stocking next year.:D

della
18-03-05, 16:47
welcome stephanie

being diagnosed with anxiety disorders can be very overwhelming, however as you can see there are many sufferers on this site....SO YOUR NOT ALONE....i am an ex sufferer but can understand and empathize with your fears...stay positive and good to yourself.


take care


della:D

della smith

seh1980
18-03-05, 17:22
Welcome aboard!! :D